blue and white striped sweater
unpredictable weather
my heart on every sleeve
you watch me breathe.
fingers intertwined,
thinking of you i go blind.
a crowd of eyes,
but only yours catch mine.
to be alone with you,
to watch a sunset view.
all i can think to do,
hold my breath till my face turns blue.
under patiently waiting stars,
i cry in your arms.
they wait ( Read more... )

i jumped out the car window,
marks on my back.
i was smiling the whole time
how genuinely perfect is that?
we swore in parking lots and sang to never stop.
called an old friend and laughed till we coughed.
praying 4 nights like these 4ever.

sacrificing hours of sleep,
my pure lamb,
up on my mountain,
no more fences to jump over,
you will no longer be counted.
.
why they want to take my joy?
i’m not sure.
.
you naïve little baby,
you haven’t seen anything yet.
.
i want to unfold the love that flourished when i was true to myself.
.
for you, a new boyfriend.
for me, a sad weekend.
.
i can write about ( Read more... )

on the subway
there’s old hands flattening out papery bills.
motherly feet bouncing feverishly.
this man is promising people his own future
of florida for a year,
how this city is too much.
“mucho dinero.” he jokes.
“next stop.” he promises.
there’s a complaint about shittiness. there’s a response about a baseball field, and concerts someone used to go to.
( Read more... )

isolated, my mind’s sun reaches the lowest point in the sky.
i’m afraid i might be more devoid of the hunger for life than i thought.
i think i am too scared to ask my friends what to do.
it’s dangerous to dance around asking for help, because it might bring me right to the edge.
sucking teeth and chewing flavorless gum.
in one crowd i know too much, in ( Read more... )

you said you sent it from chicago,
the letter in my closet.
the lone letter.
i don’t even read the bible anymore,
but i read your favorite verse.
(maybe, like the letter, i’m the skeleton in her closet.)
you do the smile that we used to imitate from the girls who called me names.
your mom’s in town, i’m so scared.
she is an angel of the lord, i’m ( Read more... )

we tempt fridays by how we lick our lips and crush on acquaintances.
every smile, every moment of gratitude.
sparkling knives in my stomach split the knots, deny my right to enjoy anything you people have ever said to me.
i scour the internet for the things i want, but this town chains me down to hell.
fully clothed, i’m the permanent mascot of this ( Read more... )

some of me is deep in the ground, and only getting deeper.
most of me is on the ceiling, maybe it’s cheaper.
i think they only love me when i’m sleeping.
fill me with all the complacency i’m not receiving.

call guinness records, because i’m the world’s most pathetic loser.
i’d go out for a fight, but i’m not much of a bruiser.
let the past develop your current picture, profile lies and all.
i’m so down that i can’t even be an object of ridicule.
a win for me is reading two pages and calling it a night.
they tell me i should try therapy and growing up,
but ( Read more... )

beads of sweat shook me awake.
i must have mistaken you for the phantom in my dream, mom.
i search for solace in the sheets until i weep.
the words you fed me came up again.
and swallowing won’t keep them down.
i begged for last advice from you.
it’s not easy to let go when i’m desperate for something to hold on to.
i called him and begged him through ( Read more... )