How to make an Internet alias

[gravito]

So you just discovered the Internet Al Gore created for you. Welcome to the fold. But, alas, your work has only just begun. As many have witnessed, you're just not "in" unless you've got a nickname, or "alias" that defines who you are online. This guide is for you.

Some of the best Internet aliases are two words put together, or something that just makes you look so damn cool. Therefore, you gotta start with something good. First, you'll want to select from one of the words below:
shadow
super
dark
holy
evil
black

Then, combine it with one of the terms below:
death
dragon
blade
ninja
fire
ice
reaper
assassin

Now you have quite possibly the most unique and original name known to all cyber citizens. You can use this name whenever you play online games, post in forums, or talk online.

If you are a girl, your choices a more limited, but still very cool:
sexi
pink
velvet
princess
hot

And for the second term:
hotti
lady
girl
"your first name"
star
bunny

Lastly, if you find that your name is actually taken (oh the horror!) then you simply must distinguish yourself. Someone is obviously trying to imitate the real ShadowFire (you) by stealing your name for use on Hotmail. Here is an appropriate number addition in case you need alternates:
69
1990
14
999
0

If you have any questions, or are just too stupid to figure this out, email me at sexibunny69@gravito.com.