Fic: Sincerely Yours
Title: Sincerely Yours
Author: d_sieya
Spoilers: Up to The Large Hadron Collision
Rating/Warnings: G (HOLY CRAP)
Word Count: 1,345
Disclaimer: Yeah, no.
Author’s Note: So, last day of February SweePs fun and yay I got this... thinger out. Basically, a typical Cooper February in letters, e-mails, etc.
---
From: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 2/8/10 9:33 AM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Hey Shelly
You never responded to my email I sent at Christmas I am going to keep emailing you til you do. And I know you got it cause I saw the letter you wrote Meemaw asking her if the inflatable Santa on our lawn we had this year was tied down tight enough. I dont know how it managed to fall over on you that one time but that wasnt Santas fault, I still think you were poking around at it like you did with everything else you didnt like
Anyhow Id just like to give you a heads up, moms gettin into talk about planning another family reunion. Thought Id give you time to think up excuses that mom and meemaw are gonna shoot down 1 by 1 anyway. It would be nice to have you home for a few days. Little Bradley looks up to you for Lord knows what reason, bless him. I know that means youll have to deal with Aunt Bessy but as long as you learned a lesson from what happened last time it shouldnt be to bad.
Write me back,
Missy
---
2/12/10
http://www.ProFlowers.com
Item #42211 “Always and Forever”
Order #893489229
To:
Dr. Sheldon Cooper
Department of Theoretical Physics
1200 East California Blvd
Pasadena, CA 91125
From:
Anonymous
Attached Message (optional):
hey shelly-belly, happy v-day from you know who ;)
---
From: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Sent: Sat 2/13/10 10:17 PM
To: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
Dear Missy:
As I don't want you to be cluttering my work e-mail inbox with pointless messages, I am responding solely for the purpose to get you “off of my case.” Although I feel compelled to thank you for the “heads up” about Mom's schemes.
Would you please tell Wesley that I know it was him who sent the flowers to my office on Friday. You might also point out that it is painfully obvious especially as it's a trick he has pulled before. I will add that it was highly uncomfortable and frustrating to have to explain the presence of roses and white Oriental lilies on my desk to those who “dropped in” over the course of the day. As I'm typing this I realize that that may have been his intention, but I did not find it funny. I would e-mail him myself but I do not wish to dignify the action. I gave the flowers to my neighbor, whom you may recall, as an additional “thank you” for agreeing to speak with my roommate about an upcoming trip to Switzerland.
Also, if you'll notice, on the keyboard there is a button next to the colon and semicolon (“:”, “;”). It is the apostrophe ('). Judging from your previous e-mails you don't seem to “have a handle” on its usage. I am including a link to a page in order to provide clarification.
http://www.wikihow.com/Use-Apostrophes
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD
---
From: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 2/15/10 12:05 PM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Sheldon, Ill have you know that next to the equals sign (=) theres a button that says Backspace. Use it whenever you “feel the need” to put quotes around “every” “single” “phrase” you wouldnt “normally say”
---
From: Mary Cooper (marycooper@aol.com)
Sent: Mon 2/15/10 2:34 PM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Did you have a good Valentines Day snickerdoodle?
Love,
Mom
---
From: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Sent: Tues 2/16/10 2:34 PM
To: Mary Cooper (marycooper@aol.com)
Dear Mom:
Recently I have gauged your purpose in sending me the same e-mail every year and I must inform you that, no, I did not engage nor do I ever intend to engage with a romantic partner in the overly-commercialized celebration of the martyrdom of St. Valentine. It should be noted that there is no actual historical documentation that the man was a patron of marriage; in fact, that particular notion is simply a sentimental rumor posing as actual fact.
I should further elaborate that according to your standards this particular Valentine's Day was worse than most. I spent all of it with Penny, who gave me the flu after I made the mistake of initiating physical contact with her. I am feeling slightly better due to a meticulous medication schedule, but Penny has declined and I am forced to care for her as well. It's horrible.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD.
---
02-19-2010
Dear Sheldon,
Missy dropped in for lunch yesterday and mentioned telling you about your mama's plans. I will tell you right now that you are coming to the family reunion; I'm not obligated by God to send these macadamia nut cookies your way every month.
Your brother mentioned he sent you a gift for this recent holiday and you expressed distaste for it. That is unacceptable. Whether you like a gift or not it is appropriate to receive it graciously and send a thank you note. I'm sure he put much thought into his gift for you, and you know how difficult it can be for him to put a good deal of thought into things. I don't expect this of the other children but you do know better, Moonpie.
I am continuing to have difficulties with the little girl working down at the pharmacy. She seems to be unappreciative of my suggestions as to proper modest attire for a professional woman. She also pops her gum on the job. I don't need to tell you how dangerous that can be, especially around medication for old broads like me.
Your mother set up a prayer group for your health. You must tell me if that worked. And even though it didn't I'm sure she would appreciate it if you told her you think it did. Again, you know my feelings on thank you notes.
I keep hearing about your female neighbor, mostly from Missy who likes her very much, but you know what I think of Missy's judgment. I'm assuming she's an acceptable young girl, however, if she's able to handle you when you're sick. You must tell me more about her, because you have not mentioned her in your letters to me.
Love from,
Your Meemaw
---
To: Wesley Cooper
1782 Broadway Ave
Galveston, TX 77554
2/20/2010
Dear Wesley:
Thank you for the flowers even though I didn't like them. I gave them to my neighbor.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD
---
To: Mary Cooper
1138 Stewart Rd
Galveston, TX 77554
2/20/2010
Dear Mom:
I am feeling better. I am not uncomfortable if you believe it's because of your prayer group.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD
---
From: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
Sent: Tue 2/23/10 8:55 AM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
I dont get a thank you note?
---
From: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Sent: Tue 2/23/10 11:38 AM
To: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
No.
---
From: Mary Cooper (marycooper@aol.com)
Sent: Thu 2/25/10 6:09 PM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Sheldon,
I was going though my email account earlier and I reread your last message to me. What did you mean son about “initiating physcial contact” with Penny? I'll drag you back here by your ear if it was anything dishonorable. I'll also send you a book of baby names.
Mom
---
From: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
Sent: Fri 2/26/10 8:55 PM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
I hope you know Shelly that not answering mom is about as telling as anything you can send her in an email
---
2/27/10
http://www.PersonalizationMall.com
Item #4954
Order #811099
To:
Dr. Sheldon Cooper
Department of Theoretical Physics
1200 East California Blvd
Pasadena, CA 91125
From:
Anonymous
Attached Message (optional):
Congrats on the engagement, Penny and Sheldon!
---
To: Wesley Cooper
1782 Broadway Ave
Galveston, TX 77554
2/28/2010
Dear Wesley:
Thank you for the personalized pillowcase set and the false message. You made me realize why I had avoided corresponding with my family in the past.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD
---
Crossposted @ sheldon_penny
Author: d_sieya
Spoilers: Up to The Large Hadron Collision
Rating/Warnings: G (HOLY CRAP)
Word Count: 1,345
Disclaimer: Yeah, no.
Author’s Note: So, last day of February SweePs fun and yay I got this... thinger out. Basically, a typical Cooper February in letters, e-mails, etc.
---
From: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 2/8/10 9:33 AM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Hey Shelly
You never responded to my email I sent at Christmas I am going to keep emailing you til you do. And I know you got it cause I saw the letter you wrote Meemaw asking her if the inflatable Santa on our lawn we had this year was tied down tight enough. I dont know how it managed to fall over on you that one time but that wasnt Santas fault, I still think you were poking around at it like you did with everything else you didnt like
Anyhow Id just like to give you a heads up, moms gettin into talk about planning another family reunion. Thought Id give you time to think up excuses that mom and meemaw are gonna shoot down 1 by 1 anyway. It would be nice to have you home for a few days. Little Bradley looks up to you for Lord knows what reason, bless him. I know that means youll have to deal with Aunt Bessy but as long as you learned a lesson from what happened last time it shouldnt be to bad.
Write me back,
Missy
---
2/12/10
http://www.ProFlowers.com
Item #42211 “Always and Forever”
Order #893489229
To:
Dr. Sheldon Cooper
Department of Theoretical Physics
1200 East California Blvd
Pasadena, CA 91125
From:
Anonymous
Attached Message (optional):
hey shelly-belly, happy v-day from you know who ;)
---
From: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Sent: Sat 2/13/10 10:17 PM
To: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
Dear Missy:
As I don't want you to be cluttering my work e-mail inbox with pointless messages, I am responding solely for the purpose to get you “off of my case.” Although I feel compelled to thank you for the “heads up” about Mom's schemes.
Would you please tell Wesley that I know it was him who sent the flowers to my office on Friday. You might also point out that it is painfully obvious especially as it's a trick he has pulled before. I will add that it was highly uncomfortable and frustrating to have to explain the presence of roses and white Oriental lilies on my desk to those who “dropped in” over the course of the day. As I'm typing this I realize that that may have been his intention, but I did not find it funny. I would e-mail him myself but I do not wish to dignify the action. I gave the flowers to my neighbor, whom you may recall, as an additional “thank you” for agreeing to speak with my roommate about an upcoming trip to Switzerland.
Also, if you'll notice, on the keyboard there is a button next to the colon and semicolon (“:”, “;”). It is the apostrophe ('). Judging from your previous e-mails you don't seem to “have a handle” on its usage. I am including a link to a page in order to provide clarification.
http://www.wikihow.com/Use-Apostrophes
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD
---
From: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
Sent: Mon 2/15/10 12:05 PM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Sheldon, Ill have you know that next to the equals sign (=) theres a button that says Backspace. Use it whenever you “feel the need” to put quotes around “every” “single” “phrase” you wouldnt “normally say”
---
From: Mary Cooper (marycooper@aol.com)
Sent: Mon 2/15/10 2:34 PM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Did you have a good Valentines Day snickerdoodle?
Love,
Mom
---
From: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Sent: Tues 2/16/10 2:34 PM
To: Mary Cooper (marycooper@aol.com)
Dear Mom:
Recently I have gauged your purpose in sending me the same e-mail every year and I must inform you that, no, I did not engage nor do I ever intend to engage with a romantic partner in the overly-commercialized celebration of the martyrdom of St. Valentine. It should be noted that there is no actual historical documentation that the man was a patron of marriage; in fact, that particular notion is simply a sentimental rumor posing as actual fact.
I should further elaborate that according to your standards this particular Valentine's Day was worse than most. I spent all of it with Penny, who gave me the flu after I made the mistake of initiating physical contact with her. I am feeling slightly better due to a meticulous medication schedule, but Penny has declined and I am forced to care for her as well. It's horrible.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD.
---
02-19-2010
Dear Sheldon,
Missy dropped in for lunch yesterday and mentioned telling you about your mama's plans. I will tell you right now that you are coming to the family reunion; I'm not obligated by God to send these macadamia nut cookies your way every month.
Your brother mentioned he sent you a gift for this recent holiday and you expressed distaste for it. That is unacceptable. Whether you like a gift or not it is appropriate to receive it graciously and send a thank you note. I'm sure he put much thought into his gift for you, and you know how difficult it can be for him to put a good deal of thought into things. I don't expect this of the other children but you do know better, Moonpie.
I am continuing to have difficulties with the little girl working down at the pharmacy. She seems to be unappreciative of my suggestions as to proper modest attire for a professional woman. She also pops her gum on the job. I don't need to tell you how dangerous that can be, especially around medication for old broads like me.
Your mother set up a prayer group for your health. You must tell me if that worked. And even though it didn't I'm sure she would appreciate it if you told her you think it did. Again, you know my feelings on thank you notes.
I keep hearing about your female neighbor, mostly from Missy who likes her very much, but you know what I think of Missy's judgment. I'm assuming she's an acceptable young girl, however, if she's able to handle you when you're sick. You must tell me more about her, because you have not mentioned her in your letters to me.
Love from,
Your Meemaw
---
To: Wesley Cooper
1782 Broadway Ave
Galveston, TX 77554
2/20/2010
Dear Wesley:
Thank you for the flowers even though I didn't like them. I gave them to my neighbor.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD
---
To: Mary Cooper
1138 Stewart Rd
Galveston, TX 77554
2/20/2010
Dear Mom:
I am feeling better. I am not uncomfortable if you believe it's because of your prayer group.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD
---
From: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
Sent: Tue 2/23/10 8:55 AM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
I dont get a thank you note?
---
From: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Sent: Tue 2/23/10 11:38 AM
To: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
No.
---
From: Mary Cooper (marycooper@aol.com)
Sent: Thu 2/25/10 6:09 PM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
Sheldon,
I was going though my email account earlier and I reread your last message to me. What did you mean son about “initiating physcial contact” with Penny? I'll drag you back here by your ear if it was anything dishonorable. I'll also send you a book of baby names.
Mom
---
From: missy (dallascowgirl1980@hotmail.com)
Sent: Fri 2/26/10 8:55 PM
To: Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. (slcooper@cit.edu)
I hope you know Shelly that not answering mom is about as telling as anything you can send her in an email
---
2/27/10
http://www.PersonalizationMall.com
Item #4954
Order #811099
To:
Dr. Sheldon Cooper
Department of Theoretical Physics
1200 East California Blvd
Pasadena, CA 91125
From:
Anonymous
Attached Message (optional):
Congrats on the engagement, Penny and Sheldon!
---
To: Wesley Cooper
1782 Broadway Ave
Galveston, TX 77554
2/28/2010
Dear Wesley:
Thank you for the personalized pillowcase set and the false message. You made me realize why I had avoided corresponding with my family in the past.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD
---
Crossposted @ sheldon_penny