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[graygermain]

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Haaa… Monty Python = Goodtimez.


AKA: "Not ok, Cupid." or "Yes, I am that kind of internet person."

Remember The Spark? Spark Match? So, I joined Spark Match back in the day for shits and giggles, and it turned into OkCupid… would anyone like to read how I propositioned for a one night stand by some jackoff on OkCupid? It's too funny not to share:

[11:18:35 pm]LordAsh:hi

[11:18:28 pm]SnarkyBat:Hello

[11:18:35 pm]LordAsh:how is it going

[11:20:31 pm]SnarkyBat:Fairly well, yourself?

[11:20:41 pm]LordAsh:fairy well too

[11:22:10 pm]SnarkyBat:Always a good thing

[11:22:16 pm]LordAsh::)

[11:22:27 pm]LordAsh:i am visiting the town

[11:22:34 pm]LordAsh:i be here till monday

[11:23:34 pm]SnarkyBat:Ah, well, I hope you have fun.

[11:24:26 pm]LordAsh:yep it is fun

[11:24:31 pm]LordAsh:wanna show me around the town ?

[11:24:57 pm]SnarkyBat:Unfortunately I am already booked up this weekend. Sorry.

[11:25:39 pm]LordAsh:what about a one night ?

[11:25:52 pm]LordAsh:and you dont need to put. after swearing at me

[11:26:43 pm]SnarkyBat:I'm not sure I understand.

[11:27:12 pm]LordAsh:mmm, one night means . having sex once.

[11:28:05 pm]SnarkyBat:Ah, ok, then I understand perfectly. Thank you
for the offer, but I politely decline.

[11:28:15 pm]LordAsh:oh wow

[11:28:19 pm]LordAsh:too polite !

[11:28:34 pm]LordAsh:i use to be that polite when i was living at oxford

[11:28:47 pm]LordAsh:but since i moved to US and saw how rude people
are , iam turning to one

[11:29:03 pm]SnarkyBat:They let you leave Oxford with this level of
writing skill?

[11:29:22 pm]LordAsh:yep, it is called chatting

[11:29:33 pm]LordAsh:not writting a book ..

[11:29:52 pm]LordAsh:i was at oxford uni for 6 years

[11:30:08 pm]LordAsh:oh and u should hear the street language u
wouldnt be able to undrestand a word lol

[11:31:00 pm]LordAsh:but thanks for putting me down !

[11:31:15 pm]LordAsh:you had to express your anger over my rude sex
request somehow

[11:31:18 pm]SnarkyBat:I don't know about that, I'm usually very good
at figuring out accents.

[11:31:43 pm]LordAsh:it is not accents , it is the slangs you wont undrestand !

[11:31:53 pm]SnarkyBat:Well, it was only a little put down.

[11:32:00 pm]LordAsh:stop acting smart ... i am as smart but in different field

[11:32:22 pm]LordAsh:in fact writting is requered any intelligence ,it
is a skill any stupid person can be a writter

[11:32:27 pm]SnarkyBat:I am sure you are, and I'm not acting smart, I
am smart. What field?

[11:32:50 pm]LordAsh:i am a programmer.

[11:34:04 pm]SnarkyBat:Ah, well, good for you. My sister is also a
programmer, but she can speak in complete sentences. :)

[11:34:24 pm]LordAsh:Sigh !

[11:34:40 pm]LordAsh:correct one of my sentences please.. to prove your point

I actually signed off after my last IM just to get away from him, but I went back to copy/paste it, because my description would not have done it justice, and he had IMed two more things. Needless to say I do not feel obligated to correct his atrocious spelling or grammar, and I blocked him. The one that gets me most is "stop acting smart" and "in fact writting is requered any intelligence ,it is a skill any stupid person can be a writter." Notice how I was totally polite, and he treated me like I wasn't behaving like the dumb girl I should be.

Heh… I really do attract the crème de la crème…

(1:11:17 am)bowales:hello there....
(1:12:09 am)SnarkyBat:Hello.
(1:12:21 am)bowales:how are you doing???
(1:12:39 am)SnarkyBat:Fairly well, yourself?
(1:13:06 am)bowales:am good...
(1:13:14 am)bowales:my name is Bow???
(1:13:16 am)bowales:yours
(1:13:56 am)SnarkyBat:You're asking me if your name is Bow?
(1:14:13 am)bowales:no i mean whats your name
(1:15:36 am)SnarkyBat:Jezibelle.
(1:15:51 am)bowales:Jezzybell????
(1:16:02 am)bowales:wow thats sound satanic....lol
(1:17:30 am)SnarkyBat:You flatterer.
(1:17:43 am)SnarkyBat:How can I help you this evening?
(1:17:48 am)bowales:hmmm nah....
(1:17:59 am)bowales:well u could help me by me getting to know more bout you
(1:18:49 am)SnarkyBat:You've read my profile I assume.
(1:26:07 am)bowales:hmmmm npt yet
(1:26:10 am)bowales:let me check

And that was the last I ever heard from Dear Bow. Better to have loved and lost, I always say.

I had a good day. I went and walked along the beach with my mom and her big goofy chocolate lab, then drove over the Golden Gate bridge, through San Francisco, and to the nearest Dutch store, in San Jose, where we bought boerenkaas, stroopewaffles and hagelslag among other things. :)