Fic: When Life Gives You Lemons

Nov 22, 2007 13:55

Title: When Life Gives You Lemons
Fandom: The Office
Pairing: Toby/Ryan
Rating: PG
Summary: Left behind on another company outing, Toby commiserates with Ryan over their frustration with Michael and the unexpected turns that life takes.
Spoilers: 4x01 "Fun Run"


“Why the hell haven’t you answered my calls?”

Toby found himself very surprised to hear Ryan Howard’s voice; it was rare for anyone from Corporate to visit the Scranton Branch. Well, Jan had visited arguably too often, but she had ulterior motives that had nothing to do with company business. But that certainly couldn’t be the reason that Ryan was visiting Toby. Although… Toby quickly pushed the thought from his mind on the grounds that it was utterly ridiculous. Ryan and Toby were both fine upstanding heterosexual gentlemen, and despite what may or may not have happened during a moment of drunken passion one night in the men’s room at Poor Richard’s (and then again a few days later in the backseat of Ryan’s brand new Chevrolet Cobalt) their relationship was strictly of the professional nature. Any former trysts aside (whether they actually happened or not), the angry tone in Ryan’s voice indicated that he hadn’t come to Scranton for some afternoon delight.

Turning around in his chair, Toby gave Ryan a confused shrug, “You haven’t called me.”

“Toby,” Ryan’s tone softened as a confused look spread across his face, “what are you doing in Michael’s office?”

Ah, of course. The only reason a corporate manager would make the two-and-a-half hour drive to Scranton would be to see the regional manager, whose office Toby just happened to be sitting in. Michael Scott would have strongly and loudly objected to this fact, but he, and in fact the entire office staff with the exception of Toby, was not currently present. Having been left behind once again and upon deciding that there were only so many times a man could play FreeCell before completely losing his mind, Toby thought it best to make the most of his alone time by exploring the rest of the office.

“Michael isn’t here,” he offered by way of explanation.

“Office retreat?” Ryan sighed at the all too familiar behavior of his former boss and current subordinate. When Toby answered with a solemn nod, he followed up with, “Where did they go this time?”

“Carnival.”

“How is that in any way at all related to the paper business?”

Toby felt a tinge of despair as he recalled Michael’s grand speech earlier that day, “He said that it would show us how to work together like a cohesive unit and make the most of our resources, the way that carnies come together to build rides from ramshackle construction equipment despite being hindered by their inbred nature.”

Ryan rubbed his temples with the heels of his palms and dropped into one of the seats in front of Michael’s desk, “Oh, god.”

“He then individually compared everyone in the office to attractions in the freak show.”

“Oh, god.”

Toby gave a small nod, “I had three complaints before they all left.”

“He is the most frustrating human being I have ever met in my life.”

“That’s true.”

Ryan pulled out his PDA and began typing out a message, “He was supposed to be part of a teleconference with corporate today. I sent him two emails about it, but that probably explains why he didn’t know. Now I have to explain to my bosses why the Scranton branch is behind all the others. I could barely stand working in this office for three years; I don’t know how you’ve been here as long as you have.”

Toby shrugged, “When life keeps handing you lemons, despite never having expressed any interest in wanting lemons, you just eventually give up.”

Ryan smirked at Toby’s remark and opened his mouth to respond before another thought crossed his mind, “The last meeting I had with Michael, he said that someone was coming into his office and rearranging his drawers so that he couldn’t ever find anything. He was pretty vocal in accusing you of it.”

A sheepish grin spread across Toby’s face, “He shouldn’t keep leaving me alone.”

Ryan continued to smile, an all too rare sight for him, and Toby felt a sense of relief wash over him. He had been worried that there was a distinct possibility that interactions with Ryan would become insufferably awkward, and he was very pleased to find that wasn’t the case. If anything, he felt more comfortable with Ryan than he ever had before, just sitting in Michael’s office and sharing their mutual annoyance and frustration with the man. He was perfectly willing to write any chance encounters off as a drunken mistake, albeit one he had made twice, and just get on with his life.

Ryan leaned back in his chair and looked around the empty office, “Michael say how long they’d be gone?”

“At least another two hours.”

“Alright,” Ryan got up from his chair to shut the door to the office. Turning around to face Toby, he arched one eyebrow suggestively, “Wanna fool around on Michael’s desk?”

The question completely hit Toby by surprise. There was no build up, no intense feelings of sexual frustration to blame the action on, and they were both blind stinking sober. There was no real excuse take Ryan up on his offer, especially not on Michael Scott’s desk of all places. Still, Toby found himself more than a little intrigued by the idea. “Yeah, okay.”

Toby felt an uncomfortable level of arousal building up in himself as Ryan leaned across the desk to undo his tie, “So what kind of freak were you?”

Swallowing, he gripped his hands on the chair’s armrests to keep himself steady, “Legless dog.”

Ryan gave a mischievous grin as he finished with Toby’s tie and idly tossed it behind him, “That’s not sexy at all.”

He wasn’t entirely sure what he was getting himself into, but Toby thought that the next time Michael instigated an office outing, he might just volunteer to stay behind.

fanfiction, fandom: the office, pairing: toby/ryan

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