original fic: post-modern love letters
post-modern love letters
i hate you. i love you. whatever.
r; image from indexed
1.
You need to shave more. Kissing you…well…it’s a bit like kissing a thorn bush. You expect me to shave. So, as all’s fair in love and war…
PS. The shaving foam I brought you for Christmas was a hint, not an amusing evening with the cat.
2.
Please could you remember to put the toilet lid down in future? It's not much to ask.
Actually, could you remember to put it up in the first place?
3.
Have you ever heard of foreplay? Or is my sexual satisfaction out of the question?
Was it even in the question in the first place?
4.
Thank you for taking me to the theatre last night.
Next time, can you avoid wanking yourself to sleep by the interval? She wasn’t that pretty.
5.
I hate you.
I love you.
Whatever.
end.