Seven Days /// Saturday: How to love
“Don’t come and pick me up!”
Jin frowned, as he held the mobile between his ear and shoulder, washing his bowl. “Okay?”
“I’ll come to yours in about fifteen minutes”, Kazuya said at the other end of the line. “Don’t show up close to our place.”
“I probably shouldn’t”, the older one asked, as he put the bowl back and turned, leaning against the sink, “but may I ask who is trying to kill me?”
Kazuya laughed. “No one. But I told my parents you’re sick.”
“I’m feeling well. Why would you tell something like that?”
“Because I haven’t been at school and not home, either. So, yesterday, when I came home, I told them you were all alone at home and terribly sick and I needed to take care of you.”
“You’re such a good boy”, Jin commented. “If they just knew you’re a filthy liar.”
“I didn’t lie about where I was and the fact that you were all alone”, Kazuya countered.
“Well, in that case, the rest is basically true, too.”
“See.”
Jin could even hear that cheeky smile in Kazuya’s voice and it made him shiver a bit, as he realized that. “I’ll see you later then.”
Kazuya ended the phone call and Jin hung up, as well, tilting his head back and closing his eyes.
It went too well. The way he fell in love so rushed and yet gradually was scaring him. He’d never been in love before, Jin figured now. He’d never felt as intense and strong for anyone else before.
The way he was longing to see Kazuya was confusing. Jin wanted to just have him around at any time. When he woke up this morning, the first thing on his mind had been Kazuya and how nice it had been to wake up next to him the day before.
At least the second time, Jin thought and smiled.
In a way, Kazuya was so very pure and innocent and completely different from everyone Jin had met before. He was positive and cheerful, smart and at times childish.
But actually, all masks and acts aside, Kazuya was quite grown up already. The way he thought about them, about love and relationships wasn’t the way a teenager would think of it.
Jin frowned slightly as he got back to his room to get his things ready.
He wondered what had happened to Kazuya before, why he was that serious and even careful when it came to relationships.
Jin had found already that Kazuya had gone through the same as he had. Being reduced to his face, his nice appearance, his perfect image. That was hard, but Jin somehow sensed it wasn’t the reason for Kazuya being so protective of himself.
He had refused Jin’s first try to kiss him and there must have been a reason.
After all, Kazuya had given in and he was with Jin now, kissed him back and Jin knew the younger one enjoyed it and actually wanted it, too. But there was something more to that; no matter how Jin looked at it, Kazuya had gone through something pretty hurting before.
What was quite sad, if he considered the boy was only sixteen. You shouldn’t have been through a serious heartbreak in that age.
But, Jin thought, as he changed into other clothes, this way he wouldn’t be the first to break Kazuya’s heart.
It was rather cruel to think of that, but Jin wasn’t sure if he could maintain what they had. After all, he would have to break up with Kazuya the next day, and in a way, he was glad Kazuya expected him to.
They had agreed on this and they would end it that way.
Pausing for a moment, Jin looked at his own reflection in the mirror and coursed through his teeth.
Whom did he try to fool? He had tried to tell himself that he would break up all night long.
But it was difficult; after all, this time it had gone just the way he had always wanted it to. Kazuya had gotten through him, had gotten a hold of his heart and now it was too late to pull back again.
He was in love; that was for certain and even if there were risks to it, Jin didn’t see why he should let go of it again.
He should, just because it was safer, but he couldn’t.
He didn’t want to let Kazuya go again. His search had come to an end with this and breaking up would make no sense.
Palming his face, Jin sighed.
It was complicated, since Kazuya didn’t seem as if he wanted this to go on. It seemed, for Kazuya the whole thing was still just a game, a way to show Jin how things could end so very painfully for him, as well.
But Kazuya couldn’t have any emotions for him at all. He had kissed Jin back, after all, he cared for the older one and Jin didn’t think that all of that could be an act.
He would convince Kazuya that he was serious about them, that they couldn’t break up and then, he would come to school on Monday morning together with Kazuya and all that farce about dating someone else each week would come to an end.
Jin smiled slightly, as he heard the door bell ring. Out of all people, he had fallen for a boy. Just a week ago, he wouldn’t have ever thought so.
As he opened the door and saw Kazuya smiling at him, he felt relaxed and automatically smiled back, though.
For a moment, Jin didn’t know if he should lean in and kiss the younger one. It had felt so natural the day before, but now it suddenly felt strange.
Kazuya took the decision off of him, however, as he stepped forward and pecked Jin’s lips quickly, before he got in.
“You shouldn’t kiss me; you could contract my awful disease.”
Kazuya laughed. “I told my parents I’d go to Yokohama today to visit Tegoshi.”
“You have to lie to meet up with me?” Jin frowned, as he went upstairs again, making sure Kazuya followed him. They got to his room and the younger boy sat down on Jin’s bed. They both knew it was, because he couldn’t possibly tell them he had a date with another boy.
“What do you want to do today”, he asked then.
Jin blinked. “You decide.”
Smiling, Kazuya got up from the bed and over to Jin. He looked at him for a moment, scanned him from head to feet. He wore baggy jeans again, and a plain brown shirt, an open blue sweater. Kazuya smiled as he reached out his hand to have a closer look at the plain silver necklace. “This is not going the way it usually goes, Jin. We do what you want to do.”
“Why would we”, Jin asked, letting Kazuya play with the necklace’s black pendant.
“Because you always just do what your date wants to do. So, today, you can decide.”
Jin looked at Kazuya for a while, then he raised his hand and brushed a single strand from the younger one’s forehead, combed it back. Kazuya smiled at him and then pulled Jin closer by the necklace, until their lips met.
In that moment, Jin knew at the latest that all his thoughts and worries over the past night had been in vain. When he kissed Kazuya, things just seemed so right; there was no way, he would be able to let go again.
He’d better hold on to that boy; he made Jin feel good and that was most important.
“In that case”, Jin answered then and drew back. “We’d better make sure you didn’t lie to your parents completely.”
Kazuya blinked at him. “Huh?”
“We’ll go to Yokohama.”
“What?”
Jin nodded and took his mobile, butting it to his pocket, before he reached out for Kazuya’s hand and pulled him down and out of the house.
“You really want to go to Yokohama now?” Kazuya followed him outside, automatically pulling his hand back.
Jin let it slip. He wouldn’t mind holding Kazuya’s hand in public, but he could understand the younger one didn’t want it.
After all, they were both boys and people here would stare at them, talk about it. He’d have to work hard to make Kazuya get used to that.
“I haven’t been there in quite some time.”
Kazuya didn’t answer to that, he just walked next to Jin wordlessly, until they reached the station.
Jin sat down, leaving space for Kazuya next to him, but the younger one remained standing next to him, leaning against the wall behind him.
“We’re lucky, the next train’s coming in about five minutes”, Jin noticed and Kazuya nodded.
Throwing him a look, Jin wondered what was wrong, but he didn’t know how to ask. Instead, he kept silent, watched the other people.
When the train arrived, they sat next to each other, in an almost empty carriage.
“So, you lived in Yokohama before”, Jin asked after a while.
Kazuya nodded. “For about two years.”
“You can show me around then. Where you lived and where you went to school and such.”
“Don’t you just want to go to the usual places”, the younger one wanted to know and glanced at Jin. “Harbour, Chinatown and so on?”
“I decide, you said”, Jin reminded him and smiled. “And I decide I want to know more about you.”
“I don’t know that much about you, either.”
“But you’ve already seen the place I grew up. Since I have always lived in that town.”
“I didn’t grow up in Yokohama”, Kazuya answered. “I just spent another part of my life there.”
Jin turned to him with a compassionate look.
“Don’t look like that.” The brunette tried to laugh it off. “It’s not that bad, really.”
Jin smiled. “Let’s just enjoy the day, okay?”
Nodding, the usual cheerful expression got back to Kazuya’s face. “I’ll show you around then.”
They didn’t talk much more for the rest of the time in the train, until they arrived. The weather was bright, warm and Kazuya pulled off the light jacket he wore. There was a slight breeze from the sea, making the warmth of the sun bearable.
Kazuya walked ahead in the station, full of plans of where to go and Jin followed him. Turning, the younger one pointed at an exit. “Lets take that one, we’ll get directly to the harbour then.”
“So, we’re going to the harbour after all?” Jin laughed, walking up the stairs.
“Sure”, Kazuya answered. “You can’t come to Yokohama and leave out this part.”
“Did you live somewhere close here?”
They left the station and Kazuya shook his head. “No, further in town. Shall we go there first?”
Jin nodded and Kazuya guided him over a street to a quieter part of the city. They didn’t walk long and Kazuya told Jin some episodes from the time he spent there.
“This is the part we lived in. It’s pretty normal, I guess.”
Walking next to Kazuya, Jin looked at the houses. Everything seemed small and rather familiar to the town they lived in now.
He saw Kazuya looking up to a house in front of them and turned to see it, too. Kazuya’s eyes looked rather sad, seeing at that place.
“Is this where you lived?”
“Down that street” Kazuya shook his head and pointed to their right, “that white house with the garden in front; that’s were I lived.”
Jin automatically walked down to have a closer look and Kazuya followed him. They stood in front of the house and Jin saw the flowers in the garden, blooming and pretty. A window was open and he could see plants and china-figures at the window sill.
“It’s pretty.”
Kazuya laughed slightly. “It’s a house as every other.”
“But it does look like a family place.”
“That’s what it is”, Kazuya answered and nodded. Then he turned away. “But the place we live at now is pretty nice, too.”
“Sure”, Jin said and turned, as well.
“I’m not actually missing this place. I am happy where I am now.” Kazuya looked at Jin over his shoulder, smiled contently.
Jin caught up on him. “Was the school close?”
“It’s not far; we usually left home five minutes before school began. If you run, you can make it in about three minutes.”
“We?”
“Tegoshi and me.” Kazuya pointed at a house at the other side of the street. “We always went to school together.”
“Ah, he lives here, too.” Jin looked at the house. “Do you want to say hello?”
The younger one shook his head. “Not today. He wouldn’t let us go again.”
“I am okay with that, if you want to see him.”
“No, I came here to spent time with you, after all”, Kazuya said.
Jin smiled and gathered the courage to take Kazuya’s hand into his, squeezing it slightly.
They rounded a corner and reached the school. Kazuya’s grip on Jin’s hand got a little tighter and he narrowed his eyes as he watched the yard.
“What’s wrong?”
Kazuya shook his head quickly. “Nothing. It just holds a lot of memories.”
Walking ahead and pulling Kazuya along, Jin made his way closer to it. “Tell me some.”
“I think I don’t want to.”
Jin stopped and turned to the other one, blinking. “Why not? Are they that bad?”
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t really like remembering that time.”
Pulling Kazuya closer by his hand, the older boy tilted his head. “Why? What happened here?”
He already knew that this probably was the core to Kazuya’s fear and caution when it came to love, to what just developed between them, so Jin wasn’t really surprised, as Kazuya just shook his head.
It was probably too early for that, Jin thought and did what came to his mind first: he placed a soft kiss to Kazuya’s forehead, making the younger one look at him in surprise.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to”, Kazuya said immediately. “I just don’t…”
“I said it’s okay, Kazuya”, Jin repeated and threw another glance at the school. “I’ve seen the place, that’s enough. Let’s go somewhere else.”
Kazuya smiled, before he pecked Jin’s lips and moved on, walking back the street they had come from.
“I need to eat something. Is there a good place to eat nearby”, Jin changed the topic, after a few seconds of silence. He wanted the day to be good, so he wouldn’t let those memories get in the way of that. He’d distract Kazuya, Jin decided.
“Oh, there are plenty. A lot of Chinese places, of course, but there are a few other good restaurants around. If we go down there and then walk down the street at the other side…”
Kazuya stopped and his hand in Jin’s became stiff, before he quickly pulled it away, staring in front of them.
Jin took his gaze off of Kazuya’s face and looked into the direction of Kazuya’s gaze.
“Kazuya?” She stood still for a few more seconds, then she moved toward them.
A pretty girl, Jin thought. Long hair in smooth black, and round, dark eyes. Her mouth was small and full and she looked rather delicate. A girl that looked like she needed to be protected, in Jin’s mind.
Jin looked at Kazuya, as he bowed his head, mumbled politely: “Nice to see you.”
“It’s nice to see you! How have you been?” She looked excited.
“I’m fine, thanks. I hope everything’s okay in your case?”
She nodded, the long black hair luffing on her shoulders. “I am doing well. What leads you here?”
Kazuya swallowed thickly and couldn’t even look at her, that’s why Jin decided to take over. “He’s showing me around”, he said with a kind smile. “I’m a friend.”
“Oh”, she said and looked closer at Jin. “So you made good friends there already.”
Kazuya nodded. “We’re just friends.”
Jin would not have needed any more proof to find his suspicion confirmed. So, that was the girl who had broken Kazuya’s heart so badly. She was the reason Kazuya was so uncertain and careful.
And probably the reason the memories of his time here were so unpleasant.
Jin saw her looking at Kazuya’s hand again, which he still held in his other, as if to hold himself back. Because he had held Jin’s before.
He didn’t want her to know. But Jin was quite sure she had seen it.
“Well, then, I don’t want to keep you any longer. Did you see Tegoshi?”
Kazuya shook his head. “No, not today.”
“He visited Kazuya just a few weeks ago”, Jin clarified, pained by only the view of Kazuya’s uncertainness. He wanted to do something to take that hurt impression from the younger one’s face.
“Ah, is that so”, she asked and smiled. “I don’t have much time, but it was nice seeing you again, Kazuya.”
“Yeah, nice to see you…” He pulled off a smile, managed to keep it up, until she disappeared into the house. Jin recognized it as the one, Kazuya had gazed at before.
For a moment, an awkward silence lay between them and Jin didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t anything to say, he had figured enough for himself already.
Probably, Jin thought and it crossed his mind for the first time, he had fallen in love with someone who had attached his heart to someone else; who just looked for distraction of the pain it brought to be not able to be close to the one he really loved.
He had been stupid to fall in love with someone who was in just as much distress as he was. He had known that from the beginning, so why had he ended up here, anyway?
Biting his lip, Jin made a step forward, took Kazuya’s shoulders and waited until the younger one looked at him.
“Don’t be that weak”, Jin said firmly.
Kazuya bit his teeth together and shook his head. “I am not.”
“You couldn’t even look at her.”
“She…” He didn’t finish what he was about to say. Instead, he looked down again.
“Kazuya, what happened between the both of you?”
Shaking his head, Kazuya tried to step back, but Jin held on to his shoulders more firmly. “I don’t want you to know.”
“Why? What did she do?” Jin remained persistent.
“It’s none of your business, so just…”
That was how far he got with that, since then Jin just pulled him into a kiss. It was to silence him, but somehow also, to pull him back into reality. Into where he was now, what he had now.
Jin took complete control that time around, didn’t even leave Kazuya any chance to take over. He pulled him closer, tugged his head back at Kazuya’s hair and deepened the kiss, before he let got.
Kazuya swallowed thickly, lips slightly more red than before and he blushed. “What was that for?”
“She’s over, no matter what happened.” Jin’s look was stern and he took Kazuya’s hand back into his. “Until tomorrow, you’re still dating me, so it is my business.”
Kazuya looked down again and bit his lip to hold back a laugh. “I know. I am sorry.”
“You’d better be”, Jin answered and pulled him to his side, as they walked on, not letting go of Kazuya’s hand.
He looked back at the house, saw the girl standing at the window; watching them. Jin had known she would and he hoped she had seen everything perfectly clearly.
Making sure Kazuya wouldn’t notice her, too, he kept the other boy’s attention to himself.
Jin wasn’t sure where that feeling of possession came from and why it was that strong, but he had to act on it.
Even if it should only last until Sunday evening; until then, Kazuya was his.
Despite that scene, the day went pretty smoothly.
Kazuya found back to his usual self pretty quickly, and Jin couldn’t quite tell how much of that was an act and how much was real. But he was happy to see him smile again and being cheerful and kinky.
Kazuya had shown him around town and now they sat at the harbour, having ice cream.
To tease Kazuya a bit, Jin leaned in, as he didn’t look and tasted from the brunette’s. “Avocado’s not bad, either.”
Kazuya turned his head back to Jin and gasped. “I didn’t allow you to eat my ice cream.”
“You can taste mine in return”, Jin offered and held out his cone for Kazuya.
The younger one lifted an eyebrow and then, watching Jin precisely, he licked the ice cream. “I hate strawberry ice cream.”
Laughing, the older one pulled back. “Why did you even try it then?”
“It’s just fair.”
“I suppose so.” Jin leaned against the step behind him, watching the water. The sun was setting already. “We’ll have to go back soon.”
Nodding, Kazuya watched it, as well. “Can I make one request?”
Jin raised a brow. “Of course.”
“I want to take a round in the Ferris wheel.”
Jin smiled. “That’s a must for the perfect date, isn’t it?”
“I think so.”
“In that case”, he said and got up holding out his hand to help Kazuya, “we better get going.”
They walked along the esplanade, finishing their ice cream, talking and joking childishly.
Kazuya was amazed by how Jin accepted him so easily. He treated him just as before, didn’t ask and was just so damn kind to him. How came, Jin wasn’t curious about the story? Why wasn’t he hurt for Kazuya pulling away from him?
Probably, the whole thing had remained a game for Jin and he didn’t see it as serious as Kazuya did.
He wouldn’t have come back. Every scene of this town held so many memories for Kazuya and all of them where painful.
But with Jin, he had thought he could make it, overcome it. If she hadn’t showed up, it would have worked, most likely.
Jin was a rather good distraction. He could make new memories here; that’s why he wanted to go to every place that held those painful memories and replace them with cheerful ones.
Probably the worst to face was yet to come.
They got to the amusement park and since it was Saturday and nice weather there were a lot of people, but it didn’t take long for them to get into an enclosure of the Ferris wheel.
Sitting across from each other, they stared outside, watching the bay and the streets beneath them sinking into darkness, as the sun dipped into the water.
A voice was telling facts about the Ferries wheel and when it stopped, Kazuya swallowed thickly, taking in the silence between them.
“It’s been just about three months that I spent a day like this.”
Jin looked from the view to Kazuya.
“We spent a Saturday like this and it felt like a date to me.” Kazuya smiled sadly. “She’s always been the only one who didn’t just look at my face, who just looked at me, saw me.”
Not quite sure what to say, Jin kept silent.
“I thought she was really special, and I thought she really liked me, too.” Kazuya swallowed again, his eyes sternly directed at the horizon. “That Saturday, I confessed to her. We finished the day with a ride in here. And I really thought it’d be clever to use the situation to confess.”
“She turned you down”, Jin concluded quietly.
Kazuya nodded. “She said we were just friends and that she was sorry. It was really awkward.” He laughed slightly. “I’ve been in love with her from the very first moment I met her. I was sure something like love at first sight existed when we met.”
“But it only works when it hits the other one just as hard.” Jin sighed and leaned in, taking Kazuya’s hand, pulling him over to his side.
“It only works then, yes”, the younger one agreed and pressed his lips together, looking at their hands. “I am sorry for ruining everything, but I thought I should probably tell you.”
“Nothing’s ruined”, Jin said and shook his head slightly. “I am glad you decided to tell me.”
Kazuya only nodded and then took Jin’s other hand, before he kissed him.
They remained silent after that, enjoyed the view, while occasionally exchanging kisses and looks. Jin put his arms around Kazuya’s shoulders from behind and pulled him close, brushing kisses to his ear and hair.
When they left again, it was already dark outside and it had cooled down. Kazuya pulled over his jacket again and they calmly walked back to the station.
The train was empty, it was pretty late already and they both sat at the far end in the carriage, Kazuya’s head at Jin’s shoulder and Jin’s head leaned against the younger one’s.
They held hands and somehow it felt so reassuring, so calm and just natural, that both of them fell asleep.
Jin woke up first and noticed they had just one more station to their one, so he gently squeezed Kazuya’s hand, juggled his shoulder.
Kazuya blinked his eyes open and looked around, noticed they were almost there and stretched.
Together, they walked back from the station and Kazuya frowned at the route Jin took. They came to his home first and Jin stopped.
“You’re bringing me home”, Kazuya asked and frowned deeply.
Jin nodded slightly, rubbing Kazuya’s hand between his. “It’s late.”
“Your mom is not there, you could just…”
Shaking his head, Jin let go of a shaky breath. “I can’t.”
Kazuya looked at their hands and bit his lip again. “I should not have assumed…”, he trailed off and blushed.
Jin embraced him and as he noticed the other boy’s lips finding his, Kazuya automatically held him in return and answered to the kiss.
He yelped slightly, when he noticed the heat in it, the hot shivers it rushed through their bodies. He tensed and responded with just as much passion, noticing Jin’s grip on his waist getting tighter.
“I wouldn’t be able to hold back”, Jin said breathlessly, when they finally pulled apart.
Kazuya licked his lips and leaned in again, robbing Jin another kiss. “Then don’t. I don’t want you to.”
Jin groaned into it, but then drew back, held Kazuya back from getting close again. “I want to”, he simply said and smiled at Kazuya’s pout. “Don’t tempt me.”
Kazuya nodded after a moment, but didn’t look happy at all.
Jin took a breath and then slightly pecked the younger one’s lips once more. “Good night, Kazuya.”
Letting go of Jin’s hand, Kazuya pressed his lips together, watched him leaving.
Deep inside, he still wondered what would have happened if he had confessed to Jin in the Ferris wheel earlier. If he would have had to face yet another turn down or if Jin would have returned his feelings.
It went well; they did well.
It was the second time Kazuya was really in love, and again, he had fallen head over heels. But, he thought and slightly brushed his lips with his fingertips, this time was different.
It was stronger.
Only the way, Jin had looked at him all day long, had kissed him, held him and just how he had brought up so much understanding was replacing every bad feeling.
Meeting the girl he had once loved so much, it didn’t seem as hurting anymore; it even seemed distant and less important.
If he would lose that again, if Jin would turn him down, would reject his feelings, Kazuya was sure he would be hurt even more.
He wouldn’t be able to take that, at all.
Tomorrow, he thought and turned to walk in, was the deciding day; the day he would have to face reality.
He closed the door behind himself and saw his parents cleaning the restaurant. They greeted him home and Kazuya took a deep breath.
“Mom, Dad”, he said firmly. “About Tokyo; I need to talk to you once more.”
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Thank you so much for reading ♥♥♥ I am sorry it's still so cheesy and... mah, I don't really like this one, but it was necessary for future updates.... I can't predict how many more chaps are following, but there's quite much more to come.
Recent happenings are not making everyone happy, as I noticed, but this will hopefully cheer you up. They are SO in love XD Yay!
Jin frowned, as he held the mobile between his ear and shoulder, washing his bowl. “Okay?”
“I’ll come to yours in about fifteen minutes”, Kazuya said at the other end of the line. “Don’t show up close to our place.”
“I probably shouldn’t”, the older one asked, as he put the bowl back and turned, leaning against the sink, “but may I ask who is trying to kill me?”
Kazuya laughed. “No one. But I told my parents you’re sick.”
“I’m feeling well. Why would you tell something like that?”
“Because I haven’t been at school and not home, either. So, yesterday, when I came home, I told them you were all alone at home and terribly sick and I needed to take care of you.”
“You’re such a good boy”, Jin commented. “If they just knew you’re a filthy liar.”
“I didn’t lie about where I was and the fact that you were all alone”, Kazuya countered.
“Well, in that case, the rest is basically true, too.”
“See.”
Jin could even hear that cheeky smile in Kazuya’s voice and it made him shiver a bit, as he realized that. “I’ll see you later then.”
Kazuya ended the phone call and Jin hung up, as well, tilting his head back and closing his eyes.
It went too well. The way he fell in love so rushed and yet gradually was scaring him. He’d never been in love before, Jin figured now. He’d never felt as intense and strong for anyone else before.
The way he was longing to see Kazuya was confusing. Jin wanted to just have him around at any time. When he woke up this morning, the first thing on his mind had been Kazuya and how nice it had been to wake up next to him the day before.
At least the second time, Jin thought and smiled.
In a way, Kazuya was so very pure and innocent and completely different from everyone Jin had met before. He was positive and cheerful, smart and at times childish.
But actually, all masks and acts aside, Kazuya was quite grown up already. The way he thought about them, about love and relationships wasn’t the way a teenager would think of it.
Jin frowned slightly as he got back to his room to get his things ready.
He wondered what had happened to Kazuya before, why he was that serious and even careful when it came to relationships.
Jin had found already that Kazuya had gone through the same as he had. Being reduced to his face, his nice appearance, his perfect image. That was hard, but Jin somehow sensed it wasn’t the reason for Kazuya being so protective of himself.
He had refused Jin’s first try to kiss him and there must have been a reason.
After all, Kazuya had given in and he was with Jin now, kissed him back and Jin knew the younger one enjoyed it and actually wanted it, too. But there was something more to that; no matter how Jin looked at it, Kazuya had gone through something pretty hurting before.
What was quite sad, if he considered the boy was only sixteen. You shouldn’t have been through a serious heartbreak in that age.
But, Jin thought, as he changed into other clothes, this way he wouldn’t be the first to break Kazuya’s heart.
It was rather cruel to think of that, but Jin wasn’t sure if he could maintain what they had. After all, he would have to break up with Kazuya the next day, and in a way, he was glad Kazuya expected him to.
They had agreed on this and they would end it that way.
Pausing for a moment, Jin looked at his own reflection in the mirror and coursed through his teeth.
Whom did he try to fool? He had tried to tell himself that he would break up all night long.
But it was difficult; after all, this time it had gone just the way he had always wanted it to. Kazuya had gotten through him, had gotten a hold of his heart and now it was too late to pull back again.
He was in love; that was for certain and even if there were risks to it, Jin didn’t see why he should let go of it again.
He should, just because it was safer, but he couldn’t.
He didn’t want to let Kazuya go again. His search had come to an end with this and breaking up would make no sense.
Palming his face, Jin sighed.
It was complicated, since Kazuya didn’t seem as if he wanted this to go on. It seemed, for Kazuya the whole thing was still just a game, a way to show Jin how things could end so very painfully for him, as well.
But Kazuya couldn’t have any emotions for him at all. He had kissed Jin back, after all, he cared for the older one and Jin didn’t think that all of that could be an act.
He would convince Kazuya that he was serious about them, that they couldn’t break up and then, he would come to school on Monday morning together with Kazuya and all that farce about dating someone else each week would come to an end.
Jin smiled slightly, as he heard the door bell ring. Out of all people, he had fallen for a boy. Just a week ago, he wouldn’t have ever thought so.
As he opened the door and saw Kazuya smiling at him, he felt relaxed and automatically smiled back, though.
For a moment, Jin didn’t know if he should lean in and kiss the younger one. It had felt so natural the day before, but now it suddenly felt strange.
Kazuya took the decision off of him, however, as he stepped forward and pecked Jin’s lips quickly, before he got in.
“You shouldn’t kiss me; you could contract my awful disease.”
Kazuya laughed. “I told my parents I’d go to Yokohama today to visit Tegoshi.”
“You have to lie to meet up with me?” Jin frowned, as he went upstairs again, making sure Kazuya followed him. They got to his room and the younger boy sat down on Jin’s bed. They both knew it was, because he couldn’t possibly tell them he had a date with another boy.
“What do you want to do today”, he asked then.
Jin blinked. “You decide.”
Smiling, Kazuya got up from the bed and over to Jin. He looked at him for a moment, scanned him from head to feet. He wore baggy jeans again, and a plain brown shirt, an open blue sweater. Kazuya smiled as he reached out his hand to have a closer look at the plain silver necklace. “This is not going the way it usually goes, Jin. We do what you want to do.”
“Why would we”, Jin asked, letting Kazuya play with the necklace’s black pendant.
“Because you always just do what your date wants to do. So, today, you can decide.”
Jin looked at Kazuya for a while, then he raised his hand and brushed a single strand from the younger one’s forehead, combed it back. Kazuya smiled at him and then pulled Jin closer by the necklace, until their lips met.
In that moment, Jin knew at the latest that all his thoughts and worries over the past night had been in vain. When he kissed Kazuya, things just seemed so right; there was no way, he would be able to let go again.
He’d better hold on to that boy; he made Jin feel good and that was most important.
“In that case”, Jin answered then and drew back. “We’d better make sure you didn’t lie to your parents completely.”
Kazuya blinked at him. “Huh?”
“We’ll go to Yokohama.”
“What?”
Jin nodded and took his mobile, butting it to his pocket, before he reached out for Kazuya’s hand and pulled him down and out of the house.
“You really want to go to Yokohama now?” Kazuya followed him outside, automatically pulling his hand back.
Jin let it slip. He wouldn’t mind holding Kazuya’s hand in public, but he could understand the younger one didn’t want it.
After all, they were both boys and people here would stare at them, talk about it. He’d have to work hard to make Kazuya get used to that.
“I haven’t been there in quite some time.”
Kazuya didn’t answer to that, he just walked next to Jin wordlessly, until they reached the station.
Jin sat down, leaving space for Kazuya next to him, but the younger one remained standing next to him, leaning against the wall behind him.
“We’re lucky, the next train’s coming in about five minutes”, Jin noticed and Kazuya nodded.
Throwing him a look, Jin wondered what was wrong, but he didn’t know how to ask. Instead, he kept silent, watched the other people.
When the train arrived, they sat next to each other, in an almost empty carriage.
“So, you lived in Yokohama before”, Jin asked after a while.
Kazuya nodded. “For about two years.”
“You can show me around then. Where you lived and where you went to school and such.”
“Don’t you just want to go to the usual places”, the younger one wanted to know and glanced at Jin. “Harbour, Chinatown and so on?”
“I decide, you said”, Jin reminded him and smiled. “And I decide I want to know more about you.”
“I don’t know that much about you, either.”
“But you’ve already seen the place I grew up. Since I have always lived in that town.”
“I didn’t grow up in Yokohama”, Kazuya answered. “I just spent another part of my life there.”
Jin turned to him with a compassionate look.
“Don’t look like that.” The brunette tried to laugh it off. “It’s not that bad, really.”
Jin smiled. “Let’s just enjoy the day, okay?”
Nodding, the usual cheerful expression got back to Kazuya’s face. “I’ll show you around then.”
They didn’t talk much more for the rest of the time in the train, until they arrived. The weather was bright, warm and Kazuya pulled off the light jacket he wore. There was a slight breeze from the sea, making the warmth of the sun bearable.
Kazuya walked ahead in the station, full of plans of where to go and Jin followed him. Turning, the younger one pointed at an exit. “Lets take that one, we’ll get directly to the harbour then.”
“So, we’re going to the harbour after all?” Jin laughed, walking up the stairs.
“Sure”, Kazuya answered. “You can’t come to Yokohama and leave out this part.”
“Did you live somewhere close here?”
They left the station and Kazuya shook his head. “No, further in town. Shall we go there first?”
Jin nodded and Kazuya guided him over a street to a quieter part of the city. They didn’t walk long and Kazuya told Jin some episodes from the time he spent there.
“This is the part we lived in. It’s pretty normal, I guess.”
Walking next to Kazuya, Jin looked at the houses. Everything seemed small and rather familiar to the town they lived in now.
He saw Kazuya looking up to a house in front of them and turned to see it, too. Kazuya’s eyes looked rather sad, seeing at that place.
“Is this where you lived?”
“Down that street” Kazuya shook his head and pointed to their right, “that white house with the garden in front; that’s were I lived.”
Jin automatically walked down to have a closer look and Kazuya followed him. They stood in front of the house and Jin saw the flowers in the garden, blooming and pretty. A window was open and he could see plants and china-figures at the window sill.
“It’s pretty.”
Kazuya laughed slightly. “It’s a house as every other.”
“But it does look like a family place.”
“That’s what it is”, Kazuya answered and nodded. Then he turned away. “But the place we live at now is pretty nice, too.”
“Sure”, Jin said and turned, as well.
“I’m not actually missing this place. I am happy where I am now.” Kazuya looked at Jin over his shoulder, smiled contently.
Jin caught up on him. “Was the school close?”
“It’s not far; we usually left home five minutes before school began. If you run, you can make it in about three minutes.”
“We?”
“Tegoshi and me.” Kazuya pointed at a house at the other side of the street. “We always went to school together.”
“Ah, he lives here, too.” Jin looked at the house. “Do you want to say hello?”
The younger one shook his head. “Not today. He wouldn’t let us go again.”
“I am okay with that, if you want to see him.”
“No, I came here to spent time with you, after all”, Kazuya said.
Jin smiled and gathered the courage to take Kazuya’s hand into his, squeezing it slightly.
They rounded a corner and reached the school. Kazuya’s grip on Jin’s hand got a little tighter and he narrowed his eyes as he watched the yard.
“What’s wrong?”
Kazuya shook his head quickly. “Nothing. It just holds a lot of memories.”
Walking ahead and pulling Kazuya along, Jin made his way closer to it. “Tell me some.”
“I think I don’t want to.”
Jin stopped and turned to the other one, blinking. “Why not? Are they that bad?”
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t really like remembering that time.”
Pulling Kazuya closer by his hand, the older boy tilted his head. “Why? What happened here?”
He already knew that this probably was the core to Kazuya’s fear and caution when it came to love, to what just developed between them, so Jin wasn’t really surprised, as Kazuya just shook his head.
It was probably too early for that, Jin thought and did what came to his mind first: he placed a soft kiss to Kazuya’s forehead, making the younger one look at him in surprise.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to”, Kazuya said immediately. “I just don’t…”
“I said it’s okay, Kazuya”, Jin repeated and threw another glance at the school. “I’ve seen the place, that’s enough. Let’s go somewhere else.”
Kazuya smiled, before he pecked Jin’s lips and moved on, walking back the street they had come from.
“I need to eat something. Is there a good place to eat nearby”, Jin changed the topic, after a few seconds of silence. He wanted the day to be good, so he wouldn’t let those memories get in the way of that. He’d distract Kazuya, Jin decided.
“Oh, there are plenty. A lot of Chinese places, of course, but there are a few other good restaurants around. If we go down there and then walk down the street at the other side…”
Kazuya stopped and his hand in Jin’s became stiff, before he quickly pulled it away, staring in front of them.
Jin took his gaze off of Kazuya’s face and looked into the direction of Kazuya’s gaze.
“Kazuya?” She stood still for a few more seconds, then she moved toward them.
A pretty girl, Jin thought. Long hair in smooth black, and round, dark eyes. Her mouth was small and full and she looked rather delicate. A girl that looked like she needed to be protected, in Jin’s mind.
Jin looked at Kazuya, as he bowed his head, mumbled politely: “Nice to see you.”
“It’s nice to see you! How have you been?” She looked excited.
“I’m fine, thanks. I hope everything’s okay in your case?”
She nodded, the long black hair luffing on her shoulders. “I am doing well. What leads you here?”
Kazuya swallowed thickly and couldn’t even look at her, that’s why Jin decided to take over. “He’s showing me around”, he said with a kind smile. “I’m a friend.”
“Oh”, she said and looked closer at Jin. “So you made good friends there already.”
Kazuya nodded. “We’re just friends.”
Jin would not have needed any more proof to find his suspicion confirmed. So, that was the girl who had broken Kazuya’s heart so badly. She was the reason Kazuya was so uncertain and careful.
And probably the reason the memories of his time here were so unpleasant.
Jin saw her looking at Kazuya’s hand again, which he still held in his other, as if to hold himself back. Because he had held Jin’s before.
He didn’t want her to know. But Jin was quite sure she had seen it.
“Well, then, I don’t want to keep you any longer. Did you see Tegoshi?”
Kazuya shook his head. “No, not today.”
“He visited Kazuya just a few weeks ago”, Jin clarified, pained by only the view of Kazuya’s uncertainness. He wanted to do something to take that hurt impression from the younger one’s face.
“Ah, is that so”, she asked and smiled. “I don’t have much time, but it was nice seeing you again, Kazuya.”
“Yeah, nice to see you…” He pulled off a smile, managed to keep it up, until she disappeared into the house. Jin recognized it as the one, Kazuya had gazed at before.
For a moment, an awkward silence lay between them and Jin didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t anything to say, he had figured enough for himself already.
Probably, Jin thought and it crossed his mind for the first time, he had fallen in love with someone who had attached his heart to someone else; who just looked for distraction of the pain it brought to be not able to be close to the one he really loved.
He had been stupid to fall in love with someone who was in just as much distress as he was. He had known that from the beginning, so why had he ended up here, anyway?
Biting his lip, Jin made a step forward, took Kazuya’s shoulders and waited until the younger one looked at him.
“Don’t be that weak”, Jin said firmly.
Kazuya bit his teeth together and shook his head. “I am not.”
“You couldn’t even look at her.”
“She…” He didn’t finish what he was about to say. Instead, he looked down again.
“Kazuya, what happened between the both of you?”
Shaking his head, Kazuya tried to step back, but Jin held on to his shoulders more firmly. “I don’t want you to know.”
“Why? What did she do?” Jin remained persistent.
“It’s none of your business, so just…”
That was how far he got with that, since then Jin just pulled him into a kiss. It was to silence him, but somehow also, to pull him back into reality. Into where he was now, what he had now.
Jin took complete control that time around, didn’t even leave Kazuya any chance to take over. He pulled him closer, tugged his head back at Kazuya’s hair and deepened the kiss, before he let got.
Kazuya swallowed thickly, lips slightly more red than before and he blushed. “What was that for?”
“She’s over, no matter what happened.” Jin’s look was stern and he took Kazuya’s hand back into his. “Until tomorrow, you’re still dating me, so it is my business.”
Kazuya looked down again and bit his lip to hold back a laugh. “I know. I am sorry.”
“You’d better be”, Jin answered and pulled him to his side, as they walked on, not letting go of Kazuya’s hand.
He looked back at the house, saw the girl standing at the window; watching them. Jin had known she would and he hoped she had seen everything perfectly clearly.
Making sure Kazuya wouldn’t notice her, too, he kept the other boy’s attention to himself.
Jin wasn’t sure where that feeling of possession came from and why it was that strong, but he had to act on it.
Even if it should only last until Sunday evening; until then, Kazuya was his.
Despite that scene, the day went pretty smoothly.
Kazuya found back to his usual self pretty quickly, and Jin couldn’t quite tell how much of that was an act and how much was real. But he was happy to see him smile again and being cheerful and kinky.
Kazuya had shown him around town and now they sat at the harbour, having ice cream.
To tease Kazuya a bit, Jin leaned in, as he didn’t look and tasted from the brunette’s. “Avocado’s not bad, either.”
Kazuya turned his head back to Jin and gasped. “I didn’t allow you to eat my ice cream.”
“You can taste mine in return”, Jin offered and held out his cone for Kazuya.
The younger one lifted an eyebrow and then, watching Jin precisely, he licked the ice cream. “I hate strawberry ice cream.”
Laughing, the older one pulled back. “Why did you even try it then?”
“It’s just fair.”
“I suppose so.” Jin leaned against the step behind him, watching the water. The sun was setting already. “We’ll have to go back soon.”
Nodding, Kazuya watched it, as well. “Can I make one request?”
Jin raised a brow. “Of course.”
“I want to take a round in the Ferris wheel.”
Jin smiled. “That’s a must for the perfect date, isn’t it?”
“I think so.”
“In that case”, he said and got up holding out his hand to help Kazuya, “we better get going.”
They walked along the esplanade, finishing their ice cream, talking and joking childishly.
Kazuya was amazed by how Jin accepted him so easily. He treated him just as before, didn’t ask and was just so damn kind to him. How came, Jin wasn’t curious about the story? Why wasn’t he hurt for Kazuya pulling away from him?
Probably, the whole thing had remained a game for Jin and he didn’t see it as serious as Kazuya did.
He wouldn’t have come back. Every scene of this town held so many memories for Kazuya and all of them where painful.
But with Jin, he had thought he could make it, overcome it. If she hadn’t showed up, it would have worked, most likely.
Jin was a rather good distraction. He could make new memories here; that’s why he wanted to go to every place that held those painful memories and replace them with cheerful ones.
Probably the worst to face was yet to come.
They got to the amusement park and since it was Saturday and nice weather there were a lot of people, but it didn’t take long for them to get into an enclosure of the Ferris wheel.
Sitting across from each other, they stared outside, watching the bay and the streets beneath them sinking into darkness, as the sun dipped into the water.
A voice was telling facts about the Ferries wheel and when it stopped, Kazuya swallowed thickly, taking in the silence between them.
“It’s been just about three months that I spent a day like this.”
Jin looked from the view to Kazuya.
“We spent a Saturday like this and it felt like a date to me.” Kazuya smiled sadly. “She’s always been the only one who didn’t just look at my face, who just looked at me, saw me.”
Not quite sure what to say, Jin kept silent.
“I thought she was really special, and I thought she really liked me, too.” Kazuya swallowed again, his eyes sternly directed at the horizon. “That Saturday, I confessed to her. We finished the day with a ride in here. And I really thought it’d be clever to use the situation to confess.”
“She turned you down”, Jin concluded quietly.
Kazuya nodded. “She said we were just friends and that she was sorry. It was really awkward.” He laughed slightly. “I’ve been in love with her from the very first moment I met her. I was sure something like love at first sight existed when we met.”
“But it only works when it hits the other one just as hard.” Jin sighed and leaned in, taking Kazuya’s hand, pulling him over to his side.
“It only works then, yes”, the younger one agreed and pressed his lips together, looking at their hands. “I am sorry for ruining everything, but I thought I should probably tell you.”
“Nothing’s ruined”, Jin said and shook his head slightly. “I am glad you decided to tell me.”
Kazuya only nodded and then took Jin’s other hand, before he kissed him.
They remained silent after that, enjoyed the view, while occasionally exchanging kisses and looks. Jin put his arms around Kazuya’s shoulders from behind and pulled him close, brushing kisses to his ear and hair.
When they left again, it was already dark outside and it had cooled down. Kazuya pulled over his jacket again and they calmly walked back to the station.
The train was empty, it was pretty late already and they both sat at the far end in the carriage, Kazuya’s head at Jin’s shoulder and Jin’s head leaned against the younger one’s.
They held hands and somehow it felt so reassuring, so calm and just natural, that both of them fell asleep.
Jin woke up first and noticed they had just one more station to their one, so he gently squeezed Kazuya’s hand, juggled his shoulder.
Kazuya blinked his eyes open and looked around, noticed they were almost there and stretched.
Together, they walked back from the station and Kazuya frowned at the route Jin took. They came to his home first and Jin stopped.
“You’re bringing me home”, Kazuya asked and frowned deeply.
Jin nodded slightly, rubbing Kazuya’s hand between his. “It’s late.”
“Your mom is not there, you could just…”
Shaking his head, Jin let go of a shaky breath. “I can’t.”
Kazuya looked at their hands and bit his lip again. “I should not have assumed…”, he trailed off and blushed.
Jin embraced him and as he noticed the other boy’s lips finding his, Kazuya automatically held him in return and answered to the kiss.
He yelped slightly, when he noticed the heat in it, the hot shivers it rushed through their bodies. He tensed and responded with just as much passion, noticing Jin’s grip on his waist getting tighter.
“I wouldn’t be able to hold back”, Jin said breathlessly, when they finally pulled apart.
Kazuya licked his lips and leaned in again, robbing Jin another kiss. “Then don’t. I don’t want you to.”
Jin groaned into it, but then drew back, held Kazuya back from getting close again. “I want to”, he simply said and smiled at Kazuya’s pout. “Don’t tempt me.”
Kazuya nodded after a moment, but didn’t look happy at all.
Jin took a breath and then slightly pecked the younger one’s lips once more. “Good night, Kazuya.”
Letting go of Jin’s hand, Kazuya pressed his lips together, watched him leaving.
Deep inside, he still wondered what would have happened if he had confessed to Jin in the Ferris wheel earlier. If he would have had to face yet another turn down or if Jin would have returned his feelings.
It went well; they did well.
It was the second time Kazuya was really in love, and again, he had fallen head over heels. But, he thought and slightly brushed his lips with his fingertips, this time was different.
It was stronger.
Only the way, Jin had looked at him all day long, had kissed him, held him and just how he had brought up so much understanding was replacing every bad feeling.
Meeting the girl he had once loved so much, it didn’t seem as hurting anymore; it even seemed distant and less important.
If he would lose that again, if Jin would turn him down, would reject his feelings, Kazuya was sure he would be hurt even more.
He wouldn’t be able to take that, at all.
Tomorrow, he thought and turned to walk in, was the deciding day; the day he would have to face reality.
He closed the door behind himself and saw his parents cleaning the restaurant. They greeted him home and Kazuya took a deep breath.
“Mom, Dad”, he said firmly. “About Tokyo; I need to talk to you once more.”
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Thank you so much for reading ♥♥♥ I am sorry it's still so cheesy and... mah, I don't really like this one, but it was necessary for future updates.... I can't predict how many more chaps are following, but there's quite much more to come.
Recent happenings are not making everyone happy, as I noticed, but this will hopefully cheer you up. They are SO in love XD Yay!