Seven Days /// Sunday: How to break a heart
Jin hated how he had lacked sleep for the whole week.
First the night he had spent at the river with Kazuya, just lying there and watching the stars. Then the night they had spent in the rain and from then on, he hadn’t slept well one single night.
He usually wasn’t like that and usually, he wouldn’t spend second thoughts on the person he was dating.
Jin wouldn’t think about them all night, miss them and wonder what they were doing at that moment.
He wouldn’t kiss them, either, nor would he feel overwhelmed by the urge to go much further. The urge to touch them, hold them and get involved any deeper.
But in Kazuya’s case he wasn’t like usual at all.
Kazuya just wouldn’t leave Jin’s mind and that was the reason why Jin was more than nervous, as he checked the watch in their kitchen, noticing it was almost one.
He couldn’t reach Kazuya on the phone and the younger one didn’t seem to even try contacting Jin.
It was their last day, after all, so why did Kazuya hide from him?
Jin palmed his face and let go of a frustrated sigh.
Their last day. He still thought of it like that and by now - and even though Jin didn’t really want to break up with Kazuya - he had thought about ending this tonight.
But to make a final decision he had to see Kazuya in the first place.
As the door bell rang, Jin turned his head and then hurried over to the door. He felt relived when he saw Kazuya standing in front of him, smiling as usually.
“Why didn’t you answer my calls”, Jin asked without greeting him.
Kazuya stepped inside and took of his shoes. “I knew I’d come over after lunch, anyways, so when I saw you called, I was practically on my way already.”
Jin said nothing in return and Kazuya followed him upstairs without any other word, as well. At the last step, Jin stopped and turned around. Kazuya was a few steps below him and looked up, a curious expression on his face. The older one leaned in, caught his lips in a kiss, a quick but affectionate one.
“I forgot to say Hello.”
Kazuya giggled and kissed Jin back. “Hello.” He tilted his head. “Nakamaru asked whether we wanted to join them for another game.”
“Soccer”, Jin asked, walking ahead again.
“Yeah, they meet up in about an hour. I said I would send him a message, after asking you.”
He laughed slightly. “Why didn’t you decide on your own?”
Kazuya closed the door after himself, as they were in Jin’s room. “Eh? Why would I? I don’t make decisions for you.”
Jin stood at his bed, watching Kazuya sceptically. He once again didn’t really understand why Kazuya acted like that, why Kazuya thought like that, but he supposed that was how it should be. “Would you want to go?”
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder. “Not really, but if you want to, we can.”
Jin smiled. “No, I think I’d rather spend the day with you to…” He didn’t finish the sentence. To do what? Break up properly? Discuss things between them? Act as if everything was fine?
Only nodding, the younger one pulled out his mobile and typed in a message, sending it then. Jin stood still at the exact same spot, when he looked up again and suddenly, Kazuya felt uncomfortable.
Jin didn’t seem different; he cleared his throat and sat down then. Kazuya took it as a hint and went over to sit next to him.
“How do you usually do this?” Kazuya didn’t look at Jin, as he asked.
Jin turned his head, a puzzled look on his face. “What?”
“I mean”, the younger boy continued and rubbed his hands over his thighs. “Break up?”
Biting his lip, Jin looked away again. “There’s nothing like a scheme to it.”
“Don’t you have words you always use?”
“Probably”, he answered.
Kazuya nodded, not satisfied with that answer, though. “What do you tell them? All those pretty words like ‘let’s stay friends’?”
Jin threw him a look and shifted closer then. Kazuya was afraid to hear those words again, most likely. “Why do you want to know?”
“I guess I want to be prepared”, the younger boy answered with a shrug.
“It’s easiest, when they say things like ‘See you tomorrow morning’ at the end of the day”, Jin said after a moment. “I can tell them then that I won’t pick them up and it’s done; they understand.”
“That’s cold, isn’t it?”
“I don’t have much of another chance.” He bit his lip, looked at Kazuya who still watched the floor.
“They would feel like they did something wrong”, Kazuya commented.
Jin reached out his hand to grip Kazuya’s chin and turn his face to look at his own. “It’s difficult to make them feel like they didn’t.”
“So, they are?” Kazuya watched him closely.
“No, but there’s no way in the world to make them understand that.”
Kazuya shook his head and then leaned in. “How can you live like that? Breaking another person’s heart every week again?” He didn’t wait for an answer, however, and pressed his lips to Jin’s got a hold of his wrist.
Jin forgot what they had been talking about and pulled Kazuya closer, let the younger one wound his arms around Jin’s neck to deepen the kiss.
Kazuya shifted to get his legs onto the bed, then he crawled closer to Jin. The other boy let him have his head and just held him securely around the waist, returned the kiss with slight moans, bites and occasional licks.
Until Kazuya’s lips traced down his chin and jaw and he forcefully pressed Jin to his back, falling with him, so that he lay on the older one’s chest.
He kissed the spot beneath Jin’s ear and his hands made their way beneath the light shirt Jin wore, exploring soft skin underneath.
“Kazuya”, Jin mumbled and took hold of the boy’s upper arms.
“Don’t say no again, Jin”, Kazuya said quietly at his ear, stopping his movements.
Jin swallowed thickly and sat up, forcing Kazuya with him. “Seriously, why are you so… desperate for it?”
Shaking his head, Kazuya avoided looking at Jin.
“You shouldn’t push yourself”, Jin said and brushed his hand through Kazuya’s hair. “I mean, it’s your first time, isn’t it? And I…” He rubbed a hand over his face. “God, this is awkward.”
Kazuya looked up at Jin, watched him for a moment. “In that case, we’re both the same, aren’t we? You never did it with a boy, so we are both at zero.”
“Don’t say it like that”, the older one said and looked up again to face Kazuya. “We should take our time to get more comfortable with each other.”
Kazuya leaned in to put his head to Jin’s shoulder. “I am comfortable with you.”
Jin didn’t even notice his hand reaching up to grip Kazuya’s nape and gently rubbing it with his thumb. “We should really take it slowly, Kazuya.
Shaking his head, the younger one looked up again. His look was rather indifferent and rational, the tone he spoke in more matter-of-factly than emotional. “I only have today left, don’t I?”
Jin wanted to say something, tell Kazuya that they had all the time they wanted to take, but instead he pulled him back into his embrace to kiss him.
He watched Kazuya’s eyes as he shoved him back, crawled on top of him, pressing the younger boy to the bed. Jin saw approval in those eyes and swallowed thickly, as he playfully sucked his tongue, let the kiss spin out.
Kazuya sighed in content and lightly ran his fingertips over Jin’s back, up into his hair. He arched to Jin, as the older one put his hands to his hips, held them lightly.
They were both careful, hesitant, kneeling in front of each other on the bed, as Jin undressed Kazuya from his shirt. His hand ran over pale skin from Kazuya’s shoulder over is chest down to his stomach and waist line. Kazuya watched Jin’s face closely, winced slightly, as Jin circled his finger.
“You’re ticklish”, he asked quietly and combed the fingers of his other hand through Kazuya’s hair, cupping his jaw line then.
“I guess”, Kazuya answered, nipped Jin’s bottom lip and bit it playfully, before he sucked it in. His hands found their way beneath Jin’s shirt again and he touched the skin beneath, running his fingers up and down of Jin’s sides, before he broke their kiss to push it up and out of his way.
He looked at Jin’s chest, felt the older male’s heartbeat fast and irregularly beneath his hands and swallowed thickly, caught his breath.
“Jin”, Kazuya murmured and his hands stopped over the older boy’s stomach, slightly trembling.
“It’s fine”, Jin only said and kissed his forehead. “I said we can take it slowly.”
Kazuya tilted his head to reach the skin of Jin’s neck with his lips. “I want to; I just don’t know what…” His voice trailed off and he pulled back a bit.
“It went pretty well so far, don’t you think?” Jin put a hand to his back and pulled him in for a heated kiss to distract Kazuya.
It worked; the younger one relaxed in his arms, closed his eyes and kissed Jin back with just as much heat and passion. He sighed into the kiss and shifted his position, until he could stretch out his legs, so that Jin kneeled between them.
Jin’s hands were still scanning his chest and as he brushed his thump over one of Kazuya’s nipples, the light brunette responded to it with a slight gasp, and Jin pinched it, rubbed it between his fingers slightly; but Kazuya definitely enjoyed it, sucked a little harder on Jin’s skin at his shoulder.
Jin slowly let his hand trail down, his fingers at Kazuya’s nape rubbing gently and comfortingly and the younger one put his attention to Jin’s neck and chest, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses over the heated skin.
Jin tilted his head back and his fingers fumbled with the jeans Kazuya wore.
“Tell me, if there’s something you don’t like”, Jin said quietly, murmured into Kazuya’s ear, as he opened the buttons.
Kazuya didn’t think there would be anything he could dislike about what Jin did to him currently. He fell back to his back and Jin took the invitation crawling closer, leaning over him, kissing his stomach. He dipped his tongue into Kazuya’s belly button, kissed the skin around it.
Kazuya tilted his head to the side, his eyes closed, as he raised a hand to cover his mouth with the back of it. He bit it hard to suppress the noises escaping his lips.
Jin glanced up to him and smiled slightly, but then went on. His hands were at Kazuya’s hips, his thumbs dipped beneath the waistline and tugged the fabric down slightly.
Jin kissed the exposed skin.
It was different, Kazuya thought and opened his eyes. Something had changed. It didn’t feel awkward at all or embarrassing.
The way Jin turned all his attention onto him, made him feel relaxed and warm and something inside of him had gathered in his stomach, in his chest.
It was like a tight knot and Kazuya wanted it to untangle again and release that heat in him. It was relaxing and yet his nerves were strained, every inch of his body felt so very tensed and he wanted to release that, calm down again.
Instead, his breath quickened, as Jin tugged the jeans down completely, over his thighs and to his knees.
For a moment, nothing happened, and Kazuya wanted to look up, say something, but Jin crawled up on him again, propped his head on his arm and looked at Kazuya’s face as he ran his hand in slow circles over the boy’s stomach.
“I don’t want this”, Jin said then and Kazuya stared at him.
“I’m…”, he started, without knowing what he wanted to say. “I should… I will…”
Jin leaned in to silence him with another kiss and it didn’t take long for Kazuya to lose his thoughts again and just get lost in that kiss.
“I don’t think we should go that far, as to… really do it”, Jin said then and blushed slightly. “I don’t know how.”
Kazuya blinked at him, his eyes blurred already. He knew Jin was serious and it hurt even more to be aware of it; to know Jin thought about him like that, was so careful with him.
He didn’t have another chance than to nod, agree to what Jin was up to.
“Let’s get used to this first”, Jin murmured, and traced one finger over Kazuya’s shoulder. “Next time we can do it properly.”
Swallowing, Kazuya kept looking at Jin and a smile spread over his face, as he reached out his hand to tug on Jin’s trousers. “I think we’re already doing it properly, Jin…”
The older one smirked and watched Kazuya’s face, as he ran his hand down and over his thigh. The smile on Kazuya’s lips faded within seconds and he arched up, as Jin trailed his fingers up, taking the last inches to wrap them around Kazuya’s length.
Immediately, the younger one gasped, his cheeks turning darker and he bit his lip to hold back a moan. He writhed and reached up his hand to grip Jin’s arm, pull him closer.
Jin kissed Kazuya’s neck, fiddled his earlobe with his tongue while he stroked him slowly, but hard.
Being dragged into that feeling, down to a level he had never been to before, Kazuya felt that knot in him becoming tighter, hotter and more painful. It made him feel as if everything inside him had concentrated on that single point in his chest and he couldn’t breathe.
Using all his strength, he pushed against Jin, trying to sit up. Jin pulled back and gave him a look, taking his hand away, pressing his lips together.
“Let me do something for you, too”, Kazuya said breathily and kissed Jin again, hesitantly brought his hand down and touched Jin through the fabric of the sweat pants he wore.
He was surprised finding that Jin actually was aroused and he felt something flutter in his chest, loosening the knot a bit, as he realised that Jin was aroused because of him.
Encouraged, Kazuya put more pressure to it and Jin moaned into their kiss, tangled his fingers into Kazuya’s hair to pull him deeper into it.
The younger boy pushed down his jeans completely to move. He crawled onto Jin and pressed him to the mattress, running his lips over his chest and up to his lips again, unconsciously grinding their hips together and making Jin release a frustrated moan.
“Kazuya”, he breathed and tugged him down for another longing kiss, as he rolled his hips, arched against the boy on top of him.
Returning the moves, Kazuya moaned, too, and he reached down to pull Jin’s trousers over his hips and legs. He hesitated again, watched Jin’s face, as he reached down, touched him lightly.
Jin kept up to his gaze, pressed his lips together and clenched his fingers into the sheets beneath them.
Kazuya slowly started to stroke him, his lips parted in pure admiration as he watched Jin’s face. He felt the older one writhe beneath him, gripping his hips.
Figuring that he most likely didn’t do too bad, Kazuya fasted the moves of his hand, added some pressure and felt Jin getting harder beneath is fingers.
He blushed only at the thought, but covered it up, as he leaned in and seductively kissed Jin again.
Jin lost his breath throughout the torture Kazuya put him through. For some reason, it felt just right and set off so many feelings in him, he didn’t even know anymore what he felt.
He just knew it felt good and he didn’t want it to ever stop.
As he moved his hips up, he felt Kazuya’s length against his skin and the younger one moaned slightly at Jin’s collar bone. He pressed closer to Jin, trying to get more of that friction.
Jin licked his lips slowly, and ran his hands over Kazuya’s back, into his hair and he knew he was lost already. He knew he wouldn’t ever feel like this again.
It should have been awkward and in a way, with both of them being insecure and hesitant it was exactly that: awkward. But what it created between them, that silent agreement on what they wanted and that it was nothing more and nothing less than the other one feeling good, that made it special and overlaid every feeling of embarrassment or awkwardness.
Kazuya ran his thumb over the head of Jin’s length and Jin gasped for breath, arching more than before and Kazuya knew what would come next, wrapping his fingers tighter, tugging harder.
Jin came, Kazuya’s name on his lips and his fingers digging into the skin of the younger one’s back.
Kazuya watched him, his parted lips, the closed eyes, the damp hair sticking to his forehead and he gulped, knowing that expression of complete satisfaction was his work.
Jin fell back to the sheets, breath going heavily and he tried to gather himself. He opened his eyes in the moment, Kazuya kissed him, his hand letting go of Jin’s member and his kiss making it impossible for Jin to catch his breath.
Jin got lost in it for a moment, let the play of their tongues go on for a bit longer, but then his senses came back and he sat up, pulling Kazuya with him.
He didn’t break their kiss, as he reached down, gripped Kazuya’s length.
The younger one mewled; pulled back to cover his mouth. Jin looked at him and with his free hand he tugged down Kazuya’s, tangling their fingers.
Kazuya watched him and as Jin started to slowly stroke him, his eyes went blurry, his head fell forward to Jin’s shoulder and he tried to keep his breath in rhythm.
All he managed were gasps and silent moans, though and Jin squeezed Kazuya’s hand in his, encouraging him.
“Don’t hold back, Kazuya”, he gently murmured to the brunette’s ear. “You didn’t want me to; I don’t want you to, either.”
Kazuya just pressed closer and held Jin’s hand tighter, unable to respond. The heat, that knot had become too tight; he couldn’t breath. He wanted to tell Jin, beg him to release him from that pain, but as Jin ran his finger along his length, he couldn’t bring himself to speak.
Kazuya noticed the pain as sweet, as a pain he actually enjoyed, that let him feel that when that knot would loosen up, he’d feel the most pleasant feelings, most likely.
Jin gave him a few more hard tugs and Kazuya lifted his free arm, winding it firmly around Jin’s neck, burying his face at Jin’s shoulder.
“Jin, please, I…”, he started to mumble incoherent words and they ended in a moan, as he came over Jin’s hand, tensing.
The knot Kazuya had felt tightening his chest burst in a second and set off lightening in his body, woke every single pleasant feeling he had ever felt at the same moment and he held on to Jin, biting his shoulder, trembling.
It was silent, they were both breathing heavily and Jin let go of Kazuya’s length to pull him closer again, his other hand still entwined with Kazuya’s. He ran his thumb gently over it.
This hadn’t been bad for a first time. It had actually felt more than good and he wondered what it was that made this between them so very perfect, unstained and innocent.
Something was there, making Jin feel calm and relaxed, happy with what had just happened. He had never thought he could be.
“I never say ‘lets stay friends’”, Jin said then silently. “That’s impossible, isn’t it?”
Kazuya nodded and drew back, his eyes still fogged, and his lips swollen and red. Jin looked at him, wondering if anyone else before him had ever seen Kazuya like that and licked his lips nervously.
Kazuya sighed heavily, exhausted and leaned back against Jin again, not knowing what else to do or to say.
It was impossible; Jin was right with that.
Jin shifted and Kazuya lay down, resting his head on the pillow. He watched Jin, as he lay next to him, running his hand over Kazuya’s face, brushing his hair out of his view.
“You better do it now, Jin”, he murmured, as he closed his eyes.
“The day’s not over yet”, Jin answered quietly, watching Kazuya’s face and knowing he’d fall asleep.
He reached out his hand and took Jin’s. The older one let him, held his hand in return; gently entwined their fingers, playfully pulling back, just to put them together in another angle again, while he watched Kazuya sinking into sleep.
Jin put his head down, as well, shifted closer, until their skin touched again.
“Not yet”, he repeated quietly, before he closed his eyes and let sleep take over him, as well.
Kazuya slowly blinked his eyes open and for a moment, he wondered where he was.
Then he noticed the familiar room, the cream walls, the scent. He had woken up in this room before.
Lifting his hand to rub his eyes, he noticed that Jin held him. This time he hadn’t curled up to Kazuya, but had pulled the younger one into his arms.
Kazuya sighed, bit his lip, before he leaned in and placed a gentle peck to Jin’s lips. It was almost six in the evening; they had slept quite long.
Carefully, he fetched away from Jin’s hold and gathered his clothes from the floor, quickly leaving the room. Kazuya went to the bathroom first, washing off the stickiness from his hands. He washed his face, and got dressed, then he went out again and since he didn’t hear anything, he assumed Jin was still sleeping.
Following a sudden idea, he walked down to the kitchen and opened cupboards and the fridge, gathering what he could find to cook something.
It was the least he could do for Jin.
Pressing his lips together, Kazuya remembered it, them being that close and wondered if he’d ever find something like that again.
He was still young, he told himself. It was rather unlikely to find the love of his life in that age. To think that was imprudent.
So, Kazuya thought and set on the rice cooker, he would not behave like a child and cry over this or regret it.
He was young, he was normal; this was just normal.
Nothing but a game.
The rice was almost done and the vegetables cooked, as he got bowls from a cupboard.
“Kazuya.”
It was almost just a mumble, but so soft and warm, that it made Kazuya’s heart jump. He turned around and saw Jin in the door frame; his hair messy, eyes sleepy and his clothes randomly put on.
Kazuya couldn’t hold back the smile forming in his face. “Are you hungry?”
Jin’s eyes automatically got wider and he stepped in, standing next to Kazuya. “You cooked?”
“I thought you’d probably want to eat.”
Jin put his arms around Kazuya’s waist and pulled him close, placing a kiss to his lips. “You must be seriously in love with me.”
Kazuya couldn’t say a word, a lump in his throat; hearing those words. Jin took the bowl, apparently not noticing what he had just said and sat down to eat.
Kazuya watched him for a moment, then he went over and took Jin’s shoulders, leaning in. He brushed their lips together and looked into Jin’s eyes.
“I need to go now, Jin.”
“Already? I want you to stay here tonight”, Jin offered, pulling him closer.
Kazuya shook his head. “I need to go home.”
Jin thought about making Kazuya stay; he was sure he could do that, but then decided that it was okay. He got up, walking Kazuya to the door.
Kazuya put on his shoes and then turned to Jin again, smiling. “Thanks, Jin, for… well.”
He laughed slightly. “That’s embarrassing.” Jin took Kazuya’s wrist and pulled him close again to take another kiss. “I see you tomorrow morning.”
Kazuya didn’t move for a few seconds, then he pulled his hand away, drew back from Jin’s embrace.
“You don’t need to pick me up tomorrow morning, Jin.”
The older one blinked. “What?”
“You knew it from the beginning, didn’t you?” Kazuya still smiled so cheerfully and Jin didn’t know what was going on, what that was about. “What this was about.”
Jin shook his head, something inside him had bunched, forming a tight knot in is chest. “What are you saying, Kazuya?”
“It was a game”, he replied simply. “We both said it was a game. You just played along, because I wanted you to. I didn’t think you would, actually.”
“Play along”, Jin repeated blankly.
Kazuya turned to open the door and tensed, as Jin embraced him from behind, threw his arms around his shoulders to pull him close.
“Kazuya, you know it stopped being a game. It wasn’t a game anymore since I really talked to you for the first time.”
Kazuya bit his lip, swallowed thickly, then he gripped Jin’s arms. He didn’t turn around. “You’re an idiot, Jin”, he commented calmly.
Jin stared at his hair, frowned, still not progressing what exactly was happening.
“That’s just what I wanted. I wanted you to fall in love and go through this.” Brining up all his courage, Kazuya turned his head to give Jin a cold smile. “Getting your heart broken.”
“That’s not true”, Jin said automatically and shook his head. His lips felt so numb while speaking, the knot tightened even more, took his breath. It couldn’t be; this had to be a lame joke. “I mean…”
“What? That I am in love, too? Oh, come on”, Kazuya snorted. “I just knew exactly what you wanted to hear.”
Jin stared at him. “You slept with me just a few hours ago, Kazuya. You can’t tell me you gave that away so easily; could lose that, just to fool me.”
“We didn’t really have sex. I mean… it was totally awkward.” He saw Jin’s face turning pale and wanted to take it all back, but he knew it would be better that way. “It was actually quite practical for me. With the next person, I can at least say then, I already have some experience.”
“You can’t be serious”, Jin almost only whispered. “How can you call what we did awkward, when it meant so much to me? When you looked so damn satisfied with it?” He gripped Kazuya’s shoulders, shook them. “How can you turn from that innocent, sweet, perfect boy into… this, just within seconds?”
Kazuya’s slapped Jin’s hands away and tiled his head. “You don’t know me, Jin. It was an act to trap you. And it worked.” He coolly smiled and patted Jin’s shoulder. “I told you from the beginning, didn’t I? Over and over again. I would show you that your methods were wrong.”
Jin stared at him, hurt, unbelieving, then emotionless. He felt completely numb.
“Get out of here”, he said quietly.
Kazuya turned, so that Jin wouldn’t see his face. “You held me back, so don’t complain now. You could have had it much easier, if you had just broken up with me.” He smiled over his shoulder at Jin, as he stepped out of the door. “But you said it yourself, you taught me how to; for the one breaking up this is the easiest way, isn’t it?”
“It shouldn’t be easy”, Jin said, his voice sounding broken. Whatever it was that had formed in his chest, it was pounding painfully.
“I’ll surely see you at school tomorrow, Jin”, Kazuya just added, the smile back to his face. “I mean, it’s impossible to avoid each other there. You’ll have to see the face of the person who broke your heart again and again. It’s a pity, isn’t it? But it is what you made uncountable girls go through.”
Staring at him, Jin didn’t know what to say. “For the past days, I thought they couldn’t ever been really in love with me; because I thought I had found the person who really was.”
Kazuya snorted. “Well, then now you’ll see what it feels like; how painful really is to be heartbroken.”
Jin didn’t even bother to get angry at that or show his feelings to Kazuya. He just looked at the younger one, as he slowly closed the door. With a silent click sound it locked and Jin stared at his hand at the door handle.
Swallowing, he blinked a few times, noticed his eyes had gotten teary.
That could not have been true.
After everything that had happened over this week, this must have been a filthy lie. Jin leaned his head against the door and rubbed his hands over his face.
He inhaled deeply and pulled a face, as he noticed Kazuya’s scent. His skin smelled of the younger one; his hair, his clothes, everything.
He had fallen in love with it; just a few minutes ago, he had woken up, noticing the scent and feeling so damn happy about it.
He really was an idiot; he should have seen that coming. He should have read closer.
But instead, he had fallen for the act and now, he was stuck in this misery.
He had fallen in love with a person who was fake, not existing and on top of that, that person had broken his heart.
Jin pressed his eyes closed and banged his fist against the wood, cursing under his breath.
And he had thought they had been special; they had found something special. Kazuya had given him all, a world, probably even more; that’s how it had felt.
And then he had taken it all away from Jin in just one minute, with just one sentence.
Jin tilted his head back and fought against his weakness.
He wouldn’t let this slip. He would show Kazuya that he had made a huge mistake messing with Jin like that.
It didn’t bother him, it didn’t hurt. Jin would just move on, go on as he had always done.
He was determined, but deep inside he knew, he admitted to himself, that from now on he wouldn’t ever be satisfied again if the one in his arms wasn’t Kazuya.
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I am utterly sorry for this, I mean... I had serious problems writing this. They are so young and they both had no clue and I feel like this turned out so... mushy and cheesy and anything but special, but I wanted to keep it innocent and at least a bit realistic.
Kazuya's so right, it was totally awkward XD
Other than that... Kazuya will have to explain himself next chapter, I guess v.v
Thanks so very much for reading ♥
First the night he had spent at the river with Kazuya, just lying there and watching the stars. Then the night they had spent in the rain and from then on, he hadn’t slept well one single night.
He usually wasn’t like that and usually, he wouldn’t spend second thoughts on the person he was dating.
Jin wouldn’t think about them all night, miss them and wonder what they were doing at that moment.
He wouldn’t kiss them, either, nor would he feel overwhelmed by the urge to go much further. The urge to touch them, hold them and get involved any deeper.
But in Kazuya’s case he wasn’t like usual at all.
Kazuya just wouldn’t leave Jin’s mind and that was the reason why Jin was more than nervous, as he checked the watch in their kitchen, noticing it was almost one.
He couldn’t reach Kazuya on the phone and the younger one didn’t seem to even try contacting Jin.
It was their last day, after all, so why did Kazuya hide from him?
Jin palmed his face and let go of a frustrated sigh.
Their last day. He still thought of it like that and by now - and even though Jin didn’t really want to break up with Kazuya - he had thought about ending this tonight.
But to make a final decision he had to see Kazuya in the first place.
As the door bell rang, Jin turned his head and then hurried over to the door. He felt relived when he saw Kazuya standing in front of him, smiling as usually.
“Why didn’t you answer my calls”, Jin asked without greeting him.
Kazuya stepped inside and took of his shoes. “I knew I’d come over after lunch, anyways, so when I saw you called, I was practically on my way already.”
Jin said nothing in return and Kazuya followed him upstairs without any other word, as well. At the last step, Jin stopped and turned around. Kazuya was a few steps below him and looked up, a curious expression on his face. The older one leaned in, caught his lips in a kiss, a quick but affectionate one.
“I forgot to say Hello.”
Kazuya giggled and kissed Jin back. “Hello.” He tilted his head. “Nakamaru asked whether we wanted to join them for another game.”
“Soccer”, Jin asked, walking ahead again.
“Yeah, they meet up in about an hour. I said I would send him a message, after asking you.”
He laughed slightly. “Why didn’t you decide on your own?”
Kazuya closed the door after himself, as they were in Jin’s room. “Eh? Why would I? I don’t make decisions for you.”
Jin stood at his bed, watching Kazuya sceptically. He once again didn’t really understand why Kazuya acted like that, why Kazuya thought like that, but he supposed that was how it should be. “Would you want to go?”
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder. “Not really, but if you want to, we can.”
Jin smiled. “No, I think I’d rather spend the day with you to…” He didn’t finish the sentence. To do what? Break up properly? Discuss things between them? Act as if everything was fine?
Only nodding, the younger one pulled out his mobile and typed in a message, sending it then. Jin stood still at the exact same spot, when he looked up again and suddenly, Kazuya felt uncomfortable.
Jin didn’t seem different; he cleared his throat and sat down then. Kazuya took it as a hint and went over to sit next to him.
“How do you usually do this?” Kazuya didn’t look at Jin, as he asked.
Jin turned his head, a puzzled look on his face. “What?”
“I mean”, the younger boy continued and rubbed his hands over his thighs. “Break up?”
Biting his lip, Jin looked away again. “There’s nothing like a scheme to it.”
“Don’t you have words you always use?”
“Probably”, he answered.
Kazuya nodded, not satisfied with that answer, though. “What do you tell them? All those pretty words like ‘let’s stay friends’?”
Jin threw him a look and shifted closer then. Kazuya was afraid to hear those words again, most likely. “Why do you want to know?”
“I guess I want to be prepared”, the younger boy answered with a shrug.
“It’s easiest, when they say things like ‘See you tomorrow morning’ at the end of the day”, Jin said after a moment. “I can tell them then that I won’t pick them up and it’s done; they understand.”
“That’s cold, isn’t it?”
“I don’t have much of another chance.” He bit his lip, looked at Kazuya who still watched the floor.
“They would feel like they did something wrong”, Kazuya commented.
Jin reached out his hand to grip Kazuya’s chin and turn his face to look at his own. “It’s difficult to make them feel like they didn’t.”
“So, they are?” Kazuya watched him closely.
“No, but there’s no way in the world to make them understand that.”
Kazuya shook his head and then leaned in. “How can you live like that? Breaking another person’s heart every week again?” He didn’t wait for an answer, however, and pressed his lips to Jin’s got a hold of his wrist.
Jin forgot what they had been talking about and pulled Kazuya closer, let the younger one wound his arms around Jin’s neck to deepen the kiss.
Kazuya shifted to get his legs onto the bed, then he crawled closer to Jin. The other boy let him have his head and just held him securely around the waist, returned the kiss with slight moans, bites and occasional licks.
Until Kazuya’s lips traced down his chin and jaw and he forcefully pressed Jin to his back, falling with him, so that he lay on the older one’s chest.
He kissed the spot beneath Jin’s ear and his hands made their way beneath the light shirt Jin wore, exploring soft skin underneath.
“Kazuya”, Jin mumbled and took hold of the boy’s upper arms.
“Don’t say no again, Jin”, Kazuya said quietly at his ear, stopping his movements.
Jin swallowed thickly and sat up, forcing Kazuya with him. “Seriously, why are you so… desperate for it?”
Shaking his head, Kazuya avoided looking at Jin.
“You shouldn’t push yourself”, Jin said and brushed his hand through Kazuya’s hair. “I mean, it’s your first time, isn’t it? And I…” He rubbed a hand over his face. “God, this is awkward.”
Kazuya looked up at Jin, watched him for a moment. “In that case, we’re both the same, aren’t we? You never did it with a boy, so we are both at zero.”
“Don’t say it like that”, the older one said and looked up again to face Kazuya. “We should take our time to get more comfortable with each other.”
Kazuya leaned in to put his head to Jin’s shoulder. “I am comfortable with you.”
Jin didn’t even notice his hand reaching up to grip Kazuya’s nape and gently rubbing it with his thumb. “We should really take it slowly, Kazuya.
Shaking his head, the younger one looked up again. His look was rather indifferent and rational, the tone he spoke in more matter-of-factly than emotional. “I only have today left, don’t I?”
Jin wanted to say something, tell Kazuya that they had all the time they wanted to take, but instead he pulled him back into his embrace to kiss him.
He watched Kazuya’s eyes as he shoved him back, crawled on top of him, pressing the younger boy to the bed. Jin saw approval in those eyes and swallowed thickly, as he playfully sucked his tongue, let the kiss spin out.
Kazuya sighed in content and lightly ran his fingertips over Jin’s back, up into his hair. He arched to Jin, as the older one put his hands to his hips, held them lightly.
They were both careful, hesitant, kneeling in front of each other on the bed, as Jin undressed Kazuya from his shirt. His hand ran over pale skin from Kazuya’s shoulder over is chest down to his stomach and waist line. Kazuya watched Jin’s face closely, winced slightly, as Jin circled his finger.
“You’re ticklish”, he asked quietly and combed the fingers of his other hand through Kazuya’s hair, cupping his jaw line then.
“I guess”, Kazuya answered, nipped Jin’s bottom lip and bit it playfully, before he sucked it in. His hands found their way beneath Jin’s shirt again and he touched the skin beneath, running his fingers up and down of Jin’s sides, before he broke their kiss to push it up and out of his way.
He looked at Jin’s chest, felt the older male’s heartbeat fast and irregularly beneath his hands and swallowed thickly, caught his breath.
“Jin”, Kazuya murmured and his hands stopped over the older boy’s stomach, slightly trembling.
“It’s fine”, Jin only said and kissed his forehead. “I said we can take it slowly.”
Kazuya tilted his head to reach the skin of Jin’s neck with his lips. “I want to; I just don’t know what…” His voice trailed off and he pulled back a bit.
“It went pretty well so far, don’t you think?” Jin put a hand to his back and pulled him in for a heated kiss to distract Kazuya.
It worked; the younger one relaxed in his arms, closed his eyes and kissed Jin back with just as much heat and passion. He sighed into the kiss and shifted his position, until he could stretch out his legs, so that Jin kneeled between them.
Jin’s hands were still scanning his chest and as he brushed his thump over one of Kazuya’s nipples, the light brunette responded to it with a slight gasp, and Jin pinched it, rubbed it between his fingers slightly; but Kazuya definitely enjoyed it, sucked a little harder on Jin’s skin at his shoulder.
Jin slowly let his hand trail down, his fingers at Kazuya’s nape rubbing gently and comfortingly and the younger one put his attention to Jin’s neck and chest, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses over the heated skin.
Jin tilted his head back and his fingers fumbled with the jeans Kazuya wore.
“Tell me, if there’s something you don’t like”, Jin said quietly, murmured into Kazuya’s ear, as he opened the buttons.
Kazuya didn’t think there would be anything he could dislike about what Jin did to him currently. He fell back to his back and Jin took the invitation crawling closer, leaning over him, kissing his stomach. He dipped his tongue into Kazuya’s belly button, kissed the skin around it.
Kazuya tilted his head to the side, his eyes closed, as he raised a hand to cover his mouth with the back of it. He bit it hard to suppress the noises escaping his lips.
Jin glanced up to him and smiled slightly, but then went on. His hands were at Kazuya’s hips, his thumbs dipped beneath the waistline and tugged the fabric down slightly.
Jin kissed the exposed skin.
It was different, Kazuya thought and opened his eyes. Something had changed. It didn’t feel awkward at all or embarrassing.
The way Jin turned all his attention onto him, made him feel relaxed and warm and something inside of him had gathered in his stomach, in his chest.
It was like a tight knot and Kazuya wanted it to untangle again and release that heat in him. It was relaxing and yet his nerves were strained, every inch of his body felt so very tensed and he wanted to release that, calm down again.
Instead, his breath quickened, as Jin tugged the jeans down completely, over his thighs and to his knees.
For a moment, nothing happened, and Kazuya wanted to look up, say something, but Jin crawled up on him again, propped his head on his arm and looked at Kazuya’s face as he ran his hand in slow circles over the boy’s stomach.
“I don’t want this”, Jin said then and Kazuya stared at him.
“I’m…”, he started, without knowing what he wanted to say. “I should… I will…”
Jin leaned in to silence him with another kiss and it didn’t take long for Kazuya to lose his thoughts again and just get lost in that kiss.
“I don’t think we should go that far, as to… really do it”, Jin said then and blushed slightly. “I don’t know how.”
Kazuya blinked at him, his eyes blurred already. He knew Jin was serious and it hurt even more to be aware of it; to know Jin thought about him like that, was so careful with him.
He didn’t have another chance than to nod, agree to what Jin was up to.
“Let’s get used to this first”, Jin murmured, and traced one finger over Kazuya’s shoulder. “Next time we can do it properly.”
Swallowing, Kazuya kept looking at Jin and a smile spread over his face, as he reached out his hand to tug on Jin’s trousers. “I think we’re already doing it properly, Jin…”
The older one smirked and watched Kazuya’s face, as he ran his hand down and over his thigh. The smile on Kazuya’s lips faded within seconds and he arched up, as Jin trailed his fingers up, taking the last inches to wrap them around Kazuya’s length.
Immediately, the younger one gasped, his cheeks turning darker and he bit his lip to hold back a moan. He writhed and reached up his hand to grip Jin’s arm, pull him closer.
Jin kissed Kazuya’s neck, fiddled his earlobe with his tongue while he stroked him slowly, but hard.
Being dragged into that feeling, down to a level he had never been to before, Kazuya felt that knot in him becoming tighter, hotter and more painful. It made him feel as if everything inside him had concentrated on that single point in his chest and he couldn’t breathe.
Using all his strength, he pushed against Jin, trying to sit up. Jin pulled back and gave him a look, taking his hand away, pressing his lips together.
“Let me do something for you, too”, Kazuya said breathily and kissed Jin again, hesitantly brought his hand down and touched Jin through the fabric of the sweat pants he wore.
He was surprised finding that Jin actually was aroused and he felt something flutter in his chest, loosening the knot a bit, as he realised that Jin was aroused because of him.
Encouraged, Kazuya put more pressure to it and Jin moaned into their kiss, tangled his fingers into Kazuya’s hair to pull him deeper into it.
The younger boy pushed down his jeans completely to move. He crawled onto Jin and pressed him to the mattress, running his lips over his chest and up to his lips again, unconsciously grinding their hips together and making Jin release a frustrated moan.
“Kazuya”, he breathed and tugged him down for another longing kiss, as he rolled his hips, arched against the boy on top of him.
Returning the moves, Kazuya moaned, too, and he reached down to pull Jin’s trousers over his hips and legs. He hesitated again, watched Jin’s face, as he reached down, touched him lightly.
Jin kept up to his gaze, pressed his lips together and clenched his fingers into the sheets beneath them.
Kazuya slowly started to stroke him, his lips parted in pure admiration as he watched Jin’s face. He felt the older one writhe beneath him, gripping his hips.
Figuring that he most likely didn’t do too bad, Kazuya fasted the moves of his hand, added some pressure and felt Jin getting harder beneath is fingers.
He blushed only at the thought, but covered it up, as he leaned in and seductively kissed Jin again.
Jin lost his breath throughout the torture Kazuya put him through. For some reason, it felt just right and set off so many feelings in him, he didn’t even know anymore what he felt.
He just knew it felt good and he didn’t want it to ever stop.
As he moved his hips up, he felt Kazuya’s length against his skin and the younger one moaned slightly at Jin’s collar bone. He pressed closer to Jin, trying to get more of that friction.
Jin licked his lips slowly, and ran his hands over Kazuya’s back, into his hair and he knew he was lost already. He knew he wouldn’t ever feel like this again.
It should have been awkward and in a way, with both of them being insecure and hesitant it was exactly that: awkward. But what it created between them, that silent agreement on what they wanted and that it was nothing more and nothing less than the other one feeling good, that made it special and overlaid every feeling of embarrassment or awkwardness.
Kazuya ran his thumb over the head of Jin’s length and Jin gasped for breath, arching more than before and Kazuya knew what would come next, wrapping his fingers tighter, tugging harder.
Jin came, Kazuya’s name on his lips and his fingers digging into the skin of the younger one’s back.
Kazuya watched him, his parted lips, the closed eyes, the damp hair sticking to his forehead and he gulped, knowing that expression of complete satisfaction was his work.
Jin fell back to the sheets, breath going heavily and he tried to gather himself. He opened his eyes in the moment, Kazuya kissed him, his hand letting go of Jin’s member and his kiss making it impossible for Jin to catch his breath.
Jin got lost in it for a moment, let the play of their tongues go on for a bit longer, but then his senses came back and he sat up, pulling Kazuya with him.
He didn’t break their kiss, as he reached down, gripped Kazuya’s length.
The younger one mewled; pulled back to cover his mouth. Jin looked at him and with his free hand he tugged down Kazuya’s, tangling their fingers.
Kazuya watched him and as Jin started to slowly stroke him, his eyes went blurry, his head fell forward to Jin’s shoulder and he tried to keep his breath in rhythm.
All he managed were gasps and silent moans, though and Jin squeezed Kazuya’s hand in his, encouraging him.
“Don’t hold back, Kazuya”, he gently murmured to the brunette’s ear. “You didn’t want me to; I don’t want you to, either.”
Kazuya just pressed closer and held Jin’s hand tighter, unable to respond. The heat, that knot had become too tight; he couldn’t breath. He wanted to tell Jin, beg him to release him from that pain, but as Jin ran his finger along his length, he couldn’t bring himself to speak.
Kazuya noticed the pain as sweet, as a pain he actually enjoyed, that let him feel that when that knot would loosen up, he’d feel the most pleasant feelings, most likely.
Jin gave him a few more hard tugs and Kazuya lifted his free arm, winding it firmly around Jin’s neck, burying his face at Jin’s shoulder.
“Jin, please, I…”, he started to mumble incoherent words and they ended in a moan, as he came over Jin’s hand, tensing.
The knot Kazuya had felt tightening his chest burst in a second and set off lightening in his body, woke every single pleasant feeling he had ever felt at the same moment and he held on to Jin, biting his shoulder, trembling.
It was silent, they were both breathing heavily and Jin let go of Kazuya’s length to pull him closer again, his other hand still entwined with Kazuya’s. He ran his thumb gently over it.
This hadn’t been bad for a first time. It had actually felt more than good and he wondered what it was that made this between them so very perfect, unstained and innocent.
Something was there, making Jin feel calm and relaxed, happy with what had just happened. He had never thought he could be.
“I never say ‘lets stay friends’”, Jin said then silently. “That’s impossible, isn’t it?”
Kazuya nodded and drew back, his eyes still fogged, and his lips swollen and red. Jin looked at him, wondering if anyone else before him had ever seen Kazuya like that and licked his lips nervously.
Kazuya sighed heavily, exhausted and leaned back against Jin again, not knowing what else to do or to say.
It was impossible; Jin was right with that.
Jin shifted and Kazuya lay down, resting his head on the pillow. He watched Jin, as he lay next to him, running his hand over Kazuya’s face, brushing his hair out of his view.
“You better do it now, Jin”, he murmured, as he closed his eyes.
“The day’s not over yet”, Jin answered quietly, watching Kazuya’s face and knowing he’d fall asleep.
He reached out his hand and took Jin’s. The older one let him, held his hand in return; gently entwined their fingers, playfully pulling back, just to put them together in another angle again, while he watched Kazuya sinking into sleep.
Jin put his head down, as well, shifted closer, until their skin touched again.
“Not yet”, he repeated quietly, before he closed his eyes and let sleep take over him, as well.
Kazuya slowly blinked his eyes open and for a moment, he wondered where he was.
Then he noticed the familiar room, the cream walls, the scent. He had woken up in this room before.
Lifting his hand to rub his eyes, he noticed that Jin held him. This time he hadn’t curled up to Kazuya, but had pulled the younger one into his arms.
Kazuya sighed, bit his lip, before he leaned in and placed a gentle peck to Jin’s lips. It was almost six in the evening; they had slept quite long.
Carefully, he fetched away from Jin’s hold and gathered his clothes from the floor, quickly leaving the room. Kazuya went to the bathroom first, washing off the stickiness from his hands. He washed his face, and got dressed, then he went out again and since he didn’t hear anything, he assumed Jin was still sleeping.
Following a sudden idea, he walked down to the kitchen and opened cupboards and the fridge, gathering what he could find to cook something.
It was the least he could do for Jin.
Pressing his lips together, Kazuya remembered it, them being that close and wondered if he’d ever find something like that again.
He was still young, he told himself. It was rather unlikely to find the love of his life in that age. To think that was imprudent.
So, Kazuya thought and set on the rice cooker, he would not behave like a child and cry over this or regret it.
He was young, he was normal; this was just normal.
Nothing but a game.
The rice was almost done and the vegetables cooked, as he got bowls from a cupboard.
“Kazuya.”
It was almost just a mumble, but so soft and warm, that it made Kazuya’s heart jump. He turned around and saw Jin in the door frame; his hair messy, eyes sleepy and his clothes randomly put on.
Kazuya couldn’t hold back the smile forming in his face. “Are you hungry?”
Jin’s eyes automatically got wider and he stepped in, standing next to Kazuya. “You cooked?”
“I thought you’d probably want to eat.”
Jin put his arms around Kazuya’s waist and pulled him close, placing a kiss to his lips. “You must be seriously in love with me.”
Kazuya couldn’t say a word, a lump in his throat; hearing those words. Jin took the bowl, apparently not noticing what he had just said and sat down to eat.
Kazuya watched him for a moment, then he went over and took Jin’s shoulders, leaning in. He brushed their lips together and looked into Jin’s eyes.
“I need to go now, Jin.”
“Already? I want you to stay here tonight”, Jin offered, pulling him closer.
Kazuya shook his head. “I need to go home.”
Jin thought about making Kazuya stay; he was sure he could do that, but then decided that it was okay. He got up, walking Kazuya to the door.
Kazuya put on his shoes and then turned to Jin again, smiling. “Thanks, Jin, for… well.”
He laughed slightly. “That’s embarrassing.” Jin took Kazuya’s wrist and pulled him close again to take another kiss. “I see you tomorrow morning.”
Kazuya didn’t move for a few seconds, then he pulled his hand away, drew back from Jin’s embrace.
“You don’t need to pick me up tomorrow morning, Jin.”
The older one blinked. “What?”
“You knew it from the beginning, didn’t you?” Kazuya still smiled so cheerfully and Jin didn’t know what was going on, what that was about. “What this was about.”
Jin shook his head, something inside him had bunched, forming a tight knot in is chest. “What are you saying, Kazuya?”
“It was a game”, he replied simply. “We both said it was a game. You just played along, because I wanted you to. I didn’t think you would, actually.”
“Play along”, Jin repeated blankly.
Kazuya turned to open the door and tensed, as Jin embraced him from behind, threw his arms around his shoulders to pull him close.
“Kazuya, you know it stopped being a game. It wasn’t a game anymore since I really talked to you for the first time.”
Kazuya bit his lip, swallowed thickly, then he gripped Jin’s arms. He didn’t turn around. “You’re an idiot, Jin”, he commented calmly.
Jin stared at his hair, frowned, still not progressing what exactly was happening.
“That’s just what I wanted. I wanted you to fall in love and go through this.” Brining up all his courage, Kazuya turned his head to give Jin a cold smile. “Getting your heart broken.”
“That’s not true”, Jin said automatically and shook his head. His lips felt so numb while speaking, the knot tightened even more, took his breath. It couldn’t be; this had to be a lame joke. “I mean…”
“What? That I am in love, too? Oh, come on”, Kazuya snorted. “I just knew exactly what you wanted to hear.”
Jin stared at him. “You slept with me just a few hours ago, Kazuya. You can’t tell me you gave that away so easily; could lose that, just to fool me.”
“We didn’t really have sex. I mean… it was totally awkward.” He saw Jin’s face turning pale and wanted to take it all back, but he knew it would be better that way. “It was actually quite practical for me. With the next person, I can at least say then, I already have some experience.”
“You can’t be serious”, Jin almost only whispered. “How can you call what we did awkward, when it meant so much to me? When you looked so damn satisfied with it?” He gripped Kazuya’s shoulders, shook them. “How can you turn from that innocent, sweet, perfect boy into… this, just within seconds?”
Kazuya’s slapped Jin’s hands away and tiled his head. “You don’t know me, Jin. It was an act to trap you. And it worked.” He coolly smiled and patted Jin’s shoulder. “I told you from the beginning, didn’t I? Over and over again. I would show you that your methods were wrong.”
Jin stared at him, hurt, unbelieving, then emotionless. He felt completely numb.
“Get out of here”, he said quietly.
Kazuya turned, so that Jin wouldn’t see his face. “You held me back, so don’t complain now. You could have had it much easier, if you had just broken up with me.” He smiled over his shoulder at Jin, as he stepped out of the door. “But you said it yourself, you taught me how to; for the one breaking up this is the easiest way, isn’t it?”
“It shouldn’t be easy”, Jin said, his voice sounding broken. Whatever it was that had formed in his chest, it was pounding painfully.
“I’ll surely see you at school tomorrow, Jin”, Kazuya just added, the smile back to his face. “I mean, it’s impossible to avoid each other there. You’ll have to see the face of the person who broke your heart again and again. It’s a pity, isn’t it? But it is what you made uncountable girls go through.”
Staring at him, Jin didn’t know what to say. “For the past days, I thought they couldn’t ever been really in love with me; because I thought I had found the person who really was.”
Kazuya snorted. “Well, then now you’ll see what it feels like; how painful really is to be heartbroken.”
Jin didn’t even bother to get angry at that or show his feelings to Kazuya. He just looked at the younger one, as he slowly closed the door. With a silent click sound it locked and Jin stared at his hand at the door handle.
Swallowing, he blinked a few times, noticed his eyes had gotten teary.
That could not have been true.
After everything that had happened over this week, this must have been a filthy lie. Jin leaned his head against the door and rubbed his hands over his face.
He inhaled deeply and pulled a face, as he noticed Kazuya’s scent. His skin smelled of the younger one; his hair, his clothes, everything.
He had fallen in love with it; just a few minutes ago, he had woken up, noticing the scent and feeling so damn happy about it.
He really was an idiot; he should have seen that coming. He should have read closer.
But instead, he had fallen for the act and now, he was stuck in this misery.
He had fallen in love with a person who was fake, not existing and on top of that, that person had broken his heart.
Jin pressed his eyes closed and banged his fist against the wood, cursing under his breath.
And he had thought they had been special; they had found something special. Kazuya had given him all, a world, probably even more; that’s how it had felt.
And then he had taken it all away from Jin in just one minute, with just one sentence.
Jin tilted his head back and fought against his weakness.
He wouldn’t let this slip. He would show Kazuya that he had made a huge mistake messing with Jin like that.
It didn’t bother him, it didn’t hurt. Jin would just move on, go on as he had always done.
He was determined, but deep inside he knew, he admitted to himself, that from now on he wouldn’t ever be satisfied again if the one in his arms wasn’t Kazuya.
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I am utterly sorry for this, I mean... I had serious problems writing this. They are so young and they both had no clue and I feel like this turned out so... mushy and cheesy and anything but special, but I wanted to keep it innocent and at least a bit realistic.
Kazuya's so right, it was totally awkward XD
Other than that... Kazuya will have to explain himself next chapter, I guess v.v
Thanks so very much for reading ♥