Drowned in Silence /// Second Word: Oblivion
“It’s really good to see you again!”
Kazuya smiled and nodded in agreement. “It’s been so long, since high school, but you didn’t change that much, at all.”
Koki grinned and leaned in, sucking his soda empty through the straw. “You haven’t changed, either.”
“How have you been?”
Tilting his head, Koki put the empty bottle aside. “I’ve been doing well. School was the same, until the end; always the same people. Ueda, Nakamaru, Akanishi…” His voice trailed off and he threw Kazuya a look. „Well, until Nakamaru and Akanishi graduated a year ago.”
Kazuya tried not to react to the simple mention of Jin’s name and nodded calmly. “I missed the place.”
“You could have come visit anytime.”
Smiling, Kazuya leaned back, shook his head. “I know; my parents asked a lot. But as a newbie in the team I had to train really hard to keep up with everyone.”
Koki nodded. “I see.”
“Give me your phone number, okay? We should meet up sometime for a drink or a meal.”
Getting out his mobile, the older one glanced at Kazuya. “I saw Akanishi a while ago.”
Kazuya blinked at him. “Jin?”
“Yeah, he seems to have gotten into a Tokyo university. I saw him with some friends, but didn’t get around to talk to him, actually.”
“That’s a pity. But I am sure he’s doing well.”
“So, you guys didn’t have any contact?”
Kazuya smiled at that, shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen him, since I have left home.”
Koki nodded. “I thought he probably contacted you, when he came to Tokyo.”
“Why would he?”
“That’s a stupid question”, Koki answered and gave Kazuya a piece of paper with his contact information. “He went after you that day, didn’t he? It was obvious you turned him down, when he came back.”
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder. “It was a fling for him.”
“He didn’t date anyone until he graduated, Kame.”
“I’ve gotten what I wanted then. Make the world a bit better.”
Koki laughed and stood up from the pedestrian sidewalk they had sat at next to each other. “He never admitted it in front of us, but I am still sure he fell in love with you in those seven days.”
Kazuya looked up at Koki who leaned against the timetable sign for the bus he was waiting for. It was strange; even though they hadn’t met in years, he could still talk to Koki like that and Koki still treated him the way he always had.
“We’re both boys, Koki. We didn’t really fall in love.”
Shrugging a shoulder, the blonde held out his hand to help Kazuya get up, as his bus came. “If you didn’t, fine. He did.”
Kazuya didn’t know what to say to that. He had expected to small talk with Koki for a bit, but instead the conversation had turned out to bring up all of his forgotten fears and mistakes from the past.
“Call me, okay?”
Kazuya just nodded, let Koki get into the bus and watched it drive off.
He turned on his heel and sighed to himself, wondering how Koki could have managed to bring up all this in a ten-minutes-conversation after their first meeting in two years.
That boy still was a bit too straight forward and always spoke his mind.
Most likely, Kazuya thought now and entered the next subway station, Koki had had those things in his mind for all that time, wanting to let Kazuya know.
That was just how Koki was, always had been.
Kazuya took the next train, leaned against the door, as it closed and flipped open his cell phone. It was a new one, he had bought it about a year ago, but still, he had that picture in his files, of him and Jin from that sunny Saturday in Yokohama, both of them having ice cream and flashing smiles.
The printed one lay in a drawer in his working desk and he hadn’t took it out in a while.
Closing the mobile, Kazuya got out next station, noticing himself watching out.
He hadn’t known what had happened to Jin, where he had went after graduating from school. But now, that Koki had told him Jin was here, too, in Tokyo, Kazuya strangely felt as if he’d cross his way any time.
What was ridiculous, since that hadn’t happened in a whole year.
“Kame!”
He turned, as he heard someone call his name and looked around, until he made out Tegoshi in the crowd.
“Off to today’s job?”
Kazuya nodded and walked on, as Tegoshi was beside him.
They had both just graduated from school, but still went to the same university, since it was attached to the school they had been at.
That way, they could stay in their teams, going on with their sports.
There had been no tests and no transfer problems that way and Kazuya had noticed that for once, it had been nice like that. He didn’t have to change schools, get out of the environment he had gotten used to.
He could just have stayed.
“How was today’s game”, Kazuya wanted to know, as they left the station.
Tegoshi grinned and flashed a peace sign. “We won three goals ahead.”
“How many were yours?”
He took one of his fingers down. “One.”
“Well, that’s good then, isn’t it?” Kazuya turned at a corner, walking down the street.
“It is. They consider taking me into the team for the next league.” Tegoshi dashed ahead to the building they were aiming for. “How about you? Did you get to the tryouts?”
Kazuya nodded, followed the smaller one inside. “They are next month.”
“Shall I come and watch?”
“If you have time.”
“Sure, I’ll come then”, Tegoshi said and smiled brightly, as they walked into the studio at the third floor.
“There you are, guys”, Yamashita greeted them and raised a hand. “I thought you’d leave me the job to do it myself.”
Tegoshi smirked and took off his jacket, catching a glimpse of himself in one of the mirrors, as he touched his hair. “Who would still buy it then”, he chirped and walked off into the mask.
Kazuya laughed slightly, as Yamashita mumbled: “He’s acting too superior for a newbie.”
“He doesn’t mean it in a bad way.”
“I figured that bit”, Yamashita answered and sat down on one of the chairs. “Up for a group date tonight?”
Kazuya tilted his head, shook it then. “I have training later today.”
“You can’t always use that excuse, Kame.”
“But it’s simply how it is.”
Yamashita sighed. “Well, then it can’t be helped. Or do you actually have a girlfriend?”
Blinking, Kazuya put down his bag. He almost said he wouldn’t ever have a girlfriend; not as long as he felt like that for another boy, but he figured that wouldn’t be appropriate. Yamashita clearly didn’t need to know. So he simply said: “I don’t have time for girls.”
“Ah, Kame”, Yamashita whined and clenched his shirt over his chest. “Don’t say that - when I was your age I had time for nothing else, but girls.”
“Don’t talk like an old man, when you’re only a year older than me.” Kazuya laughed. “And you still have time for nothing else beside the girls.”
“I’m doing this job, don’t I?”
“To impress them, yeah.”
“Why else would you do it?” Yamashita leaned back a bit.
“Because it’s easily made money”, Kazuya answered calmly.
“That’s cheap. You know, a friend of mine always says, this job is like prostitution. The way you state your reasons, only makes it sound even more like that.”
Kazuya threw him a look, walked over to the mask, as he saw Tegoshi coming back.
“Tell your friend, he has no clue about the hardship in life then.”
On Sunday’s, Ueno Park was always quite crowded.
Kazuya had wanted to meet up with Koki about thirty minutes ago, but it seemed they had both gotten the other one wrong and thus, waited at different entrances.
Koki had called him and now, Kazuya was on his way down the street, back to the station, to take the entrance there and meet Koki.
He walked up the steps and saw Koki at the other side, as a girl rushed past him, left him puzzled for a moment.
Sometimes, he still thought he’d see her.
It wasn’t as bad as the way he always looked out for Jin. But there were girls reminding him of that one girl.
The smell of a perfume, the long, slightly curled hair, the way they moved.
Sometimes, it struck Kazuya that it was just exactly the way she had smelled, looked or moved and then, for a moment, it hurt.
But then, whenever it did, he’d remember that it was nothing, that he had mistaken the pain and the feelings he had had back then for love.
But it clearly hadn’t been, it could not have been, Kazuya had realised. Not, after what he had felt towards Jin.
“Kame!”
He turned his head and looked at Koki, who approached him with quick steps.
“Hey, Koki. Sorry for the wait.”
“Ah, it’s fine. Let’s go to Ameyoko street first, okay?” Koki walked down the stairs and Kazuya turned, following him. “I am dying of hunger.”
They went into a small, traditional restaurant, ordered their dishes and took a seat at one of the windows.
“How’s Ueda doing?”
Koki shrugged a shoulder. “He’s fine, I think. We sometimes text each other, but I don’t see him anymore, since I came to Tokyo.”
“Did he go after Nakamaru?”
Koki looked up, raised a brow.
Kazuya chuckled a bit. “Come on, those two were obvious, weren’t they?”
“I think so”, Koki answered and leaned back. “You don’t seem to have a problem with that.”
“Why would I?”
Shrugging, the older one took his glass of green tea, nipped. “They had a pretty hard time, when it leaked through last year.”
Kazuya bit his lip, nodded slowly. “I can imagine.”
“Ueda distanced himself from us, somehow. Nakamaru came to drop him off at school and pick him up each day.”
Kazuya blinked. “Did they live together?”
Koki shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t think so. They do now.”
“So, they are really serious.”
Koki leaned back, as a waitress brought their meals. He waited until she was gone again, before he took his chopsticks and looked at Kazuya again. “They were, when I last met them.”
“That’s good then”, Kazuya commented.
“You’re pretty much alone, when you think that way.”
“You think so, too, don’t you, Koki?”
The older one shrugged a shoulder, started to eat. “They are both my friends.”
“And I am sure they know that and are thankful for that”, Kazuya remarked, before he started to eat, too.
“I would have been the same, if it had been for you and Jin, Kame.”
The latter looked up and managed a smile. “Don’t be that persistent about that, Koki. What makes you, anyway?”
Koki looked down again. “I felt bad for Jin, it was pathetic to watch him.”
Kazuya stopped eating, his hands froze.
“He obviously missed you and he was in a complete dilemma, as he didn’t know how to go on.”
Kazuya gulped down the lump in his throat. “Did he talk to you about it?”
Koki shook his head. “I tried to, but he never did. He just once said that he couldn’t go on like before, that was all.”
“Well, I am sure he got over it much easier than you…”
“Kame”, Koki said calmly. “Whatever happened that week, you’re a fool if you think you just did that for fun or to win a bet or to simply change Jin.”
Kazuya avoided looking at him. “I know that myself, Koki. But it was only a week, a few days. That’s not like Ueda and Nakamaru, who shared a past of several years.”
“You could have it by now.”
Kazuya laughed slightly. “We would not have lasted.”
Koki picked up a piece of pork, sighed. “Really, why did you leave in the first place?”
“I’ve wanted to play baseball.”
“You cut all connections, Kazuya. You obviously didn’t want to be reminded of that place.”
“I’ve just been there for a few months, Koki.”
The older one put his hand to the table. “You were afraid of keeping in contact with Jin, weren’t you?”
Kazuya didn’t answer.
“You’re an idiot, Kame, really.”
“Can’t we change the topic?” Kazuya looked uncomfortable, shifted in his seat. “I don’t know what this is about. That was years ago and we’re all over it, aren’t we?”
Koki kept quiet, picked up his chopsticks again and continued eating.
Taking a deep breath, Kazuya did the same, unsure how to go on.
“I saw you in a magazine a few days ago.”
Kazuya looked up. “Ah… yes, I earn some money modelling for a magazine.”
“That’s wise. You should use those good looks of yours”, Koki pointed out.
Smiling slightly, Kazuya looked at Koki, watched him eating. “Thanks, Koki.”
“Well, you’ve always been good-looking, so…”
“No”, Kazuya interrupted. “For caring about me. I abandoned you guys and just left without a word and yet you still meet up with me, as if nothing had happened.”
Koki kept silent, then he shrugged a shoulder. “We’re friends, I think.”
Hearing him say that, after two years without any contact, Kazuya had to laugh, but he still appreciated that way of thinking. “That’s good to know.”
They spent the rest of the day shopping, playing games at the arcades and watching a movie together.
It was just as in old times, when they would hang out after school, doing what boys their age did.
Kazuya enjoyed it a lot.
As it got late, they parted at the station and Kazuya took the next train to get home, exhausted, but happy.
He opened his back and looked at the photos he had taken with his mobile, the purikura ones they had taken in a game centre and the things he had bought.
He cursed slightly, as he noticed he had left his jacket in the restaurant.
Getting back the next day would be troublesome, so he got off the next station and took the next train back to Ueno.
It didn’t take long and he got off with the masses of people, looking around to find the right exit.
He saw Koki, as the crowd cleared and just raised his hand, as he noticed Koki talking to someone.
Kazuya’s heart skipped a beat. He only saw the person from behind, but he knew it was Jin from the first glance.
He looked at the train, but couldn’t see the person, Jin was apparently looking at.
The train left and the people around them disappeared into the stair cases.
Kazuya got closer.
“How long have you been dating?”
“It’s been a while now.”
Kazuya swallowed thickly. Jin’s voice still sounded the same. The tone still so indifferent.
“So, it’s finally something serious, I assume”, Koki wanted to know and Kazuya looked at Jin’s back, awaiting his answer in tension.
“You could say that.”
Kazuya still held his breath, as Koki answered: “That’s good to hear, after you played around that much in High School.”
Jin laughed. “Well…”
“You’ve been so depressed, when Kame-chan left, back then.”
Kazuya stared at the scene, as Jin didn’t answer. He would have wanted to see the older one’s face, since he couldn’t know how Jin reacted to that.
And Koki just pushed further: “You liked him, didn’t you? He obviously turned you around in that week you guys were dating.”
Jin laughed and Kazuya felt his heart sink.
“You still remember that? I had already forgotten about that joke between all those girls I dated.”
“Well, I am happy you could find someone who can compare to Kame, at least.”
“I told you, it was a joke, that week. It didn’t mean anything to me”, Jin just answered and walked past Koki, dashed up the stairs without looking back.
Kazuya remained in his spot, unable to move and watched Jin leaving. Koki didn’t notice him right away, only, when he looked up and sighed, he noticed the younger one and choked on his own breath.
“Kame…”
Kazuya moved his head, looked at him.
“What are you doing here?”
“I forgot my jacket in the restaurant.”
Koki nodded. “Ah, I see.”
Kazuya kept silent for a moment. “See, I told you he got over it. It was a joke for both of us.”
Koki gave him a sympathetic look and Kazuya felt the urge to beat him for that. “Kame…”
“You just interpret too much into it, because you saw how serious Ueda was. We’re both not like that”, Kazuya said calmly and walked towards him. “We weren’t serious.”
Koki took a deep breath, then he nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
Smiling, Kazuya patted his shoulder and then walked on. “I’ll see you soon, Koki.”
He didn’t turn around once more, as he left the station, just walked ahead, not actually knowing, where exactly he walked to.
Jin had a new relationship; of course he had, and it certainly wasn’t the first one, since they had parted back then.
Kazuya was sure Jin hadn’t dwelled on it as much as Koki had said he had.
Jin easily got over break ups. He probably had been upset with Kazuya for being the one to break up with him.
Kazuya bit his lip, as he slowed down and looked around, saw the colourful lights and signs surrounding him.
He knew he couldn’t expect it to be different; he had been the one to leave, after all.
But still, it hurt to finally know for sure, Jin was really over it completely.
Because Kazuya wasn’t.
“Great game, guys!”
Kazuya lifted his hand for the millionth time, as it felt to him, since the game was over to receive a high five.
They were in the changing rooms, getting showered and dressed to leave.
Even though they had won the game, they didn’t plan to go out together for drinks to celebrate the victory.
Kazuya thought it was a bit sad they didn’t, but it had never been like that. They were team mates, but strangely never became friends.
He looked at his watch, saw it was a quarter to eight and quickly stuffed his things into his bag, running out of the changing room with bidding everyone a quick goodbye. If he hurried, he would still get the train back home at eight.
“Kazuya!”
He stopped and turned just in front of the exit door, as he saw Tegoshi and Koki in the huge entrance hall.
Tegoshi had called him, and Koki looked rather surprised. Kazuya laughed slightly.
“You came!”
Both of them threw the other one a look, before they walked over to Kazuya.
“Koki, that’s Tegoshi Yuya”, Kazuya introduced them. “Yuya, that’s Tanaka Koki, a friend from the high school I went to before.”
“Ah”, Tegoshi beamed and bowed to Koki. “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise”, Koki answered and smiled friendly.
“The game was great!” Tegoshi turned to Kazuya again, gripping his hands. “You played so well.”
Kazuya laughed slightly. “You don’t even have a clue, Yuya; but thanks.”
“No, he’s right; you did great”, Koki interfered and grinned.
Kazuya tilted his head, laughing embarrassedly. “Why don’t we all go out then, celebrating the victory?”
“Ah, I can’t, sorry. My part time job starts at nine.” Koki made an apologetic gesture.
“That’s too bad”, Kazuya said disappointed. “I’d like to celebrate a bit.”
Tegoshi lifted his hand, showed the display of his mobile to him. “Yamashita asks if we have time for a group date.”
Kazuya pulled a face. “He’s so eager to get us girls.”
“Well, we don’t have to pick one, after all. Let’s just have some fun then.”
Kazuya nodded, gave in. “Okay, why not?”
As the three of them left the building, Kazuya looked at his watch, saw it was just a minute past eight. “I missed the train, however.”
At the station, they parted from Koki and took the next train to get to the restaurant Yamashita had texted Tegoshi they’d be at.
“He showed them the magazine”, Tegoshi told Kazuya. “Yamashita called me earlier, and he said they saw us in that shooting we recently had together, you know?”
“Desperate girls”, Kazuya commented dryly. “My favourite ones.”
Tegoshi chuckled a bit. “You don’t really have favourite types, do you? You reject every girl.”
“Eeeh…?” Kazuya threw him a look.
“I’ve actually been just around the corner, when sometimes girls would have confessed to you. You turn them down really politely, Kame.”
“You’re a brat, Yuya”, Kazuya said. “Eavesdropping is the worst.”
“I wasn’t. It always was accidentally.”
Kazuya just gave him a knowing look.
“Is there a reason why you don’t pick any girl?” Tegoshi eyed him curiously.
Shrugging a shoulder, the taller one sat back in his seat. “I’m not interested and I don’t have time.”
Nodding, Tegoshi accepted that answer. “Well, I don’t think any of the girls Yamashita is going to introduce us to is going to be the right one, but it’ll surely be fun, though.”
Kazuya didn’t answer to that and they kept quiet, until they got off and reached the restaurant.
They walked in, being greeted by the shop’s owner and Yamashita spotted them, waving them over.
“I’m happy you still made it, we lack guys here”, Yamashita said and Kazuya and Tegoshi bowed slightly to the rest of the people.
He introduced the five girls to them, then the only other boy still with him.
Tegoshi sat down next to Kazuya, who had taken the seat next to Yamashita’s friend, Ryo, as Kazuya remembered his name.
“Tomo said you had an important game, just until now”, the girl across from Kazuya asked and he desperately tried to remember her name.
“Ah, yes, it was the tryout game for the national B team.”
“His team won”, Tegoshi interfered and gave them a smile, so cute, Kazuya was sure he had never seen it before. Tegoshi surely was unpredictable.
“Oh, that’s great!” All five girls started to get excited over it at once, and even though he knew they were cute, Kazuya still couldn’t stop himself from finding it slightly annoying.
“Ah, hey”, he heard Yamashita saying then and looked up, saw him talking on the mobile phone. “We’re just around the corner; are you home?”
Kazuya tilted his head, listened to Yamashita’s conversation with one ear, while pretending to be interested in the girls’ questions.
“Then, why don’t you drop by, when you walk home? We’re at that Italian restaurant and a guy short.”
Kazuya wondered just how many people Yamashita planned to drag into the group date and slightly grinned at that thought.
“Yeah, Ryo’s there, too.” He gave the phone to the boy next to him. “He wants to make sure you’re really there.”
“Hey, buddy”, Ryo said and laughed slightly. “Yeah, it’s nice. Drop by, okay?” They talked for a bit more, then Ryo hung up and gave the phone back to Yamashita. “He says he peeks in on his way home.”
“He misses all the fun”, Yamashita pointed out.
Ryo leaned in and Kazuya heard him say: “He doesn’t need this; after all, he has a cute girlfriend, right?”
“She doesn’t need to know he’s joining us here.”
Kazuya blinked over that, wondering why exactly they invited someone who had a girlfriend to a group date. But they dropped the topic there and focused on the girls again, so Kazuya did the same.
Tegoshi talked about his last soccer match and Kazuya didn’t believe the girls were as interested as they seemed to be, but yet, it kept their attention away from him, so he didn’t complain.
As the door was opened, the bells above it ringed and Kazuya threw a bored look, before he looked back at the girl in front of him again; but then, he blinked his eyes, raising his look again.
Jin had just entered the room and looked around, obviously searching for something or someone.
Then he spotted their table, Ryo waved at him and he waved back.
Kazuya stared at him, couldn’t move, then he saw Jin’s eyes falling onto him and the older one immediately stopped; stared, as well.
Kazuya was sure time had stopped. Every sound vanished from his ears, he didn’t see anything else than Jin’s figure a few meters away from him, those eyes looking back at his and everything around him had disappeared into oblivion.
They held each other’s gaze, not even blinking their eyes for a second, then Kazuya slowly got up, his knees a bit shaky.
“Kazuya”, Jin said quietly.
With that, everything started to move again, the sounds came back, Kazuya noticed the others staring at them, throwing looks from him to Jin and back. He took note of his numb hands, his shaky knees.
The world started to move normally again, without feeling in place, though.
And just like that, Jin had stepped back into his life…
------------------------------------------
Well, you know what happens next --- this is exactly where the prologue started, so next chap will pick up there again, where the prologue ended.
Hope that's not too confusing, but it really shouldn't be.
Oh, how they just nearly missed each other for seconds, minutes, all the time... It's a pity. But now, they met and now, it can truly start XD
Thanks so, so much for reading ♥
Kazuya smiled and nodded in agreement. “It’s been so long, since high school, but you didn’t change that much, at all.”
Koki grinned and leaned in, sucking his soda empty through the straw. “You haven’t changed, either.”
“How have you been?”
Tilting his head, Koki put the empty bottle aside. “I’ve been doing well. School was the same, until the end; always the same people. Ueda, Nakamaru, Akanishi…” His voice trailed off and he threw Kazuya a look. „Well, until Nakamaru and Akanishi graduated a year ago.”
Kazuya tried not to react to the simple mention of Jin’s name and nodded calmly. “I missed the place.”
“You could have come visit anytime.”
Smiling, Kazuya leaned back, shook his head. “I know; my parents asked a lot. But as a newbie in the team I had to train really hard to keep up with everyone.”
Koki nodded. “I see.”
“Give me your phone number, okay? We should meet up sometime for a drink or a meal.”
Getting out his mobile, the older one glanced at Kazuya. “I saw Akanishi a while ago.”
Kazuya blinked at him. “Jin?”
“Yeah, he seems to have gotten into a Tokyo university. I saw him with some friends, but didn’t get around to talk to him, actually.”
“That’s a pity. But I am sure he’s doing well.”
“So, you guys didn’t have any contact?”
Kazuya smiled at that, shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen him, since I have left home.”
Koki nodded. “I thought he probably contacted you, when he came to Tokyo.”
“Why would he?”
“That’s a stupid question”, Koki answered and gave Kazuya a piece of paper with his contact information. “He went after you that day, didn’t he? It was obvious you turned him down, when he came back.”
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder. “It was a fling for him.”
“He didn’t date anyone until he graduated, Kame.”
“I’ve gotten what I wanted then. Make the world a bit better.”
Koki laughed and stood up from the pedestrian sidewalk they had sat at next to each other. “He never admitted it in front of us, but I am still sure he fell in love with you in those seven days.”
Kazuya looked up at Koki who leaned against the timetable sign for the bus he was waiting for. It was strange; even though they hadn’t met in years, he could still talk to Koki like that and Koki still treated him the way he always had.
“We’re both boys, Koki. We didn’t really fall in love.”
Shrugging a shoulder, the blonde held out his hand to help Kazuya get up, as his bus came. “If you didn’t, fine. He did.”
Kazuya didn’t know what to say to that. He had expected to small talk with Koki for a bit, but instead the conversation had turned out to bring up all of his forgotten fears and mistakes from the past.
“Call me, okay?”
Kazuya just nodded, let Koki get into the bus and watched it drive off.
He turned on his heel and sighed to himself, wondering how Koki could have managed to bring up all this in a ten-minutes-conversation after their first meeting in two years.
That boy still was a bit too straight forward and always spoke his mind.
Most likely, Kazuya thought now and entered the next subway station, Koki had had those things in his mind for all that time, wanting to let Kazuya know.
That was just how Koki was, always had been.
Kazuya took the next train, leaned against the door, as it closed and flipped open his cell phone. It was a new one, he had bought it about a year ago, but still, he had that picture in his files, of him and Jin from that sunny Saturday in Yokohama, both of them having ice cream and flashing smiles.
The printed one lay in a drawer in his working desk and he hadn’t took it out in a while.
Closing the mobile, Kazuya got out next station, noticing himself watching out.
He hadn’t known what had happened to Jin, where he had went after graduating from school. But now, that Koki had told him Jin was here, too, in Tokyo, Kazuya strangely felt as if he’d cross his way any time.
What was ridiculous, since that hadn’t happened in a whole year.
“Kame!”
He turned, as he heard someone call his name and looked around, until he made out Tegoshi in the crowd.
“Off to today’s job?”
Kazuya nodded and walked on, as Tegoshi was beside him.
They had both just graduated from school, but still went to the same university, since it was attached to the school they had been at.
That way, they could stay in their teams, going on with their sports.
There had been no tests and no transfer problems that way and Kazuya had noticed that for once, it had been nice like that. He didn’t have to change schools, get out of the environment he had gotten used to.
He could just have stayed.
“How was today’s game”, Kazuya wanted to know, as they left the station.
Tegoshi grinned and flashed a peace sign. “We won three goals ahead.”
“How many were yours?”
He took one of his fingers down. “One.”
“Well, that’s good then, isn’t it?” Kazuya turned at a corner, walking down the street.
“It is. They consider taking me into the team for the next league.” Tegoshi dashed ahead to the building they were aiming for. “How about you? Did you get to the tryouts?”
Kazuya nodded, followed the smaller one inside. “They are next month.”
“Shall I come and watch?”
“If you have time.”
“Sure, I’ll come then”, Tegoshi said and smiled brightly, as they walked into the studio at the third floor.
“There you are, guys”, Yamashita greeted them and raised a hand. “I thought you’d leave me the job to do it myself.”
Tegoshi smirked and took off his jacket, catching a glimpse of himself in one of the mirrors, as he touched his hair. “Who would still buy it then”, he chirped and walked off into the mask.
Kazuya laughed slightly, as Yamashita mumbled: “He’s acting too superior for a newbie.”
“He doesn’t mean it in a bad way.”
“I figured that bit”, Yamashita answered and sat down on one of the chairs. “Up for a group date tonight?”
Kazuya tilted his head, shook it then. “I have training later today.”
“You can’t always use that excuse, Kame.”
“But it’s simply how it is.”
Yamashita sighed. “Well, then it can’t be helped. Or do you actually have a girlfriend?”
Blinking, Kazuya put down his bag. He almost said he wouldn’t ever have a girlfriend; not as long as he felt like that for another boy, but he figured that wouldn’t be appropriate. Yamashita clearly didn’t need to know. So he simply said: “I don’t have time for girls.”
“Ah, Kame”, Yamashita whined and clenched his shirt over his chest. “Don’t say that - when I was your age I had time for nothing else, but girls.”
“Don’t talk like an old man, when you’re only a year older than me.” Kazuya laughed. “And you still have time for nothing else beside the girls.”
“I’m doing this job, don’t I?”
“To impress them, yeah.”
“Why else would you do it?” Yamashita leaned back a bit.
“Because it’s easily made money”, Kazuya answered calmly.
“That’s cheap. You know, a friend of mine always says, this job is like prostitution. The way you state your reasons, only makes it sound even more like that.”
Kazuya threw him a look, walked over to the mask, as he saw Tegoshi coming back.
“Tell your friend, he has no clue about the hardship in life then.”
On Sunday’s, Ueno Park was always quite crowded.
Kazuya had wanted to meet up with Koki about thirty minutes ago, but it seemed they had both gotten the other one wrong and thus, waited at different entrances.
Koki had called him and now, Kazuya was on his way down the street, back to the station, to take the entrance there and meet Koki.
He walked up the steps and saw Koki at the other side, as a girl rushed past him, left him puzzled for a moment.
Sometimes, he still thought he’d see her.
It wasn’t as bad as the way he always looked out for Jin. But there were girls reminding him of that one girl.
The smell of a perfume, the long, slightly curled hair, the way they moved.
Sometimes, it struck Kazuya that it was just exactly the way she had smelled, looked or moved and then, for a moment, it hurt.
But then, whenever it did, he’d remember that it was nothing, that he had mistaken the pain and the feelings he had had back then for love.
But it clearly hadn’t been, it could not have been, Kazuya had realised. Not, after what he had felt towards Jin.
“Kame!”
He turned his head and looked at Koki, who approached him with quick steps.
“Hey, Koki. Sorry for the wait.”
“Ah, it’s fine. Let’s go to Ameyoko street first, okay?” Koki walked down the stairs and Kazuya turned, following him. “I am dying of hunger.”
They went into a small, traditional restaurant, ordered their dishes and took a seat at one of the windows.
“How’s Ueda doing?”
Koki shrugged a shoulder. “He’s fine, I think. We sometimes text each other, but I don’t see him anymore, since I came to Tokyo.”
“Did he go after Nakamaru?”
Koki looked up, raised a brow.
Kazuya chuckled a bit. “Come on, those two were obvious, weren’t they?”
“I think so”, Koki answered and leaned back. “You don’t seem to have a problem with that.”
“Why would I?”
Shrugging, the older one took his glass of green tea, nipped. “They had a pretty hard time, when it leaked through last year.”
Kazuya bit his lip, nodded slowly. “I can imagine.”
“Ueda distanced himself from us, somehow. Nakamaru came to drop him off at school and pick him up each day.”
Kazuya blinked. “Did they live together?”
Koki shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t think so. They do now.”
“So, they are really serious.”
Koki leaned back, as a waitress brought their meals. He waited until she was gone again, before he took his chopsticks and looked at Kazuya again. “They were, when I last met them.”
“That’s good then”, Kazuya commented.
“You’re pretty much alone, when you think that way.”
“You think so, too, don’t you, Koki?”
The older one shrugged a shoulder, started to eat. “They are both my friends.”
“And I am sure they know that and are thankful for that”, Kazuya remarked, before he started to eat, too.
“I would have been the same, if it had been for you and Jin, Kame.”
The latter looked up and managed a smile. “Don’t be that persistent about that, Koki. What makes you, anyway?”
Koki looked down again. “I felt bad for Jin, it was pathetic to watch him.”
Kazuya stopped eating, his hands froze.
“He obviously missed you and he was in a complete dilemma, as he didn’t know how to go on.”
Kazuya gulped down the lump in his throat. “Did he talk to you about it?”
Koki shook his head. “I tried to, but he never did. He just once said that he couldn’t go on like before, that was all.”
“Well, I am sure he got over it much easier than you…”
“Kame”, Koki said calmly. “Whatever happened that week, you’re a fool if you think you just did that for fun or to win a bet or to simply change Jin.”
Kazuya avoided looking at him. “I know that myself, Koki. But it was only a week, a few days. That’s not like Ueda and Nakamaru, who shared a past of several years.”
“You could have it by now.”
Kazuya laughed slightly. “We would not have lasted.”
Koki picked up a piece of pork, sighed. “Really, why did you leave in the first place?”
“I’ve wanted to play baseball.”
“You cut all connections, Kazuya. You obviously didn’t want to be reminded of that place.”
“I’ve just been there for a few months, Koki.”
The older one put his hand to the table. “You were afraid of keeping in contact with Jin, weren’t you?”
Kazuya didn’t answer.
“You’re an idiot, Kame, really.”
“Can’t we change the topic?” Kazuya looked uncomfortable, shifted in his seat. “I don’t know what this is about. That was years ago and we’re all over it, aren’t we?”
Koki kept quiet, picked up his chopsticks again and continued eating.
Taking a deep breath, Kazuya did the same, unsure how to go on.
“I saw you in a magazine a few days ago.”
Kazuya looked up. “Ah… yes, I earn some money modelling for a magazine.”
“That’s wise. You should use those good looks of yours”, Koki pointed out.
Smiling slightly, Kazuya looked at Koki, watched him eating. “Thanks, Koki.”
“Well, you’ve always been good-looking, so…”
“No”, Kazuya interrupted. “For caring about me. I abandoned you guys and just left without a word and yet you still meet up with me, as if nothing had happened.”
Koki kept silent, then he shrugged a shoulder. “We’re friends, I think.”
Hearing him say that, after two years without any contact, Kazuya had to laugh, but he still appreciated that way of thinking. “That’s good to know.”
They spent the rest of the day shopping, playing games at the arcades and watching a movie together.
It was just as in old times, when they would hang out after school, doing what boys their age did.
Kazuya enjoyed it a lot.
As it got late, they parted at the station and Kazuya took the next train to get home, exhausted, but happy.
He opened his back and looked at the photos he had taken with his mobile, the purikura ones they had taken in a game centre and the things he had bought.
He cursed slightly, as he noticed he had left his jacket in the restaurant.
Getting back the next day would be troublesome, so he got off the next station and took the next train back to Ueno.
It didn’t take long and he got off with the masses of people, looking around to find the right exit.
He saw Koki, as the crowd cleared and just raised his hand, as he noticed Koki talking to someone.
Kazuya’s heart skipped a beat. He only saw the person from behind, but he knew it was Jin from the first glance.
He looked at the train, but couldn’t see the person, Jin was apparently looking at.
The train left and the people around them disappeared into the stair cases.
Kazuya got closer.
“How long have you been dating?”
“It’s been a while now.”
Kazuya swallowed thickly. Jin’s voice still sounded the same. The tone still so indifferent.
“So, it’s finally something serious, I assume”, Koki wanted to know and Kazuya looked at Jin’s back, awaiting his answer in tension.
“You could say that.”
Kazuya still held his breath, as Koki answered: “That’s good to hear, after you played around that much in High School.”
Jin laughed. “Well…”
“You’ve been so depressed, when Kame-chan left, back then.”
Kazuya stared at the scene, as Jin didn’t answer. He would have wanted to see the older one’s face, since he couldn’t know how Jin reacted to that.
And Koki just pushed further: “You liked him, didn’t you? He obviously turned you around in that week you guys were dating.”
Jin laughed and Kazuya felt his heart sink.
“You still remember that? I had already forgotten about that joke between all those girls I dated.”
“Well, I am happy you could find someone who can compare to Kame, at least.”
“I told you, it was a joke, that week. It didn’t mean anything to me”, Jin just answered and walked past Koki, dashed up the stairs without looking back.
Kazuya remained in his spot, unable to move and watched Jin leaving. Koki didn’t notice him right away, only, when he looked up and sighed, he noticed the younger one and choked on his own breath.
“Kame…”
Kazuya moved his head, looked at him.
“What are you doing here?”
“I forgot my jacket in the restaurant.”
Koki nodded. “Ah, I see.”
Kazuya kept silent for a moment. “See, I told you he got over it. It was a joke for both of us.”
Koki gave him a sympathetic look and Kazuya felt the urge to beat him for that. “Kame…”
“You just interpret too much into it, because you saw how serious Ueda was. We’re both not like that”, Kazuya said calmly and walked towards him. “We weren’t serious.”
Koki took a deep breath, then he nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
Smiling, Kazuya patted his shoulder and then walked on. “I’ll see you soon, Koki.”
He didn’t turn around once more, as he left the station, just walked ahead, not actually knowing, where exactly he walked to.
Jin had a new relationship; of course he had, and it certainly wasn’t the first one, since they had parted back then.
Kazuya was sure Jin hadn’t dwelled on it as much as Koki had said he had.
Jin easily got over break ups. He probably had been upset with Kazuya for being the one to break up with him.
Kazuya bit his lip, as he slowed down and looked around, saw the colourful lights and signs surrounding him.
He knew he couldn’t expect it to be different; he had been the one to leave, after all.
But still, it hurt to finally know for sure, Jin was really over it completely.
Because Kazuya wasn’t.
“Great game, guys!”
Kazuya lifted his hand for the millionth time, as it felt to him, since the game was over to receive a high five.
They were in the changing rooms, getting showered and dressed to leave.
Even though they had won the game, they didn’t plan to go out together for drinks to celebrate the victory.
Kazuya thought it was a bit sad they didn’t, but it had never been like that. They were team mates, but strangely never became friends.
He looked at his watch, saw it was a quarter to eight and quickly stuffed his things into his bag, running out of the changing room with bidding everyone a quick goodbye. If he hurried, he would still get the train back home at eight.
“Kazuya!”
He stopped and turned just in front of the exit door, as he saw Tegoshi and Koki in the huge entrance hall.
Tegoshi had called him, and Koki looked rather surprised. Kazuya laughed slightly.
“You came!”
Both of them threw the other one a look, before they walked over to Kazuya.
“Koki, that’s Tegoshi Yuya”, Kazuya introduced them. “Yuya, that’s Tanaka Koki, a friend from the high school I went to before.”
“Ah”, Tegoshi beamed and bowed to Koki. “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise”, Koki answered and smiled friendly.
“The game was great!” Tegoshi turned to Kazuya again, gripping his hands. “You played so well.”
Kazuya laughed slightly. “You don’t even have a clue, Yuya; but thanks.”
“No, he’s right; you did great”, Koki interfered and grinned.
Kazuya tilted his head, laughing embarrassedly. “Why don’t we all go out then, celebrating the victory?”
“Ah, I can’t, sorry. My part time job starts at nine.” Koki made an apologetic gesture.
“That’s too bad”, Kazuya said disappointed. “I’d like to celebrate a bit.”
Tegoshi lifted his hand, showed the display of his mobile to him. “Yamashita asks if we have time for a group date.”
Kazuya pulled a face. “He’s so eager to get us girls.”
“Well, we don’t have to pick one, after all. Let’s just have some fun then.”
Kazuya nodded, gave in. “Okay, why not?”
As the three of them left the building, Kazuya looked at his watch, saw it was just a minute past eight. “I missed the train, however.”
At the station, they parted from Koki and took the next train to get to the restaurant Yamashita had texted Tegoshi they’d be at.
“He showed them the magazine”, Tegoshi told Kazuya. “Yamashita called me earlier, and he said they saw us in that shooting we recently had together, you know?”
“Desperate girls”, Kazuya commented dryly. “My favourite ones.”
Tegoshi chuckled a bit. “You don’t really have favourite types, do you? You reject every girl.”
“Eeeh…?” Kazuya threw him a look.
“I’ve actually been just around the corner, when sometimes girls would have confessed to you. You turn them down really politely, Kame.”
“You’re a brat, Yuya”, Kazuya said. “Eavesdropping is the worst.”
“I wasn’t. It always was accidentally.”
Kazuya just gave him a knowing look.
“Is there a reason why you don’t pick any girl?” Tegoshi eyed him curiously.
Shrugging a shoulder, the taller one sat back in his seat. “I’m not interested and I don’t have time.”
Nodding, Tegoshi accepted that answer. “Well, I don’t think any of the girls Yamashita is going to introduce us to is going to be the right one, but it’ll surely be fun, though.”
Kazuya didn’t answer to that and they kept quiet, until they got off and reached the restaurant.
They walked in, being greeted by the shop’s owner and Yamashita spotted them, waving them over.
“I’m happy you still made it, we lack guys here”, Yamashita said and Kazuya and Tegoshi bowed slightly to the rest of the people.
He introduced the five girls to them, then the only other boy still with him.
Tegoshi sat down next to Kazuya, who had taken the seat next to Yamashita’s friend, Ryo, as Kazuya remembered his name.
“Tomo said you had an important game, just until now”, the girl across from Kazuya asked and he desperately tried to remember her name.
“Ah, yes, it was the tryout game for the national B team.”
“His team won”, Tegoshi interfered and gave them a smile, so cute, Kazuya was sure he had never seen it before. Tegoshi surely was unpredictable.
“Oh, that’s great!” All five girls started to get excited over it at once, and even though he knew they were cute, Kazuya still couldn’t stop himself from finding it slightly annoying.
“Ah, hey”, he heard Yamashita saying then and looked up, saw him talking on the mobile phone. “We’re just around the corner; are you home?”
Kazuya tilted his head, listened to Yamashita’s conversation with one ear, while pretending to be interested in the girls’ questions.
“Then, why don’t you drop by, when you walk home? We’re at that Italian restaurant and a guy short.”
Kazuya wondered just how many people Yamashita planned to drag into the group date and slightly grinned at that thought.
“Yeah, Ryo’s there, too.” He gave the phone to the boy next to him. “He wants to make sure you’re really there.”
“Hey, buddy”, Ryo said and laughed slightly. “Yeah, it’s nice. Drop by, okay?” They talked for a bit more, then Ryo hung up and gave the phone back to Yamashita. “He says he peeks in on his way home.”
“He misses all the fun”, Yamashita pointed out.
Ryo leaned in and Kazuya heard him say: “He doesn’t need this; after all, he has a cute girlfriend, right?”
“She doesn’t need to know he’s joining us here.”
Kazuya blinked over that, wondering why exactly they invited someone who had a girlfriend to a group date. But they dropped the topic there and focused on the girls again, so Kazuya did the same.
Tegoshi talked about his last soccer match and Kazuya didn’t believe the girls were as interested as they seemed to be, but yet, it kept their attention away from him, so he didn’t complain.
As the door was opened, the bells above it ringed and Kazuya threw a bored look, before he looked back at the girl in front of him again; but then, he blinked his eyes, raising his look again.
Jin had just entered the room and looked around, obviously searching for something or someone.
Then he spotted their table, Ryo waved at him and he waved back.
Kazuya stared at him, couldn’t move, then he saw Jin’s eyes falling onto him and the older one immediately stopped; stared, as well.
Kazuya was sure time had stopped. Every sound vanished from his ears, he didn’t see anything else than Jin’s figure a few meters away from him, those eyes looking back at his and everything around him had disappeared into oblivion.
They held each other’s gaze, not even blinking their eyes for a second, then Kazuya slowly got up, his knees a bit shaky.
“Kazuya”, Jin said quietly.
With that, everything started to move again, the sounds came back, Kazuya noticed the others staring at them, throwing looks from him to Jin and back. He took note of his numb hands, his shaky knees.
The world started to move normally again, without feeling in place, though.
And just like that, Jin had stepped back into his life…
------------------------------------------
Well, you know what happens next --- this is exactly where the prologue started, so next chap will pick up there again, where the prologue ended.
Hope that's not too confusing, but it really shouldn't be.
Oh, how they just nearly missed each other for seconds, minutes, all the time... It's a pity. But now, they met and now, it can truly start XD
Thanks so, so much for reading ♥