Make You Mine /// Eighth Lie: Leaving You
Title: Make You Mine
Pairing: Akanishi Jin x Kazuya Kamenashi //Akame//
Genre: Romance, AU
Rating: PG-13 and up.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I don't make profit with this.
Summary: The first impression counts and Kazuya's first impression of Jin is not the best. However, Jin is determined to get to know Kazuya - and Kazuya makes up a few lies, which suddenly become huge... And then, the tide is turning.
A/N: English isn't my mother tongue, but I've been living in the UK for quite a time, so I basically write and speak well. You're welcome to correct any mistakes, though. Of course.
Urgh... took me a while, huh? But loooooooook, I made it!!! *happy dance* This chapter was hard to write, as I wasn't so sure myself, where exactly, I was going, but I had an idea and now, I know where all this is leading to.
Did you think Kazuya was the only liar around?... Well, think again ;)
Enjoy the read :)
♥
Previous Chapters:
First Lie: Who am I?
Second Lie: Find Me
Third Lie: Exposed
Fourth Lie: On Repeat
Fifth Lie: More of You
Sixth Lie: Not My Fault
Seventh Lie: Out of Reach
Eighth Lie: Leaving You
Jin really had no idea when he had become this patient.
Usually, he easily lost his temper - and his interest. But with Kazuya, everything was different. He had lost his temper several times, but he had never lost his interest so far. Not even now that he lay next to the other man, watching him sleep.
Kazuya had turned to Jin, lying far from him in the huge bed. His posture was relaxed, his expression peaceful and innocent and Jin knew that in a few minutes, he would open those eyes, knowing he had to get up and work.
They shared a bed, Jin thought, like two innocent kids; lying next to each other, but with enough space between them to fit a third person there.
Jin didn’t really get why exactly he hadn’t dropped Kazuya yet. That guy was a troublemaker; during the past months, he had lied to Jin more than anyone else had before in all his life and on top of that, he wouldn’t give in and sleep with Jin.
He had been close to it, so close, but that one night had ruined it and now, he felt like the whole game had started all over again.
He would go insane and honestly, who could blame him for that?
Slowly, careful to not make a noise, Jin left the bed and went to the living room, where he picked up Kazuya’s mobile and opened his contacts.
Quite few, Jin thought and raised a brow, before he found what he had been looking for.
It just rang two times, then someone picked up.
“Kamenashi-san. It’s rare for you to call me.”
Jin sat down on the arm rest of a chair. “It’s Akanishi, Detective Nakagawa.”
The detective kept quiet for a moment. “What is it you need from me, Akanishi?”
“The truth”, Jin answered. “What is going on between Ueda and Kamenashi?”
“If Kamenashi decides not to tell you, there’s nothing I could say.”
“He told me, but I have reasons to assume he wasn’t quite honest with me.”
Nakagawa made a humming sound. “What did he tell you?”
Licking his lips, Jin hesitated for just a second. “That Ueda stalked him and that he got a restraining order, because he had done that to Kamenashi’s flat before.”
“In short, that is what happened”, Nakagawa answered.
“What do you mean, in short?”
“I think the emotional strain put on Kamenashi doesn’t appear in this statement and the way I got to know him, he won’t ever admit it. But if you’d ask me….” The detective stopped, hesitated. “I would say he has been through hell.”
Jin kept quiet. “So, now, it might be happening again?”
“To Kamenashi, it must feel just like that.”
“What can I do?” The question was out, before Jin had realised it.
“I don’t know. There isn’t much anyone can do”, Nakagawa answered. “I’m not a psychologist, Akanishi. I am a detective.”
“Is it true that Ueda has an alibi for that night?”
“Yes, and that leads us to a dead end. So, if you remember anything or notice anything, make sure to let us know. Kamenashi usually holds back a lot from us, what makes it even harder to solve this.”
Jin looked at the floor. “I will.” He then bid his goodbye and kept sitting in his spot for a little longer, before he turned. “Like hell”, Jin repeated lowly to himself and looked up. He jumped, as he saw Kazuya standing leaned against the doorframe to the bedroom, watching Jin with calm, clear eyes.
“I told you I didn’t lie”, he said.
Jin shrugged. “It’s not like I trust you.”
Kazuya lowered his look and nodded, before he turned. “I’ll go down.”
Jin waited for a moment, before he put Kazuya’s cell phone back to the table. “I can order something up to eat.”
Kazuya turned his head shortly, as Jin came back into the bedroom. “I’m going down to work.”
“Kazuya…” Jin stopped and searched the right words. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
Calmly, Kazuya put on his trousers, buttoned them. “What is it?”
“For Christmas, we hold a party each year and…”
“I know”, Kazuya interrupted and stopped his movements. “You organize it together with Tatsuya. I know that.”
“What do you want me to do?”
Jin sat down on the edge of the bed. He wore a simple white shirt and boxers, his hair was still messy and Kazuya thought how much he wanted to bury his hands into that mess again. It had been addictive, kissing Jin like that and have Jin press him to the soft and cold leather of the couch. The weight on him, the heat that had slowly made Kazuya lose his own will. It had been more than addictive.
But because of that, Kazuya had had to end it; push Jin back and stop him from driving Kazuya any further than he had gone already.
Still, Jin had stayed with him, had slept next to Kazuya and had not sent him home.
“I would appreciate it, if you could keep me out of the organisation for that party. I take extra work for you here in the hotel.”
Jin nodded. “It’s fine with me.”
Kazuya buttoned his shirt and looked for a necktie. “Thank you.”
For a moment, Jin just watched Kazuya getting dressed. His featured were delicate, but Jin couldn’t read them at all. Nothing in that face showed what Kazuya was thinking at the moment.
“Are you afraid of that guy?” Jin had asked it, before he had even thought about that question.
Kazuya stopped his movements and Jin noticed that his fingers started to tremble. He put on a smile, but it failed and he turned away from Jin, looking into the mirror to arrange his necktie.
“No. Why would I?”
Jin got up and stepped behind Kazuya. “You’re usually so good in lying to me. Until now, you never failed to tell me lie. But right now, you’re doing quite a pathetic job.”
Kazuya’s eyes met Jin’s in the mirror. “You have no idea, what it had been like.”
Jin didn’t say a word, he just held Kazuya’s look with his eyes.
“He was everywhere. I couldn’t escape him and no matter, where I turned, no matter where I tried to hide, he would be there, wait for me to come out.” Kazuya shrugged, but his voice didn’t sound as indifferent as he tried to make it sound. “I don’t want it to start all over again.”
Jin swallowed thickly. Kazuya was right; he couldn’t even imagine what it had been like. He reached out his hands and slowly took Kazuya’s, laced their fingers. Kazuya lowered his look and shivered, but his hands returned Jin’s grip.
“I won’t let him come near you, okay?” Jin pulled Kazuya’s back to his chest and nuzzled his cheek against the soft brunette hair.
Kazuya smiled and pulled Jin’s arms up, crossing them in front of his chest, so that he was embraced by Jin. “I told you, I don’t need anyone to protect me.”
“Looks like you weren’t all that fine by yourself.”
Kazuya bit his lip and looked at them in the mirror across. “If he’s really going to do it again, nothing will keep him from it.”
Jin knew there was no use in arguing it; Kazuya was terrified by that man and no matter what Jin would say, he would not be able to take that fear away.
He would have to make Kazuya believe it with actions.
Jin pressed his lips to Kazuya’s temple. “I will keep an eye on you. I wouldn’t ever let him come near you, not in my hotel.”
Kazuya managed a smile and nuzzled closer into Jin’s embrace. “I’ll take you at your word.” Jin tilted his head to close his lips over Kazuya jaw and Kazuya closed his eyes in delight. “Jin?”
“Hm?” He nibbled Kazuya’s skin, made his way to the spot, where the vein pulsed unsteadily.
Kazuya hesitated, as he opened his eyes again and saw their reflection in the mirror. “Can I bring Vanilla here again? I’m not much home lately.”
Jin smiled and lifted his head. “Sure. I don’t really mind.”
“So…” Kazuya turned to Jin now, “is it okay for me to stay here?”
Meeting Kazuya’s eyes, Jin raised a hand to pull a loose strand from Kazuya’s face. “I will probably keep you company at times.”
“I’d like that”, Kazuya answered.
Jin leaned in to catch Kazuya’s lips in a kiss. “How much longer will you make me wait then?”
“Well…” Kazuya wanted to ask about Jin’s feelings, about the confession he had made and how Jin viewed that matter, but he couldn’t bring up the courage.
“Never mind”, Jin just said and turned away, as he noticed Kazuya’s insecurity. “I’ll take a shower, so I’ll see you downstairs.”
Kazuya waited, until Jin was gone, before he went to the living room to get down.
He remembered his mobile phone, as he was about to go down, because it started ringing. Kazuya hurried over and frowned, seeing an unknown ID. “Hello?”
“I warned you, didn’t I?”
Kazuya’s breath got caught in his throat and he froze. “Who’s that?”
“You think you can hide? You’ll regret that decision.”
“What are you after”, Kazuya asked and he was surprised at himself how controlled and cold his voice sounded.
“I won’t let you be with him. You don’t deserve him.”
“Jin?” Kazuya trembled.
“I warned you”, the voice repeated, low and in just a whisper. “It’s your own mistake.”
The connection was cut and Kazuya blankly stared at the wall across, slowly lowered the phone. From the bathroom, he could hear water running. Kazuya turned and looked at the bathroom door; his heart pounded loudly.
So loud that it shut out every other sound.
He didn’t call again.
Kazuya hadn’t told Jin nor anyone else. That call had confirmed what he had suspected all along.
Ueda did not have anything to do with all this. It was someone else; just again, someone who aimed on destroying Kazuya’s life.
What had he done to deserve that? To deserve having people making his life a living hell?
“Kame, you’re okay?” Kazuya turned his head to that and mustered a quick smile.
“Sure.”
Nakamaru had come over to have a look at the hotel and to see Kazuya in general. Since they had graduated from university and both had started to work, they didn’t see each other a lot anymore and now that Kazuya practically lived in the manager’s suite of the hotel, it had gotten even less.
“I can’t believe these guys hired you. Weren’t there any applicants with better references?”
Kazuya raised a brow, as they stepped into the hotel bar. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Nakamaru laughed and looked around, giving appreciating comments about the bar.
“Since my day is finished, why don’t we have a drink? You can meet Yamashita-san, the one who made it possible for me to start working here.”
“Oh, sure”, Nakamaru said and followed Kazuya to the counter.
“Ah, Kame-chan”, Yamashita greeted him, as he came from the kitchen. “You haven’t come visit me in a while.”
“Sorry, it’s been busy. How is Yuya doing?”
“Quite fine, he’s taken your spot by now.”
Kazuya gave a satisfied smile. “This is Nakamaru Yuichi, a very good friend of mine.”
“Ah”, Yamashita bowed his head. “Nice to meet you.”
“Could we get some of your specials, Yamashita-san?” Kazuya sat down and smiled. “I just finished working.”
Yamashita started to pour them drinks, while he kept up the conversation. “Where’s Jin then?”
“He’s been out since morning. But he should be back anytime soon.”
“Has he been to Fairy View?”
Kazuya nodded. “They’re planning the Christmas party.”
“It’ll be held here this year, won’t it?” Nakamaru bowed his head, as Yamashita placed a glass in front of him. “It’s the most popular Christmas party.”
Kazuya grinned at him. “Shall I get tickets for you and Yuri-chan?”
Nakamaru gave him a surprised look. “Could you?”
Kazuya shrugged. “Akanishi is organising it without me, but I guess I could ask him.”
“Yuri would freak out!”
Yamashita laughed. “I’ll make sure Kame won’t forget about it.”
Nakamaru beamed, before he leaned in and threw his arms around Kazuya, causing them both o almost fall off their chairs.
It was Kazuya’s laughter that greeted Jin, as he came in. It was a rare noise and he stopped to watch the scenery in front of him.
Some guy had his arms around Kazuya and Kazuya seemed just all too comfortable, while Yamashita laughed with them.
Jin raised a brow and stepped closer, giving Kazuya’s head a light smack.
“What are you doing?”
“Ow”, Kazuya mumbled and turned to him. “What was that for?”
“Flirting with other guys”, Jin just said and then eyed the Kazuya’s company. “Ah”, he said and pointed at Nakamaru.
“Nice to meet you”, Nakamaru greeted him and put on a smile. “Formally, this time.”
Jin threw Kazuya a look. “Nakamaru Yuichi, isn’t it? The real one.”
“The one and only”, Nakamaru said. He checked his watch and gave Kazuya an apologetic look. “Sorry, but Yuri’s waiting. I need to go.”
“That’s fine. I’ll see you out.” Kazuya wanted to get up, but Nakamaru held him back.
“It’s fine. Finish your drink. I’ll see you sometime.”
“Say Yuri-chan I said hello.”
“Sure.” Nakamaru bowed slightly to Jin and Yamashita, before he hurried out.
“What a cheerful guy. He oddly suits his name better than you did”, Jin commented.
Kazuya rolled his eyes and turned to the counter again.
“Looks like Jin was jealous”, Yamashita noticed.
“Of what?” Jin sat down, too and without saying a word, Yamashita started to prepare him a drink. “It’s not like there was anything to be jealous about.”
Yamashita tilted his head and glanced at Kazuya. “What do you mean?”
“It’s not like I was in a relationship with Kazuya. So, I basically don’t care for him flirting around.”
What a contradictory personality, Kazuya thought. Was the man next to him the same who had promised to protect him just a week ago?
Kazuya raised a brow and emptied his glass. “In that case, you won’t mind that we had some good sex upstairs, before I showed him around.” He put on a nice smile and got up from his chair.
Jin followed Kazuya out with an annoyed look. “The word ‘Diva’ got a whole new meaning ever since I have gotten to know that guy.”
Yamashita laughed quietly and took Kazuya’s glass to wash it. “He still didn’t let you?”
Jin growled and put his head to the counter. “I hate him.”
Yamashita smiled. “It’s strange, though, that you keep him by your side for this long. Usually, it’s all about sex for you and now, you’re starting to act like it was about the guy.”
“Did you look at him?” Jin raised his head. “I’d hate myself forever, if I didn’t get him laid at least once. So, if I have to act out the nice, gentle, patient boyfriend, I will do that. I guess it’ll be worth it.”
Yamashita raised a brow. “I think he knows that. That’s why you won’t get him laid.”
Jin glanced at Yamashita. “Want a bet?”
Yamashita shrugged. “What am I going to win?”
“My disgrace as a man. Isn’t that enough?”
“Okay, I’m in.” Yamashita put away the glass. “He’ll only let you lay him, once you say those three magical words. Or convey it in some other way.”
Jin looked at him for a moment. “That’s easy.”
“You’ll have to mean it, too, Jin. He will know.”
“What do you know”, Jin asked.
“I think he’s just pretty smart and sensitive to that matter. He’ll know if you’re dishonest with him.”
Jin downed his drink and got up, too. “As if he’s been ever honest with me”, he mumbled and left the bar to look for Kazuya.
It had been a week, since Kazuya had told him about Ueda and since then, today, Jin had met Ueda again for the first time.
It had been strange, having in mind that the calm and collected man across from him was actually a crazy stalker and had made another person’s life a living hell.
Ueda hadn’t said a single word about Kazuya this time, he had not even asked, if Jin had followed his advice.
Jin wondered, if he observed them, if he knew exactly, what was going on between Jin and Kazuya. And if he was going to do something about it.
Jin wasn’t quite sure yet, what he would do about it, but eventually, Ueda would come here for the party, at some point and Jin wasn’t sure how he would keep Kazuya out of all that.
In the end, they would face each other at the party.
Jin sighed and as he saw Kazuya at reception, he walked over and without a word, pulled him at his arm to the office.
Jin closed the door and turned to Kazuya. “Don’t you feel ashamed of saying things like that?”
Kazuya shrugged. “Not particularly.”
“I really wonder how anyone would get obsessed with you. You’re so annoying.”
“Because I won’t sleep with you? Sorry, Jin, but I’m not getting intimate with just anybody.”
“Then you should feel at least ashamed of saying something like that about your best friend.”
“Yuichi is not just anybody”, Kazuya said.
Jin made a face. “It’s somehow disgusting to hear you say that name.”
“Shut up, Jin.” Kazuya took off and made his way to the door.
“No way”, Jin countered and caught Kazuya halfway, pressing him to the door.
“I got weak that one time, Jin. But it won’t happen again. I won’t give in.”
“What is it you want to hear from me?” Jin took Kazuya’s shoulders and pushed him hard against the wood. “That I’m in love with you, too?”
There it was, Kazuya thought and his heartbeat sped up. “Well, that’s usually what you would like to hear, after confessing to someone.”
“You’re nothing but trouble”, Jin said and loosened his grip. “It’s so annoying.”
“Yet, I’m still here.”
“I could send you away at any time.”
Kazuya raised his look to Jin’s, their eyes met.
“What?” Jin smirked. “Are you about to beg? ‘Please don’t send me away, Jin’. Is that what you’re about to say?”
It took some strength, but Kazuya raised his chin and gave Jin a cold look. “I don’t need you.”
“You do”, Jin corrected him. “You pretend to be all that strong and that you wouldn’t let anyone close, after what happened to you, but actually, you just want someone to take care of you and protect you.”
Kazuya felt his composure crumble. Any more and he would break down right here. It was all about Jin; he knew, after that call, whatever that recent attack had been about, it was revolving around Jin.
It had happened, because he was with Jin.
Then, why couldn’t he just leave? Take everything and leave? Jin didn’t love him back, so there was nothing he could hold on to. Yet, he held on to that thin straw - that mere chance that Jin could probably develop feelings for him in the long run.
Kazuya just had to try.
“Then”, Kazuya said lowly, “don’t put up an act like you did last week. What was all the talk about? Did you think you’d get me laid by promising me heaven and earth?”
“What’s your problem, Kazuya?” Jin pushed him lightly again. “I thought you wanted trust, so I gave you trust. For the past week, we’ve been sharing a bed and yet, we didn’t have sex. That’s not normal.”
“I want trust”, Kazuya answered and suddenly seemed all calm. “But I also want it to be real and yours isn’t. I’m not looking for some loose sex. The only way I can accept it, is in a relationship.”
Jin looked at Kazuya for a few seconds longer, then, he let go. “In that case, we will have to end whatever it is between us at this point.”
Kazuya kept standing at the door and stared at Jin. “What?”
“I’m not going to have any serious relationship with you.” Jin turned away and took a pen from the table. “That’s something I just can’t do.”
“What’s wrong about me?”
Jin stopped his movement and stared at the pen in his hand for a moment longer. “Nothing.”
“Then, you don’t care that I fell in love with you?” Kazuya swallowed thickly. It hurt more than he had thought it would.
“I don’t need anyone to fall in love with me. If you decide that you want to sleep with me, you’re welcome to let me know at any time. But please spare me that talk about love and feelings. I don’t want to know.”
Jin turned to Kazuya and his eyes, his whole presence was colder than Kazuya had ever seen it before. “Don’t worry. I won’t let you down, concerning the problem with Ueda. I will make sure he will stay away from you, as long as he will have to come here for that party.”
“Jin…”
“And you can stay in the suite and it doesn’t have any effect on your work. It’s just… I don’t need any ties; don’t want them.” Jin put down the pen and the sound of it gently hitting the wood of the table was breaking the silence. “I think that’s all.”
Kazuya stared at Jin in disbelief.
“You can leave. I’ll be going home now.”
Kazuya opened the door and slowly made his way out. He turned again and gave Jin one last look, but Jin had turned away already.
Jin heard the door close and let go of his breath, before he closed his eyes.
This had been harder than expected. But he knew he didn’t have another choice. It was the only thing he could have done.
He desired Kazuya and he desired him more than he had desired anything, anyone in the past five years.
But the conditions were just the wrong ones. He wouldn’t ever be able to give Kazuya what he wanted. A serious relationship was just out of question.
He had made that promise to himself that no one would ever find out, that no one would ever get to know and he would protect that secret by all means.
Jin stayed in the back office for a while longer, watched the time run slowly, before it turned almost midnight.
He left the office and walked through the dining room that was perfectly laid up for breakfast and where dim lights shone from the high ceiling.
This had been his dream; exactly this and everything that came with it. No relationship, no feeling of love or desire would ever destroy this. He had fought for it and he had made so many losses.
He couldn’t afford any more.
Reaching the bar, Jin spotted Yamashita, who was tidying up. No one was around, so Jin walked over and sat down again.
“Looks like you lost the bet”, Yamashita said.
“Who said I lost?”
“Well, if you had won, you’d be upstairs now, having some awesome sex, instead of sitting here and looking all depressed.”
Jin lowered his look and kept silent to that for a long while. Yamashita kept on doing his job, polished glasses and sorted bottles in his shelf.
“I really like him.”
Yamashita stopped his moves and turned to Jin. “I figured that much.”
“That’s why I turned him down. He said he loves me”, Jin murmured.
“That guy is pretty quick to judge.”
“I can’t just play around with him.”
Yamashita nodded. “That wouldn’t be fair, considering the fact that he thinks he’s in love with you.”
“He said he can only accept a serious relationship”, Jin said and watched his friend.
“Hm”, Yamashita made and again, silence stretched between them. Then, he turned to Jin. “And that’s basically the only thing you can’t accept.”
Lowering his look, Jin got lost in thoughts.
Yamashita let him, didn’t say anymore. “I guess I went too far with what I said earlier.”
“No.” Jin shook his head. “It made me realise that I can’t go on like I did.”
Again, it fell silent and for a long while, none of them said anything. Then, Yamashita rounded the counter and sat down next to Jin, placing a glass in front of him.
“Ryo-san was here today.”
Jin threw him a look. “That guy…”
“He seems pretty serious, too.”
Jin sipped from his drink and took a deep breath. “If anyone would have been worth it, it would have been only Kazuya.”
“You should clearly tell Ryo-san.” Yamashita nipped from his drink, too.
“He’s not really getting it. But I’ll make sure to properly talk to him again.”
“You have some responsibility, you know.”
Jin threw Yamashita a look. “I know better than anyone else.”
Yamashita nodded. “You better be careful about Kame.”
Jin lowered his look and gently swirled his glass. He licked his lips and remembered how Kazuya’s skin had tasted, how it had felt to kiss him, have that mouth, those lips and tongue return his kisses in that perfect way. He remembered long fingers messing up his hair, running down his spine, a slender body arching against his.
Yet, what he remembered most and what nagged his heart most, was Kazuya’s sleeping face.
He’d better forget, Jin thought; everything about Kazuya that attracted him so much, he should forget it and lock it away somewhere deep inside of him.
Because he had responsibility; he would always give priority to someone else.
Jin couldn’t afford having his secret leek.
“I’d better be careful about him, yeah”, Jin murmured and stared into the liquid of his glass.
Even if that meant that he had to build more and more lies.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Ah, two liars, this is getting worse.
Thanks for reading, everyone :D ♥
Pairing: Akanishi Jin x Kazuya Kamenashi //Akame//
Genre: Romance, AU
Rating: PG-13 and up.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I don't make profit with this.
Summary: The first impression counts and Kazuya's first impression of Jin is not the best. However, Jin is determined to get to know Kazuya - and Kazuya makes up a few lies, which suddenly become huge... And then, the tide is turning.
A/N: English isn't my mother tongue, but I've been living in the UK for quite a time, so I basically write and speak well. You're welcome to correct any mistakes, though. Of course.
Urgh... took me a while, huh? But loooooooook, I made it!!! *happy dance* This chapter was hard to write, as I wasn't so sure myself, where exactly, I was going, but I had an idea and now, I know where all this is leading to.
Did you think Kazuya was the only liar around?... Well, think again ;)
Enjoy the read :)
♥
Previous Chapters:
First Lie: Who am I?
Second Lie: Find Me
Third Lie: Exposed
Fourth Lie: On Repeat
Fifth Lie: More of You
Sixth Lie: Not My Fault
Seventh Lie: Out of Reach
Eighth Lie: Leaving You
Jin really had no idea when he had become this patient.
Usually, he easily lost his temper - and his interest. But with Kazuya, everything was different. He had lost his temper several times, but he had never lost his interest so far. Not even now that he lay next to the other man, watching him sleep.
Kazuya had turned to Jin, lying far from him in the huge bed. His posture was relaxed, his expression peaceful and innocent and Jin knew that in a few minutes, he would open those eyes, knowing he had to get up and work.
They shared a bed, Jin thought, like two innocent kids; lying next to each other, but with enough space between them to fit a third person there.
Jin didn’t really get why exactly he hadn’t dropped Kazuya yet. That guy was a troublemaker; during the past months, he had lied to Jin more than anyone else had before in all his life and on top of that, he wouldn’t give in and sleep with Jin.
He had been close to it, so close, but that one night had ruined it and now, he felt like the whole game had started all over again.
He would go insane and honestly, who could blame him for that?
Slowly, careful to not make a noise, Jin left the bed and went to the living room, where he picked up Kazuya’s mobile and opened his contacts.
Quite few, Jin thought and raised a brow, before he found what he had been looking for.
It just rang two times, then someone picked up.
“Kamenashi-san. It’s rare for you to call me.”
Jin sat down on the arm rest of a chair. “It’s Akanishi, Detective Nakagawa.”
The detective kept quiet for a moment. “What is it you need from me, Akanishi?”
“The truth”, Jin answered. “What is going on between Ueda and Kamenashi?”
“If Kamenashi decides not to tell you, there’s nothing I could say.”
“He told me, but I have reasons to assume he wasn’t quite honest with me.”
Nakagawa made a humming sound. “What did he tell you?”
Licking his lips, Jin hesitated for just a second. “That Ueda stalked him and that he got a restraining order, because he had done that to Kamenashi’s flat before.”
“In short, that is what happened”, Nakagawa answered.
“What do you mean, in short?”
“I think the emotional strain put on Kamenashi doesn’t appear in this statement and the way I got to know him, he won’t ever admit it. But if you’d ask me….” The detective stopped, hesitated. “I would say he has been through hell.”
Jin kept quiet. “So, now, it might be happening again?”
“To Kamenashi, it must feel just like that.”
“What can I do?” The question was out, before Jin had realised it.
“I don’t know. There isn’t much anyone can do”, Nakagawa answered. “I’m not a psychologist, Akanishi. I am a detective.”
“Is it true that Ueda has an alibi for that night?”
“Yes, and that leads us to a dead end. So, if you remember anything or notice anything, make sure to let us know. Kamenashi usually holds back a lot from us, what makes it even harder to solve this.”
Jin looked at the floor. “I will.” He then bid his goodbye and kept sitting in his spot for a little longer, before he turned. “Like hell”, Jin repeated lowly to himself and looked up. He jumped, as he saw Kazuya standing leaned against the doorframe to the bedroom, watching Jin with calm, clear eyes.
“I told you I didn’t lie”, he said.
Jin shrugged. “It’s not like I trust you.”
Kazuya lowered his look and nodded, before he turned. “I’ll go down.”
Jin waited for a moment, before he put Kazuya’s cell phone back to the table. “I can order something up to eat.”
Kazuya turned his head shortly, as Jin came back into the bedroom. “I’m going down to work.”
“Kazuya…” Jin stopped and searched the right words. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
Calmly, Kazuya put on his trousers, buttoned them. “What is it?”
“For Christmas, we hold a party each year and…”
“I know”, Kazuya interrupted and stopped his movements. “You organize it together with Tatsuya. I know that.”
“What do you want me to do?”
Jin sat down on the edge of the bed. He wore a simple white shirt and boxers, his hair was still messy and Kazuya thought how much he wanted to bury his hands into that mess again. It had been addictive, kissing Jin like that and have Jin press him to the soft and cold leather of the couch. The weight on him, the heat that had slowly made Kazuya lose his own will. It had been more than addictive.
But because of that, Kazuya had had to end it; push Jin back and stop him from driving Kazuya any further than he had gone already.
Still, Jin had stayed with him, had slept next to Kazuya and had not sent him home.
“I would appreciate it, if you could keep me out of the organisation for that party. I take extra work for you here in the hotel.”
Jin nodded. “It’s fine with me.”
Kazuya buttoned his shirt and looked for a necktie. “Thank you.”
For a moment, Jin just watched Kazuya getting dressed. His featured were delicate, but Jin couldn’t read them at all. Nothing in that face showed what Kazuya was thinking at the moment.
“Are you afraid of that guy?” Jin had asked it, before he had even thought about that question.
Kazuya stopped his movements and Jin noticed that his fingers started to tremble. He put on a smile, but it failed and he turned away from Jin, looking into the mirror to arrange his necktie.
“No. Why would I?”
Jin got up and stepped behind Kazuya. “You’re usually so good in lying to me. Until now, you never failed to tell me lie. But right now, you’re doing quite a pathetic job.”
Kazuya’s eyes met Jin’s in the mirror. “You have no idea, what it had been like.”
Jin didn’t say a word, he just held Kazuya’s look with his eyes.
“He was everywhere. I couldn’t escape him and no matter, where I turned, no matter where I tried to hide, he would be there, wait for me to come out.” Kazuya shrugged, but his voice didn’t sound as indifferent as he tried to make it sound. “I don’t want it to start all over again.”
Jin swallowed thickly. Kazuya was right; he couldn’t even imagine what it had been like. He reached out his hands and slowly took Kazuya’s, laced their fingers. Kazuya lowered his look and shivered, but his hands returned Jin’s grip.
“I won’t let him come near you, okay?” Jin pulled Kazuya’s back to his chest and nuzzled his cheek against the soft brunette hair.
Kazuya smiled and pulled Jin’s arms up, crossing them in front of his chest, so that he was embraced by Jin. “I told you, I don’t need anyone to protect me.”
“Looks like you weren’t all that fine by yourself.”
Kazuya bit his lip and looked at them in the mirror across. “If he’s really going to do it again, nothing will keep him from it.”
Jin knew there was no use in arguing it; Kazuya was terrified by that man and no matter what Jin would say, he would not be able to take that fear away.
He would have to make Kazuya believe it with actions.
Jin pressed his lips to Kazuya’s temple. “I will keep an eye on you. I wouldn’t ever let him come near you, not in my hotel.”
Kazuya managed a smile and nuzzled closer into Jin’s embrace. “I’ll take you at your word.” Jin tilted his head to close his lips over Kazuya jaw and Kazuya closed his eyes in delight. “Jin?”
“Hm?” He nibbled Kazuya’s skin, made his way to the spot, where the vein pulsed unsteadily.
Kazuya hesitated, as he opened his eyes again and saw their reflection in the mirror. “Can I bring Vanilla here again? I’m not much home lately.”
Jin smiled and lifted his head. “Sure. I don’t really mind.”
“So…” Kazuya turned to Jin now, “is it okay for me to stay here?”
Meeting Kazuya’s eyes, Jin raised a hand to pull a loose strand from Kazuya’s face. “I will probably keep you company at times.”
“I’d like that”, Kazuya answered.
Jin leaned in to catch Kazuya’s lips in a kiss. “How much longer will you make me wait then?”
“Well…” Kazuya wanted to ask about Jin’s feelings, about the confession he had made and how Jin viewed that matter, but he couldn’t bring up the courage.
“Never mind”, Jin just said and turned away, as he noticed Kazuya’s insecurity. “I’ll take a shower, so I’ll see you downstairs.”
Kazuya waited, until Jin was gone, before he went to the living room to get down.
He remembered his mobile phone, as he was about to go down, because it started ringing. Kazuya hurried over and frowned, seeing an unknown ID. “Hello?”
“I warned you, didn’t I?”
Kazuya’s breath got caught in his throat and he froze. “Who’s that?”
“You think you can hide? You’ll regret that decision.”
“What are you after”, Kazuya asked and he was surprised at himself how controlled and cold his voice sounded.
“I won’t let you be with him. You don’t deserve him.”
“Jin?” Kazuya trembled.
“I warned you”, the voice repeated, low and in just a whisper. “It’s your own mistake.”
The connection was cut and Kazuya blankly stared at the wall across, slowly lowered the phone. From the bathroom, he could hear water running. Kazuya turned and looked at the bathroom door; his heart pounded loudly.
So loud that it shut out every other sound.
He didn’t call again.
Kazuya hadn’t told Jin nor anyone else. That call had confirmed what he had suspected all along.
Ueda did not have anything to do with all this. It was someone else; just again, someone who aimed on destroying Kazuya’s life.
What had he done to deserve that? To deserve having people making his life a living hell?
“Kame, you’re okay?” Kazuya turned his head to that and mustered a quick smile.
“Sure.”
Nakamaru had come over to have a look at the hotel and to see Kazuya in general. Since they had graduated from university and both had started to work, they didn’t see each other a lot anymore and now that Kazuya practically lived in the manager’s suite of the hotel, it had gotten even less.
“I can’t believe these guys hired you. Weren’t there any applicants with better references?”
Kazuya raised a brow, as they stepped into the hotel bar. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Nakamaru laughed and looked around, giving appreciating comments about the bar.
“Since my day is finished, why don’t we have a drink? You can meet Yamashita-san, the one who made it possible for me to start working here.”
“Oh, sure”, Nakamaru said and followed Kazuya to the counter.
“Ah, Kame-chan”, Yamashita greeted him, as he came from the kitchen. “You haven’t come visit me in a while.”
“Sorry, it’s been busy. How is Yuya doing?”
“Quite fine, he’s taken your spot by now.”
Kazuya gave a satisfied smile. “This is Nakamaru Yuichi, a very good friend of mine.”
“Ah”, Yamashita bowed his head. “Nice to meet you.”
“Could we get some of your specials, Yamashita-san?” Kazuya sat down and smiled. “I just finished working.”
Yamashita started to pour them drinks, while he kept up the conversation. “Where’s Jin then?”
“He’s been out since morning. But he should be back anytime soon.”
“Has he been to Fairy View?”
Kazuya nodded. “They’re planning the Christmas party.”
“It’ll be held here this year, won’t it?” Nakamaru bowed his head, as Yamashita placed a glass in front of him. “It’s the most popular Christmas party.”
Kazuya grinned at him. “Shall I get tickets for you and Yuri-chan?”
Nakamaru gave him a surprised look. “Could you?”
Kazuya shrugged. “Akanishi is organising it without me, but I guess I could ask him.”
“Yuri would freak out!”
Yamashita laughed. “I’ll make sure Kame won’t forget about it.”
Nakamaru beamed, before he leaned in and threw his arms around Kazuya, causing them both o almost fall off their chairs.
It was Kazuya’s laughter that greeted Jin, as he came in. It was a rare noise and he stopped to watch the scenery in front of him.
Some guy had his arms around Kazuya and Kazuya seemed just all too comfortable, while Yamashita laughed with them.
Jin raised a brow and stepped closer, giving Kazuya’s head a light smack.
“What are you doing?”
“Ow”, Kazuya mumbled and turned to him. “What was that for?”
“Flirting with other guys”, Jin just said and then eyed the Kazuya’s company. “Ah”, he said and pointed at Nakamaru.
“Nice to meet you”, Nakamaru greeted him and put on a smile. “Formally, this time.”
Jin threw Kazuya a look. “Nakamaru Yuichi, isn’t it? The real one.”
“The one and only”, Nakamaru said. He checked his watch and gave Kazuya an apologetic look. “Sorry, but Yuri’s waiting. I need to go.”
“That’s fine. I’ll see you out.” Kazuya wanted to get up, but Nakamaru held him back.
“It’s fine. Finish your drink. I’ll see you sometime.”
“Say Yuri-chan I said hello.”
“Sure.” Nakamaru bowed slightly to Jin and Yamashita, before he hurried out.
“What a cheerful guy. He oddly suits his name better than you did”, Jin commented.
Kazuya rolled his eyes and turned to the counter again.
“Looks like Jin was jealous”, Yamashita noticed.
“Of what?” Jin sat down, too and without saying a word, Yamashita started to prepare him a drink. “It’s not like there was anything to be jealous about.”
Yamashita tilted his head and glanced at Kazuya. “What do you mean?”
“It’s not like I was in a relationship with Kazuya. So, I basically don’t care for him flirting around.”
What a contradictory personality, Kazuya thought. Was the man next to him the same who had promised to protect him just a week ago?
Kazuya raised a brow and emptied his glass. “In that case, you won’t mind that we had some good sex upstairs, before I showed him around.” He put on a nice smile and got up from his chair.
Jin followed Kazuya out with an annoyed look. “The word ‘Diva’ got a whole new meaning ever since I have gotten to know that guy.”
Yamashita laughed quietly and took Kazuya’s glass to wash it. “He still didn’t let you?”
Jin growled and put his head to the counter. “I hate him.”
Yamashita smiled. “It’s strange, though, that you keep him by your side for this long. Usually, it’s all about sex for you and now, you’re starting to act like it was about the guy.”
“Did you look at him?” Jin raised his head. “I’d hate myself forever, if I didn’t get him laid at least once. So, if I have to act out the nice, gentle, patient boyfriend, I will do that. I guess it’ll be worth it.”
Yamashita raised a brow. “I think he knows that. That’s why you won’t get him laid.”
Jin glanced at Yamashita. “Want a bet?”
Yamashita shrugged. “What am I going to win?”
“My disgrace as a man. Isn’t that enough?”
“Okay, I’m in.” Yamashita put away the glass. “He’ll only let you lay him, once you say those three magical words. Or convey it in some other way.”
Jin looked at him for a moment. “That’s easy.”
“You’ll have to mean it, too, Jin. He will know.”
“What do you know”, Jin asked.
“I think he’s just pretty smart and sensitive to that matter. He’ll know if you’re dishonest with him.”
Jin downed his drink and got up, too. “As if he’s been ever honest with me”, he mumbled and left the bar to look for Kazuya.
It had been a week, since Kazuya had told him about Ueda and since then, today, Jin had met Ueda again for the first time.
It had been strange, having in mind that the calm and collected man across from him was actually a crazy stalker and had made another person’s life a living hell.
Ueda hadn’t said a single word about Kazuya this time, he had not even asked, if Jin had followed his advice.
Jin wondered, if he observed them, if he knew exactly, what was going on between Jin and Kazuya. And if he was going to do something about it.
Jin wasn’t quite sure yet, what he would do about it, but eventually, Ueda would come here for the party, at some point and Jin wasn’t sure how he would keep Kazuya out of all that.
In the end, they would face each other at the party.
Jin sighed and as he saw Kazuya at reception, he walked over and without a word, pulled him at his arm to the office.
Jin closed the door and turned to Kazuya. “Don’t you feel ashamed of saying things like that?”
Kazuya shrugged. “Not particularly.”
“I really wonder how anyone would get obsessed with you. You’re so annoying.”
“Because I won’t sleep with you? Sorry, Jin, but I’m not getting intimate with just anybody.”
“Then you should feel at least ashamed of saying something like that about your best friend.”
“Yuichi is not just anybody”, Kazuya said.
Jin made a face. “It’s somehow disgusting to hear you say that name.”
“Shut up, Jin.” Kazuya took off and made his way to the door.
“No way”, Jin countered and caught Kazuya halfway, pressing him to the door.
“I got weak that one time, Jin. But it won’t happen again. I won’t give in.”
“What is it you want to hear from me?” Jin took Kazuya’s shoulders and pushed him hard against the wood. “That I’m in love with you, too?”
There it was, Kazuya thought and his heartbeat sped up. “Well, that’s usually what you would like to hear, after confessing to someone.”
“You’re nothing but trouble”, Jin said and loosened his grip. “It’s so annoying.”
“Yet, I’m still here.”
“I could send you away at any time.”
Kazuya raised his look to Jin’s, their eyes met.
“What?” Jin smirked. “Are you about to beg? ‘Please don’t send me away, Jin’. Is that what you’re about to say?”
It took some strength, but Kazuya raised his chin and gave Jin a cold look. “I don’t need you.”
“You do”, Jin corrected him. “You pretend to be all that strong and that you wouldn’t let anyone close, after what happened to you, but actually, you just want someone to take care of you and protect you.”
Kazuya felt his composure crumble. Any more and he would break down right here. It was all about Jin; he knew, after that call, whatever that recent attack had been about, it was revolving around Jin.
It had happened, because he was with Jin.
Then, why couldn’t he just leave? Take everything and leave? Jin didn’t love him back, so there was nothing he could hold on to. Yet, he held on to that thin straw - that mere chance that Jin could probably develop feelings for him in the long run.
Kazuya just had to try.
“Then”, Kazuya said lowly, “don’t put up an act like you did last week. What was all the talk about? Did you think you’d get me laid by promising me heaven and earth?”
“What’s your problem, Kazuya?” Jin pushed him lightly again. “I thought you wanted trust, so I gave you trust. For the past week, we’ve been sharing a bed and yet, we didn’t have sex. That’s not normal.”
“I want trust”, Kazuya answered and suddenly seemed all calm. “But I also want it to be real and yours isn’t. I’m not looking for some loose sex. The only way I can accept it, is in a relationship.”
Jin looked at Kazuya for a few seconds longer, then, he let go. “In that case, we will have to end whatever it is between us at this point.”
Kazuya kept standing at the door and stared at Jin. “What?”
“I’m not going to have any serious relationship with you.” Jin turned away and took a pen from the table. “That’s something I just can’t do.”
“What’s wrong about me?”
Jin stopped his movement and stared at the pen in his hand for a moment longer. “Nothing.”
“Then, you don’t care that I fell in love with you?” Kazuya swallowed thickly. It hurt more than he had thought it would.
“I don’t need anyone to fall in love with me. If you decide that you want to sleep with me, you’re welcome to let me know at any time. But please spare me that talk about love and feelings. I don’t want to know.”
Jin turned to Kazuya and his eyes, his whole presence was colder than Kazuya had ever seen it before. “Don’t worry. I won’t let you down, concerning the problem with Ueda. I will make sure he will stay away from you, as long as he will have to come here for that party.”
“Jin…”
“And you can stay in the suite and it doesn’t have any effect on your work. It’s just… I don’t need any ties; don’t want them.” Jin put down the pen and the sound of it gently hitting the wood of the table was breaking the silence. “I think that’s all.”
Kazuya stared at Jin in disbelief.
“You can leave. I’ll be going home now.”
Kazuya opened the door and slowly made his way out. He turned again and gave Jin one last look, but Jin had turned away already.
Jin heard the door close and let go of his breath, before he closed his eyes.
This had been harder than expected. But he knew he didn’t have another choice. It was the only thing he could have done.
He desired Kazuya and he desired him more than he had desired anything, anyone in the past five years.
But the conditions were just the wrong ones. He wouldn’t ever be able to give Kazuya what he wanted. A serious relationship was just out of question.
He had made that promise to himself that no one would ever find out, that no one would ever get to know and he would protect that secret by all means.
Jin stayed in the back office for a while longer, watched the time run slowly, before it turned almost midnight.
He left the office and walked through the dining room that was perfectly laid up for breakfast and where dim lights shone from the high ceiling.
This had been his dream; exactly this and everything that came with it. No relationship, no feeling of love or desire would ever destroy this. He had fought for it and he had made so many losses.
He couldn’t afford any more.
Reaching the bar, Jin spotted Yamashita, who was tidying up. No one was around, so Jin walked over and sat down again.
“Looks like you lost the bet”, Yamashita said.
“Who said I lost?”
“Well, if you had won, you’d be upstairs now, having some awesome sex, instead of sitting here and looking all depressed.”
Jin lowered his look and kept silent to that for a long while. Yamashita kept on doing his job, polished glasses and sorted bottles in his shelf.
“I really like him.”
Yamashita stopped his moves and turned to Jin. “I figured that much.”
“That’s why I turned him down. He said he loves me”, Jin murmured.
“That guy is pretty quick to judge.”
“I can’t just play around with him.”
Yamashita nodded. “That wouldn’t be fair, considering the fact that he thinks he’s in love with you.”
“He said he can only accept a serious relationship”, Jin said and watched his friend.
“Hm”, Yamashita made and again, silence stretched between them. Then, he turned to Jin. “And that’s basically the only thing you can’t accept.”
Lowering his look, Jin got lost in thoughts.
Yamashita let him, didn’t say anymore. “I guess I went too far with what I said earlier.”
“No.” Jin shook his head. “It made me realise that I can’t go on like I did.”
Again, it fell silent and for a long while, none of them said anything. Then, Yamashita rounded the counter and sat down next to Jin, placing a glass in front of him.
“Ryo-san was here today.”
Jin threw him a look. “That guy…”
“He seems pretty serious, too.”
Jin sipped from his drink and took a deep breath. “If anyone would have been worth it, it would have been only Kazuya.”
“You should clearly tell Ryo-san.” Yamashita nipped from his drink, too.
“He’s not really getting it. But I’ll make sure to properly talk to him again.”
“You have some responsibility, you know.”
Jin threw Yamashita a look. “I know better than anyone else.”
Yamashita nodded. “You better be careful about Kame.”
Jin lowered his look and gently swirled his glass. He licked his lips and remembered how Kazuya’s skin had tasted, how it had felt to kiss him, have that mouth, those lips and tongue return his kisses in that perfect way. He remembered long fingers messing up his hair, running down his spine, a slender body arching against his.
Yet, what he remembered most and what nagged his heart most, was Kazuya’s sleeping face.
He’d better forget, Jin thought; everything about Kazuya that attracted him so much, he should forget it and lock it away somewhere deep inside of him.
Because he had responsibility; he would always give priority to someone else.
Jin couldn’t afford having his secret leek.
“I’d better be careful about him, yeah”, Jin murmured and stared into the liquid of his glass.
Even if that meant that he had to build more and more lies.
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Ah, two liars, this is getting worse.
Thanks for reading, everyone :D ♥