(no subject)
I am so done with Alex. Like more than a person can really fathom. He's a waste of a brother, and normally I'd feel bad saying that, but I don't. Not one bit. He starts an argument with me tonight because he feels he should have free reign over all my stuff just because he's going to college and therefore needs them. This whole thing happened over my freaking alarm clock. He's going to orientation for 2 days and needs my alarm clock so he can wake up. I wouldve given it to him no problem if he hadnt been such an ass about it, thinking he had rights to my shit.
Inevitably, the little argument turned physical. he's been doing that lately. I cant count how many times I've had to step in between him and my mom becase he thinks he can have his way about anything and therefore pushes her around. He always does the same with me, but I'm not some little kid. I can fight back and he forgets this I guess. Tonight though, I couldnt really. So what happened is he nearly strangled me by having his hand on my throat while pushing me into the wall, threw me on the floor by bashing my nose (whihc of course bled like no tomorrow because thats just what it does), and bit my leg while I tried kicking him off of me. That bite left this huge ass bruise on me. Its like one big nasty rectangle. And this is all absolutely ridiculous. I refuse to live in such a dysfunctional house. After all was said and done, my mom basically blamed me for frickin hurting his feelings and not giving him what he asked for, instead of yelling at him or something for all the crap he did to me.
This isnt some stupid pity story. This is me venting about how fucked up this frickin house is. A mom who steals from me, a brother who tries to run the house with his fist, and mom's boyfriend who isnt seen...ever. I really wish I went through with the whole emancipation thing like I planned. Then I wouldnt be living here. I'd have my own place. With actual money that doesnt need to be hidden in order to be saved. I cant express how happy I am to know that my brother will be leaving. I mightve been sad for like a second, but then I think of all the crap he put me through since i was 8, and I just say good riddance. He isnt a stable person, and I'm definitely done with him. I'm not going through this crap anymore.
That was a decent vent. I'm o longer shaking with anger, so I guess mission complete. Sorry if you read that. Just had to get it out.