Although I've never had to deal with the emotional trauma that accompanies rape, I'm pretty sure that what you're feeling is normal. I'm sure that over time, your trust in the *ahem* weaker sex will return. Just take baby steps! And if you really like someone, and he really likes you back, maybe you should share your concerns/fears, and he could probably help assuage them.
At the risk of sounding EXTREMELY patronizing, I always wondered why you acted so ditzy around boys/large groups of people, because I knew that you weren't like that at ALL. And I'm glad you're finally re-realizing all of your amazing qualities and valuing yourself more. And I know some nice guy is going to recognize you for what you are, and appreciate ALL of you. Not just your ass or the ditzy/cute facade you have been putting up for the past few years.
Just to let you know, I don't think you're dumb, lol. Yeah you act ditzy, but that's the bubbly, social Erica everyone knows. I don't think that how people act in social situations is a reflection of their intelligence, that's more of something that you see in a person if you talk to them one on one.
Even though what you're dealing with is extremely tough and will take some effort to overcome, at least be proud of yourself that you recognize the situation. Lot's of girls can be in denial for their whole lives, and I think it's great that you at least know what causes your fears. Maybe counceling is the next step? I say that to most everyone because I've been to councling before and it's definately helped me with my family problems. I hope your fears get alleviated soon either way.
Yea- i did the counseling thing for about 6 months a couple months after it happened. I thought i had worked through it all; which is the weird part. I dont know, we'll see.
"its to the point where im seriously considering getting that eye spray and a rape whistle for my key chain"
i see nothing wrong with that... even if it never amounts to anything (and i certainly hope it does not!!), if having them would make you feel more secure, i think it's a great idea.
arykah, i believe in you. i believe in your worth. i believe in your intelligence and in your inner beauty and everything that entails. you can get past this. no one said it would be easy, or even that it wouldn't take years - or if someone did, ignore that advice, they're an idiot. but anyway. it may take time, and a lot of time at that, but eventually you'll be able to trust men again. who knows? all it may take is one good relationship with one man that you find will not abandon you.
i understand your fears more than you know. they're the worst of my own.
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At the risk of sounding EXTREMELY patronizing, I always wondered why you acted so ditzy around boys/large groups of people, because I knew that you weren't like that at ALL. And I'm glad you're finally re-realizing all of your amazing qualities and valuing yourself more. And I know some nice guy is going to recognize you for what you are, and appreciate ALL of you. Not just your ass or the ditzy/cute facade you have been putting up for the past few years.
LOVE YOU WIGS!!!
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and i must agree, they definatley are, the weaker sex.... though i still dig them, they are weaker. haha
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hahaha but you're wrong-- i am afraid of you. afraid of you every time you ran at me to throw me in the lake!!!!
haha yea. im still bitter.
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Even though what you're dealing with is extremely tough and will take some effort to overcome, at least be proud of yourself that you recognize the situation. Lot's of girls can be in denial for their whole lives, and I think it's great that you at least know what causes your fears. Maybe counceling is the next step? I say that to most everyone because I've been to councling before and it's definately helped me with my family problems. I hope your fears get alleviated soon either way.
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Yea- i did the counseling thing for about 6 months a couple months after it happened. I thought i had worked through it all; which is the weird part. I dont know, we'll see.
i heart you
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i see nothing wrong with that... even if it never amounts to anything (and i certainly hope it does not!!), if having them would make you feel more secure, i think it's a great idea.
arykah, i believe in you. i believe in your worth. i believe in your intelligence and in your inner beauty and everything that entails. you can get past this. no one said it would be easy, or even that it wouldn't take years - or if someone did, ignore that advice, they're an idiot. but anyway. it may take time, and a lot of time at that, but eventually you'll be able to trust men again. who knows? all it may take is one good relationship with one man that you find will not abandon you.
i understand your fears more than you know. they're the worst of my own.
love, k
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