My FB sabbatical

[greengalnblack]

I announced yesterday that I was taking a sabbatical from FB for a while, that I had discovered lately that I was much happier before I got on Facebook. I think my FB experience would have been FINE if I had not accepted the friend requests of all of the f-ing idiots who formed the group of people who collectively made my childhood miserable.

Comments

[greengalnblack]

And even as I wrote this, 2 more people IMed and emailed me. Why is my leaving FB for a while so offensive to them?????

[fireba11]

Anyone who says "no, you HAVE to come back" as opposed to, say, "hey, I'm here if you wanna' shoot the shit, just take care and don't forget about me," needs their intentions checked

[greengalnblack]

AJ, of course you're my friend! (I only keep the good ones) Just don't get brain damaged and become a spitting, rabid neo con, ok? ;)

[fireba11]

I've never been able to identify with any one political party (they all suck), nor any political ideology (I'm a bit garden-variety there

[thespos]

I just stop reading said humans.

I have removed more than a few Republicans, fundamentalists, even people who post too many gross pictures. I have one friend who thinks it's great fun to have the grossest profile pic he can find - so he's off my News Feed. I read him if and when I want to.

It lets me remember people in the best positive light and interact with them if/when I need to. I haven't removed *everybody*, of course - and there are many Republican, religious, etc. people who are just normal and can have logical, intelligent discourse over the issues of the day, and they get to stay.

[fairgoldberry]

I'm not offended by your leaving, but I do point out that just like you have control over your LJ space and what you read there, you have (even more) control over your FB space and what you read there. I am often surprised at people who say, "I can't stand what the people on my Facebook are saying so I'm not participating any more," but are more willing to give up the entire social structure than to clarify simple expectations of behaviour

[greengalnblack]

I thought about just defriending them, but then I realized that to defriend people I don't agree with is just creating an echo chamber of my own ideology, and much like living in a gated community and never leaving, learning and understanding of others is greatly reduced when you're not exposed to them. I'm not opposed to listening, learning, and debating, and when the occasion calls for it, even changing my mind, but some of these folks are RABID in their hate and absolutely unwelcoming of any debate. To some degree, you're right, and I think that prior to my return to FB, the rabid, stupid ones who refuse to have their world view challenged will be purged. I can't make a difference with them, so what's the point?

[singofmyself]

And this thought process is exactly why I keep my Super Right Wing dorks on. I feel that unfriending them is just making me closed-minded.

But you're right, trying to debate certain types is just banging your head on the wall.

[fairgoldberry]

I have a lot of friends on all sides of the political spectrum. However, I cut the ones that can't be civil. If someone says, "I support the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan," I want to engage that person and find out why, listen to opinions different from my own, and maybe learn something in the conflict of ideas reasonably managed. If someone says, "Yeah, they're just a bunch of sand n*****s anyway, so screw the camel jockeys!" then they get cut.

I've also cut two rabidly liberal friends who couldn't stop attacking my reasonable moderate conservative friends. It's not about parity of opinion for me, so much as it's about cultivating those who can express dissent without being abusive.

Much love,
Rowan

[singofmyself]

I really want to get off of FB, but I have lots of *good* friends and family on there.

Perhaps I need a FB cleansing.

[originalkitsune]

Actually people have linked FB to depression because compared to previous social media, people only put up their achievements and photos that make themselves look good. When other people read other people's stuff, they just feel like crap in comparison because all they are seeing is "shiny happy people" stuff. You have to remind yourself you are not knowing the full story no matter what they are saying to you.

[greengalnblack]

I totally, totally believe that. I wish they would spare me the political negativity and bs while they're sparing me the news about their bankruptcy, hernia, foreclosure, etc!