and the randomness continues

[greenhornline]

Kay and I were having a discussion recently about relationships, and healthy ones versus unhealthy ones, and what needs to go into them and why and how other people's relationships just wouldn't work for us for various reasons. And it strongly reminded me of a discussion (and yes this time i really mean discussion and not argument/screaming match

Comments

[anonamusly]

This sounds a bit more extreme then I think you actually are but the main thing that people should realize is what your ex-boyfriends were like. You had very whiny, needy boyfriends. And you usually had to play the man in the relationship. I think you need a guy who likes more independence and gives you a bit of a chase to make it worth your while. Not a chase to the point where he becomes arrogant or anything like that but someone who is not a little lost puppy... And you're not a bitch about this. When it comes to your life you get to be as picky as you want to be. You do put up with a lot to not deal with people being pissy or upset or crying with you and I am totally for you telling some people and brides off but ya never know when that will I will be that pissy-whiny-crying friend so how about we just kick the wedding people out of the fort?

-Love you lots!

[greenhornline]

You know you being a pissy whiney crying friend would be completely different than a boy that does that. You are always welcome to come be a pissy/whiney/crying friend to me any time you need to honey

[ajtrpt14]

You are 100% right. You should both be doing what makes you happy, and when it's the right guy, what makes you happy will also make him happy and vice versa. It's not selfish, it's what it's all about.

[silveradept]

Totally with you on the selfish part. If you're not getting what you want out of the relationship, then find a relationship that does. Same goes for your partner(s). Makes things that much easier for everyone.

Our only caveat is make sure that you have a firm idea of what you really want. That may take an attempt or five. (And yes, the wedding season is a real pain in the ass when you're not dating anyone.)