I feel like my world is crumbling. This is worse than the pain I felt when Franklin died..and if any of you know what happened..you know how painful that was
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That is true...and i appreciate your reasoning. I'm tired of people sugar coating stuff, and giving me cliche sayongs like..."she is in heaven now".. e.t.c. I know that they are just trying to make me feel better, but it makes me feel worse.
Grappling with this guilt is fucking with me. Reason is eluding me because the guilt and sadness is clouding EVERYTHING. I still feel responsible for this. Yes I didn't know she was going to die. but i knew she was gravely ill and didn't act as I should have, which makes me feel like a shitty lazy careless person altogether. That's just how it is for me right now.
I understand all that. However, I don't think I can "live with my imperfections." I made a wrong decision that I can't forgive or forget, that's the long and short of it. Though I do appreciate your story and your kind words, so thank you for that.
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Grappling with this guilt is fucking with me. Reason is eluding me because the guilt and sadness is clouding EVERYTHING. I still feel responsible for this. Yes I didn't know she was going to die. but i knew she was gravely ill and didn't act as I should have, which makes me feel like a shitty lazy careless person altogether. That's just how it is for me right now.
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