NEW FEATURE IN MY LJ ( Read more... )

(from an attempt at a random conversation about constipation)

Lettuce: You'd think something as simple as lack of water in the colon wouldn't be such taboo in polite circles. :\
Lettuce: Like, just to piss everybody off, I'm going to walk into the drug store tomorrow and yell, "MY HUSBAND HAS DIARRHEA!"

Uggggggh. I lost my route at work yesterday. Best route I could have imagined, and I lost it. I wasn't measuring up to the guy two guys before me, who did a 2X above-and-beyond job. My boss told me I wasn't doing a "terrible" job, just not good enough for a few of the guys who worked in that shop. Etc. etc ( Read more... )

By special request, when I X out the name of the following unnamed person in my LJ, I'm not going to X this person out as "xxxxx", but as "@#$&*!@#$!". So here goes ( Read more... )

Anybody see anything wrong with this couple's logic?

"I really lucked out today and found 15# of fresh chicken legs on sale for $3! In fact, we went out and bought a freezer tonight!"

I wonder if there's such a thing as a denture fetish... or a fetish for those goofy chattering teeth things you can get...

rabidlettuce999: And you know... I can't even talk about this with the one person who it would mean the most to talk about this stuff with, because she's my best female friend - because she's not fucking 18 yet! >:P
dixusmaximus: You're so messed.
dixusmaximus: I bet if you stepped on an ant you'd feel bad.
rabidlettuce999: Oddly enough, I would

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Here's a scenario I'll bet a lot of you haven't pondered... what if Bob Dole had been president on 9/11?