Cleanin' out my closet
No really! Sorry if the title provoked you. I’m really just cleaning. Well not at the moment, I’m just looking around the mess I made thinking “maybe I took a bite too hard to swallow”
But I have to clean it up, this morning I opened one of the upper parts and stuff really fell on me! *hides form pile of stuff*
On the bright side:
- We got off the Titanic first.
- We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
- When we buy a vibrator, it's sexy. When men buy a blow-up doll, it's pathetic.
- Our boyfriends' clothes look elfin and gorgeous on us -- guys look like complete idiots in ours.
- We can be groupies, male groupies are stalkers.
- We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
- Taxis stop for us.
- Men die sooner, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
- We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
- Free drinks.
- Free dinners.
- We can hug our friends without wondering if they think we're gay.
- We know the truth about whether size matters.
- New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
- Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
- It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
- No fashion faux pas we make could rival the Speedo.
- We don't fart to amuse ourselves.
- If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
- We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
- If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
- We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
- We have the ability to dress ourselves.
- We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
- We have an excuse to be totally cranky at least once a month.
- We can talk to people of the opposite sex without automatically picturing them naked.
- If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
- Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
- There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems.
- Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
- We'll never regret piercing our ears.
- We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
- We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.
But I have to clean it up, this morning I opened one of the upper parts and stuff really fell on me! *hides form pile of stuff*
On the bright side:
- We got off the Titanic first.
- We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
- When we buy a vibrator, it's sexy. When men buy a blow-up doll, it's pathetic.
- Our boyfriends' clothes look elfin and gorgeous on us -- guys look like complete idiots in ours.
- We can be groupies, male groupies are stalkers.
- We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
- Taxis stop for us.
- Men die sooner, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
- We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
- Free drinks.
- Free dinners.
- We can hug our friends without wondering if they think we're gay.
- We know the truth about whether size matters.
- New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
- Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
- It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
- No fashion faux pas we make could rival the Speedo.
- We don't fart to amuse ourselves.
- If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
- We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
- If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
- We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
- We have the ability to dress ourselves.
- We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
- We have an excuse to be totally cranky at least once a month.
- We can talk to people of the opposite sex without automatically picturing them naked.
- If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
- Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
- There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems.
- Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
- We'll never regret piercing our ears.
- We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
- We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.