(no subject)
What's going on with me: warning barely literate, lots of whining. behind cut.
so. I got myself kicked out of living with emily for next year, i guess probably for the best.
i am going to have to move back in with my parents for a bit
which means i have to start all over with looking for a doctor to prescribe me T
but oh well maybe i'll have an easier time in Richmond
i'm a bit scared because my dad tends to get violent often when confronted with stuff he doesnt agree with
so i might have to put off continuing transitioning until i can make enough money to move out
hoping i can transfer my petsmart job to there, and get it full-time/more than full-time so i can start making lots of money/move up in the world
worried about my bird
he'll have to be alone all the time.
i could give him away i guess but you cant really give away birds like you can cats
i could also have him put to sleep, but i really dont want to do that either
i guess he'll just have to get ok with being alone for longer amounts of time during the day
will just have to set him up with music or radio or something while i am gone
and set aside like an hour or so a day that i pay lots of attention to him
i cant take my cat and that makes me sad, but he'll be OK with emily
this really sucks
at least i get my $1800 back from my security deposit/pet deposit and first months rent
but still
anyway i have to talk to my manager about my situation (just the basics of needing to move might come up with a different reason, lol)
and see if they can just transfer me internally so i dont have to reapply/interview or whatever
i'm not sure how/if i should be out to my parents at home
i guess the only way to do it is just tell them how it is, not be confrontational about it, but be very firm that i will not change my mind
as if there is any "mind changing" to be done about this sort of thing at all
i wish i hadnt figured this out sometimes, then i'd maybe still be with emily
who knows?
meh she wouldnt want that anyway
i know that
i'm just being bitter/whiney because i can't see anything good coming out of this right now and i want it all fixed now. /whine
maybe i need to write down my goals/schedule for stuff that I need to do to get on with my life yah?
lol all that pasted from IMs so thusly the disjointedness/incoherency.
OK.
So here it is. My time-line for stuff I have to get done within the next few years.
1) get working full-time at PetSmart. (yes I'm aware they aren't perfect, but really nowhere is. i do think that they mostly do their best given what they've got to work with. i'm a work within the system not outside of it kindof person usually)
2) get promoted at PetSmart. either as a manager or groomer or something.
3) get actually prescribed T.
4) get top surgery
5) get my Open Water certification
And to take this slow. Stuff to do tomorrow to start getting to those goals :-P
1) deposit paychecks
2) try and talk to bank people about money transfer-y things so i can try paying off my car the rest of the way
3) talk to my manager
4) go to work, do my work good
in other news, i am going to probably cut way back on the gaming stuff. may also try and pick up music again, but maybe not. It could be that that's in the past for me now. my musical ability :(. my voice is definitely gone anyway.
Maybe I'll add that in as goal 1.5. Trade in any guitar/musical instruments i have right now for a new one. And find someone to take lessons from. Try and be serious about that again. Seemed to help keep me sane in the past, perhaps it is one of the things my life is missing.
Anyway, peace be with you my long neglected Lj-readers. ;-) I hope that 2008 is being good to you.
P.S. maybe i'll make it a point to post on this biatch more often too, instead of just when i'm down in the dumps. i can't help it! writing is a chore to me unless i'm super depressed. but maybe i'll make time for more of it soon.
so. I got myself kicked out of living with emily for next year, i guess probably for the best.
i am going to have to move back in with my parents for a bit
which means i have to start all over with looking for a doctor to prescribe me T
but oh well maybe i'll have an easier time in Richmond
i'm a bit scared because my dad tends to get violent often when confronted with stuff he doesnt agree with
so i might have to put off continuing transitioning until i can make enough money to move out
hoping i can transfer my petsmart job to there, and get it full-time/more than full-time so i can start making lots of money/move up in the world
worried about my bird
he'll have to be alone all the time.
i could give him away i guess but you cant really give away birds like you can cats
i could also have him put to sleep, but i really dont want to do that either
i guess he'll just have to get ok with being alone for longer amounts of time during the day
will just have to set him up with music or radio or something while i am gone
and set aside like an hour or so a day that i pay lots of attention to him
i cant take my cat and that makes me sad, but he'll be OK with emily
this really sucks
at least i get my $1800 back from my security deposit/pet deposit and first months rent
but still
anyway i have to talk to my manager about my situation (just the basics of needing to move might come up with a different reason, lol)
and see if they can just transfer me internally so i dont have to reapply/interview or whatever
i'm not sure how/if i should be out to my parents at home
i guess the only way to do it is just tell them how it is, not be confrontational about it, but be very firm that i will not change my mind
as if there is any "mind changing" to be done about this sort of thing at all
i wish i hadnt figured this out sometimes, then i'd maybe still be with emily
who knows?
meh she wouldnt want that anyway
i know that
i'm just being bitter/whiney because i can't see anything good coming out of this right now and i want it all fixed now. /whine
maybe i need to write down my goals/schedule for stuff that I need to do to get on with my life yah?
lol all that pasted from IMs so thusly the disjointedness/incoherency.
OK.
So here it is. My time-line for stuff I have to get done within the next few years.
1) get working full-time at PetSmart. (yes I'm aware they aren't perfect, but really nowhere is. i do think that they mostly do their best given what they've got to work with. i'm a work within the system not outside of it kindof person usually)
2) get promoted at PetSmart. either as a manager or groomer or something.
3) get actually prescribed T.
4) get top surgery
5) get my Open Water certification
And to take this slow. Stuff to do tomorrow to start getting to those goals :-P
1) deposit paychecks
2) try and talk to bank people about money transfer-y things so i can try paying off my car the rest of the way
3) talk to my manager
4) go to work, do my work good
in other news, i am going to probably cut way back on the gaming stuff. may also try and pick up music again, but maybe not. It could be that that's in the past for me now. my musical ability :(. my voice is definitely gone anyway.
Maybe I'll add that in as goal 1.5. Trade in any guitar/musical instruments i have right now for a new one. And find someone to take lessons from. Try and be serious about that again. Seemed to help keep me sane in the past, perhaps it is one of the things my life is missing.
Anyway, peace be with you my long neglected Lj-readers. ;-) I hope that 2008 is being good to you.
P.S. maybe i'll make it a point to post on this biatch more often too, instead of just when i'm down in the dumps. i can't help it! writing is a chore to me unless i'm super depressed. but maybe i'll make time for more of it soon.