autumn: a time to be close to the dead

[greensinger]

I get nostalgic, or some variant on that feeling, this time of year. I get restless. It's not a year-end dying thing, and it's happened for a long, long time, even before I met her. But now that feeling attaches her memory to itself and populates the silent woods of my mind with her ghost. Five years. I never knew what exciting and

Comments

[shekinah_esh]

My dear beautiful being, you are wishing to receive endless love from a woman who is not there, as if you are starved for it. But this love you need to feel from her, is the love that simply is. that is there for you, when you approve of yourself and tell yourself kind things and take care of yourself, just in the now, just here. it is when you stop identifying with the smaller self, that you can step into the allencompassingself that will always love you endlessly, furiously, like the most extreme case of being in love you have ever had

[greensinger]

I think you misunderstand. I'm not looking for love, or personifying it at all. I'm thinking about a person I once knew who might have known me and could possibly help me to have perspective on who I've become.

I didn't use to have many close friends--their numbers are still small--I'm only in touch with a handful of people I've known longer than 5 years.

[shekinah_esh]

Ah I see..
I think your piece was really nicely written, even though it was open to my misunderstanding it.. :)