I didn't agree with some of the things they said. Especially about love being the opposite of selfishness. I think that you should care for the person you love, and maybe sometimes put them first, but not always. The people involved need to think of themselves as individuals. People shouldn't depend on someone else to think for them. Think for yourself, think of yourself, think of others, care for yourself along with your significant other.
Maybe you can't love if you're totally selfish, but I think you need to be somewhat selfish to avoid losing your individuality. I think that would make it healthier and more enjoyable for the partners.
Everyone's different, and I wonder if they really put each other ahead of themselves.(grammar?) Is it really possible to put someone ahead of you in every instance? I'm young and I know there's a lot I don't know, but I really wonder if this is possible.
How do you look at the concept of love? What does it mean to you to love someone or something?
Re: ProjectgreensparklesFebruary 6 2002, 17:29:58 UTC
welcome to my comment pages! ;-)
about love's meaning, i don't really know...i don't know if i've ever experienced love, so i don't know what it means to me...
i mean, i've loved people as friends, but i don't know if i've really loved someone as in a relationship kind of love...maybe i've thought that i've loved people at the time, but it could have been just infatuation.
people (especially adult people) tend to caution against infatuation...but if a person feels like he/she is in love doesn't that mean he/she is in love?
yeah they are awesome, aren't they? ...i wanna go to the concert when they perform here in fl this april, but we'll see if it works out (...i can dream, can't i?)
Now about those two people...I cannot agree with what they said. Love is give & take. Be an individual...like another comment was stated. Who wants to meld into one being? Ick. Isn't the reason we are attracted to people because of the differences between us? That's what makes life great. If we were all the same...well, there would be no need for more than one colour, one flavour of ice cream, one person posting in Live Journal...you get the gist. Revel in your own person!!! Look in mirrors when you pass by them & wink & smile knowing who "you" are is mighty fine :) Peace to all my fellow journalist :).
I agree with the concept that in a relationship it is the differences that attract. And, one must continue to look out for him or her self instead of depnding on someone else to. That does make a healthy relationship as opposed to one where an individual is dependent upon another -- that creates a tremendous strain. But, if you alter your perceptions of "selfishness" and "love," you might be able to agree with what they are talking about. Just to reiterate what someone else said, you can't have love with complete selfishness. The reason is that loving inherently involves opening yourself up and becoming somewhat vulnerable. That kind of act is unselfish -- it takes someone else into conderation. I believe the term selfish implies an extreme -- only thinking about your needs, wants,etc. I believe the term unselfish, unlike "selfish," to be a middle word. I mean that it implies being somewhere between a doormat and a self-centered narcissist (sp?). It's healthy to look out for yourself. It's unhealthy to take that to an extreme -- which
( ... )
Hmm...I don't think I can contribute to this discussion, but I will anyway, just because this is such a cool comment page. ;)
The whole assignment sounds kind of weird to me. Could a person really get a feel for married life just by doing an assignment.
*Magic Eight Ball*: "my sources say 'no'"
but then again......
Marriage...IS the opposite of selfishness.
I hate to agree with people who try to give you an assignment like this....but they have the right idea.
There is one statement about marriage that is so true...
Marriage is work. Plain and simple...
and because it is work...it is the opposite of selfishness.
When you 'work' on your marriage you are showing your spouse how much you really care...how devoted you really are...
when that is a priority in your life, who could say you are being selfish?
But...just because you have priorities doesnt mean you lose yourself, or lose putting yourself first.
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Maybe you can't love if you're totally selfish, but I think you need to be somewhat selfish to avoid losing your individuality. I think that would make it healthier and more enjoyable for the partners.
Everyone's different, and I wonder if they really put each other ahead of themselves.(grammar?) Is it really possible to put someone ahead of you in every instance? I'm young and I know there's a lot I don't know, but I really wonder if this is possible.
How do you look at the concept of love? What does it mean to you to love someone or something?
Reply
about love's meaning, i don't really know...i don't know if i've ever experienced love, so i don't know what it means to me...
i mean, i've loved people as friends, but i don't know if i've really loved someone as in a relationship kind of love...maybe i've thought that i've loved people at the time, but it could have been just infatuation.
people (especially adult people) tend to caution against infatuation...but if a person feels like he/she is in love doesn't that mean he/she is in love?
Reply
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Now about those two people...I cannot agree with what they said. Love is give & take. Be an individual...like another comment was stated. Who wants to meld into one being? Ick. Isn't the reason we are attracted to people because of the differences between us? That's what makes life great. If we were all the same...well, there would be no need for more than one colour, one flavour of ice cream, one person posting in Live Journal...you get the gist. Revel in your own person!!! Look in mirrors when you pass by them & wink & smile knowing who "you" are is mighty fine :) Peace to all my fellow journalist :).
Reply
thanks for the icon praise, the encouragement to enjoy myself, and the peace! and peace to you too!
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i love redefining words...it makes the debate last that much longer...and we all know i love to debate... ;-)
anyway, i agree in that they must not of meant true selflessness; who can give absolutes when talking about life?
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The whole assignment sounds kind of weird to me. Could a person really get a feel for married life just by doing an assignment.
*Magic Eight Ball*: "my sources say 'no'"
but then again......
Reply
I hate to agree with people who try to give you an assignment like this....but they have the right idea.
There is one statement about marriage that is so true...
Marriage is work. Plain and simple...
and because it is work...it is the opposite of selfishness.
When you 'work' on your marriage you are showing your spouse how much you really care...how devoted you really are...
when that is a priority in your life, who could say you are being selfish?
But...just because you have priorities doesnt mean you lose yourself, or lose putting yourself first.
Reply
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