Fiction stuff
So... Hi there.
Today I give you some stuff I scratched down... Love it, hate it, I don't know. Possibly, the weirdest piece of fanfiction I ever wrote. ))) I hope you'll find it a bit funny. I did.)
Title: 10 hits the spot (please excuse my lame titling ability)
Pairing: Try to guess) ...and some Sanji/Robin came by.
Genre: Was planned as something funny. Who knows...
Rating: Make it PG-15. Birdies, bees, all that in small proportions. Oh, and some random cursing.
Disclamer: Please, Oda, force them to make out!!!
Summary: The most cliche plot of them all. Generally, first comes fun, then comes love, etc.
Enjoy!
P.S. Excuse my grammar. I'm not really comfortable with writing in english. Russian native)
P.P.S. But I REALLY love feedbacks.
1.
First time it happened, they were both drunk.
It was a very warm night so she was walking in that striped bikini with ties on her hips which gave him fairly uncontrollable urges to undo them with his teeth.
He had one of his white (what’s with this man and white?) t-shirts on. Somehow, during the party, Luffy managed to spill sake all over him, so that it fit even more tightly to his sculptured and scared torso. Fingernail scars would look good on him, she thought.
By the time she decided it would be good to walk around a bit, he barely recognized the reality. So when she tripped and landed backwards right on his lap, he didn’t really care who’s curves were there, as long as they were not male.
She actually thought about standing up. While somebody’s mouth tried to eat her neck off, she looked around, noticing other members of the crew scattered all over the deck in their drunkest sleep. Pretty talented mouth went down to her shoulder so she decided to stay a bit longer. Strong fingers on her tights killed the reason to stand up at all.
2.
Morning found them in her bed, naked and with one hell of a hangover. After some consistent swearing from one side and beating from another, they decided that it was a mistake and it will never happen again.
Just to prove the point, they also decided the morning round was not as good as it was and definitely not the best in their lives.
3.
He told himself that they really needed to talk about that. This was the original reason, why he went to the crow’s nest two nights later during her shift. What happened after “hi” and “how are you doing here” was all her fault.
- Nami-swan, you are so flushed. Are you ok?
- Oh, I think I have sunstroke. I’ll go to my room.
That day she found out that snores CAN turn people on.
4.
During dinner he had his hand between her legs. No one of the guys noticed. Robin just smiled and pretended not to pay attention to her friend’s slightly flushed skin and rapid breath. Whatever games these kids were playing, they surely enjoyed them. Zoro is going to be in real pain after the meal.
5.
- Zoro…
- Woman, I’m busy.
- Wait, Zoro…
- What now? If you just want to be unbearable…
- My leg doesn’t bend that way.
- Oi, Zoro, these are some bites. What kind of insect was it?
- Pretty damn annoying. And orange.
6.
Nami: Know what? I'm sick of this. I’m telling them.
Zoro: Woman, don't!..
Nami: Crew! I’m dating Zoro.
Usopp: So?..
Luffy: Zoro and Nami sitting in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-… Meat!
Chopper: That’s nice.
Robin: I knew from the beginning.
Sanji: YOU SHITHE… Ro-o-o-obin-cha-an… <3
Zoro: Oh, fuck this. I going to sleep.
7.
He was obviously pissed off.
- Every single time there is a fight you say that it’s me who is supposed to fight. Then tell me, woman, why the hell am I supposed to rescue you while you are even not supposed to be there?
- Then don’t. If it’s bothering you so much. Something else?
- Nah. Not really.
They were drifting to sleep.
- If you’ll try to commit a heroic suicide again, I’ll kill you myself, - he said, kissing her fingertips.
8.
He was definitely trying to kill her. She was still trying to catch breath after leaving some impossible highs of pleasure when he suddenly made a more serious face than usually (yes, that’s possible), and started to look for his pants. Finally finding them on the other end of the room, he took something from his pocket and returned to her, almost shoving a golden ring in her face.
- Will you marry me?
She though she had hearing problems.
- Ah… what?
- I asked if you would like to marry me.
She actually managed to lose consciousness because she forgot to breathe for couple of minutes.
She said woman needs time to think. That’s normal. A day is normal. Two - fine. But a week?! Plus, she started to act really strange. Not that he really noticed by her behavior. It’s just that Robin started to give him weird looks, love cook promised to kill him few more times, and Chopper kept asking if he needs to have a look at her. By the end of the week he lost his patience. Stumbling into her room in the middle of the night (what kind of sleep are you talking about when she was literally molesting his brain?), he almost yelled.
- So, woman?
She sat on the bed reading. Something is wrong, her face is just way too calm.
- So what?
- And your answer is… ?
- Yes, I guess…
He was actually visibly relieved.
- …since we are having a kid.
Shit.
- Saw that coming, - said Robin not pretending to be asleep any more.
9.
- So, Marimo, I hope you really love her. Cause if you don’t, I’ll kill you.
- I think you are way too much into the role of bride’s dad.
- I also hope you’ll call your kid after me or Robin.
- Dream on, Dartboard-brow.
- Oh, and the thing I hope the most is that Robin-chan won’t insist on marring on the ship… Your wedding sucked.
- Oh, like your opinion matters… Anyway, it is already finished.
- It sounds like we are going to have a freaking kindergarten on this boat real soon…
- …
- Yeah…
- …
- Zoro?
- Are you drunk?
- So-so.
- Then I drink for fatherhood.
- Fuck you.
10.
Zoro was sleeping on the deck. Just the same way he always did. Until something started to persistently climb on his head. He grabbed his 4 year old son by the leg and lifted him upside-down. Only after that he managed to open his eyes.
- Now, what do you want, you little monkey?
Kid answered with a grin, same one he and Nami usually shared.
- Mom asked to wake you up.
- And why didn’t she do it herself?
- She is busy talking to aunt Robin in the kitchen.
Zoro manipulated his kid in the air, seated Norio on his neck, picked up 3 stick his son was usually running around with, then stood up and went to the kitchen.
- Great. So, what’s going on?
- Lunch. If uncle Sanji stops strangling Hana to finish it.
- He is probably just hugging her, even though it may look like slow and painful death from suffocation.
As he opened the kitchen door, he was met by loud whining of a little blond girl, locked in Sanji’s cuddle.
- Mommy, Daddy is scary.
Robin turned from Nami.
- Don’t worry, honey. That is how Daddy shows his love.
- That makes him even scarier.
Zoro smiled and sit on his usual place.
- Oi, Blondie! Are we getting any food today?
Sanji let go of his daughter.
- Shut the… - he looked at the kids. - Yeah, one minute.
Nami lifted Norio from Zoro’s neck and kissed her husband on the cheek.
- Great. Now that this is settled, we can finally have some lunch.
Digging in his meal, Zoro thought that life was actually great. Then, he looked at his son, happily munching his food, and Nami, talking to Robin about the island they were headed to. No, he corrected himself and smiled.
Life is frigging perfect.
Fin.
Today I give you some stuff I scratched down... Love it, hate it, I don't know. Possibly, the weirdest piece of fanfiction I ever wrote. ))) I hope you'll find it a bit funny. I did.)
Title: 10 hits the spot (please excuse my lame titling ability)
Pairing: Try to guess) ...and some Sanji/Robin came by.
Genre: Was planned as something funny. Who knows...
Rating: Make it PG-15. Birdies, bees, all that in small proportions. Oh, and some random cursing.
Disclamer: Please, Oda, force them to make out!!!
Summary: The most cliche plot of them all. Generally, first comes fun, then comes love, etc.
Enjoy!
P.S. Excuse my grammar. I'm not really comfortable with writing in english. Russian native)
P.P.S. But I REALLY love feedbacks.
1.
First time it happened, they were both drunk.
It was a very warm night so she was walking in that striped bikini with ties on her hips which gave him fairly uncontrollable urges to undo them with his teeth.
He had one of his white (what’s with this man and white?) t-shirts on. Somehow, during the party, Luffy managed to spill sake all over him, so that it fit even more tightly to his sculptured and scared torso. Fingernail scars would look good on him, she thought.
By the time she decided it would be good to walk around a bit, he barely recognized the reality. So when she tripped and landed backwards right on his lap, he didn’t really care who’s curves were there, as long as they were not male.
She actually thought about standing up. While somebody’s mouth tried to eat her neck off, she looked around, noticing other members of the crew scattered all over the deck in their drunkest sleep. Pretty talented mouth went down to her shoulder so she decided to stay a bit longer. Strong fingers on her tights killed the reason to stand up at all.
2.
Morning found them in her bed, naked and with one hell of a hangover. After some consistent swearing from one side and beating from another, they decided that it was a mistake and it will never happen again.
Just to prove the point, they also decided the morning round was not as good as it was and definitely not the best in their lives.
3.
He told himself that they really needed to talk about that. This was the original reason, why he went to the crow’s nest two nights later during her shift. What happened after “hi” and “how are you doing here” was all her fault.
- Nami-swan, you are so flushed. Are you ok?
- Oh, I think I have sunstroke. I’ll go to my room.
That day she found out that snores CAN turn people on.
4.
During dinner he had his hand between her legs. No one of the guys noticed. Robin just smiled and pretended not to pay attention to her friend’s slightly flushed skin and rapid breath. Whatever games these kids were playing, they surely enjoyed them. Zoro is going to be in real pain after the meal.
5.
- Zoro…
- Woman, I’m busy.
- Wait, Zoro…
- What now? If you just want to be unbearable…
- My leg doesn’t bend that way.
- Oi, Zoro, these are some bites. What kind of insect was it?
- Pretty damn annoying. And orange.
6.
Nami: Know what? I'm sick of this. I’m telling them.
Zoro: Woman, don't!..
Nami: Crew! I’m dating Zoro.
Usopp: So?..
Luffy: Zoro and Nami sitting in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-… Meat!
Chopper: That’s nice.
Robin: I knew from the beginning.
Sanji: YOU SHITHE… Ro-o-o-obin-cha-an… <3
Zoro: Oh, fuck this. I going to sleep.
7.
He was obviously pissed off.
- Every single time there is a fight you say that it’s me who is supposed to fight. Then tell me, woman, why the hell am I supposed to rescue you while you are even not supposed to be there?
- Then don’t. If it’s bothering you so much. Something else?
- Nah. Not really.
They were drifting to sleep.
- If you’ll try to commit a heroic suicide again, I’ll kill you myself, - he said, kissing her fingertips.
8.
He was definitely trying to kill her. She was still trying to catch breath after leaving some impossible highs of pleasure when he suddenly made a more serious face than usually (yes, that’s possible), and started to look for his pants. Finally finding them on the other end of the room, he took something from his pocket and returned to her, almost shoving a golden ring in her face.
- Will you marry me?
She though she had hearing problems.
- Ah… what?
- I asked if you would like to marry me.
She actually managed to lose consciousness because she forgot to breathe for couple of minutes.
She said woman needs time to think. That’s normal. A day is normal. Two - fine. But a week?! Plus, she started to act really strange. Not that he really noticed by her behavior. It’s just that Robin started to give him weird looks, love cook promised to kill him few more times, and Chopper kept asking if he needs to have a look at her. By the end of the week he lost his patience. Stumbling into her room in the middle of the night (what kind of sleep are you talking about when she was literally molesting his brain?), he almost yelled.
- So, woman?
She sat on the bed reading. Something is wrong, her face is just way too calm.
- So what?
- And your answer is… ?
- Yes, I guess…
He was actually visibly relieved.
- …since we are having a kid.
Shit.
- Saw that coming, - said Robin not pretending to be asleep any more.
9.
- So, Marimo, I hope you really love her. Cause if you don’t, I’ll kill you.
- I think you are way too much into the role of bride’s dad.
- I also hope you’ll call your kid after me or Robin.
- Dream on, Dartboard-brow.
- Oh, and the thing I hope the most is that Robin-chan won’t insist on marring on the ship… Your wedding sucked.
- Oh, like your opinion matters… Anyway, it is already finished.
- It sounds like we are going to have a freaking kindergarten on this boat real soon…
- …
- Yeah…
- …
- Zoro?
- Are you drunk?
- So-so.
- Then I drink for fatherhood.
- Fuck you.
10.
Zoro was sleeping on the deck. Just the same way he always did. Until something started to persistently climb on his head. He grabbed his 4 year old son by the leg and lifted him upside-down. Only after that he managed to open his eyes.
- Now, what do you want, you little monkey?
Kid answered with a grin, same one he and Nami usually shared.
- Mom asked to wake you up.
- And why didn’t she do it herself?
- She is busy talking to aunt Robin in the kitchen.
Zoro manipulated his kid in the air, seated Norio on his neck, picked up 3 stick his son was usually running around with, then stood up and went to the kitchen.
- Great. So, what’s going on?
- Lunch. If uncle Sanji stops strangling Hana to finish it.
- He is probably just hugging her, even though it may look like slow and painful death from suffocation.
As he opened the kitchen door, he was met by loud whining of a little blond girl, locked in Sanji’s cuddle.
- Mommy, Daddy is scary.
Robin turned from Nami.
- Don’t worry, honey. That is how Daddy shows his love.
- That makes him even scarier.
Zoro smiled and sit on his usual place.
- Oi, Blondie! Are we getting any food today?
Sanji let go of his daughter.
- Shut the… - he looked at the kids. - Yeah, one minute.
Nami lifted Norio from Zoro’s neck and kissed her husband on the cheek.
- Great. Now that this is settled, we can finally have some lunch.
Digging in his meal, Zoro thought that life was actually great. Then, he looked at his son, happily munching his food, and Nami, talking to Robin about the island they were headed to. No, he corrected himself and smiled.
Life is frigging perfect.
Fin.