(no subject)
Anybody who has a myspace-- nay-- anybody who uses the internet knows about the annoying advertisements that seem to find their way onto every website in the cyberworld.
Just by refering to the internet, you should already know what advertisements I'm talking about and you should also be bleeding from your eyes and foaming at the mouth because of the physical and psychological trauma that these ads cause net users all over the world, but for those of you who still don't know what I'm talking about, I shall go on.
These are the advertisements that use the most abstract and random color combinations imaginable. They either pop up as a seperate window which is "easily" closed (after closing 27 more that pop up in seccession after closing the first one like some fucked up cybernetic hydra of death) or they have infected the website itself, stuck there on your screen with no means of getting rid of the epileptic-seizure-inducing flash of colors.
They come in many shapes and sizes. Some are disguised as those stupid polls that ask you:
"DUUURRR WHO SHOULD HAVE WON THE ELECTION IN 2004?!?!?! BUSH OR KERRY LOLOLOLOLLLLLL?!?!?! CHOOSE ONE?!?!" You know the one where the candidates faces are all being distorted. Like, George W's nose is being wrapped around his head and they are making Kerry's face even longer than it already is. Well we all know who DID win the election 2 years ago so these polls have no point whatsoever. Who even answers them anyways? Some guy actually wakes up one morning and says to themselves, "I feel like making a difference today. Voicing my opinion on who should have won the presidential election of 2004 is how I shall make that difference but how will I do this?! How will I let the world know how I feel?!" A few minutes later this bro-dude logs onto the internet, browses a few websites and BAM, up comes the presidential election of 2004 poll pop-up ad.
PERFECT FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. NOW THE WORLD SHALL KNOW.
So Guy-Who-Can't-Get-Over-What-Happened-Two-Years-Ago clicks on the candidate of their choice and then a horrible computer virus leaps forthward from the computer screen and tears of the person's face. Well okay maybe it doesn't jump out of the screen...
Probably just the CD-Drive.
Then there are those damn game advertisements; always offering you iPods, or new computers or beef steaks. These are the ones where you have to shear a sheep faster than the other guy or swat a fly or touch more children than Micheal Jackson does. Sometimes they will be those guessing games, where they show you a celebrity's body part and ask you to guess who it is. They'll ask you shit like "Who's behind is this! Beyonce's, Lindsay Lohan's or Kevin Federline's!?" Well it's obviously black, it's pretty large too! This has got to be Kevin Federline's ass!
And now you've lost the game. When you lose these ad games, it doesn't just disappear off your screen. No, these ads stay on the screen and flash the word "LOSER" over and over again in that neon color scheme that just ends up making it all look like some throbbing herpes sore. Just like the poll-people, there are probably people who actually enjoy these games and take them very seriously.
"Which pop-diva's mole is this?! Christina Aguilera's, Britney Spears' or Lassie's? Guess right and win your *FREE* iPod nano! It's so small you'll probably break it by turning it on!"
"Oh man, it's totally Christina Aguilera's mole! I'm her biggest fan!!!"
CLICK.
"You are a Loser! That's not Christina Aguilera's mole! You suck at life!"
Now let's step back for just a second. Every normal, level-headed person probably wouldn't have even tried to guess but say that they did, they would have just accepted the fact that they got it wrong and went about their business. BUT OH NO, not the person who actually takes these games seriously.
"I am NOT A LOSER. YOU'RE A LOSER AND YOU SUCK AT LIFE, YOU STUPID GAME. I'M GOING TO GET THAT DAMN IPOD." From there they refresh the page over and over again until the same ad pops up so they can keep trying. Dude, the mole IS Christina Agiulera's, they just don't want you to win.
Well, we all hate these ads with our entire being but for those of us who haven't broken free of their grasp:
Give up, they aren't going to send you the beef steak.
Just by refering to the internet, you should already know what advertisements I'm talking about and you should also be bleeding from your eyes and foaming at the mouth because of the physical and psychological trauma that these ads cause net users all over the world, but for those of you who still don't know what I'm talking about, I shall go on.
These are the advertisements that use the most abstract and random color combinations imaginable. They either pop up as a seperate window which is "easily" closed (after closing 27 more that pop up in seccession after closing the first one like some fucked up cybernetic hydra of death) or they have infected the website itself, stuck there on your screen with no means of getting rid of the epileptic-seizure-inducing flash of colors.
They come in many shapes and sizes. Some are disguised as those stupid polls that ask you:
"DUUURRR WHO SHOULD HAVE WON THE ELECTION IN 2004?!?!?! BUSH OR KERRY LOLOLOLOLLLLLL?!?!?! CHOOSE ONE?!?!" You know the one where the candidates faces are all being distorted. Like, George W's nose is being wrapped around his head and they are making Kerry's face even longer than it already is. Well we all know who DID win the election 2 years ago so these polls have no point whatsoever. Who even answers them anyways? Some guy actually wakes up one morning and says to themselves, "I feel like making a difference today. Voicing my opinion on who should have won the presidential election of 2004 is how I shall make that difference but how will I do this?! How will I let the world know how I feel?!" A few minutes later this bro-dude logs onto the internet, browses a few websites and BAM, up comes the presidential election of 2004 poll pop-up ad.
PERFECT FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. NOW THE WORLD SHALL KNOW.
So Guy-Who-Can't-Get-Over-What-Happened-Two-Years-Ago clicks on the candidate of their choice and then a horrible computer virus leaps forthward from the computer screen and tears of the person's face. Well okay maybe it doesn't jump out of the screen...
Probably just the CD-Drive.
Then there are those damn game advertisements; always offering you iPods, or new computers or beef steaks. These are the ones where you have to shear a sheep faster than the other guy or swat a fly or touch more children than Micheal Jackson does. Sometimes they will be those guessing games, where they show you a celebrity's body part and ask you to guess who it is. They'll ask you shit like "Who's behind is this! Beyonce's, Lindsay Lohan's or Kevin Federline's!?" Well it's obviously black, it's pretty large too! This has got to be Kevin Federline's ass!
And now you've lost the game. When you lose these ad games, it doesn't just disappear off your screen. No, these ads stay on the screen and flash the word "LOSER" over and over again in that neon color scheme that just ends up making it all look like some throbbing herpes sore. Just like the poll-people, there are probably people who actually enjoy these games and take them very seriously.
"Which pop-diva's mole is this?! Christina Aguilera's, Britney Spears' or Lassie's? Guess right and win your *FREE* iPod nano! It's so small you'll probably break it by turning it on!"
"Oh man, it's totally Christina Aguilera's mole! I'm her biggest fan!!!"
CLICK.
"You are a Loser! That's not Christina Aguilera's mole! You suck at life!"
Now let's step back for just a second. Every normal, level-headed person probably wouldn't have even tried to guess but say that they did, they would have just accepted the fact that they got it wrong and went about their business. BUT OH NO, not the person who actually takes these games seriously.
"I am NOT A LOSER. YOU'RE A LOSER AND YOU SUCK AT LIFE, YOU STUPID GAME. I'M GOING TO GET THAT DAMN IPOD." From there they refresh the page over and over again until the same ad pops up so they can keep trying. Dude, the mole IS Christina Agiulera's, they just don't want you to win.
Well, we all hate these ads with our entire being but for those of us who haven't broken free of their grasp:
Give up, they aren't going to send you the beef steak.