Listen To Your Heart (5/11)
Story title: Listen To Your Heart
Summary: What happens when Will leaves JJ, and Emily is there to help her? Eventual JJ/Emily
Pairing: Emily/JJ
Rating: PG (I think? I have no idea how these ratings work, but there's no adult content or anything)
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds does not belong to me.
A/N 1: English is not my first language (not even my second, actually) so there probably will be some mistakes. Feel free to point them out to me, so I can improve.
A/N 2: Now that I know people are reading this, I guess it's only fair to keep updating. It may take a bit longer from now on, because I'm crazy busy with exams, and I really want to pass this time. But anyway, here's part 5.
Comments are still very much appreciated, I'd like to know what you think.
Chapter 5
One week later
Emily woke up with a shock, shaking and sweating heavily. She was having a nightmare, again. That wasn’t really new to her, the nightmares came with the job. But this time, it was different. She had been having the same nightmare for the past few days, ever since they had come back from New York. She couldn’t get the bombings out of her head. In the end, everything had worked out well, but in her dreams, they didn’t. It wouldn’t be Hotch, walking towards the car, it would be JJ, already sitting in it. Almost every night since New York, she dreamt that JJ died in the explosion, and tonight was no different. Her first reflex was grabbing her phone to call JJ, to make sure she was all right, but she knew she couldn’t do that. It was the middle of the night, and JJ needed her rest. So, instead of calling JJ, she just lay in her bed, looking at the ceiling.
She knew why she was having those dreams, and she knew what they meant. She had known from the first time she saw JJ, when she was standing in Hotch’s office and JJ came in to get him for a briefing. That was the moment she decided she wanted to get to know the gorgeous blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman. And for that to happen, she needed to work at the BAU, so she was going to make that happen. Transfer mix-up be damned.
After she got her spot on the team, she started to hang out with the other BAU women. Garcia had instantly become a friend, because, well, she was Garcia, and she befriended pretty much everyone. It had taken a little more time to get to know JJ, since she was a guarded woman, and didn’t let people in easily. But gradually, she found her way in, and every day she worked with JJ, she came to like her more and more. She was falling for her, and she was falling hard. Harder than she had ever fallen for someone, man or woman.
Hours later, when Emily walked into the BAU bullpen, she didn’t walk over to her desk like she normally did, but went to JJ’s office. She got worried when she didn’t find her there. JJ was always in her office, unless she was getting some coffee, which she couldn’t have right now. So where the hell was she?
“Emily, hey, do you need anything?” she suddenly heard. She jumped up and turned around so quickly she’d probably still feel her neck hours later.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” JJ quickly apologized.
“That’s okay. I just wanted to check up on you, see if you’re okay, and - What is that?!” she suddenly yelled out as she saw the cup JJ held in her hands. “You’re not supposed to drink coffee, you know that,” she said admonishingly.
“Don’t worry Emily, it’s just hot chocolate. I just pretend it’s coffee, and hope it’s enough to get me through my caffeine withdrawal,” she said with a smile. She liked this caring side of Emily.
“And besides, I can have coffee, you know, just not too much. I brought you some, by the way. It’s on your desk.”
“Oh, ehm, thank you,” Emily responded, not really knowing what to say. She had embarrassed herself enough as it was. Without another word, she quickly left the office, leaving JJ there all by herself, confused.
JJ was getting a bit worried about Emily. She had caught her looking weirdly at her for the past week, and she was worried she was having second thoughts. JJ was scared Emily was searching for a way out, and she didn’t think she could deal with all of this alone. She needed Emily, she was the only one who could keep her calm, who was able to keep her grounded.
Emily was the only one who could get through to JJ during and after the Hankel case, and the only one who could provide comfort when Garcia was shot. She was also the first one she thought about after she heard about the explosion in New York, and the first one she called out to when she had found part of her team safe and soundly. She had come to rely on Emily, more than she cared to admit.
She knew she should talk to Emily about it, let her know she could get out if she wanted to. But she couldn’t, not yet. She wasn’t ready to lose Emily just yet. So instead of going to Emily, she sat at her desk, looking at a file, but not really seeing anything.
One month later
JJ was working in the conference room with the TV playing in the background. While she was going through some files, a news report caught her attention. When she saw what it was about, she ran to the bullpen, picking up the remote control next to the door on her way in.
“Morgan,” she caught his attention while turning on the TV. The reporter was still talking.
“… what is reportedly being called a routine questions and answers by Colorado child services has turned into a violent and deadly standoff between Colorado authorities and a French religious group known as the separatarian sect. The raid… “
It didn’t take Morgan long to realize what was going on.
“JJ, that’s not the ranch where Prentiss and Reid are?” he asked, needing to be sure.
“They’re still inside,” JJ answered, barely audible. She felt as if her throat was squeezed tight from fear. Emily is still there, was all she could think about.
“HOTCH!” Morgan yelled.
Hours later
The team had set up outside the compound of the religious sect, trying to get a clear idea about what was happening inside. They had managed to bring microphones into the building, and now they were waiting for something to happen. They didn’t have to wait long, though. JJ had found a news feed about the standoff, and she showed it to the team. Some news reporter revealed that an FBI agent was inside the compound, effectively ruining Emily and Reid’s cover. Not long after that, they heard Cyrus, the leader of the sect, speaking to Emily and Reid.
“Which one of you is it?”
Taking out his gun, he continued, “Which one of you is the FBI agent?”
JJ was beyond scared after hearing that. Two of her best friends were in there, and one of them had just got into serious trouble. When she heard Emily saying it was her, she lost it. She felt like her whole world just had come crumbling down. She hated herself for thinking it, but as much as she loved Reid, she felt like it was that much worse when Emily took the hits. And Emily took hits, and it killed JJ inside having to listen to every single one of. The woman who had practically become a second mother to her unborn child, was inside a building not that far from her, being badly beaten, and there was nothing she could do about it.
JJ had never been more relieved than in the moment she saw Emily leave the compound. She was wounded and obviously in pain, but she would be all right in the end. She watched Emily and Reid hug each other, and felt a slight wave of jealousy. It was over as quickly as it came, but it left her pretty confused.
On the plane ride home, she watched Emily put her hand on top of Reid’s, and again she felt a pang of jealousy. Why does it bother me so much? Why do I feel like I want to be the one who’s hugging her, and holding her hand? And why do I keep thinking of her as a second mother to my child? All of this was racing through her mind, while she was trying to come up with a good explanation for her feelings. And the more she thought about it, the clearer it became. She was in love with Emily.
She didn’t know why this surprised her so much, though. When she thought about it, she realized her feelings toward the brunette had been changing from friendship to something deeper along the way, she just hadn’t noticed the change.
She had never fallen in love with a woman before, and she would never have believed she could. But, with Emily, it just seemed natural. She was probably the most beautiful, caring, compassionate woman JJ had ever met, and she was absolutely adorable with her geeky humor. She was really easy to love. And that was why it hurt so much. Because she knew it would never happen. She wouldn’t and couldn’t risk her friendship with the older woman, and besides, Emily was clearly straight. And then there still was the small fact of her pregnancy. She just couldn’t force a baby onto Emily, that wouldn’t be fair to her. Emily had promised to help with her child, of course, but as a friend. As an aunt for her son, but not as a second mother.
So she decided to keep her feelings to herself, while trying to spend as much time with Emily as she could.
Part 6
Summary: What happens when Will leaves JJ, and Emily is there to help her? Eventual JJ/Emily
Pairing: Emily/JJ
Rating: PG (I think? I have no idea how these ratings work, but there's no adult content or anything)
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds does not belong to me.
A/N 1: English is not my first language (not even my second, actually) so there probably will be some mistakes. Feel free to point them out to me, so I can improve.
A/N 2: Now that I know people are reading this, I guess it's only fair to keep updating. It may take a bit longer from now on, because I'm crazy busy with exams, and I really want to pass this time. But anyway, here's part 5.
Comments are still very much appreciated, I'd like to know what you think.
Chapter 5
One week later
Emily woke up with a shock, shaking and sweating heavily. She was having a nightmare, again. That wasn’t really new to her, the nightmares came with the job. But this time, it was different. She had been having the same nightmare for the past few days, ever since they had come back from New York. She couldn’t get the bombings out of her head. In the end, everything had worked out well, but in her dreams, they didn’t. It wouldn’t be Hotch, walking towards the car, it would be JJ, already sitting in it. Almost every night since New York, she dreamt that JJ died in the explosion, and tonight was no different. Her first reflex was grabbing her phone to call JJ, to make sure she was all right, but she knew she couldn’t do that. It was the middle of the night, and JJ needed her rest. So, instead of calling JJ, she just lay in her bed, looking at the ceiling.
She knew why she was having those dreams, and she knew what they meant. She had known from the first time she saw JJ, when she was standing in Hotch’s office and JJ came in to get him for a briefing. That was the moment she decided she wanted to get to know the gorgeous blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman. And for that to happen, she needed to work at the BAU, so she was going to make that happen. Transfer mix-up be damned.
After she got her spot on the team, she started to hang out with the other BAU women. Garcia had instantly become a friend, because, well, she was Garcia, and she befriended pretty much everyone. It had taken a little more time to get to know JJ, since she was a guarded woman, and didn’t let people in easily. But gradually, she found her way in, and every day she worked with JJ, she came to like her more and more. She was falling for her, and she was falling hard. Harder than she had ever fallen for someone, man or woman.
Hours later, when Emily walked into the BAU bullpen, she didn’t walk over to her desk like she normally did, but went to JJ’s office. She got worried when she didn’t find her there. JJ was always in her office, unless she was getting some coffee, which she couldn’t have right now. So where the hell was she?
“Emily, hey, do you need anything?” she suddenly heard. She jumped up and turned around so quickly she’d probably still feel her neck hours later.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” JJ quickly apologized.
“That’s okay. I just wanted to check up on you, see if you’re okay, and - What is that?!” she suddenly yelled out as she saw the cup JJ held in her hands. “You’re not supposed to drink coffee, you know that,” she said admonishingly.
“Don’t worry Emily, it’s just hot chocolate. I just pretend it’s coffee, and hope it’s enough to get me through my caffeine withdrawal,” she said with a smile. She liked this caring side of Emily.
“And besides, I can have coffee, you know, just not too much. I brought you some, by the way. It’s on your desk.”
“Oh, ehm, thank you,” Emily responded, not really knowing what to say. She had embarrassed herself enough as it was. Without another word, she quickly left the office, leaving JJ there all by herself, confused.
JJ was getting a bit worried about Emily. She had caught her looking weirdly at her for the past week, and she was worried she was having second thoughts. JJ was scared Emily was searching for a way out, and she didn’t think she could deal with all of this alone. She needed Emily, she was the only one who could keep her calm, who was able to keep her grounded.
Emily was the only one who could get through to JJ during and after the Hankel case, and the only one who could provide comfort when Garcia was shot. She was also the first one she thought about after she heard about the explosion in New York, and the first one she called out to when she had found part of her team safe and soundly. She had come to rely on Emily, more than she cared to admit.
She knew she should talk to Emily about it, let her know she could get out if she wanted to. But she couldn’t, not yet. She wasn’t ready to lose Emily just yet. So instead of going to Emily, she sat at her desk, looking at a file, but not really seeing anything.
One month later
JJ was working in the conference room with the TV playing in the background. While she was going through some files, a news report caught her attention. When she saw what it was about, she ran to the bullpen, picking up the remote control next to the door on her way in.
“Morgan,” she caught his attention while turning on the TV. The reporter was still talking.
“… what is reportedly being called a routine questions and answers by Colorado child services has turned into a violent and deadly standoff between Colorado authorities and a French religious group known as the separatarian sect. The raid… “
It didn’t take Morgan long to realize what was going on.
“JJ, that’s not the ranch where Prentiss and Reid are?” he asked, needing to be sure.
“They’re still inside,” JJ answered, barely audible. She felt as if her throat was squeezed tight from fear. Emily is still there, was all she could think about.
“HOTCH!” Morgan yelled.
Hours later
The team had set up outside the compound of the religious sect, trying to get a clear idea about what was happening inside. They had managed to bring microphones into the building, and now they were waiting for something to happen. They didn’t have to wait long, though. JJ had found a news feed about the standoff, and she showed it to the team. Some news reporter revealed that an FBI agent was inside the compound, effectively ruining Emily and Reid’s cover. Not long after that, they heard Cyrus, the leader of the sect, speaking to Emily and Reid.
“Which one of you is it?”
Taking out his gun, he continued, “Which one of you is the FBI agent?”
JJ was beyond scared after hearing that. Two of her best friends were in there, and one of them had just got into serious trouble. When she heard Emily saying it was her, she lost it. She felt like her whole world just had come crumbling down. She hated herself for thinking it, but as much as she loved Reid, she felt like it was that much worse when Emily took the hits. And Emily took hits, and it killed JJ inside having to listen to every single one of. The woman who had practically become a second mother to her unborn child, was inside a building not that far from her, being badly beaten, and there was nothing she could do about it.
JJ had never been more relieved than in the moment she saw Emily leave the compound. She was wounded and obviously in pain, but she would be all right in the end. She watched Emily and Reid hug each other, and felt a slight wave of jealousy. It was over as quickly as it came, but it left her pretty confused.
On the plane ride home, she watched Emily put her hand on top of Reid’s, and again she felt a pang of jealousy. Why does it bother me so much? Why do I feel like I want to be the one who’s hugging her, and holding her hand? And why do I keep thinking of her as a second mother to my child? All of this was racing through her mind, while she was trying to come up with a good explanation for her feelings. And the more she thought about it, the clearer it became. She was in love with Emily.
She didn’t know why this surprised her so much, though. When she thought about it, she realized her feelings toward the brunette had been changing from friendship to something deeper along the way, she just hadn’t noticed the change.
She had never fallen in love with a woman before, and she would never have believed she could. But, with Emily, it just seemed natural. She was probably the most beautiful, caring, compassionate woman JJ had ever met, and she was absolutely adorable with her geeky humor. She was really easy to love. And that was why it hurt so much. Because she knew it would never happen. She wouldn’t and couldn’t risk her friendship with the older woman, and besides, Emily was clearly straight. And then there still was the small fact of her pregnancy. She just couldn’t force a baby onto Emily, that wouldn’t be fair to her. Emily had promised to help with her child, of course, but as a friend. As an aunt for her son, but not as a second mother.
So she decided to keep her feelings to herself, while trying to spend as much time with Emily as she could.
Part 6