Discussions about social interaction

[greylady]

For the people with whom I was discussing this earlier; Genevieve Valentine's experience at Readercon.

Comments

one minor quibble

[erik_j_meyer]

The writer says, "A brief conversation is not an opportunity to try your luck." I must disagree. That is how dating sites, bars, clubs and parties the world over seem to function. Sure, maybe a longer conversation would be ideal, but in the fishbowl setting you are in you might as well try out the waters to see if you should stay or go elsewhere. The rest? Spot on.

Re: one minor quibble

[greylady]

I think in this case, the "not an opportunity to try your luck" statement is more a "no grabbing" interpretation. What I think you're thinking of (and please correct me if I'm mistaken) is the sort of "are you interested?" social gambit that's perfectly acceptable as long as the asking party is okay with the "no" response.

Re: one minor quibble

[erik_j_meyer]

Yes, the eye contact, raised eye-brow, and coy smile gambit. Invadinig personal space takes it out of the realm of 'conversation' for me. An obvious response that can not be easily misinterpreted is always a great item as well.

Re: one minor quibble

[greylady]

I don't think that anyone is saying "light flirting is inappropriate" in these cases. I think it's when people mistake grappling for flirting that the problems crop up.