One Whole Year
Summary: Had it really been one whole year? Four different perspectives on a night that changed their lives forever.
Pairing: Puck/Rachel, Finn/Quinn - Ensemble
Rating: PG-13
One whole year.
365 days, 525600 minutes.
How had they wound up here?
Finn fell into his bed wearily, barely taking a moment to shirk his jeans, exhaustion calling to him seductively. Had it really been one year?
In one year, it seemed so much had changed - good stuff but still everything was different. In twelve months his life had been turned on its head, bringing nearly four hundred days of new lessons, mistakes and bridge building.
His phone buzzed above his head, he wearily he dragged it down to eye level.
Goodnight Finn. Sleep well. I love you. -Q
A lazy smile curled on his lips and he nodded softly, returning his phone to its spot. Almost a year ago today, he had gotten another message, but it was nothing like that one.
His mind still couldn’t grasp with the fact - one whole year. Where had all the time gone? He still felt like he was sitting in his bedroom, Xbox controller in his hand, a grimace firm in place, unshowered and gross, just shy of his sixteenth birthday.
He had been sulking all Spring Break - because Quinn was going to have the baby that he had loved, even when he knew it wasn’t his. He was sulking because Puck was the baby’s father and because Quinn had lied to him all along. He was sulking because life was hard.
All he had done for all of his holiday had been eat and play games, only taking brief breaks to sleep until the late afternoon. Not much, not even his mother, could attempt to break the helpless monotony of her usually wholesome son.
And then he’d gotten the message.
She’s coming - Q
There had been no doubt in his mind what that message had meant, and he couldn’t deny the way his heart had leapt into his chest and his stomach had knotted. The baby.
But another part of him - maybe it was the part with his retarded brain, couldn’t bring himself to reply. He knew he shouldn’t care, that the baby wasn’t his and that this was Puck’s mess to deal with. But he was Finn, and he didn’t know how to not care.
He sat there, torn between the guy he was, and the guy he wished he knew how to be. He wished he was like Puck and that he didn’t need to feel things. He didn’t need to feel scared when he learnt he was having a baby, he didn’t need to feel devastated when he learnt the baby wasn’t his and he didn’t need to be worried at the thought of Quinn now. Things would be so much easier if he were Puck.
His phone had begun to blare loudly, signalling that someone was ringing. Hurried, as not to wake his mom, he answered it, pressing it up to his ear.
‘Hello?’ he whispered.
‘Finn, you need to get to the hospital now. Quinn’s having her baby,’ Rachel announced matter-of-factly without so much as a greeting.
‘Why do I have to be at the hospital?’ Finn demanded, ‘Why can’t I just stay at home? It’s not like it’s my baby anyway.’
Rachel clicked her tongue condescendingly, ‘Finn. You know as well as I do that you care about this baby as much as Quinn does and that you still consider her your responsibility. Do you really want to miss something as important as this?’
‘But what about Puck...’
‘What about him? If he shows, he shows, it’s his God given right as the provider of DNA. But Finn, you are her daddy and you have been since the day you vowed to take care of her.’
‘But Rachel...’
‘Look, Finn, believe it or not, this is your daughter being born. One day you might work things out with Quinn, or you might meet the little girl and fall in love with her and you’re going to wish that you were there when she was born,’
She paused dramatically, heaving a sigh, ‘Finn, if you miss this, you’re going to spend the rest of your life regretting it.’
‘But Rachel, how do I...’
‘Just come to the hospital okay? Quinn could really use your support now.’
With that, Rachel cut off the call sharply and he was left in ringing silence.
Yes, it would be easier to be Puck, who didn’t need emotion. But he wasn’t.
He had jumped from the TV scrambling for a jacket as he sprinted toward the door.
He was Finn and he felt every damn thing that came his way, and so Lord help him if he missed his own daughter’s birth.
That night he had rushed to Quinn’s side, where he took up residency in the plastic chairs amongst Rachel and a cowering Puck. He witnessed the most amazing (and most gross) thing in the whole world, his eyes wide and rendered breathless and his baby girl took her first breath.
In twelve months, everything had changed. In twelve months he had become a Daddy to one precious little girl. After she was born, he and Quinn spent many Sunday evenings on Rachel’s living room floor with her between them, talking. Over time, the cracks of their relationship began to heal because of that beautiful girl, because of the promise she held for them and slowly, he realized why he had loved Quinn to begin with. Motherhood had changed her, she was softer, less cruel, slower to insult and holding her in his arms felt completely right. He learnt to forgive her and gained a perfect family in the process.
So much had changed in twelve months, and the boy he was today was certainly a far reach from the boy who existed a year ago today. Where had the time gone?
One whole year.
365 days, 204 maths classes skipped.
How had it slipped away from him?
Puck arrived home late that night, his girlfriend’s chaste kisses still lingering on his lips. He had been over at her house again, dinner with the Berry’s and the crazy, fucked up family that they had over there. He had sat with his girlfriend holding his hand, his daughter resting on his knee and his baby mama on the other side, chatting over spaghetti and meatballs. There was no way that that was normal.
As they talked, the topic of tomorrow was brought up and they all talked about where they had been at that moment, 365 days ago.
Even though Puck had brushed it off (he didn’t like to get caught up in the chick shit), he could still remember the day vividly.
Quinn had been the one to call him, at some ungodly hour when he was swathed in his duvet, still sleeping off his hangover from the night before. When his phone had begun to bleat he had cursed at it, to no avail. It was persistent and whiny and loud (it kind of reminded him of someone when he thought about it).
The first thing he noticed when he picked up the phone was her voice.
‘Puck,’ she gasped, breathlessly, ‘I’m in labour.’
Puck froze for what felt like an eternity.
‘Like, with the baby?’ he asked.
‘Yes you fucking moron! The baby!’ she screeched, her voice rising in decibels rapidly.
He heard Rachel’s voice murmuring in the background, ‘Breathe Quinn, it’s okay, we’re nearly at the hospital.’
‘But uh... is it the right time and stuff? Do I... What do I do? Uh...’
Puck suddenly wished he’d read those crap books Rachel had palmed off to him, but truth be told they were sprawled beneath his bed, the new edition of Playboy taking precedence.
‘Puck!’ Quinn seethed, her voice becoming slow, controlled and steely, ‘How can I believe you when you say you want to be a good father, when you can’t even figure out what to fucking do!’
‘Quinn, calm down, your blood pressure will rise...’ Rachel chastised in the background.
‘Well, I’m gonna come now,’ Puck said suddenly, jumping up, ‘Like, right now. I’ll meet you there.’
‘I’m going to kill you,’ Quinn promised, ‘I hate you.’
‘I’ll be there okay?’
With that, he ended the phone call, leaping up out of bed. He spent the night at the hospital, trying to dodge resentful glares from Finn. As the hours dragged on, it became apparent that they couldn’t function like that and they began to bicker as Quinn’s contractions peaked. They pushed and shoved, jostling to prove their devotion to her which only agitated her more. She screeched at Rachel, who took control of the situation firmly, telling them to get out of the room until they could shut up.
They spent an hour and a half in the corridor in a bitter silence, Puck staring at his feet, wondering what was going on the door behind him.
And then he was the first to say it.
‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured softly, saying those words for the first time in his life, ‘I’m sorry for what I did, and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you the truth.’
Finn’s head snapped up, his eyes round with surprise, left breathless.
‘Look, I’m sorry that it all happened this way and I’m... I’m sorry for everything that happened. I know you don’t want to forgive me or whatever, but I just thought you should like... know.’
Finn stared at him blankly for a few beats before finally nodding curtly, ‘Uh... thanks.’
In hindsight, Puck knew that was the moment that their friendship had been realigned. It wasn’t perfected and it would take them six more months until they finally felt like friends again, and even though their friendship had changed forever, he knew those words had helped to repair it all.
The year from that moment on had gone so fast - he swore it was still only minutes ago that the nurse was urging him to cut the cord and he was shaking too hard to do it, because lying on Quinn’s chest was a pink and writhing human being who was brand new and a part of him. And then it seemed he’d blinked and twelve months of pacifiers and diapers and discussing things he’d never thought he would had passed by him. He found himself a year older and many years wiser, suddenly knowledgeable in all things strollers, could construct a flat pack baby furniture with his eyes closed and could easily offer guided tours of the local Babies’R’Us. It was hard to believe that a year ago today he was just another random guy, a jerk, irresponsible and immature whose only future plans contained his Friday night engagement with a couple of bottles of rum and harassing the skinheads at skate park with the hope to get into a fight. And now...
Like it or not, he was a father. And usually, despite his protests the year before, he liked it. He enjoyed watching her, curling her into his lap, watching football together as she gurgled happily, one arm around his girlfriend. He enjoyed being there as she grew, watching this little person explore this brand new world around her - testing her boundaries and learning something every single day and he enjoyed his new family - no matter how bizarre or completely screwed up it was. And secretly, he enjoyed that he had become a total sap.
His phone buzzed above his head and he reached out to check the new message.
Thanks for coming around tonight, I had a lot of fun. Lacey’s says goodnight too. We love you! Xxx - R
Puck shook his head softly - what a year. How the time had flown...
One whole year.
365 days and 98 Glee rehearsals.
How much had life changed?
Rachel woke up to the sound of crying, soft and bleating from down the hall somewhere. It had become commonplace - these days the house was very rarely silent for more than a few moments at a time and being awoken by a baby was no news.
Gently, Rachel swung herself out of bed and padded down the hall into the room the baby now habituated in.
She crept in a little further, leaning over to peer into the crib. Lacey was lying in there, her face screwed up mid-scream, her little cheeks red and furious.
‘Hey there,’ Rachel cooed softly, ‘It’s okay.’
Gently she eased the baby out of the crib and into her arms, curling her into a comfortable embrace.
‘How about we let Mommy sleep a little longer hey sweetie?’ Rachel coaxed.
She swayed back and forth and Lacey began to quieten, until she was reducing to sniffling tearfully.
‘Good girl,’ Rachel murmured, ‘You’re such a good girl.’
Rachel walked across the room, settling into the rocker that her father’s had bought Quinn for her baby shower. Lacey began to gurgle contentedly, her big blue eyes wide and curious at her surroundings. Rachel glanced at her watch, confirming that it was 5 o’clock in the morning.
‘Happy birthday Miss Lacey,’ Rachel whispered, ‘One whole year huh?’
Lacey continued to babble and it drew a smile to Rachel’s face, ‘I know. Crazy.’
She could still remember what it felt like, twelve months beforehand. Her house had been an empty place, sad and lonely often even after Quinn had moved in the day after Sectionals. She had been friendless and vulnerable, internally insecure all the time. And then, exactly a year ago today, everything had changed. The night before, Quinn had woken her up, wide eyed and urgent, panicky and shaking. She knew the baby was coming.
All through the night, Quinn had screamed and writhed in pain, crushing the hands of the boys at her side. Rachel watched (with vague horror - noting to never have children of her own), offering help whenever she could.
Finally, with the breaking light of morning Lacey Drizzle Fabray had been born into the world, kicking and screaming. She remembered her hand slipping into Puck’s as he shook from head to toe, the enormity of the situation finally settling upon his shoulders. She remembered Finn standing in the corner, dazed and stunned, peering fearfully at the baby and she remembered Quinn sobbing as the baby was placed on her chest - crying for the mother she wished had been there with her.
In that moment, Rachel realized that Quinn was just as lonely as she was and in that instant Quinn and Lacey became her family. From that moment on, life had been crazy. The house slowly filled with furniture and teeny tiny clothes. She slowly fell in love with the boy-least-expected and she found a place in her heart for more and more people. Her evenings were no longer spent to her MySpace page (it lay abandoned now) and instead she turned to a more dedicated audience - a captivated Lacey. Often, in her video’s place, her evenings were spent with Quinn and while the blonde worked on her biology homework, Rachel reheated Chinese leftovers, jiggling the bouncer on the ground to keep Lacey content. Then they would swap and as Quinn helped Rachel revise American history, they dangled toys above Lacey’s head amidst her soul melting giggles. Finally, they would end each evening curled on the couch together, listening to the baby’s soft snores from the monitor beside them. They fell into a neat routine that eventually became like second nature; so much so, she almost forgot what life was like without it.
A year on, and the house was never silent. There was always laughter and often tears amongst the chatter of their family coming and going. Their fellow Glee clubbers would drop around often, ensuring that the mingling of voices, the delicate flow of music always resonated within their home. Rachel now knew what it felt like to have friends, a large, extended family that filled her with warmth. She had found love in the most surprising places - in the Mohawk sporting Jewish hooligan who wasn’t so bad after all, in the uppity pure blonde cheerleader whose heart was gentle and open, in the club who used and abused her who finally took the time to love her and in the angelic face of the baby who had caused so much trouble who ended up being the best thing that had ever happened to any of them.
Rachel shook her head with a soft sigh, looking down at that perfect little face that was gazing back at her. Time certainly changed everything.
One whole year.
365 days and 2190 diapers changed.
Where had the time gone?
Quinn woke up unusually late that morning, her baby’s absent cries allowing her to sleep a little longer. But when eight o’clock arrived without disruption, Quinn had begun to fret in her sleep.
That’s how she had wound up padding down the hall, voluntarily awake for the first time in months, heading toward the nursery.
Quinn noted Rachel’s open door as she passed it by, the brunette remarkably absent from her usual Saturday morning yoga session on her bedroom floor.
Quinn stepped into the nursery quietly, only to find it empty. She knew that her baby was in safe hands somewhere, but she wanted to hold her now.
Swiftly, Quinn swooped through the house, calling softly for her daughter.
She tracked her all the way to the kitchen, to find Rachel with a plate of toaster strudels before her, Lacey sitting in the high chair beside her, banging a plastic doll against the tray.
‘There you are my beautiful baby,’ Quinn smiled, ‘Good morning,’
Lacey gurgled cheerfully and Quinn leant over to press a kiss to her soft forehead. Quinn then moved into the kitchen, reaching for a tin of baby food.
‘Morning Rach,’ Quinn greeted, as she walked back over to her baby, ‘How did you sleep?’
‘Well,’ Rachel beamed, ‘Miss Lacey and I had a grand chat overnight. We were just thinking about where we were a year ago.’
Quinn smiled fondly, as she turned to her baby to offer her the first mouthful, ‘Wow... a year already...’
Rachel laughed, ‘I know. It seems like yesterday doesn’t it?’
Quinn nodded, caught up in distant thoughts, ‘Yeah...’
‘Anyway, I’m going to go for a shower before everyone else starts arriving. Do you need me to do anything for Lace?’
Quinn shook her head vaguely and Rachel slipped up the stairs leaving her alone with Lacey.
Quinn stared at her baby as she mushed the mouthful of pureed food in her tiny mouth. A year ago...
She remembered that morning clear as day - just out of an eighteen hour labour, trembling with exhaustion, sweat matting her hair, her thin hospital gown clinging to her sweat drenched frame, holding her in her arms.
She remembered cradling Lacey against her chest all alone in the room, while Rachel devoted herself to convincing the boys to go find the cafeteria. She sat by the window, watching the sunshine stream in, watching the scurrying people below her. She remembered being rendered wordless because this tiny thing in her arms was perfect - ten fingers, ten toes, completely unmarked by the horrors of the world around her. This tiny thing had never seen anything before and she had so many new things to learn. She remembered being terrified because this baby was all hers - her responsibility, her life to mould, her person to guide and it was her decisions that would shape this tiny thing’s entire life. She was amazed because while her whole world had changed forever, the people outside were still living their lives, going to work, visiting families, buying houses, grieving deaths. Quinn’s life had been turned on its head, yet the world continued to spin without realizing how enormous this was to her.
The twelve months that followed that morning had been wondrous and terrifying all at once. With Rachel, Puck and Finn by her side they had watched their tiny thing morph, squealed over her first laugh, screech as she learnt to crawl, cry as she took her first wobbly steps. In twelve months the four of them had truly become parents - whether by blood or not, they all cared for her, doted on her and took responsibility for everything she did. For Quinn, her life had felt full for once in her life as she and Lacey discovered a whole new world together. She saw the world through her daughter’s eyes and loved every day watching her learn. There had been a lot of tears in the path and she had spent many nights weary, gritty eyed and awake in the rocking chair, cradling the screaming baby. While all the other girls her age were learning about the reproduction of flowers and the conjugation of Spanish she had learnt of other, and equally significant things. In her time she had learnt of her daughter’s dislike for pumpkin, the disastrous effects of misplacing the pacifier in the dark and just how large her baby’s lung capacity was when the grocery store ran out of formula.
But in between the tears, there was always laughter - the moments with Rachel as they played with her, the hysteria of watching Lacey’s fixation with the shiny baubles on the Christmas tree at Finn’s, doubled over as Puck stomped bitterly around Rachel’s cul-de-sac in a fairy costume that Rachel had bought for him for his daughter’s first Halloween.
Quinn shook her head softly, drawing herself out of her reverie. Lacey gurgled, mumbling a few incomprehensible words and she reached out, scooping her out of the chair. Quinn settled her into her arms - pressing another kiss to the top of her soft, downy hair.
‘You are the best thing that ever happened to me,’ Quinn whispered softly, holding her tightly, ‘I love you baby.’
Lacey giggled, her baby blue eyes transfixed on her mother and Quinn smiled.
‘One whole year hey? Happy Birthday my little girl.’
It had been the hardest, most trying and yet best year of her life. And it had passed the fastest - now her baby was a little further away from being a baby. She was growing up.
One whole year. Would time ever slow down again?
There day was a joyous occasion - Puck showed up first, bright and early, holding a loft of pretty pink cake and a pack of cheap candles.
‘You didn’t put crack in it this time?’ Quinn demanded.
Puck merely grinned wolfishly with a shrug, ‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’
He sauntered into the room, palming the cake off to Quinn while swooping his daughter out of her arms, ‘Hello baby!’ he greeted.
Finn was next, bearing a huge gift wrapped box with elaborate bows and ribbons garnishing it. His eyes were bright and sparkly as he entered, searching the house for the sought after little girl. When he found her, he stole her off Puck and settled on the floor, singing silly songs to her.
And slowly but surely everyone else followed - Artie and Tina holding hands, Santana, Brittany, Mike and Matt all together, Mercedes and finally Kurt carrying what appeared to be a giant pink bear.
They settled around the kitchen table together, laughter and music flowing once more. There was singing and chattering filling every crevice of the home that was never silent.
As they burst into a robust chorus of Happy Birthday, Quinn helped her daughter blow out the candles. She looked at the table around her, their face frozen in gleeful delight, mid-song. There was her new family - the people she’d tormented, and the people who had tormented her. And now they were her family. There was Finn who was grinning; his fingers held aloft in Spirit Fingers, there was Puck whose face was so uncharacteristically gentle as he looked upon his daughter, his girlfriend in his lap. And there was Rachel - the girl she owed so much to, who owed her nothing in return. Her best friend, her sister, her unwavering support.
Finally she glanced down at her baby, as they finished the song amid hearty laughter. Her beautiful, golden haired baby - the best thing that had happened to her, no matter what anybody else thought. This was the only family she could ever want.
‘Happy Birthday baby,’ she murmured, ‘Make a wish,’
One whole year.
365 days, 37, 195, 209 beats of a heart that was finally whole.
She wished for things to never change.