Okay, back to the original point: today sux. I thought things with Nick and I were going really well, if only as friends. But then Amber told me a few things that made me see things in a new light. Yes, they are dating (or something) even though Nick has said "there's no way I could be attracted to her, you've seen her" and "i couldn't even ever ( Read more... )

Today really sux. Nick and I had a fabulous night. We went to Lavendar Ball, then to Bounce, and to Denny's to get something to eat. We cuddled up in the bed and kissed good night. (a few times) Massaged each others "owies" from binding. We fell asleep in each others arms, and he kept a hand on me or an arm around me all night, and it was wonderful ( Read more... )

It's 1:40 A.M. and I can't sleep. I'm watching a Chris Rock comedy routine. A new one. It's called "Never Scared". Before this I watched "Head of State". All these D.C. based shows, and that is where I'm supposed to go this weekend. Hmmmm, is this a hint that I should go, or that I shouldn't? LOL Chris Rock is talking about how women are never ( Read more... )

Okay, it's Thursday. Overall today has been pretty good. I woke up at eight am (isn't that horrible??) with no alarm clock, which NEVER happens. I'm usually in bed til about eleven. I bought my dress shirt and pants for the Lavendar Ball tomorrow night. Called Nick around 9:30 and then went over there to pick out one of his ties to wear with it. ( Read more... )

It just gets more difficult as the hours pass. God knows I'm far from perfect, but jeez!! Nick must have made me look like some kind of monster to his roommates and to Amber. He went so far as to tell his roommates that he didn't want me at the house any time soon, and didn't want to talk to me if I called. Then he apologizes to me and said he'd " ( Read more... )

Okay, so I can officially say I hate Nick. The lies and bullshit have come to an end, and he isn't even bright enough to realize it. He tells Amber that we've been broken up even though I was with him yesterday, she saw us, and tells me that he is just friends with her, yet he was nervous as hell around the both of us. He knows all the lies he has ( Read more... )

I'm so glad that today is about to come to an end. I left my car at the dealership this morning for a nine AM appointment, and they still haven't done anything to it. This is an appointment that I made because last week they didn't get to it either. The car is still there. With any luck I'll have it back tomorrow. I HATE being without my car. I ( Read more... )

So....I met Nick tonight to talk to him about everything that was going on, let him know I felt pushed aside and that it isn't right. He agrees. He apologized. He said quite possibly it's the newness of the friendship with Amber that makes it so appealing. Maybe. We walked around at the lake for a while and talked and then went to My Friends ( Read more... )

Okay, with each moment that passes I'm even more confused and heartbroken. I love Nick more than anything, but I'm convinced he's been less than truthful with me about LOTS of things. Why is there such a blatant disregard for my feelings or opinions? I'm not a bitch, until I'm pushed. Right now I'm almost to the point of super bitch mode. My ( Read more... )

Tonight with Sarah went very well. I'm always so happy to see her. Looking forward to seeing her (again)at Roseto's on Saturday. That girl is fabulous. We went to dinner, then to visit with Nick for awhile, then to Bounce to see the drag show. Things are getting a TINY bit better. Little by little, you know? Well, it's time for bed. It's 2:15 A.M. ( Read more... )