fic: Blue Efflux

[griffin_black]

Ship: Arthur/Merlin
Rating: NC-17
Summary: That's one way for Arthur to find out.
Warnings: lots of sex
Spoilers: none

Comments

[ravenflight21]

The Prince looked absolutely wrecked. Wet with tears, spit, cum, and sweat

Just how I like my Arthur. Wow - hot stuff! Thank you

[griffin_black]

hee, me too. thanks!

Hmm

[bibliofilen]

Since you asked for honesty.

The plot/porn and the ending were very nice but the vocabulary was a bit offputting. Cum instead of come, buttons and pearlescent fluids feels wrong when compared to the rest of your style.

Re: Hmm

[griffin_black]

Thanks for your input. But why don't those things go w/ my style? I use words/descriptions like buttons etc. because I don't like coming right out w/ prostate and stuff. It seems too dirty and clinical all at once.

Re: Hmm

[bibliofilen]

And yet the words you chose instead would feel at home in a really bad bodice-ripper or a penthouse letter. Much more "dirty". Until I read your comment I was actually half convinced it was written that way tounge-in-cheek as a joke.

I found this post on smut vocabulary if you need inspiration:
http://norah.livejournal.com/39308.html

Re: Hmm

[griffin_black]

Well that's pretty depressing. I looked at the link and I think it will help though, thanks. I do however still feel slightly justified w/ at least some of my word choices, I feel like I read a lot of the same type of descriptions and it gets boring. But I want to be likable to readers too... So thanks for the input.

[ancaangie]

OMG!!!
That was hot!!!

[griffin_black]

weeee, thanks!

[angeliss_fg]

I'm also pretty sure "cum" and "come are two different things, "cum" being to ejaculate or the product of ejaculation, and "come" being to move from there to here.

[griffin_black]

Yeah, that was always my feeling, but everyone has a different opinion I guess.