(no subject)
Yesterday was probably my umpteenth time trying to see where I'm at with the movie theaters about five minutes from my house. While I'm sure showing up there about once or twice every week is probably guaranteeing that I should be accepted there. It's just... getting ridiculous. Especially when now I don't think I'm gonna be getting a straight answer until another two weeks from now. Which I'll probably be out of town (or just getting back). And even then, I really don't know for sure. For all I know I really am just wasting my breath on nothing.
I'm just.. gonna cry or something if I still don't get anything by the end of September birthday tiemz too of all things, lovely. Still really hoping that if this never works, maybe Rite Aide or Commonwealth will follow through for me. Seriously, I just want something. I can bitch and complain about how sucky the job really is later.
... Idk though. Since I do get a little bit of money from my grandpa every 2 weeks (today being one of them o:), I think I probably "could" start working on some of things I want to be doing. But... ugh. I'm just so worried what's going to happen in the future when it seems like we're constantly doing worse each month financially. I guess the only good thing right now is that it sounds like my brother really is moving back in. But I also just hate living in a house that seems like it's falling apart every ten seconds and living with people that just want to trash it more. I tried before to keep things in somewhat good shape for awhile, because it did help make me feel less miserable about everything. But I got so sick of it getting destroyed the next day.
It's just, ugggh, all the more reason why I prefer to drown myself in internet distractions or something else so I don't have to think about all of this. And all the more reason why I get so depressed and die a little inside each time when I do.