I am just so alone sitting in my bed of sorrow hoping someone will come will care will want to be with me. I want someone to want to be with me as much as I want to be with them. I want someone to hold me in his arms and tell me everything will be alright. i am just sick and tired of being here. feeling sorry for myself and hoping someone might ( Read more... )

It doesn't sting like a bee
or feel like a punch to the stomach
There is no avalanche of hurt
no stream of tears
no tears at all

I said what I felt
and was heard

It might not be what I hoped for
what would have happened in a dream,
but it was closure

Cathartic

The Answer

Maybe if I was thinner you would love me ( Read more... )

This is really hard for me to do. I have been trying to say this outside of my head for a very long time. Somehow to me though it seems like it will be real when I say it, and that idea scares me to death.

I am fat

wow, seeing that typed is even harder than I thought it would be. Most of the inhibitions that I have in life stem from my self- ( Read more... )

I just want to fall asleep in someone's arms.
Feel them next to me as my mind slows its thoughts 
and begins to search for rest.

He doesn't need to say anything
just hold me in his arms
so I can feel his warmth 
and hear his heart beating.

There doesn't need to be any love, 
at least not the passionate type
that leads to so much more,

just mutual friendship ( Read more... )

 So I had these two dreams. I think they both happened last night, but one of them may have been the night before. They seemed kind of significant and I wanted to write them down before they left my brain forever.

Crap, I already forgot most of the details of the first one. So here is the basic gist. I was in Fort Bragg for some reason, at night, ( Read more... )

 I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want this to happen ( Read more... )

 What do I want from this ( Read more... )

 Disappointed
Yet again
Why am I surprised?

 First I suppose that I should give a bit of a disclaimer. Throughout this little project I will skip around a lot, things may not seem to add up, and I may change my mind about what I said later on. This is just all part of my process of trying to figure out my life and what has happened and how I actually felt about it. Not how others made me ( Read more... )