[2PM] i've seen your hope on television.
Title: i've seen your hope on television.
Pairings/characters: Junsu/Nichkhun (2PM)
Rating: R
Summary: Becoming Nichkhun’s manager was just a logical course of action in Kim Junsu’s life. [Tik Tok verse]
Disclaimer: Very, very untrue.
Author Notes: Based on the Tik Tok MV, because whoa, hot people are hot. Idk how to feel that the first thing I write in the new year on Valentine's Day is this fic though. It's also been about 2 years since I last wrote a fanfic.
i've seen your hope on television.
nobody knows
that we’re in love like this every day
(tik tok - 2pm)
When they first met, Kim Junsu was a total klutz of a fanboy and spilled all of his drink on the favourite new and popular foreign student of the entire school. In his haste to apologize, he might have even offered lending his shirt to the boy. Years later, Nichkhun never failed to bring up the fact that he had managed to get Junsu to take off his top for him the very first time they had met.
(It was the start of a beautiful friendship, Nichkhun would nod and laugh, and Junsu would bury his head behind his hands in embarrassment.)
Junsu had always known Nichkhun had it in him to be the centre of attention and adoration. Even since the first meeting, there had been this feeling of envy that bubbled up in him because Nichkhun was beautiful and bright and charming and everyone flocked to him without a second thought, even Junsu. Nichkhun was everything he wanted to be.
“You can just lie down and close your eyes and you’re still beautiful.” Junsu complained to his friend one afternoon and Nichkhun just laughed it off. Junsu pretended not to be hurt when Nichkhun’s eyes flickered away as he laughed off his whispered “I love you” as well.
He was sure there used to be some distinction between envy, admiration, and love.
In the summer of their last year of high school, Junsu took Nichkhun back to his home in Daegu. They went out for picnics and fishing and playing football, and Nichkhun leaned close to Junsu as they lied next to each other in Junsu’s backyard, counting the endless stars.
“Let’s make a promise,” Nichkhun said. Junsu pretended not to notice the way Nichkhun’s lips were pressed lightly against the outline of his ear or the way his own body was trembling in the hot humid summer night.
Becoming Nichkhun’s manager was just a logical course of action in Kim Junsu’s life. Nichkhun called him first because Junsu was supposed to be his best friend since high school and Junsu was the one who had been pacing back and forth in his apartment like he was the one waiting for the result of the meeting, not Nichkhun. Nichkhun called him first and said, “You have to become my manager when I debut,” and Junsu laughed. That was what Junsu had promised his friend when he had first started working in JYP Entertainment, that someday Nichkhun would become a star and Junsu would be his manager, and they would be at the top of the world together, side by side.
“Please work hard,” he said with a smile, and he wished he were there to see the way Nichkhun’s doe eyes brightened.
That night they went out together and got drunk off their faces. Nichkhun clung to him, and Junsu pretended his body was shaking because of the cold winter wind and not because of the puff of hot breath on his neck or the pliant body pressed against his. He pressed secret kisses on the top of Nichkhun’s head instead, breathing in the familiar scent and promising himself that they would reach the top together.
Nichkhun was popular, this much was clear since high school. This meant love letters by the litter in his locker and too much chocolate on Valentine’s Day and constant confessions in the school yard. Junsu was not sure he could ever comprehend what it really meant when it came to Nichkhun - the international idol.
Nichkhun started picking up beautiful girls in luxurious cars, and Junsu found himself donned up in expensive designer suits cleaning up after him after each national scandal. Junsu stopped drinking with Nichkhun after the first time Nichkhun slipped away at midnight with an up and coming actress, creating some messy headlines the next morning. Junsu spent the morning running around trying to apply some damage control with all too red eyes that he kept blaming on the hangover. He reasoned that someone had to be completely sober to keep Nichkhun out of trouble after that, but every single time he sat there in the back of some club and dutifully cleaned everything up after the singer after the man had gotten away with his catch for the night.
He pretended not to remember since when they had stopped looking straight at each other in the eyes, or when his own smile had become as automatic and unnatural as the smile plastered on Nichkhun’s face every time the cameras flashed.
It was only natural that Junsu as a manger would live together with Nichkhun, or at least that was what JYP said. He pretended not to immensely thankful for the chance to drag the singer home every night and run his fingers through Nichkhun’s hair to nurse him through the hangover. He might also have tried to erase from his mind the way Nichkhun clung to him, body pressed close and intimate (and reeking of some woman’s perfume) just like that one night years ago.
Nichkhun hung out with actresses and singers and hotshot celebrities, and Junsu rushed around in the background dealing with management company and media representatives and contract negotiations.
It wasn’t like Nichkhun wasn’t running himself ragged for his success either, Junsu reminded himself, because he had seen Nichkhun in the practice studio after midnight working for hours, trying to get a dance routine down to perfection. He had watched him all night, feeling some strange emotion swell up from the bottom of his stomach. He brought a snack and forced Nichkhun to rest before sunrise. He told himself it made up for all the nights Nichkhun spent drinking and fucking faceless girls in the back of his expensive car.
Junsu’s heart perhaps skipped a beat when Nichkhun gave him a smile that almost looked genuine in the faint light of the practice room.
What was ironic was that Junsu was the first one to collapse and not Nichkhun - the international idol.
He had tried to cover up his fever with more make-up than necessary and smiles too bright for his eyes, but somehow Nichkhun had noticed his harsh breathing and cornered him before their usual night out.
“Junsu, just go home and rest.”
“Hey, it’s okay, I’m fine, really.” Junsu shook his head and tried not to notice the way the world was spinning around his head a little. “Someone has to keep you out of trouble.”
“I’m not a kid.” Nichkhun frowned. “You don’t have to follow me 24/7. I know very well how to be responsible for my own self without your help, thank you very much.”
“Yeah? Then I wonder why you keep fucking anything on two legs without a brain.” Junsu snapped out, and maybe it was because he was exhausted, but it was still pretty damn embarrassing that he fainted the moment Nichkhun grabbed his arm.
To Junsu’s surprise, Nichkhun was the first face he saw when he woke up.
“The doctor said you haven’t been eating.” Nichkhun’s face was set in a dark scowl. Junsu was too tired to roll his eyes.
“We’re on a tight schedule. I felt too queasy to eat anyway.”
“You always made sure to stuff food into my face every chance you could throughout the day.”
“Yeah well, that’s my job, isn’t it?”
Nichkhun walked out of the room at that.
In retrospect, that had been his first mistake. JYP called him up as soon as he got out of the hospital. Junsu felt more than trepidation when he walked into the office and realized Nichkhun was also there, resolutely not looking at him. Junsu felt his blood pressure drop even further as soon as the words “second manager” turned up in the conversation.
“I understand that Nichkhun values you as his manager, and he has been very adamant in keeping you an essential part of his career, but I think we all realize that as Nichkhun’s popularity rises, the workload to be taken care of in the background would also become enormous. I know you have been an amazing manager throughout all this and all of your efforts are greatly appreciated, and I really hope you don’t think this is because you’re not good enough, but a secondary manager would help to balance things out to keep everything running smoothly. This is for Nichkhun’s sake and also for your health, Junsu.” Park Jin Young nodded in sympathy, and Junsu weakly dredged up a thankful smile.
“I think it’s a great idea.” Nichkhun spoke up without even turning to look at him, and Junsu felt his insides turn colder.
“Okay then.” The smile felt frozen on his lips.
Yoon Eun Hye was beautiful and capable and caring and Nichkhun gave her access to his (their) apartment. Junsu busied himself with showcase deals and acting contracts and media damage control, trying to erase the thought that kept running in loops in his mind.
It should have been me.
He stood with her in the darkness of the venue, watching Nichkhun perform on stage and pretending the smirk Nichkhun shot their way was meant for him. Junsu smiled back, bright and genuine.
Apparently fame also meant blood letters and horrible unexplained accidents to one’s passing lovers. Junsu tried not to feel vindicated.
(He also tried not to notice Eun Hye’s presence in Nichkhun’s living room early in the morning, running her fingers through his hair after a night of over-drinking.)
Junsu wasn’t stupid. He knew Kim Ye Jin was going to be the last. No accident had been as severe as hers - the crazy stalker was running out of patience. Nervous energy was running through all of them, and Junsu for once didn’t decline when Nichkhun and Eun Hye asked him to go to a club with them. He sat in the booth nursing his drink, watching Eun Hye follow Nichkhun out to the dancefloor, pressing her body against his back. They fit together more than Nichkhun and he could ever do in his dream, Junsu thought and downed the rest of his whisky.
The blows to his jaw and stomach later felt almost satisfying and appropriate.
As did the hungry kisses and painful grips Nichkhun had on him that night, because that detective guy had offered to take Eun Hye home and they were alone in their apartment, drunk and all fired up from the fight. Junsu was drunk, but not that much to pretend he wasn’t a substitute for Nichkhun’s lust. Still, he slid down to his knees and took the burning flesh into his mouth, moaning “I love you” and “please don’t leave me” with his lips wrapped around Nichkhun’s cock. The groans from Nichkhun’s kiss-swollen lips and the come that smeared his own lips were more than enough for answer. Junsu picked up his jacket and went into his own room to jerk off after Nichkhun had finished.
The meeting in JYP’s office the next morning felt too familiar in the sense of cold dread and the line ‘you failed you failed you failed’ that kept running through his head.
The plane tickets thrown on the table nearly made him throw up.
“Only Nichkhun and Eun Hye are going. Junsu, you are staying here for damage control as you are the one with more experience.”
Nichkhun was still not looking at him, and Junsu couldn’t even dredge up the energy to smile politely this time. He knew the ending point when he saw one. He mouthed “I’m sorry” to Nichkhun when they left the building, but of course the singer couldn’t hear it as he was walking in the front with Eun Hye.
Seven years for a relationship was probably too long already. He knew Nichkhun wasn’t coming back. And he was probably too tired to care.
Junsu probably should have seen it coming, but the thing was he hadn’t. The last image that flashed through his eyes before he blacked out wasn’t Eun Hye’s icy expression as she held the poisoned water glass, but the memory of Nichkhun’s soft lips pressed against his own that one drunken night so many years ago when Nichkhun first told him of his debut news.