APH: Build Up (3/3)
Title: Build Up, Part Three
Author: grosse_averse
Characters: South Italy, Spain, with cameos from the rest of the "students" // for now, one-sided Spamano, because dammit, Spain shouldn't be the only one working hard for this fucking relationship. Also a hint of Netherlands/Spain. Past? Present? Decide.
Rating: PG-13, for Lovino's mouth, of course!
Summary: AU. Lovino's spent so long building up walls, he no longer wants to tear them down for anyone. Except for maybe a certain Spaniard. Based on a prompt from 30quotes, and in the Le Lys & La Rose universe.
Prompt: "You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it."
Part One
Part Two
"So your buddy's following me now." Lars interrupted the "awesome" conversation Antonio was having with Gilbert by plunking himself down near Matthew with a quick greeting. Antonio crinkled his nose in confusion.
"Your little Italian friend? Yeah." Lars looked annoyed. "Glaring at me like I just insulted his family or something. Can you tell him to stop that?"
"I didn't ask him to..." Antonio said quietly, mostly to himself as Gilbert sniggered and elbowed his boyfriend.
"What did I tell you?" the pale haired boy asked Matthew. The blond spared him a tired look, paging restlessly through his History textbook.
"What date was D-Day, c'mon Gil we have to know this for the test..."
"Right now, we need to get Antonio together with his little boyfriend!" Gilbert proclaimed, brushing off Matthew's help. The blond threw his gaze up to the ceiling.
"If you fail you're not allowed to complain about it." Matthew said sternly, then closed his textbook with a snap, leaning forward.
"Have you tried talking to Lovino about it?" he asked. "It's obvious there's some mixed communication going on."
"He's mad at me because I said he looked like a tomato." Antonio admitted.
There was a pause.
Then Lars snorted a noseful of pop onto the table. "Oh my God he does!!" he sputtered.
"Oh, ew." Matthew whimpered, staring at his liquid speckled textbook. "Oh ew, Lars, why?"
"Sorry." Lars apologized, wiping half-heartedly at the cover. "But jeez, Antonio, not that I don't like making fun of the kid, but maybe you shouldn't have said that."
"But he did!" Antonio protested. "He always calls me names, but he got angry when I called him cute!"
Lars rolled his eyes. "He's like those grade school kids who pull a girl's pigtails." he pointed out dryly. "Only, he's not pulling your pigtails, Toni, he's acting like a grumpy toddler."
"Oh." Antonio processed this for a while. "So...what should I do?"
"Talk to him!" Lars, Gilbert, and Matthew chorused immediately. Antonio blinked, and looked across the cafeteria.
Lovino was sitting with his brother, as usual, chewing his lunch slowly and deliberately. He glanced over his shoulder and Antonio looked quickly away.
"Okay." Antonio breathed. "Okay, I'll be right back."
The three boys watched the brunet as he made his way over to Lovino's table. The Italian saw him coming and focused resolutely on his meal, brow furrowed. They exchanged words - Lovino looked hesitant and unsure as he rose and followed Antonio out of the cafeteria. Matthew and Lars exchanged glances.
"We should've given him a flow chart of what to do." Matthew spoke up. Lars nodded his agreement.
"Hey, Mattie, so when was D-Day again?" Gilbert interrupted, checking his watch. Matthew glared at his textbook and then at his boyfriend.
"I'm not touching my textbook again." he declared.
Lars grumbled, "I said I was sorry."
--
Lovino took in a breath, let it out. Just breathe. In and out, keep calm.
"What do you want?" he asked. Antonio was examining him and it was making him nervous.
"I wanted to..." Antonio trailed off, staring at him. "Are you all right? Your face is red."
"I'm fine!" Lovino exclaimed. "Get on with it!"
"I wanted to apologize!" Antonio declared with a frown. "If I offended you or anything. I didn't think what I said would upset you. But everything I do seems to make you mad. So why? What did I do to make you mad?"
Lovino leaned up against the lockers, mouth pressed into a flat line. A bit of annoyance showed on Antonio's usually cheerful face.
"Fine." the Spaniard announced, "Sorry for bothering you, then."
"It's not...stop." Lovino reached out to grab Antonio, wrapping fingers around that solid, tanned wrist. Antonio looked back at him, blinking in surprise.
"Lovino?"
"'M not..." flushing, Lovino looked away. "'M not good at this. I'm not - people don't like me. And when people pay attention to me - w-when you say those things I don't - I can't - "
Lovino couldn't finish, scowling and blushes and overall making Antonio inwardly melt. The taller brunet pulled Lovino into a hug, ignoring his yowl and flailing arms.
"What are you doing?!" Lovino spluttered, seizing up. "L-let go!"
When Antonio ignored him, Lovino reluctantly stilled, face burning with embarrassment. They were in the middle of the hallway, anyone could see them - !
Then he became aware of the warmth of Antonio's arm,s the faint spice of cologne, the way the elder's chin brushed the top of his head, and Lovino found he didn't give a fuck.
As if they had a mind of their own, his arms came up stiffly to tuck under the Spaniard's elbows.
"I'm not mad at you." Lovino muttered into Antonio's shirt. "So don't apologize, jerk."
Grinning, Antonio pulled back so he could see the boy's face.
He still looks like a tomato, he thought to himself, Though I should probably wait awhile before calling him that.
"So we're friends?" he asked excitedly, ruffling Lovino's hair and missing the way the boy's face fell.
"Er...whatever." Lovino grumbled. "Yeah, sure, if you want."
"Great!" Antonio pressed a finger to his lips in thought. "Mm - do you want to go out after school?"
"Wh-what?!" Lovino shrieked. "But...but you just said we were friends!"
"Huh? We are." Antonio peered at him. "I meant go out for, like, coffee or something. At the café in town? My friends and I always hang out there after school."
"Oh." Lovino's face was a strange mix of strained exasperation and maybe a hint of disappointment. "That's what you meant..."
"Well, yeah! What else would I mean?" Antonio wanted to know.
The red flush flared up again. "Never mind!" Lovino snapped. "On...only if you're paying!"
"Of course I will. I invited you, didn't I?" Antonio cheerfully linked their arms. "C'mon, let's go back to the cafeteria - you can sit with us, if you want!"
Lovino thought, as he tightened his arm around Antonio and allowed himself to be dragged back to the lunchroom, that he could live with this.
--
Never mind. Antonio's friends were pissing him off. The tall Dutch boy was leering at him from across the table - Lovino was now pretty sure Lars had a tongue piercing, and he didn't want to think about why he knew that. Five minutes ago Gilbert had been trying to complain to his boyfriend about his History test, which Matthew ignored. Now Gilbert was just trying to instigate a make out session - Matthew didn't seem to mind that as much as he should.
All this time, Antonio was sitting next to him, smiling in that stupid way of his and chattering on about something.
After school, Lovino had contemplated skipping out on meeting Antonio after school. He had just bought a new movie and it was sitting on the dresser in his bedroom, ready to be watched. But eventually he had loitered long enough at his locker for Antonio to find him, and the two had set out for the Axis Café.
The Axis Café was about a five minute walk from the school, a small, white-washed building where you could find most of the students after school. Lovino had been only slightly disappointed when they had met Lars, Gilbert, and Matthew there as well.
Finally, Lovino had enough, slamming his fist on the table hard enough to cause Gilbert to remove his tongue from Matthew's mouth.
"You, stop doing things like that in public!" he pointed accusingly at Gilbert, who gave him the middle finger. "And you!" he turned on Matthew. "Grow enough of a spine to tell him when to get the fuck off you!"
Matthew turned pink.
"And you stop looking at me!" Lovino finished with a snarl at Lars, who lifted his shoulders in a lazy shrug as if to say, I have no idea what you're talking about.
There was an awful pause - Lovino started to feel bad. Not even a day of trying to be Antonio's friend, and he'd already insulted everyone.
Antonio laughed. Lovino went wide eyed in surprise.
"Isn't he just so cute?" the Spaniard asked. Gilbert stared. Matthew flashed a hesitant smile.
Lars looked amused. "I guess opposites attract." he admitted. Lovino glowered at him but Antonio (as usual, the blockhead!) missed the underlying insult.
"You don't think I'm cute?" he pouted teasingly, and Lovino felt a hot rush of anger when Lars winked infuriatingly at Antonio.
"You know what I think of you, Toni." was the Dutch boy's answer.
With a laugh, Antonio turned to Lovino. "He's lying, right Lovi?" he simpered. "You think I'm cute, right?"
Lovino immediately found his coffee to be very, very interesting. "I - of course not." he answered. "Don't be stupid."
He looked up, dreading to see the hurt or annoyance in Antonio's eyes - but the Spaniard was smiling, and Lovino's stomach twisted with something he was surprised to recognize as longing.
You're beautiful, he wanted to say, but Antonio's eyes slipped away from him, taking Lovino's words in stride.
"Well, I guess I'm not cute, then!" he laughed easily, not looking the least bit upset about it. Lovino opened his mouth to say something, but Lars was already leaning over the table to cup Antonio's face in his hand.
"I think you're adorable." the tall boy said, earning a delighted laugh from Antonio. Lovino fumed when Lars shot a sly look at him. "Hm, 'Lovi'?"
Before he knew was he was doing, Lovino reached out and slapped Lars's hand away with an ugly scowl. Then he froze as Lars laughed. Antonio was giving him an odd look, and Lovino pushed past him out of the booth with a hurried, "Ihavetogotothetoilet!"
"...What?" he heard Antonio say behind him, followed by Lars snickering, "Guess your Italian doesn't want to share his things, Toni..."
His things? Lovino thought to himself as he stumbled into the bathroom and locked himself in a stall. It sent a strange thrill through him to think that. His Antonio...?
Suddenly, Lovino felt sick. This was too strange, too weird, how Antonio treated him, the things he said, the absolute happiness in his smile...
Lovino leaned against the wall. "Stupid fucking Antonio." he muttered without venom.
--
"Maybe I should go after him?" Antonio asked, glancing over to the back of the café. Gilbert opened his wallet and placed a condom ceremoniously in front of Antonio.
"You'll need this." Gilbert told him. Antonio looked more and more confused.
"What? Why?"
"Wh-why do you have that?!" Matthew exclaimed, horrified.
"Don't worry," Gilbert placated. "I have more."
"You what?"
"Man, Toni, you have your hands full." Lars informed his friend, shaking his head. "I'd hate to have to deal with that."
"It's your fault for provoking him like that." Matthew scolded. Lars grinned at him.
"I was only doing what I do best." the Dutch boy explained. Matthew rolled his eyes.
"What, being an ass?"
"Moving things along." Lars corrected, slipping an arm around Matthew's waist.
"Hands off!" Gilbert snapped, pulling Matthew back towards him.
"See?" Lars shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a natural."
Gilbert called his mother a nasty name.
Antonio sighed. "I don't get why Lovino doesn't like me." he lamented.
He received stunned looks from his friends.
"Oh my God, are you retarded?" Gilbert asked crudely. Antonio wrinkled his nose at the words.
"You are the densest person I know." Lars declared. "I don't even trust you enough to go get Lovino - Matt, you talk to him."
"Huh?" Matthew asked - Gilbert got out of the booth and pulled his boyfriend with him.
"Yeah, Matt, you're good at that. Go and talk to him!"
Matthew pursed his lips. "Why doesn't Antonio go?" he demanded. Gilbert snorted.
"Because if we let Toni go, Lovino will never speak to him again."
"Huh?" asked Antonio, halfway through his danish.
"I see." Matthew sighed. "Fine, fine. I'll go."
When Matthew entered the bathroom, Lovino was perched on the toilet seat, trying to think of how he could go back to the table, get his school stuff, and leave without having to talk to anyone. When Matthew called his name, he almost fell into the toilet.
"Wh-what do you want?" he asked. He could see Matthew's feet under the stall, and drew his knees tight to his chest.
"I don't mean to pry," the blond began hesitantly. "But you're making Antonio confused and...and well, he's my friend so I want to help him."
"I didn't mean to." Lovino admitted in a low voice, feeling guilty. "I didn't...everything just comes out wrong."
"I see." a pause. "Why does everything come out wrong? Why do you say those things if you don't mean them?"
"I don't know!" Lovino snapped without thought. Then he flinched backwards. "I mean...I never really thought about it."
"Are you embarrassed?" was Matthew's next question.
"Embarrassed of what?"
"The way you're feeling." Matthew explained. "I - can kind of sympathize with that. When I got together with Gil..."
"This is not the same thing!!" Lovino exclaimed vehemently, turning red.
"Sorry, sorry!" came the blond's frantic apologies. "I - ah, I didn't mean to offend! It was an example! I just meant, when Gil and I started dating, I was really embarrassed. Not of him, I mean, although there are times I wish he'd shut up. But I was really scared of what other people would think. What they would think of me, what they would say behind my back. I had never done this before and part of me wanted to stay in that safe zone. Like if I didn't date Gilbert, I wouldn't experience that part of life but part of me didn't want to, if it would mean security. And...and that's what I think you're feeling, a little bit."
Lovino thought about that for a moment. "So...how did you decide what to do?" he asked quietly.
He could almost hear the soft smile in the blond's voice. "I had to ask myself if Gilbert was worth it." he admitted.
Lovino didn't need to ask if Gilbert was - that gentle, matter of fact tone was answer enough.
"I don't think I can do it." he said.
"Maybe not now." Matthew agreed. "And that's okay. But sooner or later, you'll want to. I know it. And when that time comes...you have to decide if you want to move forwards or if you want to stay stuck. It's up to you."
"Okay." a pause. "I didn't mean what I said, about you growing a spine, you know. Though you should stand up to that pervert once in a while!"
The edge was back in the Italian's voice, and Matthew was almost relieved to hear it.
"I'll try." he promised. The stall door flew open and Lovino eyed him accusingly.
"Don't do it for me!" he snapped. "If you don't want that idiot's stupid hands all over you, then say something!"
Matthew flushed. "But what if I do?" he asked quietly. Lovino choked.
"Then don't tell me about it!" he commanded. "N-now c'mon! This bathroom stinks."
Matthew couldn't stifle his smile as the Italian placed his hands between the blond's shoulder blades and began pushing him out into the café again.
"Wh-what's so funny??" Lovino demanded, averting his eyes.
"Nothing." Matthew assured him - up ahead, he could see the booth they'd left, Antonio looking over at them with a hopeful expression on his face, Gilbert with his chin propped up by his hand, grinning at his boyfriend. "I hope you figure it out soon, Lovino."
"Yeah." Lovino's voice was quiet.
The thought of it is too much, but this...this right now? This is enough.
"I hope so, too."
--
END
--
Note: I'm hoping to make the Spamano a sort of gradual thing in this AU. I hope you enjoyed the starting point, though!
Also: there is a place called Axis Café where I live - I pass it every Wednesday when I go to my cello lesson. It makes me a little bit happy inside.
Author: grosse_averse
Characters: South Italy, Spain, with cameos from the rest of the "students" // for now, one-sided Spamano, because dammit, Spain shouldn't be the only one working hard for this fucking relationship. Also a hint of Netherlands/Spain. Past? Present? Decide.
Rating: PG-13, for Lovino's mouth, of course!
Summary: AU. Lovino's spent so long building up walls, he no longer wants to tear them down for anyone. Except for maybe a certain Spaniard. Based on a prompt from 30quotes, and in the Le Lys & La Rose universe.
Prompt: "You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it."
Part One
Part Two
"So your buddy's following me now." Lars interrupted the "awesome" conversation Antonio was having with Gilbert by plunking himself down near Matthew with a quick greeting. Antonio crinkled his nose in confusion.
"Your little Italian friend? Yeah." Lars looked annoyed. "Glaring at me like I just insulted his family or something. Can you tell him to stop that?"
"I didn't ask him to..." Antonio said quietly, mostly to himself as Gilbert sniggered and elbowed his boyfriend.
"What did I tell you?" the pale haired boy asked Matthew. The blond spared him a tired look, paging restlessly through his History textbook.
"What date was D-Day, c'mon Gil we have to know this for the test..."
"Right now, we need to get Antonio together with his little boyfriend!" Gilbert proclaimed, brushing off Matthew's help. The blond threw his gaze up to the ceiling.
"If you fail you're not allowed to complain about it." Matthew said sternly, then closed his textbook with a snap, leaning forward.
"Have you tried talking to Lovino about it?" he asked. "It's obvious there's some mixed communication going on."
"He's mad at me because I said he looked like a tomato." Antonio admitted.
There was a pause.
Then Lars snorted a noseful of pop onto the table. "Oh my God he does!!" he sputtered.
"Oh, ew." Matthew whimpered, staring at his liquid speckled textbook. "Oh ew, Lars, why?"
"Sorry." Lars apologized, wiping half-heartedly at the cover. "But jeez, Antonio, not that I don't like making fun of the kid, but maybe you shouldn't have said that."
"But he did!" Antonio protested. "He always calls me names, but he got angry when I called him cute!"
Lars rolled his eyes. "He's like those grade school kids who pull a girl's pigtails." he pointed out dryly. "Only, he's not pulling your pigtails, Toni, he's acting like a grumpy toddler."
"Oh." Antonio processed this for a while. "So...what should I do?"
"Talk to him!" Lars, Gilbert, and Matthew chorused immediately. Antonio blinked, and looked across the cafeteria.
Lovino was sitting with his brother, as usual, chewing his lunch slowly and deliberately. He glanced over his shoulder and Antonio looked quickly away.
"Okay." Antonio breathed. "Okay, I'll be right back."
The three boys watched the brunet as he made his way over to Lovino's table. The Italian saw him coming and focused resolutely on his meal, brow furrowed. They exchanged words - Lovino looked hesitant and unsure as he rose and followed Antonio out of the cafeteria. Matthew and Lars exchanged glances.
"We should've given him a flow chart of what to do." Matthew spoke up. Lars nodded his agreement.
"Hey, Mattie, so when was D-Day again?" Gilbert interrupted, checking his watch. Matthew glared at his textbook and then at his boyfriend.
"I'm not touching my textbook again." he declared.
Lars grumbled, "I said I was sorry."
--
Lovino took in a breath, let it out. Just breathe. In and out, keep calm.
"What do you want?" he asked. Antonio was examining him and it was making him nervous.
"I wanted to..." Antonio trailed off, staring at him. "Are you all right? Your face is red."
"I'm fine!" Lovino exclaimed. "Get on with it!"
"I wanted to apologize!" Antonio declared with a frown. "If I offended you or anything. I didn't think what I said would upset you. But everything I do seems to make you mad. So why? What did I do to make you mad?"
Lovino leaned up against the lockers, mouth pressed into a flat line. A bit of annoyance showed on Antonio's usually cheerful face.
"Fine." the Spaniard announced, "Sorry for bothering you, then."
"It's not...stop." Lovino reached out to grab Antonio, wrapping fingers around that solid, tanned wrist. Antonio looked back at him, blinking in surprise.
"Lovino?"
"'M not..." flushing, Lovino looked away. "'M not good at this. I'm not - people don't like me. And when people pay attention to me - w-when you say those things I don't - I can't - "
Lovino couldn't finish, scowling and blushes and overall making Antonio inwardly melt. The taller brunet pulled Lovino into a hug, ignoring his yowl and flailing arms.
"What are you doing?!" Lovino spluttered, seizing up. "L-let go!"
When Antonio ignored him, Lovino reluctantly stilled, face burning with embarrassment. They were in the middle of the hallway, anyone could see them - !
Then he became aware of the warmth of Antonio's arm,s the faint spice of cologne, the way the elder's chin brushed the top of his head, and Lovino found he didn't give a fuck.
As if they had a mind of their own, his arms came up stiffly to tuck under the Spaniard's elbows.
"I'm not mad at you." Lovino muttered into Antonio's shirt. "So don't apologize, jerk."
Grinning, Antonio pulled back so he could see the boy's face.
He still looks like a tomato, he thought to himself, Though I should probably wait awhile before calling him that.
"So we're friends?" he asked excitedly, ruffling Lovino's hair and missing the way the boy's face fell.
"Er...whatever." Lovino grumbled. "Yeah, sure, if you want."
"Great!" Antonio pressed a finger to his lips in thought. "Mm - do you want to go out after school?"
"Wh-what?!" Lovino shrieked. "But...but you just said we were friends!"
"Huh? We are." Antonio peered at him. "I meant go out for, like, coffee or something. At the café in town? My friends and I always hang out there after school."
"Oh." Lovino's face was a strange mix of strained exasperation and maybe a hint of disappointment. "That's what you meant..."
"Well, yeah! What else would I mean?" Antonio wanted to know.
The red flush flared up again. "Never mind!" Lovino snapped. "On...only if you're paying!"
"Of course I will. I invited you, didn't I?" Antonio cheerfully linked their arms. "C'mon, let's go back to the cafeteria - you can sit with us, if you want!"
Lovino thought, as he tightened his arm around Antonio and allowed himself to be dragged back to the lunchroom, that he could live with this.
--
Never mind. Antonio's friends were pissing him off. The tall Dutch boy was leering at him from across the table - Lovino was now pretty sure Lars had a tongue piercing, and he didn't want to think about why he knew that. Five minutes ago Gilbert had been trying to complain to his boyfriend about his History test, which Matthew ignored. Now Gilbert was just trying to instigate a make out session - Matthew didn't seem to mind that as much as he should.
All this time, Antonio was sitting next to him, smiling in that stupid way of his and chattering on about something.
After school, Lovino had contemplated skipping out on meeting Antonio after school. He had just bought a new movie and it was sitting on the dresser in his bedroom, ready to be watched. But eventually he had loitered long enough at his locker for Antonio to find him, and the two had set out for the Axis Café.
The Axis Café was about a five minute walk from the school, a small, white-washed building where you could find most of the students after school. Lovino had been only slightly disappointed when they had met Lars, Gilbert, and Matthew there as well.
Finally, Lovino had enough, slamming his fist on the table hard enough to cause Gilbert to remove his tongue from Matthew's mouth.
"You, stop doing things like that in public!" he pointed accusingly at Gilbert, who gave him the middle finger. "And you!" he turned on Matthew. "Grow enough of a spine to tell him when to get the fuck off you!"
Matthew turned pink.
"And you stop looking at me!" Lovino finished with a snarl at Lars, who lifted his shoulders in a lazy shrug as if to say, I have no idea what you're talking about.
There was an awful pause - Lovino started to feel bad. Not even a day of trying to be Antonio's friend, and he'd already insulted everyone.
Antonio laughed. Lovino went wide eyed in surprise.
"Isn't he just so cute?" the Spaniard asked. Gilbert stared. Matthew flashed a hesitant smile.
Lars looked amused. "I guess opposites attract." he admitted. Lovino glowered at him but Antonio (as usual, the blockhead!) missed the underlying insult.
"You don't think I'm cute?" he pouted teasingly, and Lovino felt a hot rush of anger when Lars winked infuriatingly at Antonio.
"You know what I think of you, Toni." was the Dutch boy's answer.
With a laugh, Antonio turned to Lovino. "He's lying, right Lovi?" he simpered. "You think I'm cute, right?"
Lovino immediately found his coffee to be very, very interesting. "I - of course not." he answered. "Don't be stupid."
He looked up, dreading to see the hurt or annoyance in Antonio's eyes - but the Spaniard was smiling, and Lovino's stomach twisted with something he was surprised to recognize as longing.
You're beautiful, he wanted to say, but Antonio's eyes slipped away from him, taking Lovino's words in stride.
"Well, I guess I'm not cute, then!" he laughed easily, not looking the least bit upset about it. Lovino opened his mouth to say something, but Lars was already leaning over the table to cup Antonio's face in his hand.
"I think you're adorable." the tall boy said, earning a delighted laugh from Antonio. Lovino fumed when Lars shot a sly look at him. "Hm, 'Lovi'?"
Before he knew was he was doing, Lovino reached out and slapped Lars's hand away with an ugly scowl. Then he froze as Lars laughed. Antonio was giving him an odd look, and Lovino pushed past him out of the booth with a hurried, "Ihavetogotothetoilet!"
"...What?" he heard Antonio say behind him, followed by Lars snickering, "Guess your Italian doesn't want to share his things, Toni..."
His things? Lovino thought to himself as he stumbled into the bathroom and locked himself in a stall. It sent a strange thrill through him to think that. His Antonio...?
Suddenly, Lovino felt sick. This was too strange, too weird, how Antonio treated him, the things he said, the absolute happiness in his smile...
Lovino leaned against the wall. "Stupid fucking Antonio." he muttered without venom.
--
"Maybe I should go after him?" Antonio asked, glancing over to the back of the café. Gilbert opened his wallet and placed a condom ceremoniously in front of Antonio.
"You'll need this." Gilbert told him. Antonio looked more and more confused.
"What? Why?"
"Wh-why do you have that?!" Matthew exclaimed, horrified.
"Don't worry," Gilbert placated. "I have more."
"You what?"
"Man, Toni, you have your hands full." Lars informed his friend, shaking his head. "I'd hate to have to deal with that."
"It's your fault for provoking him like that." Matthew scolded. Lars grinned at him.
"I was only doing what I do best." the Dutch boy explained. Matthew rolled his eyes.
"What, being an ass?"
"Moving things along." Lars corrected, slipping an arm around Matthew's waist.
"Hands off!" Gilbert snapped, pulling Matthew back towards him.
"See?" Lars shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a natural."
Gilbert called his mother a nasty name.
Antonio sighed. "I don't get why Lovino doesn't like me." he lamented.
He received stunned looks from his friends.
"Oh my God, are you retarded?" Gilbert asked crudely. Antonio wrinkled his nose at the words.
"You are the densest person I know." Lars declared. "I don't even trust you enough to go get Lovino - Matt, you talk to him."
"Huh?" Matthew asked - Gilbert got out of the booth and pulled his boyfriend with him.
"Yeah, Matt, you're good at that. Go and talk to him!"
Matthew pursed his lips. "Why doesn't Antonio go?" he demanded. Gilbert snorted.
"Because if we let Toni go, Lovino will never speak to him again."
"Huh?" asked Antonio, halfway through his danish.
"I see." Matthew sighed. "Fine, fine. I'll go."
When Matthew entered the bathroom, Lovino was perched on the toilet seat, trying to think of how he could go back to the table, get his school stuff, and leave without having to talk to anyone. When Matthew called his name, he almost fell into the toilet.
"Wh-what do you want?" he asked. He could see Matthew's feet under the stall, and drew his knees tight to his chest.
"I don't mean to pry," the blond began hesitantly. "But you're making Antonio confused and...and well, he's my friend so I want to help him."
"I didn't mean to." Lovino admitted in a low voice, feeling guilty. "I didn't...everything just comes out wrong."
"I see." a pause. "Why does everything come out wrong? Why do you say those things if you don't mean them?"
"I don't know!" Lovino snapped without thought. Then he flinched backwards. "I mean...I never really thought about it."
"Are you embarrassed?" was Matthew's next question.
"Embarrassed of what?"
"The way you're feeling." Matthew explained. "I - can kind of sympathize with that. When I got together with Gil..."
"This is not the same thing!!" Lovino exclaimed vehemently, turning red.
"Sorry, sorry!" came the blond's frantic apologies. "I - ah, I didn't mean to offend! It was an example! I just meant, when Gil and I started dating, I was really embarrassed. Not of him, I mean, although there are times I wish he'd shut up. But I was really scared of what other people would think. What they would think of me, what they would say behind my back. I had never done this before and part of me wanted to stay in that safe zone. Like if I didn't date Gilbert, I wouldn't experience that part of life but part of me didn't want to, if it would mean security. And...and that's what I think you're feeling, a little bit."
Lovino thought about that for a moment. "So...how did you decide what to do?" he asked quietly.
He could almost hear the soft smile in the blond's voice. "I had to ask myself if Gilbert was worth it." he admitted.
Lovino didn't need to ask if Gilbert was - that gentle, matter of fact tone was answer enough.
"I don't think I can do it." he said.
"Maybe not now." Matthew agreed. "And that's okay. But sooner or later, you'll want to. I know it. And when that time comes...you have to decide if you want to move forwards or if you want to stay stuck. It's up to you."
"Okay." a pause. "I didn't mean what I said, about you growing a spine, you know. Though you should stand up to that pervert once in a while!"
The edge was back in the Italian's voice, and Matthew was almost relieved to hear it.
"I'll try." he promised. The stall door flew open and Lovino eyed him accusingly.
"Don't do it for me!" he snapped. "If you don't want that idiot's stupid hands all over you, then say something!"
Matthew flushed. "But what if I do?" he asked quietly. Lovino choked.
"Then don't tell me about it!" he commanded. "N-now c'mon! This bathroom stinks."
Matthew couldn't stifle his smile as the Italian placed his hands between the blond's shoulder blades and began pushing him out into the café again.
"Wh-what's so funny??" Lovino demanded, averting his eyes.
"Nothing." Matthew assured him - up ahead, he could see the booth they'd left, Antonio looking over at them with a hopeful expression on his face, Gilbert with his chin propped up by his hand, grinning at his boyfriend. "I hope you figure it out soon, Lovino."
"Yeah." Lovino's voice was quiet.
The thought of it is too much, but this...this right now? This is enough.
"I hope so, too."
--
END
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Note: I'm hoping to make the Spamano a sort of gradual thing in this AU. I hope you enjoyed the starting point, though!
Also: there is a place called Axis Café where I live - I pass it every Wednesday when I go to my cello lesson. It makes me a little bit happy inside.