II
I still have drinking songs stuck in my head. Cadwallader and Demelza, I blame you two entirely.
Oi, Jack - you have Anger Management Classes?? Hah!
How long do you reckon they'll last?
... Shit. Some third year's brought their pygmy puff down to play.
"Kindly remove the pygmy puff from my presence. Both it and I are allergic to each other," said I.
"That's ridiculous," protested the third year, "Yeh can't be allergic to pygmy puffs."
In reply, I sneezed.
"All you need is to get acquainted with it. Go on - give it a pet," she coaxed, approaching me - deadly pygmy puff perched on her shoulder.
"Er - I'm being serious," I interjected - backing away and sneezed again. "Pygmy puffs and I are not a good combination."
Undeterred, she strode forward. "Just give it a pet, go on!" she added forcefully, shoving it under my nose.
I looked down at the ball of fluff, peering up at my with its small beady eyes - and sneezed.
"YOU HATEFUL BOY!" the third year screeched. "YOU SNEEZED ALL OVER HER! WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU?"
Someone kindly remove the third year from my presence? Her ranting is of the Demelza Robins calibre.
Oi, Jack - you have Anger Management Classes?? Hah!
How long do you reckon they'll last?
... Shit. Some third year's brought their pygmy puff down to play.
"Kindly remove the pygmy puff from my presence. Both it and I are allergic to each other," said I.
"That's ridiculous," protested the third year, "Yeh can't be allergic to pygmy puffs."
In reply, I sneezed.
"All you need is to get acquainted with it. Go on - give it a pet," she coaxed, approaching me - deadly pygmy puff perched on her shoulder.
"Er - I'm being serious," I interjected - backing away and sneezed again. "Pygmy puffs and I are not a good combination."
Undeterred, she strode forward. "Just give it a pet, go on!" she added forcefully, shoving it under my nose.
I looked down at the ball of fluff, peering up at my with its small beady eyes - and sneezed.
"YOU HATEFUL BOY!" the third year screeched. "YOU SNEEZED ALL OVER HER! WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU?"
Someone kindly remove the third year from my presence? Her ranting is of the Demelza Robins calibre.