I wish i had the answer. God, i don't even know what to say. I wish i knew what happened. But most of all, i wish i knew how to fix it. Fix everything, all the fights and all the arguing, all the tears...everything that went wrong. I wish so bad that i could go back in time and fix everything. I miss it, thats for sure. I don't know what else to say...
As do I. I'm not sure that I will ever know what to do or say. Hell I still can't figure this shit out. I'd love to know how to fix everything, especially since it's my fault, that's the bitch of it. Unfortunately I'm not sure how. Shit I didn't even expect anyone to read that, kinda thought/hoped everyone forgot about it so I could be like sneaky sneaky and slip the entry in there just to vent I guess. I've got nothin. No ideas, no one to tell me what to do, not a damn thing. And I'm not about to ruin anything for you or get Mike on my ass again, I'm not up to fighting this week. I think I've messed it up enough. As much as I act like I don't give a shit about your feelings, or anything for that matter, I do. And you are happy and that's good and I'm not about to mess it up for you. Just so ya know. And there'll be no more arguing or bitching or talking shit on my part. Anyway... that's all I got. later
It's not all your fault, things happen, we both say things. It was equally my fault as it was yours. I wish there was a way to fix everything, but i guess theres not. I didn't really mean to look at this journal actually. Ya know how the school computers block out some peoples journals, well i went to my friends page and ya, just kinda saw it there. It's not like it was intentional. I didn't mean to disturb your privacy. You're not going to ruin anything with me and Mike, don't worry. And i promise he won't find out about this whole thing and get on your case again. Gosh, i care about you so much. It's so hard though. I think you get what i mean... I'll talk to you later.
Well mostly it is, but if I know you at all there is no point in arguing, I'll lose either way, ha so ok. I wish there was too, I just don't know how. I'm kidding, I'm not mad I just figured that it was all forgotten about and ha I guess not. Cuz Tessa told me she saw it yesterday so yeah. I just don't want there to be a possibility of ruining anything that's all. That'd suck and just put us ten steps back...again. Don't worry, if he gets on my case it'll be my own fault, I'll deal with it, but thanks. yeah I get what ya mean... later
hah, you know me all too well Christian. Ya, i don't know either. I didn't think you were mad, i just thought i'd appologize anyways. I kinda feel bad. Don't worry, nothing will be ruined. I hope everything is going ok with you, haven't talked to you in awhile. Hows it going with Christian?
It's been how many years? I would hope I knew a little bit. ha. Everything is ok with me I guess, kinda. And uh I dunno, it's ok with her I guess, I dunno it's a long story I think and yeah. I dunno, I never know. oh well I guess huh?
Ya, its been awhile, i'd hope so. Kinda, what kinda answer is that?? Well i hope things work out with you two, that's if you want it to...? I guess...I just want you to be happy.
I dunno, I am trying to figure out whether or not it will work, and whether or not I even want to. But I dunno. I dunno bout that but I guess it's possible. not real easy though.
I think that if she makes you happy then you should go for it. But if not, well then thats a whole different story. It's possible. You just have to make it possible.
Yeah I know, but I dunno if I am or not. Sometimes I am sometimes I'm like shut up and go away right now, before I fight someone. And then I feel bad but I'm like damn, I dunno I can't help it. I get annoyed. And she bitches a lot, especially about the damn phone, I hate the phone. Anyway yeah. It's to hard to do...
Hm...I dunno. If the times you're with her overtake the bad, and you're not wanting to bite her head off, then you have to think about that. it's always good over bad. You have to think about the good times, and remember that ya, i'm sure she can get annoying, but is she worth it to spend all the good times with? Ya kinda get what i'm sayin? Prolly not cuz that made no sense, but whatever. You can be happy, i know you can. You've been happy before. What made you the most happy then? and concentrate on that.
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God, i don't even know what to say.
I wish i knew what happened. But most of all, i wish i knew how to fix it.
Fix everything, all the fights and all the arguing, all the tears...everything that went wrong.
I wish so bad that i could go back in time and fix everything.
I miss it, thats for sure.
I don't know what else to say...
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I'm not sure that I will ever know what to do or say.
Hell I still can't figure this shit out.
I'd love to know how to fix everything, especially since it's my fault, that's the bitch of it. Unfortunately I'm not sure how.
Shit I didn't even expect anyone to read that, kinda thought/hoped everyone forgot about it so I could be like sneaky sneaky and slip the entry in there just to vent I guess.
I've got nothin. No ideas, no one to tell me what to do, not a damn thing. And I'm not about to ruin anything for you or get Mike on my ass again, I'm not up to fighting this week. I think I've messed it up enough. As much as I act like I don't give a shit about your feelings, or anything for that matter, I do. And you are happy and that's good and I'm not about to mess it up for you. Just so ya know. And there'll be no more arguing or bitching or talking shit on my part. Anyway... that's all I got. later
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It was equally my fault as it was yours.
I wish there was a way to fix everything, but i guess theres not.
I didn't really mean to look at this journal actually.
Ya know how the school computers block out some peoples journals, well i went to my friends page and ya, just kinda saw it there.
It's not like it was intentional. I didn't mean to disturb your privacy.
You're not going to ruin anything with me and Mike, don't worry.
And i promise he won't find out about this whole thing and get on your case again.
Gosh, i care about you so much. It's so hard though.
I think you get what i mean...
I'll talk to you later.
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Ya, i don't know either.
I didn't think you were mad, i just thought i'd appologize anyways. I kinda feel bad.
Don't worry, nothing will be ruined.
I hope everything is going ok with you, haven't talked to you in awhile.
Hows it going with Christian?
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Everything is ok with me I guess, kinda. And uh I dunno, it's ok with her I guess, I dunno it's a long story I think and yeah. I dunno, I never know. oh well I guess huh?
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Kinda, what kinda answer is that??
Well i hope things work out with you two, that's if you want it to...?
I guess...I just want you to be happy.
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Yeah......
I'd like that also, for the both of us. Not expecting it to happen anytime soon but who knows I guess,
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Why do you say that?
You could be happy if you wanted, i'm sure you could.
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I dunno bout that but I guess it's possible. not real easy though.
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But if not, well then thats a whole different story.
It's possible. You just have to make it possible.
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it's always good over bad.
You have to think about the good times, and remember that ya, i'm sure she can get annoying, but is she worth it to spend all the good times with?
Ya kinda get what i'm sayin? Prolly not cuz that made no sense, but whatever.
You can be happy, i know you can.
You've been happy before. What made you the most happy then? and concentrate on that.
Reply
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