what a difference a day makes... 24 little hours..
last night my brother is telling me a story that went something like this...
Matt: i mentioned to dad that you wanted to move back to the apartment.
Me: oh yeah? what did he say?
Matt: he said that you can't afford it... then he said that you can't afford living here (meaning my house...) either.
Me: What the hell does THAT mean (my mom said i would NEVER be charged rent living at home.)
Matt: I dunno. Then he started joking that I would see you at the Soup Kitchen when i'm working. and I laughed... and I said, yeah she'll be all like *in a rude mean hobo voice*"gimme more soup!"
Ok.. what am i to make of that conversation that my brother and dad had? they want me to be homeless? they envision me homeless? they would stand by and let me become homeless? honestly man...
I don't think I'm mad at my brother, because with his facial expressions and tone of his voice... it didn't seem like he meant any harm in saying that. like... he thought i might get a kick out of it. I'm not faulting him. it's his job to give me shit... but my dad? what the fuck.
on to today.
worst day ever...
Called my mom after i got up and dressed... (up by 9:30 snaps for that) and just cried to her about the whole world being against me and shit. and my hatred for my dad...
that was productive...
spent forever job searching... with no luck
the borders job... is not an option... nowhere is hiring. i walked 3 miles on broadway looking for something...
I got heckled by a mexican on a bike. I think he yelled something dirty at me... because he started grabing himself when he said it. yeah great times...
got back home. got my emissions on my car tested. i passed BARELY...
read the update e-mails from carrie and christine and got pissed that not only are they 21... (and i have a bunch of months to go...) and going to bars... but Carrie's BF is turning 21 soon... so they will be chillin at bars and i'll get to see her even less...
so i was pissed that i'll never see her. then i realized that she's pretty much one of like 3 friends i have in chicago (and one goes to school in Indy)... and that made me sad.
got pissed. freaked out on my mom.
went downtown to Loyola with her with intentions to stay overnight at the apartment. Went to her computer lab for a little bit (or so i thought) Got here at 9... it's almost 2am. greaaaaaat.
She was going through a recently developed roll of film that she thought was all nursing lab stuff... and her students... and it turned out that the first few pictures are mine! from when i went to canada, specifically Montreal with Rae-chelle (who i haven't talked to in.... 3 months? but that's besides the point) The group picture of me bea manu and rae-chelle is awesome! i love it! and i have a picture that pat took of me and seb... and a picture of matt skiba... FROM THE CONCERT THAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT THAT I MET HIM! asdlkahsldhaoraf words escape me.
when i get home i'll scan them.
so... even tho i wanted to die this morning... I'm feeling alright tonight.
FOR YOU BASTARDS THAT DIDN'T CLICK OR COMMENT.... you won't understand how this transformation occured.. and... I HATE YOU.
I would appreciate some insight on the convo i had with my brother...
thnx
<3
Ivon, i miss you. you need to let me know what days you're working so that i can call. I tried a few times today... but it was busy... and i didn't even know if you were working. *sad face*