(no subject)
I feel like right now I'm doing good things.
I'm working a bit and I have a couple bands that are fun and I have some cool friends who are doing some sweet things and I am learning to be responsible and I am not making bad decisions towards relationships, etc, etc, etc.
But...I really want to be doing GREAT things. Even one great thing would be enough. I just want something I can be proud of that wouldn't happen if it wasn't for me. Everything I'm doing is fine, but it's nothing special really. I want to do something special.
I shouldn't really complain because I have a lot of good things going for me. I have a supportive family, loving friends and a community of people who recognize the work I do for the music scene. Still, I feel unsatisfied.
I'd hypothesize that I'm not working hard enough. Or maybe (and more realistically), I've spread myself way too thin to be able to contribute the energy it takes to do something great. If I were to drop even just a few of my projects, I feel like I would be able to constructively contribute to one of my endeavors to turn it into something worthwhile.
The problem is that whenever I don't have a million things to do, I end up not doing anything. It's almost as if I am already putting the max amount of energy into one project but since I still have energy leftover, I start a new project. This goes beyond just bands or musical projects, but into the work I chose to be involved in (subbing, lessons, etc) and possibly the relationships I have with my friends. I feel I have a lot of friends, but relatively few that I am truly close with.
I'm really not sure what I am doing. I do know that I want to be successful in the dying music industry. I just can't decide whether I want that to be by my own music, by performing with others and their music or by promoting and distributing others and their music. I'm not sure if I even have a choice at all.
Ultimately, I feel I need more focus. I shouldn't be sleeping the days away when I could be working on something. I shouldn't be wasting time being jealous of other people's work. I shouldn't be worrying myself if I'm not supporting everyone all the time. Even if I continue down the exact same path I'm going, I need to budget my time and energy much better.
Thanks for reading. Please feel free to comment if you have any input or criticism. Be real, I can take it.
I'm working a bit and I have a couple bands that are fun and I have some cool friends who are doing some sweet things and I am learning to be responsible and I am not making bad decisions towards relationships, etc, etc, etc.
But...I really want to be doing GREAT things. Even one great thing would be enough. I just want something I can be proud of that wouldn't happen if it wasn't for me. Everything I'm doing is fine, but it's nothing special really. I want to do something special.
I shouldn't really complain because I have a lot of good things going for me. I have a supportive family, loving friends and a community of people who recognize the work I do for the music scene. Still, I feel unsatisfied.
I'd hypothesize that I'm not working hard enough. Or maybe (and more realistically), I've spread myself way too thin to be able to contribute the energy it takes to do something great. If I were to drop even just a few of my projects, I feel like I would be able to constructively contribute to one of my endeavors to turn it into something worthwhile.
The problem is that whenever I don't have a million things to do, I end up not doing anything. It's almost as if I am already putting the max amount of energy into one project but since I still have energy leftover, I start a new project. This goes beyond just bands or musical projects, but into the work I chose to be involved in (subbing, lessons, etc) and possibly the relationships I have with my friends. I feel I have a lot of friends, but relatively few that I am truly close with.
I'm really not sure what I am doing. I do know that I want to be successful in the dying music industry. I just can't decide whether I want that to be by my own music, by performing with others and their music or by promoting and distributing others and their music. I'm not sure if I even have a choice at all.
Ultimately, I feel I need more focus. I shouldn't be sleeping the days away when I could be working on something. I shouldn't be wasting time being jealous of other people's work. I shouldn't be worrying myself if I'm not supporting everyone all the time. Even if I continue down the exact same path I'm going, I need to budget my time and energy much better.
Thanks for reading. Please feel free to comment if you have any input or criticism. Be real, I can take it.