Rape Isn't Funny

[growlingturtlez]

Could we please put a moratorium on phrases like "raep time" and "rape face" in capslock communities, lolcats, screen caps, whatevah? I see this all over the place in different online communities and forums.

Could we also do away with phrases like, "I was totally raped by that exam...," or "I totally raped your iTunes music folder...," etc, etc?? I

Comments

[pellimusprime]

xD' Murder isn't funny either, but people throw around "Oh you are so dead" and "I'ma kill you for that one!" all the time.
I know how horrid rape is, but... there are better things to fight for than someone using the word "rape" in a joke. :\ I think.

But it's a difference of opinion, and everybody's entitled to that. -3-

[growlingturtlez]

I agree with you on the murder thing, and people using it in jest. But the thing about using the word "rape" in jest is that it exists alongside the larger problem of rape culture, which includes rape jokes.

So...I'm not focusing on the use of phrases such as "rape time" or "rape face" as the main problem, but as a symptom of the larger problem, which is rape culture.

[freerange_snark]

there are better things to fight for than [fill in the blank]

This is a false dichotomy that people set up a lot: If you're doing something about X, you must not be doing enough about Y. But humans have an essentially depthless capacity for caring, and can do many different things in a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime. Just because growlingturtlez is fighting the watering-down of the word "rape" doesn't mean she's not also rallying against Prop 8, donating to a Hatian relief fund, and pressuring her representatives to pass better carbon emissions regulations. These things are all important and all deserve our attention.

And what's more, there's nothing you can't use the "there's better things to fight about" argument for. Even if you're talking about climate change, which literally has the potential to be the end of the world, there's always something more immediate. And if you're talking about something immediate, like aiding refugees or alleviating hunger, there's always something bigger, like global warming. If a statement can't be made

[pellimusprime]

... All righty then.

I'll have to disagree with you. I wasn't using the term "there's better things to fight for" as a way to overthrow her argument, merely stating that trying to stop the use of a single word is a fight that CANNOT be won, and is, usually, a waste of time. And she isn't so much fighting it as stating her opinion - the same thing I did.

I said that, because that's what I believe. Not because I was hoping to cheapen an argument or anything of the sort. And really I think the only thing you've managed to do is blow the entire comment out of proportion.

[freerange_snark]

Also, it's not like rape victims get "RAPE VICTIM" tattooed on their foreheads, and rape is depressingly common--about 1 in 6 women will experience sexual assault in their lifetimes--so remember that you could be saying that an exam raped you or telling that rape joke in the presence of an actual rape victim. Or a partner of a rape victim. Yes, any time you open your fool mouth. Yes, even women you know really well. Because if you're the kind of person who tells rape jokes, you're not the kind of person women tend to talk about their rapes to.

[littlemisswidow]

Just to let you know, in case you have been uniformed, not only women get raped.

:)

[growlingturtlez]

Not helpful. I'm sure freerange_snark is aware of that, but the context of this comment is rape culture, which is overwhelmingly male on female: violence against women bring glamorized, normalized and sexualized. We both know men get raped, and I said as much in my post, but that's no reason to ignore the gendered dynamics here.

[freerange_snark]

It's true: men get raped, and they too deserve for it not to be treated as a mild inconvenience or a joke. But statistically, most people know a rape victim, and that rape victim is a woman or a girl.

But this is a good time to that equating consensual man-man sex to rape isn't funny, nor are jokes about prison rape.