Seamus and the Siren!
While Seamus and I were sneaking around Hogwarts with our hands over our eyes again, we discovered when we took a peek that we were not in the Great Hall as we expected. No! We found ourselves within the SECRET PASSAGE OF HO ROR!
It said so on the sign!
It was a pretty passage. The passage was filled with lush red carpet, a fireplace that stretched as big as a really small quidditch field. On the loveseat sat a beautiful woman with eyes as wide as Potter's mouth and a body as curvaceous as Snape's nose, a pair of knockers to rival that of Millie's and her lips! They were like two plumped dung beetle sausages. I felt hungry just looking at her. It took a me a couple of minutes after Seamus yelled, "SHE'S A SIREN!" for me to realize that SHE WAS A SIREN!
It said so on the sign too.
Then she opened those plumped dung beetle sausaged mouth of hers and sang. I wrinkled my nose in distaste, and asked that woman, "What are you doing?"
"I bet she's showing off!" Seamus yelled, instantly suspicious. He clutched his bottle closer to himself, "Or wants a sip of me whiskey!"
The woman blinked her wide showing off eyes at Seamus and I and said in a sickingly sweet and melodious voice, "Seducing you."
Seamus and I looked at each other, looked at her, and back at each other. We broke out in laughter. I turned to the poor siren and told her straight, "Look, woman. You aren't exactly our type. See, Seamus here-- he likes his women dark and, well, something resembling Dean! Me? I only have my eyes for one person-- The Dark Lord! Also, I like my women with more well defined pecs, not those shameless excuse for knockers you have on your chest. They look more like a pair of overgrown cantalopes under the influence of a jellylegs hex to me!"
Seamus took a minute to rearrange his face to one of "disapproval" rather than "drunken stupor".
"And for Merlin's sake, put on some clothes!" He added.
The Siren screamed and evaporated in a puff of smoke. In her place was a book. The title on it said, "THE MAGICAL GUIDE TO B A ING"
"The Magical Guide to... Baking? Something tells me that we should take this baking book with us and follow the instructions on page 55!" I told Seamus.
"Really?" asked Seamus.
I pointed to that other sign.
It said so on the sign!
It was a pretty passage. The passage was filled with lush red carpet, a fireplace that stretched as big as a really small quidditch field. On the loveseat sat a beautiful woman with eyes as wide as Potter's mouth and a body as curvaceous as Snape's nose, a pair of knockers to rival that of Millie's and her lips! They were like two plumped dung beetle sausages. I felt hungry just looking at her. It took a me a couple of minutes after Seamus yelled, "SHE'S A SIREN!" for me to realize that SHE WAS A SIREN!
It said so on the sign too.
Then she opened those plumped dung beetle sausaged mouth of hers and sang. I wrinkled my nose in distaste, and asked that woman, "What are you doing?"
"I bet she's showing off!" Seamus yelled, instantly suspicious. He clutched his bottle closer to himself, "Or wants a sip of me whiskey!"
The woman blinked her wide showing off eyes at Seamus and I and said in a sickingly sweet and melodious voice, "Seducing you."
Seamus and I looked at each other, looked at her, and back at each other. We broke out in laughter. I turned to the poor siren and told her straight, "Look, woman. You aren't exactly our type. See, Seamus here-- he likes his women dark and, well, something resembling Dean! Me? I only have my eyes for one person-- The Dark Lord! Also, I like my women with more well defined pecs, not those shameless excuse for knockers you have on your chest. They look more like a pair of overgrown cantalopes under the influence of a jellylegs hex to me!"
Seamus took a minute to rearrange his face to one of "disapproval" rather than "drunken stupor".
"And for Merlin's sake, put on some clothes!" He added.
The Siren screamed and evaporated in a puff of smoke. In her place was a book. The title on it said, "THE MAGICAL GUIDE TO B A ING"
"The Magical Guide to... Baking? Something tells me that we should take this baking book with us and follow the instructions on page 55!" I told Seamus.
"Really?" asked Seamus.
I pointed to that other sign.