First off, Dude that sucks! I am very sorry you are in this situation.
Without really knowing the dynamics you are dealing with, my only suggestion would be to attempt to control the dynamic. Perhaps a "This is my wife, your opinion of her is off the table from now on. It's very hurtful, and will no longer be tolerated." It's very difficult with parents. You may have to cut visits short, endure some anger, etc.
It sounds like you don't want to cut off contact, but you just want the conflict to stop. The important thing is to keep your temper, and maintain control of the situation and be firm.
It is sometimes very difficult for parents to transition from treating their kids like kids to adults. It reminds them of their own mortality, and the loss of the special bond of parent to child. They are human too.
Again sorry you are dealing with this. I hope my response is in some way helpful.
My mother once decided she was gong to try to get me to take her side against Monique (details not horribly relevant, but if you need to know, let me know). I told her in no uncertain terms that I loved my wife and would never let anyone, not even her, come between us.
She told me that until I apologized (for something not needing apologoizing for) that she wouldn't speak to me again. It was a year and a half that we didn't speak before she apologized for her behavior.
"Fuck off forever" is in essence what I said. Stand by your wife 100%, even over your parents. You didn't marry your parents.
Comments 14
Sometimes people need to hear that to punch through their self-delusions and arrogance.
Sorry, man. :(
(Have I introduced you to Captain Awkward? They have some pretty good advice about similar things...)
Reply
Without really knowing the dynamics you are dealing with, my only suggestion would be to attempt to control the dynamic. Perhaps a "This is my wife, your opinion of her is off the table from now on. It's very hurtful, and will no longer be tolerated." It's very difficult with parents. You may have to cut visits short, endure some anger, etc.
It sounds like you don't want to cut off contact, but you just want the conflict to stop. The important thing is to keep your temper, and maintain control of the situation and be firm.
It is sometimes very difficult for parents to transition from treating their kids like kids to adults. It reminds them of their own mortality, and the loss of the special bond of parent to child. They are human too.
Again sorry you are dealing with this. I hope my response is in some way helpful.
Reply
She told me that until I apologized (for something not needing apologoizing for) that she wouldn't speak to me again. It was a year and a half that we didn't speak before she apologized for her behavior.
"Fuck off forever" is in essence what I said. Stand by your wife 100%, even over your parents. You didn't marry your parents.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment