ARRGH!
Pirates of the Carribbean 3 review. Spoilers AHOY!
Let's sum it up.
I loved Pirates 1. I absolutely loved it. I went on the website, I got my own pirate hat. I even was humming the tune forever and ever. To promote my pirate love further, I spent all of KH2 training in Port Royale.
Then Pirates 2 came out. I loved it so much. The ending made me 'HOMGWTF?' in joy. The characters were funny and likable. I downloaded the entire score. Aaron was happy.
Then the thing known as Pirates 3 came out. Before I even start the review, let me say that the line was completely unecessary. We arrived at 7, to see the 8 show. However, the 8 show was sold out, so we bought tickets for the 8:30 show. This didn't work, because our little group got divided, as half of us bought the last 8:30 tickets. In the end, we settled for the 9 show. Go figure.
The line started at 8....for the 9 show. Are you guys still with me? It was fricking huge! Here's a tip: NEVER go see an 'epic' movie on opening weekend. It's a really stupid idea.
When we finally got into the theatre and ignored the boring previews and the REALLY obnoxious guy next to us (he laughed at everything and was talking to his girlfriend for the entire movie. She was telling him to shut up.) the movie finally blared to life.
Let me say....it was great. Or at least the beginning was. The entire sequence in Singapore kicked some serious ass, with all the confusion and action. It really made me believe the movie could achieve greatness. Sao Feng was badass...let me just put that in right now.
Then everything got cold. Very cold. That sequence was really good too. The toe thing was pretty gross though.
All this time, we were like...30 minutes in and I was wondering: Where the hell is Cap'n Jack? Well...he arrived. I laughed first, but then I realized: he was really annoying.
Honestly, Jackie boy killed almost every scene he was in. It was almost like the producers/writers turned him into an attention hog. He became almost as annoying as the guy sitting next to us. His 'shoulder angels' made the situation even worsse. My god, they made him seem like a Looney Tunes character.
When Will 'died', I couldn't really feel for the guy. I mean, everyone was out for themselves in that movie. Not that that's a bad thing, but I found it was too spread out and character development was minimal. Speaking of minimal, let's talk about the whole Calypso/Davy Jones thing.
Let me tell you: WTF? It was really bad and tacked on. Tia Dalma changed her character entirely in this movie. In the last movie, she was all friendly, but in this movie, she becomes the equivalent of Godzilla (complete with ROAR!). Her romance scenes with Davy Jones were equivalent to the scenes with Anakin and Padme in star wars. They were so bad they burned. To top it all off, they didn't even conclude that story arc. What a rip off.
But, back to Sao Feng. He and Barbossa had to be my favourite characters this time round (although Marty still kicks serious ass.). But, like everyone else, he seemed very...tacked on. His character was supposed to be some sort of coward, but he died so quickly. I tell you, they just used him so they could kill off random crew mates.
The gathering of the brethern was cool. But, the fight afterwards was mighty disappointing. I was waiting for a massive 5 vs. an armada fight, but what do they give me? A stupid 1 on 1. My goodness. I wish the film was just: singapore.
Okay, my final verdict. This movie felt very rushed. I would've prefered it if they had actually filmed Pirates 2 and 3 seperately, so they wouldn'tve been rushed for time. The dialogue was godawful, the characters were like cardboard and Calypso was freaking retarded. It's sad....to see a great series end so badly.
Oh yeah, Will is a fish boy!
Let's sum it up.
I loved Pirates 1. I absolutely loved it. I went on the website, I got my own pirate hat. I even was humming the tune forever and ever. To promote my pirate love further, I spent all of KH2 training in Port Royale.
Then Pirates 2 came out. I loved it so much. The ending made me 'HOMGWTF?' in joy. The characters were funny and likable. I downloaded the entire score. Aaron was happy.
Then the thing known as Pirates 3 came out. Before I even start the review, let me say that the line was completely unecessary. We arrived at 7, to see the 8 show. However, the 8 show was sold out, so we bought tickets for the 8:30 show. This didn't work, because our little group got divided, as half of us bought the last 8:30 tickets. In the end, we settled for the 9 show. Go figure.
The line started at 8....for the 9 show. Are you guys still with me? It was fricking huge! Here's a tip: NEVER go see an 'epic' movie on opening weekend. It's a really stupid idea.
When we finally got into the theatre and ignored the boring previews and the REALLY obnoxious guy next to us (he laughed at everything and was talking to his girlfriend for the entire movie. She was telling him to shut up.) the movie finally blared to life.
Let me say....it was great. Or at least the beginning was. The entire sequence in Singapore kicked some serious ass, with all the confusion and action. It really made me believe the movie could achieve greatness. Sao Feng was badass...let me just put that in right now.
Then everything got cold. Very cold. That sequence was really good too. The toe thing was pretty gross though.
All this time, we were like...30 minutes in and I was wondering: Where the hell is Cap'n Jack? Well...he arrived. I laughed first, but then I realized: he was really annoying.
Honestly, Jackie boy killed almost every scene he was in. It was almost like the producers/writers turned him into an attention hog. He became almost as annoying as the guy sitting next to us. His 'shoulder angels' made the situation even worsse. My god, they made him seem like a Looney Tunes character.
When Will 'died', I couldn't really feel for the guy. I mean, everyone was out for themselves in that movie. Not that that's a bad thing, but I found it was too spread out and character development was minimal. Speaking of minimal, let's talk about the whole Calypso/Davy Jones thing.
Let me tell you: WTF? It was really bad and tacked on. Tia Dalma changed her character entirely in this movie. In the last movie, she was all friendly, but in this movie, she becomes the equivalent of Godzilla (complete with ROAR!). Her romance scenes with Davy Jones were equivalent to the scenes with Anakin and Padme in star wars. They were so bad they burned. To top it all off, they didn't even conclude that story arc. What a rip off.
But, back to Sao Feng. He and Barbossa had to be my favourite characters this time round (although Marty still kicks serious ass.). But, like everyone else, he seemed very...tacked on. His character was supposed to be some sort of coward, but he died so quickly. I tell you, they just used him so they could kill off random crew mates.
The gathering of the brethern was cool. But, the fight afterwards was mighty disappointing. I was waiting for a massive 5 vs. an armada fight, but what do they give me? A stupid 1 on 1. My goodness. I wish the film was just: singapore.
Okay, my final verdict. This movie felt very rushed. I would've prefered it if they had actually filmed Pirates 2 and 3 seperately, so they wouldn'tve been rushed for time. The dialogue was godawful, the characters were like cardboard and Calypso was freaking retarded. It's sad....to see a great series end so badly.
Oh yeah, Will is a fish boy!