Hi! I'm still alive! (I posted more or less this on facebook, heh.)
I realize that for most people this isn't actually a milestone, but today I actually rode the bike that a friend made for me, um, a long time ago. I hadn't really ridden a bike in about 20 years, you see. The whole thing was intimidating, and it was so kind of him that I felt very guilty for not having made use of it. My car got fixed, so I didn't need a bike for commuting, and the whole world of cycling was clearly terrifying and full of secret knowledge I didn't have.
Well, I finally decided I needed to figure it all out, and with the help of my most recent complicated ex (the wonderful Kate), I got a helmet that fits me and figured out how the machine itself works. Maria, who has a bike she rides all the time and has been quite an inspiration to me on this one, contributed a hand pump I used to fill my tires. Stormageddon, Kate's baby ferret, was an excellent reward, and was very excited about sniffing my entire bike.
Turns out riding a bike after 20 years is... just like riding a bike. It was slightly harrowing on occasion (no bike lanes, lots of hills, WHERE ARE THE BRAKES I LOST THE BRAKES) but I did fine. It was a huge workout, because I haven't been doing much of anything active for far too long. According to google, I rode a grand total of 3.6 miles. (Okay, a bit less, because I had to walk up the very steep hill I live on at the end, but walking up a hill pushing a bike isn't actually nothing.)
Google suggests that the one-way trip should have taken me 12 minutes. I think it actually took 15. I'm embarrassed about how much effort was involved - I used to be in better shape than this - but really excited anyway.
I still need to figure out how I'm transporting the stuff I lug around with me (I brought one of my bags, slung messenger-style, and it drove me nuts, although if I shorten the strap it'll probably be fine), especially if I'm going to bike to work. I'd like to acquire a good backpack; all I have are messenger-style bags. I need to go through the several thousand water bottles I've accumulated and see if any of them fit in the holder... but overall, success! :)
I have some feeeeeeeelings about this, but most of them are positive. I faced, not just one fear, but about a zillion, because the bike itself had turned into a giant pit of guilt and shame. Facing those was hard. Going into a bike shop where I was utterly ignorant was hard. Actually getting on the thing was really hard. Kate has a knack for making me less scared, somehow; I'm not sure how she does it and neither is she, but it definitely happens. So she was really helpful.
Some of my feeeeelings are about my own weight (higher than I like) and fitness (oh gods seriously that was WAY harder than it should have been). I'm worried that if I try too hard to bike more I'll start hating it, and I always have a lot of feelings about ability/inability/disability when it comes to my body. So I might process those here, maybe.