Why?
People have been asking me "why" a lot lately. I say something reasonable and understandable. Logical. The real answers keep tumbling around in my head, so I wrote out a stream of conscience answer to that question:
- I deserve a return on every penny put towards my education, with interest.
- I put 24/7/365 into a program that underutilized me.
- I gave my love and loyalty, blood, sweat and tears for $20-35k a year, a fucking bargain.
- I am intelligent, quick-witted and easy to teach
- I listen and do as I am instructed, as long as I feel heard and appreciated.
- I am an independent, capable adult and deserve to be treated as such.
- I am loyal, hardworking and trustworthy
- I am sick and fucking tired of working for $5.50 an hour with middle-school drop-outs and asking "Do you want fries with that?"
- I am creative and talented in any field you can think of. If I'm not, it's because I haven't learned it yet.
- I am tired of being doubted and told that I can't do things. You just fucking watch me.
- Treat me well and my loyalty is unshakeable.
- I hate to work 60+ hours a week and only earn $34k a year. My time is worth more than pissant middle-class.
- I have hobbies and activities outside of work that I love. I deserve time and money to devote to them.
- I look fucking hot in a power suit.
- I am tired of working-class bullshit.
- I want my skills to be used for something amazing and world-changing.
- I want my voice to move over people like an unstoppable wave.
- I am sick and fucking tired of relying on the largess of strangers and family to get by. I want and need to feel secure on my own two feet.
- I am magnetic and charismatic. People flock to my warmth and personality.
- I can talk to almost anyone about almost anything. More importantly, I love to listen.
- I have a fire in my gut waiting to be put to a useful purpose.
Looking back at this list now, parts of it seem egotistical and self-important. I would say something humbling about myself, but at the moment, humble pie is all I'm eating. These are true things about me, at least as I see them. YMMV.
If you didn't have the time or patience to read through all of that, it boils down to this:
Because I want and deserve better than what I've allowed myself.
- I deserve a return on every penny put towards my education, with interest.
- I put 24/7/365 into a program that underutilized me.
- I gave my love and loyalty, blood, sweat and tears for $20-35k a year, a fucking bargain.
- I am intelligent, quick-witted and easy to teach
- I listen and do as I am instructed, as long as I feel heard and appreciated.
- I am an independent, capable adult and deserve to be treated as such.
- I am loyal, hardworking and trustworthy
- I am sick and fucking tired of working for $5.50 an hour with middle-school drop-outs and asking "Do you want fries with that?"
- I am creative and talented in any field you can think of. If I'm not, it's because I haven't learned it yet.
- I am tired of being doubted and told that I can't do things. You just fucking watch me.
- Treat me well and my loyalty is unshakeable.
- I hate to work 60+ hours a week and only earn $34k a year. My time is worth more than pissant middle-class.
- I have hobbies and activities outside of work that I love. I deserve time and money to devote to them.
- I look fucking hot in a power suit.
- I am tired of working-class bullshit.
- I want my skills to be used for something amazing and world-changing.
- I want my voice to move over people like an unstoppable wave.
- I am sick and fucking tired of relying on the largess of strangers and family to get by. I want and need to feel secure on my own two feet.
- I am magnetic and charismatic. People flock to my warmth and personality.
- I can talk to almost anyone about almost anything. More importantly, I love to listen.
- I have a fire in my gut waiting to be put to a useful purpose.
Looking back at this list now, parts of it seem egotistical and self-important. I would say something humbling about myself, but at the moment, humble pie is all I'm eating. These are true things about me, at least as I see them. YMMV.
If you didn't have the time or patience to read through all of that, it boils down to this:
Because I want and deserve better than what I've allowed myself.