Just A Feeling (Part II)~
This is dedicated to my good friend, cilok_enak. Hope you like it Dear!
They both smiled and went back to whatever they were doing at the front desk.
"That must happen a lot. You always were a bit loud Jiyong," Seunghyun finished his sentence by chuckling.
"Yeah, yeah~ so Hyunnie~ we need to catch up on all the years we've missed!"
So the entire rest of the day was devoted to catching up. (After classes that is.) They even headed to Seunghyun's apartment afterwards. He made coffee, they talked and laughed just like old times.
Jiyong was so comfortable with Seunghyun- never mind that it had been 4+ years since they'd last seen one another. Jiyong was so comfortable, in fact, that he forgot all about meeting up with Youngbae for another round of sappy love stories.
And when he looked at the time, reality hit him; hard.
'Yah,' he thought, 'Youngbae-ah's going to kill me!'
"Um, forgive me Seunghyun-hyung, but I have to go. I was suppose to meet up with a friend this afternoon and lost track of time. But we'll talk tomorrow!"
"It's okay, Ji." Seunghyun said calmly, shaking his head at his ridiculous dongsaeng. Jiyong bowed repeatedly before heading, in a rush to the door. Seunghyun showed him out, and they said their last goodbyes before Jiyong was kicking up dirt to get to Youngbae's.
Upon arrival, he beat on the door like it was going out of style, he didn't have to wait long at all before the door was open and he was hugging Youngbae in apology. Youngbae's heart had dropped, because he wasn't expecting to see Ji now, and he especially didn't expect Jiyong to be hugging him like the world was ending.
"I'm sorry I took so long! I met up with an old friend, and we were talking-"
"Ji, it's alright~" Jiyong cut him off.
"-and catching up, and I lost track of time and, and-!"
"Jiyong! I said it's okay. Now, are you going to stand out there all day, or come in?
Jiyong just smiled and walked in. Youngbae closing the door after him.
They talked again, and again, and again about nothing at all really. But having been friends for so long, even if they didn't talk, the silence would be a comfortable one.
But they talked just to have something to do.
(time skip 1 month)
Jiyong and Seunghyun had gotten back into their old rhythm, and it wasn't too hard. Seeing as they still had residual feelings for one another that were severed because of distance issues, it wasn't hard to imagine that Seunghyun was going to ask Jiyong out.
So, on that faithful day, Seunghyun waited for Jiyong outside the school doors, just like always.
"Hey Hyunnie~!" Speak of the Devil.
"Hey Jiyong! Let's go~" The walk to Seunghyun's was always a comfortably silent one. And this day was no different.
They arrived at Seunghyun's apartment and he sat with Jiyong as they listened to some music and joked a bit. Seunghyun wanted Jiyong to be comfortable and relaxed when he did this. And that time was now.
"Hey, Ji?"
"Mhmmm?" Jiyong looked at him deeply, taking him in.
Seunghyun saw the opportunity and grabbed Jiyong's face in between his thumb and index finger, much like Jiyong had done to him the first time.
The kiss was soft, smooth, romantic. Jiyong let himself melt into Seunghyun as he pulled himself flush against Seunghyun's chest.
When they pulled apart, gasping for air, Jiyong said,
"Oh." in the tiniest voice Seunghyun's ever heard.
Jiyong was vulnerable, open- and he knew it. Seunghyun pecked him on the lips and asked, "Be my partner in crime Ji? Stay by my side?"
Jiyong laughed. Seunghyun had been watching to much of the 'Takumi-Kun' series it seemed.
Jiyong decided to play along. "That sounds a bit like a proposal~" Seunghyun laughed. Jiyong was really something else.
"Just answer me babe~"
"Yes, Hyunnie~ I will. I love you. You're my Alien-Boy. And now, we're the Alien Couple!"
"Yeah, we're out of this world!"
"Yah! Hyunnie~ you're such a big cheeseball!" Jiyong feigned scandalization, being the Drama-Queen he is.
"Yeah, but you love to eat. So a big cheeseball shouldn't be that much of a problem. But don't go Cannibal on me, alright?"
"Whatever Hyunnie~"
And with that, their 1 year relationship had started. And, undeniably, that was the best year of his life. It was his last year in college, he had finished his internship at a major fashion label, and was (currently) employed there. Youngbae had debuted and was a hit, and his Seunghyunnie had graduated and was cranking out hits right and left, in the music field- and the movie industry.
(1 year later)
Life couldn't get more perfect until the day of their one year anniversary, Seunghyun took him on a road trip. He was blindfolded and Seunghyun wouldn't give him a hint in the slightest. When he was lead out of Seunghyun's Bently and the blindfold removed, he was seated on the bench he'd met Seunghyun on all those years ago.
"Hyunnie~"
"Wait, before you start gushing," He grasped Jiyong's slightly smaller hand in his.
"You know how much I love you, right?"
"Mhmmm?"
Seunghyun didn't respond and put the blindfold back on. He walked to his manager, who was waiting with the puppy in hand.
Seunghyun thanked him, took it. Heading back over to Jiyong before his stubborn attitude and curiosity got the best of him. He kneeled down on one knee in front of Ji, and placed the puppy in his lap, then reached up to remove the blindfold.
What Jiyong saw was the cutest puppy he'd ever seen in his life. A little chubby, and riddled in wrinkles. He reminded Jiyong of young-Tabi instantly. Then he noticed the red ribbon with a small box attached to it.
He didn't believe it, couldn't. Could it be-? No, no- you're overestimating yourself Jiyong, you are! 'Am I?' he asked himself. So, instead of fighting himself anymore, he decided to just find out. He detached the same box and slowly opened it.
It was just as he'd expected. An engagement ring. CHOI SEUNGHYUN WAS ASKING HIM TO MARRY HIM!!!
He didn't know it, but he had began to cry. A puppy and a ring, all in one day?! Seunghyun was just full of surprises!
"Ji? Jiyong? Is it ugly? Do you not like it? Is it too soon? Should we wait-" Seunghyun was cut off by the arms cutting off his oxygen supply.
He rubbed small circles into Jiyong's back.
"You scared me babe~ so I'll take that as a yes?"
"That's a H*LL YES HYUNNIE~!"
Jiyong called Youngbae later that night and asked if he was home. And, fortunately he was on a 2-day break from his hectic schedule. Jiyong just excidedly told him, 'I'll see you tomorrow then~!'
Tomorrow came sooner than expected and before Youngbae knew it, someone was pounding on his front door. 'Jiyong.' he deadpanned.
He pulled the door open and embraced his friend, whom he hadn't seen in a few weeks now.
He had finally gotten up the courage to confess, and he was going to do it today.
"Omo, Youngbae-ah! You know the boyfriend I kept telling you about." 'Oh, yeah- him. Maybe Ji will leave him for me? I'm sure I'm a lot better. I'm a Hallyu star for Gosh's sake!'
"Well, he proposed~! and I want you to be my Maid/Matron of Honor! Or Best Man, whatever you call it!" Youngbae was lost in translation, couldn't form a complete sentence or even one word. And when Jiyong pulled Seunghyun, THE T.O.P, from behind him- he knew it was over. He'd waited to long, and there was no way he'd get Jiyong now.
"Or maybe you could play a song at the wedding? Or is that too much?" No respond. "Youngbae-ah?"
He snapped out of it. "Ye-Yes! Of course! Anything for my bestfriend!" he had to play it cool. He didn't want to upset Yonngie.
Jiyong eyed him a bit, squintingly, and then asked, "So can we come in?" Youngbae just nodded, defeated and let them enter. As TOP passed he patted Youngbae's shoulder.
"Long time, no see Taeyang. I've missed you man. None of the new trainees have half of the determination you did."
Taeyang nodded politely. "Thanks man. Yo taught me alot. And I didn't know you were the Choi Seunghyun Ji's been talking about all this time. So you were his first best friend?" TOP nodded in affirmation. "Yeah, Jiyong and I go way back. And I finally got the balls to ask him to marry me, so I'm quite content actually."
Youngbae's insides were eaten up with envy. Envy because he knew he could never compare to TOP. Envy because Jiyong should've been his. Envy because he was too scared to make a move. He'd had all these years to do it. So he couldn't be mad at TOP, but he didn't have to like this either.
(1 year later)
Finally, after spending the past two months with a frantic Jiyong, trying to make everything Jiyong's standard of "Perfect", the long awaited day had finally come. Youngbae headed to the place the wedding was to be held.
When he arrived he went to see how the groom (Jiyong) was faring, like a good Matron of Honor. When he opened the door, the breath was knocked out of him. Jiyong was dressed in a silk-fitted tux he had designed and made himself. It fit him in all the right places, hugged his lithe frame.
The white dress shirt, under the tux jacket, and red flower pinned to it only accented the suits perpetual beauty. Jiyong had really outdone himself, had resisted the urge to "spice it up a bit" and had manage to make the suit simple, yet completely Jiyong.
And seeing him, here in this room before the wedding service, only served as a bitter reminder that he wasn't the lucky guy. It reminded him, that somewhere, Choi Seunghyun was getting ready also. And would soon see Jiyong's magnum opus.
Jiyong was staring at him. 'Oh God. G-Dragon was talking and I wasn't listening! He's going to spit fire." To Youngbae's surprise, Jiyong didn't do that at all. He just walked up to him, and Jiyong just cupped his cheek. Looking him right in the eyes, into his soul, almost. Almost.
"Thank you for being here for me all these years. I know I'm not the easiest person to handle, but thanks for putting up with me, even when I make dick moves. And thank you SO much for being here, for doing this for me- all of this. And for- just being you. Thank you for you."
Youngbae just smiled, cupping his hand over Ji's. Oh, how he wanted to tell Jiyong his feelings, but it's his special day, and he's not about to ruin it with feelings he knows can never be returned.
It hurt, but it was no one else's fault but his own. Jiyong softly kissed his cheek. He'd known Youngbae long enough to know something was up and that he was thinking too hard.
"Now, help me with these would you?" it was the faux black skull gages that Youngbae had bought for Ji a while back. But he'd never seen Ji actually wear them, until now, that is.
"I was saving them for something special." Jiyong said to no one in particular as Youngbae put the backs of the earrings on. He felt overjoyed that Jiyong would pick his earrings of all the pairs he owned. He was honored.
The wedding passed with no interruptions. And it was time for the reception, and Youngbae's song. So he played, and the most melancholy, sweet song flowed from the keys of the grand piano. Jiyong was listening to it, picked up the hint of sadness- but just figured he'd ask some other time.
The wedding was beautiful, and the Honey Moon just as so. It was like Jiyong was living in a dream, everything was perfect. He and Seunghyun owned an exensive villa, all to themselves. A master bedroom turned walk-in closet housed all of Jiyong's clothes. And just his clothes. Seunghyun's didn't take up quite as much space. Life was good for the Newlyweds~
(2 months later)
Jiyong was still running on the Honey-Moon-High. He went on YouTube to check YB's latest progress as a star. He was surprised when he saw a song entitled 'Wedding Dress.' So he clicked, and gave it a listen. Or two. Or three.
It was the song YB had played at his wedding. With words to it. And knowing YB he couldn't be talking about none other than he himself. And the video, though it used a woman, explained everything.
But maybe Jiyong was just looking too deep into things. Maybe it had nothing to with him until: there was a knock on the door. Jiyong went to answer it then realized there was no one. But there was a HUGE bouquet of flower in a vase.
So he picked it up, placed it on the table- after closing the door. And noticed there was an envelope with 'Jiyong' scribbled in familiar handwriting. So he opened it up and began reading. It read:
'Dear Jiyong,
This may seem a bit clique, but you know I was always a sucker for Romantics. Anyway, undoubtedly, you've seen the video and have heard the words to my song 'Wedding Dress', which I played on your wedding day.
I know it must be eating you up on the inside, but yes. It was about you. I love you. I know you're thinking- but I thought you were STRAIGHT!- well, truth is, I'm far from it. Or maybe I'm not. You were the only guy I ever found attractive and I love you.
I was going to tell you. All the years we'd known one another, I kept telling myself: today's the day I'm going to confess to Jiyong! But I could never get the courage.
The day you brought TOP home with you, hands down, the worse day of my life. All that time I thought you'd been dating some neighborhood kid, and that I could easily steal you away from him.
But seeing it was TOP- I knew it was over before it'd even begun.
I was too late to tell you my heart, and that's my only regret. So, here I am, writing this letter to you,
And I know that we can never be more than friends, but that doesn't matter. I'm okay with it, with just being your friend. I love you.
Love Youngbae~'
Jiyong couldn't stop crying. Why hadn't he realized it before? Seunghyun came home an hour or two later and found Jiyong on the couch, still crying his eyes out.
He rushed over.
"Jiyong! Baby, what is it?!" Jiyong just sniffles and shakes his head. "I just- did something stupid is all. And I'm just- I hurt someone I love without realizing it."
Jiyong had to talk to Youngbae, and right now. When he was getting ready to head out, Seunghyun yelled "JIYONG, COME HERE! YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS!"
He ran into the living to see the news on. 'Young Star Taeyang has been in a vehicular-accident and has died. The KPOP world is in shock! This is a day of mourning in for fans and Idols alike. He will be missed.
Jiyong didn't notice the back of the note that read, 'It's not your fault.'
mood:
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