Seventy Eighth Memory
[Private]
I'm really confused. I'm so...so happy to see Kaname-senpai. It's been so long, and I've been so homesick and have missed everyone so much. I had begun to think that he'd never arrive here...or that he was just too powerful to be pulled into a place like this. Senpai is incredible. Lately between what is happening between myself and Zero though...and those dreams, my mind is so scattered. I'm afraid because I don't want to hurt or betray either of them. I feel a little bit...like I already have. Not just to one of them either...
I can't stay this way. I know that. There are a lot of things about myself that I need to figure out...and work through. I don't really know where to start. Or if there is any solution to it all. What would Kaname-senpai think...if he knew....
I can't even think about it. Not only that...Zero...just a couple of weeks ago when I had that breakdown...he drew clear boundaries. Suddenly the other night though...he broke them all himself. Thinking about it all too much I'll just get a headache. They always say girls are complex and confusing...
The last thing I want to do...is jeopardize the relationship...or connection I feel for the two of them. The way that I think of Kaname-senpai...and the way that I think of Zero...are two vastly different types of regard. I can't describe them. I love Kaname-senpai. If he asked for it...I'd do anything for him. I owe him so much more than just my life. He was the very first thing. My beginning. He found me a home, where I'm happy...and really...the reason I have so much in my life right now is due to him. I've always loved Kaname. That will never change.
How I feel for Zero...is so different. The moment I met him...I wanted nothing more than to protect him. I wanted to help wash away his pain, knowing just how much he was suffering. He had lost his family...
In truth...I felt incredibly connected to him through that. The family that I surely had at one point in time...even though I can't know for certain, they too...were probably killed by a vampire. It felt like there was someone else who could understand...or that I could relate to. The circumstance are vastly different. I can't remember anything...and was so young at the time I was taken into Headmaster's. I wanted to help him though. Helping him...helped me. Since then I know we've grown much closer. I've come to depend on Zero so much. To the point that I can't think of life without him. I don't want to lose him. He's too important to me...and means so much. I'm comfortable with him, we've lived closely together now for five years.
GAH. My head hurts. I don't even know what to think. Zero and Kaname in the same place. It feels like a lit match in a powder keg. At any minute everything could explode. The animosity between them the other night was so thick it felt like I could swim in it if I tried. If the fountain really does tell the truth, then I think I can safely guess already what happened to the academy. The two of them got into a match. I think it could really happen, and just with their auras alone. That's kind of scary.
Neither should ever be given a set of matches.
[/Private]
The fact that half my stuffed animals have fangs, made for a really hectic and chaotic day. My stuffed bunnies were one of the last things I ever expected to have to worry about... it was a little creepy. I'm sorry that mine...terrorized the apartment and everyone...
Really...shooting Kana-usagi-sama was unnecessary though...Zero...
Everyone, I have an announcement. Just the other day, someone else...someone really significant to me and several other people back home appeared here in the city. He's a very important figure, as well as kind...and a good individual. If you could please welcome Kuran Kaname-senpai, it would be nice! He deserves the utmost respect and hospitality. I hope others will all get to know him.
[OOC: Yes...in canon...Yuuki has and keeps the strangest stuffed animals. And yes...several have fangs. She's always preferred bunnies. XD Might disappear until later since I'm at work. Tags will be picked up though.]
I'm really confused. I'm so...so happy to see Kaname-senpai. It's been so long, and I've been so homesick and have missed everyone so much. I had begun to think that he'd never arrive here...or that he was just too powerful to be pulled into a place like this. Senpai is incredible. Lately between what is happening between myself and Zero though...and those dreams, my mind is so scattered. I'm afraid because I don't want to hurt or betray either of them. I feel a little bit...like I already have. Not just to one of them either...
I can't stay this way. I know that. There are a lot of things about myself that I need to figure out...and work through. I don't really know where to start. Or if there is any solution to it all. What would Kaname-senpai think...if he knew....
I can't even think about it. Not only that...Zero...just a couple of weeks ago when I had that breakdown...he drew clear boundaries. Suddenly the other night though...he broke them all himself. Thinking about it all too much I'll just get a headache. They always say girls are complex and confusing...
The last thing I want to do...is jeopardize the relationship...or connection I feel for the two of them. The way that I think of Kaname-senpai...and the way that I think of Zero...are two vastly different types of regard. I can't describe them. I love Kaname-senpai. If he asked for it...I'd do anything for him. I owe him so much more than just my life. He was the very first thing. My beginning. He found me a home, where I'm happy...and really...the reason I have so much in my life right now is due to him. I've always loved Kaname. That will never change.
How I feel for Zero...is so different. The moment I met him...I wanted nothing more than to protect him. I wanted to help wash away his pain, knowing just how much he was suffering. He had lost his family...
In truth...I felt incredibly connected to him through that. The family that I surely had at one point in time...even though I can't know for certain, they too...were probably killed by a vampire. It felt like there was someone else who could understand...or that I could relate to. The circumstance are vastly different. I can't remember anything...and was so young at the time I was taken into Headmaster's. I wanted to help him though. Helping him...helped me. Since then I know we've grown much closer. I've come to depend on Zero so much. To the point that I can't think of life without him. I don't want to lose him. He's too important to me...and means so much. I'm comfortable with him, we've lived closely together now for five years.
GAH. My head hurts. I don't even know what to think. Zero and Kaname in the same place. It feels like a lit match in a powder keg. At any minute everything could explode. The animosity between them the other night was so thick it felt like I could swim in it if I tried. If the fountain really does tell the truth, then I think I can safely guess already what happened to the academy. The two of them got into a match. I think it could really happen, and just with their auras alone. That's kind of scary.
Neither should ever be given a set of matches.
[/Private]
The fact that half my stuffed animals have fangs, made for a really hectic and chaotic day. My stuffed bunnies were one of the last things I ever expected to have to worry about... it was a little creepy. I'm sorry that mine...terrorized the apartment and everyone...
Really...shooting Kana-usagi-sama was unnecessary though...Zero...
Everyone, I have an announcement. Just the other day, someone else...someone really significant to me and several other people back home appeared here in the city. He's a very important figure, as well as kind...and a good individual. If you could please welcome Kuran Kaname-senpai, it would be nice! He deserves the utmost respect and hospitality. I hope others will all get to know him.
[OOC: Yes...in canon...Yuuki has and keeps the strangest stuffed animals. And yes...several have fangs. She's always preferred bunnies. XD Might disappear until later since I'm at work. Tags will be picked up though.]