(no subject)
*sigh* I’ve been off of LJ for a while due to real life being busy, PMS eating my soul (I pity my poor parents now that I’m clear of most of the 5th-Year-Harry-level PMS… :P), and general online burnout (I’m STILL trying to get through the spork of the first chapter of Desperate Measures! On the other hand, I wrote some fanfic… :D). Consider this a gift to Das Mervin. I’m using the characters offended by the fic! (Warning: They come from a slight AU wherein the Marauders backed off from Snape after the Werewolf Incident, so Snape’s Worst Memory never occurred. So they’re still on decent terms. …Snape needs to reform, though.)
Hi! I’m Lily Evans. Good to meet you.
…*is Greasy* *sulks*
I decided to call them in due to… well, you’ll see. It turned up on the HMS STFU. A Snapedom fic, suffice to say. :P
ONE FOR THE MONEY!
TWO FOR THE SHOW!
THREE TO GET READY!
AND HERE! WE! GO!
Creative Meta: Severus and Lily: The Way They REALLY Would Have Been
I know I take the greatest pleasure in being told how my mind works, especially when I disagree. Doesn’t everyone?
Is this written by one of my Gryffindor friends who doesn’t understand Sev?
You may end up wishing it was.
I find that difficult to believe.
So did Das Mervin.
Top of Form
Here's a bit of Creative Meta for the Underground. ;-)
…This is how those papers on “Why Mudbloods Are Secretly Stealing Our Children’s Magic” start, isn’t it.
And how would YOU know anything about that, Sev?
Ah - spying on the enemy, of course. I - I have to keep an eye on them, you know, to make sure they don’t - get the jump on you. Like Potter’s gang used to get the jump on me.
*is suspicious*
*makes note to smack self in face repeatedly and learn to nonverbally snark*
In our recent discussions about Snape's Worst Memory
…Is that the day you nearly got killed by - whatever that was? The thing you said had to do with Potter’s group?
…*reads Carefully-Selected Bits Of Information From Canon* It didn’t happen in our timeline, and there’s a footnote that says “Keep your mouth shut, Snape. Sincerely, A Shipper.”
and the issues of prejudice in the series as a whole,
Against Muggleborns?
No, AGAINST THE POOR WIDDLE SLYTHERINS!!1111!
Potter, Black, and Lupin may not have been ejected at terminal velocity from Hogwarts after Black’s little “prank”, but aside from that, we Slyherins are perfectly capable of avenging ourselves. We are hardly *looks up term in Fandom Dictionary* woobies who need the pity of others.
Aside from when James Potter -
It was his bloody - *GRUMBLEMUMBLE*
Hmm?
Sworn… to… secrecy. Merlin-cursed… Dumbledore. *seethes* I hate werewolves and Gryffindors…
several people have commented on the friendship of Severus and Lily. As I said in my first post on the subject, why in the world did he continue to "love" a woman who had rejected him years ago?
*scratches head* Wha -
Obviously utter fanon! Complete nonsense, I assure you! Nothing you need to know about!
Sev, you’re as red as Molly Prewrett’s hair.
…And it’s none of their business what I do, regardless!
Uh, so you are -
*IRRITATED SPAZZFIT*
It's not so much that they broke up,
They were never really a couple, sorry.
but how it happened, that I object to,
Yeah, it does kind of rain on a shipper’s parade that he was such a jerk. :P Hence the AU. XD
along with the notion that Severus continued to think so highly of Lily, despite how she treated him,
Uh, she still gave him a chance after he hurled an racist slur at her. That’s kind of generous.
that he remained eternally devoted to her memory and sacrificed himself to that devotion.
…Wait, what?
*has gone incoherent and is now looking for a nice, dark corner to crawl into*
Realistically, all romantic fantasy aside,
BAAAAAAAAAAAH! This is not the Snapefen way! XD
I think Severus and Lily had a circumstantial, superficially-founded childhood friendship
*recovers through rage* Would you care to repeat that, Miss “Bohemian Spirit”? *ponders which hex would be best to use*
What? Just what? Has this person had any close friendships?
that both of them would have outgrown,
Meh. My opinion on that varies. But more like “Lily would have moved on due to Snape making minor screw-ups many different times in many different ways, and Snape would be left with the knowledge that he did something wrong, but he would be unsure what he should have done instead”. :P Meh. I really do think it was a deep friendship, but Snape isn’t *ahem* socially skilled enough (or nice enough) to manage a long-term relationship. *sigh*
even if Severus had never become a Death Eater.
EXCUSE ME?! HE DID WHAT?! …Molly, this is my Capslock! I’ll pass it on to my firstborn child!
…Me? Take the Mark? Lily, this is ridiculous! Why would I ever do such a thing?
*ahem* Your friends.
...Just believe me?
*RAISES EYEBROWS* Well, Sev, if you’re going to join the Death Eaters, I’ll pull out that technique.
What tech- no! No! Anything but that! Even Cruciatus!
*BLAZING LOOK WITH HER REMARKABLE GREEN EYES* *SWINGS LONG, SHINY RED HAIR*
Not the pseudo-Sue powers! *cringes back* Mercy! It takes me days to get all the sparkles and ribbons out of my hair! Much less the fake tan, or all my clothes and robes turning into leather, and -
…Well, you deserve it.
Based on what we see in the texts, it appears that Lily had started to pull away from Severus once they got to Hogwarts and she discovered other friends who could also do magic.
…Actually, it was around the time Sev started to hang around a nastier crowd and when he started getting really into Dark Arts. (And stuff like disagreeing over which Quidditch team to root for, who the best characters in popular stories were, a whole bunch of minor things…)
Lily and Severus really don't seem to have been all that comparable, or compatible, in terms of intellectual capacity
Far and away the best evidence this writer has little reading comprehension. Twenty points from whatever-House-is-infested-with-this-author. (…I’m practicing for when I become Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts.) *ducks out of Lily’s way*
…*EXPLODES* WHAT?! Half the notes in the “Half-Blood Prince’s” book are MINE! They’re OBVIOUSLY written in a girl’s handwriting! (And the occasional shirtless boy in the margin CERTAINLY wasn’t drawn by Sev.) How stupid IS this writer? And Slughorn doesn’t give Gryffindor House “points for Miss Evans’s sheer cheek and unconventionality” for nothing!
… “Just ram a bezoar down his throat.” was one of the, ahem, shortest essays written for the prompt “Discuss methods of treating a poisoned wizard - if applicable, include details of the method used to diagnose the poison used.”.
Well, it got me full marks, didn’t it? Only essay on that topic with full marks for our year?
*mutters something about how no other student even remembered the case where dragon’s blood might spontaneously react with Grindlylow eye, and so he should have gotten full marks for his suggestion of adding a few Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans to stabilize the mixture instead of getting a point off “because that might decrease the effectiveness of the potion under normal circumstances enough to leave the treated wizard still a tad under the weather, Severus, my boy”*
and personality, and Severus seems to have read far more into the friendship than Lily ever did.
Nonsense! It’s a deep friendship, and - what are you doing, Sev?
[Names for our firstborn son:
Septimus
Regulus
Augustus
Gnaeus
Domitius
Brutus
Tiberius
Julius
Marius
Names for our firstborn daughter:
Rose -]
*hastily covers up list* Coming up with names for… *pause, followed by a sigh* entirely fictional characters. *mopes*
I think the forces of survivor guilt and idealizing the memory of the dead had more to do with Severus' devotion in later years
*searches through DH* How nice. The idiot readers a Pensieve containing my most precious memories, and they managed to utterly ignore what was contained therein and failed basic reading comprehension. *searches through more canon* If this is the average intelligence of “intellectuals” these days, it’s no wonder my students were all such idiots.
than a True Love based upon a solid and genuine soulmate-level friendship.
(Note: In retrospect, yes, this statement is somewhat correct, in that the “soulmate-level” part was only on Snape’s side. However, try telling SNAPE that…)
Uh… possibly because “friends” usually aren’t “soulmates”?
*looking annoyed* I’m well aware they aren’t!
I wasn’t talking to you.
A good counselor would have pointed this out to him within the first few years ofs
A typo already. I’m sure this will be a wonderfully written post.
Lily's death,
*violent choking* *stares at the sentence in horror*
When does that happen? …Do I go out fighting, at the least?
but, alas, poor Severus had no good counselors available to him, only Albus Dumbledore.
What? Dumbledore is wonderful!
…House differences.
So here's how I think it would have played out, had Severus given up his Death Eater associations
At wandpoint, if necessary.
That - that’s going overboard, I assure you -
and had he ended up marrying Lily.
Where are they getting this?
I have no idea. It’s… quite odd. Yes. I have no idea where they got it from. *shifty eyes*
And now that I think about it, it kind of says a few things about his devotion to her in canon, too... ;-)
If the writer means “It was just caused by a pathetic little boy needing a friend” - and I suspect, from what she’s said, that she believes that -, I have a brief, largely nonverbal response. Namely - Levicorpus! Sectumsempra! Incendio! *briefly looks at the Sacrifices Arc by Lightning on the Wave* Cor cordium flammae! And finally, CRUC-
Sev! You attack the fic, not the author!
*pauses* …Oh. Well, I was just practicing.
Title: Childhood's End
Author:
bohemianspirit
Genre: AU, Het
Het?
As opposed to your loving relationship with Remus Lupin.
…
…
…
…Yes, because I am utterly enamored by someone who attempted to maul me and possibly devour me…
Pairing: Severus/Lily
Rating: PG
Summary: Severus had known for a long time that he and Lily were growing apart, but an early morning conversation about their marriage still leaves him in shock.
Note: Story title shamelessly lifted from Arthur C. Clarke, because it fits.
Guardian’s Song: I remember skimming to the end of the original story. I found the end (of the book and of humanity as we know it) creepy as hell. Somehow, I don’t think this story will live up to the original.
"The only thing worse than not getting what you want is getting what you want." - Oscar Wilde
Guardian’s Song: For clarification, the author had that quote in bold and italics at the beginning of the fic. It’s not me. But… Remember that, Snapefen, when you lust after His Greasiness. He’s not as nice as you think.
Childhood's End
Voldemort was gone.
The Longbottom boy had, under the tutelage of Severus Snape, gone from a fearful firstie to a quietly confident defender against the Dark Arts.
Guardian’s Song: No offense, but Snape would be more likely to BREAK him. He’s a bully, not a loving tutor. (Except in the Sacrifices Arc, but Sacrifices!Harry NEEDS to be given tough love, and even then, he was trying to use Harry at first. Neville… does not respond well to being used as an emotional punching bag.)
And lady? …Those words may be technically true about DH!Neville, but I’d say something more like “brave, but not reckless”, “possessed of surprising stores of inner strength”, or something. The thing about Neville is that he’s not instinctively bold - rather the opposite, in fact - which makes his bravery despite that all the more impressive. Don’t mess up my favorite characters, please. :P (Heck, if I hadn’t seen the power of Weasley blood when it comes to PWNING Sues in badfic, I don’t think Ron would outdo Neville on my “favorite male hero in HP” list.) I’m not sure he’s even confident by the time of DH. He’s very brave, and succeeds despite his lack of whatnot. Do you understand?
More than once he had nearly fallen before the war was done.
Poor students will likely do that to me.
I think she meant “the Longbottom boy”, not you.
*HMPH*
And Severus had nearly lost his own firstborn son
I tutored the wretch - what will they ask for next?! My most private and precious memories? Oh, they already took those. Why am I perceived as someone willing to give everything for this cause?! I have to retain SOME dignity!
Well, Sev, it DOES seem like a worthy cause…
A bit of fanon confusion between “I GAVE IT ALL FOR LILY!!!!111” and “I am actually a lovable saint that dances on rainbows, and did it out of the purity of my heart”.
in the quest for the Horcruxes, a quest that had taken a quartet of students, one from each House,
*immediately* Ronald Weasley, Slytherin, Snape’s son… Hufflepuff, Hermione Granger, Gryffindor, and Luna Lovegood, Ravenclaw.
What? They didn’t say Neville was ONE OF the quartet. 8D (Could’ve squeezed in Ginny or something without Snape’s Random Son. :P)
to successfully fulfill. {snip}
All was right with the world, or should have been. Instead, as summer dawned, the world for Severus was falling apart.
He had to admit Parry Hotter was not a twit?
Never. And I still am fond of Maco Dralfoy. …Perhaps I should just buy a ferret, though. Maco whines too much.
"You want it, too."
I thought this was PG!
Severus sighed, staring out at the damp, gray morning.
"See? You don't even deny it."
Look, wandplay isn’t one of my kinks, really…
*is turning slightly green*
"Lily..." He shook his head. "What about the children?"
That’s what we have Imperturbable Charms for, of course. A rotten excuse, no matter how desperate I am to avoid more …exotic... intercourse.
"What do you think, Sev? They have eyes. They have ears.
Most importantly, if they’re ours, they probably have above-average talent when it comes to managing things that should be impossible.
Do you really think they believe we've been living one big happily ever after?" Lily sniffed.
Who is this? Why is she using my name? I’m FAR MORE AGGRESSIVE THAN THIS! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
…Come to think of it, the named lines would be far more in-character if our names were switched. *snort*
"Al, maybe. He's always been good at not seeing what he doesn't want to see and DISREGAAAAAARD THE REST. (Apologies to Simon and Garfunkel.) Like you."
Severus turned sharply. Black eyes met green.
EYEBALL MEETING! *devours all attending*
…What has the Dark Lord managed to create now?!
"My sight is as good as it ever was," he softly intoned,
Someone took the idiotic “Never use “said”” lessons as gospel, I see. And then decided to ignore that silly “Let the verb match the words” convention.
his eyes never leaving hers as they rolled down into my stomach. "I merely harbor an absurd and quaint belief in honoring the vows I made, for better or for worse."
…*facepalm* *grits teeth* For someone who claims to be a “fan” of mine, they’ve obviously paid absolutely no attention to my personality or speech patterns whatsoever. Or, for that matter, writing dialogue in general.
I do remember one of the Snapefen commenting to another that bohemianspirit wrote a “Midwestern” Snape. :P
{snip. Lily’s been cheating on Snape.}
*is currently too speechless to use the Capslock of Rage*
And that’s why I’ve taught you how to hex nonverbally. On the count of three…
"Who?" he asked, feeling his stomach clench.
You’re going into labor?!
Don’t be absurd! Men don’t -
Ah, so back then, Snape was naïve about fanfiction! :D Aww, lookit, it’s a naïve Snape!
...*is too horrified by the implication about fanfiction to fight back*
{snip whininess. Seriously, wouldn’t canon!Snape would check for mind-control spells, then, if he found none, sit there speechless for a while, then, in a blinding rage, hex Lily into Saint Mungo’s? Methinks he would not react well to utter betrayal.}
"You really don't want to know, Sev."
That’s obvious. I’m not using Legilimency to find out who it is.
…Do any of these cretins remember that I’m a Legilimens? Or do they just think I’m a weakling who only invents cute little spells?
Latter.
I think I need to invent new ones.
"No," he agreed. "I probably don't." His mouth twisted. "Just tell me it isn't--"
Lily blanched.
No.
"Him?" It came out in a choked, harsh whisper.
Lily nodded.
"Why--if it had to be--but--why him? Of all..." He lifted the cup to his lips, managed a small swallow, set the cup down.
*has no idea who they’re talking about* …*horrified gasp* Dumbledore?! NO!
Thank you for blinding me, Miss Evans. Would you like me to return the favor?
No.
Pity. I was just thinking about Bathilda Bagshot - that aged historian who wrote Hogwarts: A History, remember? -, me, several House Elves, and -
I said NO, Sev!
"I don't know." Lily shifted, staring into her morning tea. "I just know..."
"Yes?"
She picked up her spoon and stirred it round the cup. "I could have been happy with him," she said in a small voice.
And who IS this, anyway? I have no idea.
Believe it’s James Potter.
*silence*
*jaw drops*
That toerag?! What is in that tea?! Why would I ever be - I - ugh!
*mouth works, but no words come out*
What -
Suffice to say, it makes sense in canon. …Or so we’re told, but -
*is currently cycling through several lovely shades of green and white*
This is just ludicrous.
*nods slowly* *slashes the last few lines of text out of existence* *runs off for a moment to make a Calming Draught*
*sporking pauses for a while as he does so*
*returns, having brewed it and ingested it* …I believe I forgot something to calm my stomach -
Well, you’ve held us up long enough. Let’s go. …Before I throw up.
A slow numbing started from the center, spreading slowly through his limbs.
Classic Badfic Poisoning. I obviously don’t have much longer to live.
Due to the teeny-tiny paragraphs, you have two more pages to live.
Actually, I’m certain I’ll die. Or, at least, go into a terrible coma. *carefully withdraws a vial full of the Draught of Living Death from his robes and uncorks it*
I control the keyboard, and I SAW that. So much for “Sorted too soon”.
…I am going to halve it with Lily.
That doesn’t really count as chivalry in the strictest sense. If James Potter encountered a similar badfic where Lily had been cheating on him with you, would you give him a Draught of Living Death until the badfic was over?
Hardly. I’d settle into a chair, take out the Chocolate Frogs, and watch. *smirks*
*sigh* …Exactly my point… *Keyboards his Draught of Living Death away* I’ll give it back to you when the spork’s finished. You really DO need me to use the Keyboard of Power on you, don’t you, you greasy bugger?
GIVE THAT BACK!
We can survive, Sev, no worries.
…*grumbles* Gryffindors.
Hmph! …Slytherins.