Now Sporking: The Difference, Part 5/6 (LJ EDITION)

[guardians_song]

@->->-
When we arrived at our destination, a secretary escorted us to the mayor's
office. "Ms. Mayor, Lulu is here to see you...and she has a couple of people
with her that she says need to see you, too," the secretary announced.

"For the orgy? Send them in," the mayor replied.

As we stepped into the office, we saw the mayor sitting at her desk. She was on
the phone with somebody, and her back was turned to us, but I could tell that
she was, indeed, the small, dark-haired woman that we'd seen Lulu speaking with
at the festival.

The mayor glanced over her shoulder at us for a second and turned back to the
man on the vid-screen of her phone. "Can you hold for a minute, Chief Wigguns?"
Tom: Try to at least pretend we're t' take this fic seriously, Falls.


she asked. "Something just came up."

"Of course," the man replied.

With that, the mayor put him on hold and turned to face us. "What can I do for
you, Lulu? And who are your friends?"

"Rachel, this is Jessie, James, Meowth, and their Wobbuffet," Lulu told her.

The mayor's eyes widened. "You mean the ones you told me about yesterday?
Tom: Yeah, YESTERDAY. As in 'not already besties'.
The
ones who saved the festival?"

"This is them, all right," she replied.

"But...what are they doing here?" the mayor asked. "I thought you said Officer
Jenny ran them out of town!"
Jerry: Alas, like a particularly bad head cold, they came back.

"She did...but they came back because they felt bad about what happened, and
they want to make things up to us," Lulu said.
Tom: (Lulu) With an orgy.
"I brought them here so that you
could hear their side of the story and
Jerry: - become their loyal slaves.
work something out with the chief of
police."

The mayor smiled. "Well, your timing couldn't be better -- I'm on the phone with
Chief Wigguns right now! We're about to do a conference call with Officer
Jenny."

Jessie and James tensed at the mention of Officer Jenny's name.
Jerry: Considering that there's one in every town, you are going to get some WEIRD PTSD.

(James) Oh, woe! Not ANOTHER one!

The only worse one would be also getting a phobia of Nurse Joys. ...Incidentally, has there every been a theory that they're all a bunch of Dittos that have Become The Mask?
Tom: Nah, but that gives a whole new meaning t' badfic Pod People.

The mayor got to her feet and approached us. "Don't worry, guys -- Town Hall is
on your side, and I'm going to get this whole thing sorted out. Mayor Rachel M.
Houlihan is at your service."

"Thank you, Mayor Houlihan," Jessie replied, shaking her hand.

James shook her hand, too. "Yes, we really appreciate this."

"Houlihan?" Meowth said as he extended his paw. "Can I just call ya Hot Lips?"
Guardian's Song: *long face* That's the screenname of one of Cori Falls's Rocketshipper friends.

Let me guess. Rachel M. Houlihan was her real name?

Hey! Easy there, Hawkeye! I said, giving the cat a playful whack on the head.

"Uh...you'll have to excuse Meowth," James said sheepishly.

"Yeah. He's been watching too many reruns of M*A*S*H," Jessie added.

The mayor grinned and scratched behind Meowth's ears. "Aren't you cute?!" she
laughed. Then, she looked at me. "And you must be the Wobbuffet I've heard so
much about!"

I nodded.

"Well, hello there, Wobby! You're a cutie, too!"

Lulu is right -- this lady seems really nice! I thought as she patted me on the
head and played with the yellow ribbon I was still wearing.

Once the mayor was done admiring me, she turned her attention back to Jessie and
James and asked them about what happened at the festival. Jessie and James then
explained how the three punks with the fighting-type pokemon had come to beat up
all of the Wobbuffets and vandalize the village and how nobody would fight them
off because of the festival rule.
Guardian's Song: And the MAYOR knew nothing of this?!
They then told her about how we'd decided to
break the rule so that the punks wouldn't hurt anybody or ruin the festival and
that Officer Jenny gave us a hard time because we'd chosen to fight. And after a
moment of hesitation, Jessie even admitted to stealing the festival food, but
James quickly explained why she did it.

Mayor Houlihan's expression grew increasingly grim as she listened to the tale.
"That sounds exactly like what Lulu told me...except now I know why you took the
food," she remarked.
Jerry: So the fic is even redundant IN-FIC?
"So, Officer Jenny really did want to punish you, even
though you only broke our rule to help us?"

"Pretty much," Jessie and James said in unison.
Jerry: No need to answer my question, Cori!Jessie-and-James.

She rolled her eyes. "Good lord! What was that woman thinking?!"

"Um...not to be rude, ma'am," James interjected, "but...weren't you at the
festival when all of this happened?"

The mayor frowned again. "As a matter of fact, I wasn't," she grumbled. "I had
to attend a commissioners' meeting over to the county seat, and I didn't get
back until yesterday evening. I wasn't there to see you or those punks for
myself, and I didn't hear about it until Lulu filled me in."
Jerry: (Mayor) Meanwhile, I didn't investigate on my own at all because Lulu is my gay lover, and I trust whatever she says unconditionally.
Tom: An' th' jokes continue t' be more interestin' than th' fic.

James nodded. "I see."

"I swear, those county commissioners pick the most inconvenient times to hold
their damn meetings!" she continued. "Last month they held their meeting on the
day of the Hoppip Festival in Windydale...and the month before that, on the day
of the Sunflora Festival in Merryvale. I don't think there's a mayor in this
whole county that's actually been able to attend their own town's festival
because of the way the commissioners plan things! Morons...."
Jerry: Maybe those towns, in canon, don't actually have Supermayors ready to right all Team Rocket's wrongs on a whim?
Tom: Aw, 'a course they do. 'M sure anythin' else is just 'cause'a Ash's great-uncle or somethin'.
Jerry: Don't give her ideas.
She paused for a
moment and looked back at us. "But I'm getting off the subject, aren't I? Let me
get back to Chief Wigguns. Hold on for a minute."

"So, what do you think is going to happen now?" Jessie whispered as the mayor
picked up the phone again.
Tom: Orgy.
Jerry: At the rate the sycophancy is going, the Pokemon would join in.
{There will now be a brief delay...}
Jerry: - and lay off!
Tom: *wielding the confused duck from earlier* Never! Do! That! Again!
Jerry: *boots him in the stomach* Learn to take a joke!
Tom: If this was a Kink Meme, there'd be a request at this point fer Jessie's Pokemon ~expressing their appreciation'a their Trainer~ while James is away in a snit one day!
Jerry: I don't care if there would be! There isn't, and you need to just take the joke!
Tom: And what?! Turn it into a duck?! *gestures to his quacking former switchblade*
Jerry: If that's what it takes...

"I don't know," James replied. "I guess we just have to wait and see."

"Hey. I'm back," the mayor said.

Chief Wigguns nodded. "I took the liberty of calling Jenny while I was on hold
-- she's on the other line right now. Shall I conference her in?"

"Yes, please," she replied.

After a moment, the image on the vid-screen spilt in two, and Officer Jenny
appeared on one side. "Mayor Houlihan. What can I do for you?" she asked.

"Officer...it's been brought to my attention that something out of the ordinary
happened at the Wobbuffet Festival while I was away," she began. "Care to tell
me about it?"
Tom: *sarcastically* Wobbuffet orgy.
Jerry: What, do they just use Mirror Coat on each other all day long?

Officer Jenny saluted. "Yes, ma'am!" she said. "Those three vandals who tried to
cause trouble awhile back returned and attacked some of the villagers'
Wobbuffets. Then, a couple of crooks who said they were with Team Rocket
Tom: An' would it have KILLED y' t' WEAR CIVILIAN CLOTHES when y' weren't in th' middle'a a mission?
Jerry: But then, these poor souls couldn't be ~persecuted~ enough!
showed
up and dishonored our festival by battling them in the town square! And as if
that weren't bad enough, they resisted arrest and stole all of the festival food
when they tried to escape!"

No, this isn't a lop-sided retelling, I thought.

"Fortunately, they weren't very bright --
Tom and Jerry: You think the readers are going to argue with that, Miss Falls?
once they were outside of town, a nice
little boy named Ash Ketchum fought them off with his Pikachu and helped me get
the food back!" Officer Jenny continued.

Behind me, I could hear Jessie muttering a string of curses under her breath. I
looked and saw James place his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to calm her.
Jerry: You know, if he's her therapist to this extent, MAYBE THEY SHOULDN'T BE DATING. It would be one thing if they could handle the situation maturely, but since BOTH of them collapse into dysfunctional heaps whenever they get into a fight and lose their support structure? No. Unless getting suicidal over haircuts is supposed to be ~healthy~ now.
Tom: Never gonna get over that, are you?
Jerry: Would YOU if Butch and Cassidy were shown contemplating suicide over chipped nails?
Tom: ...-_________- Y' don't hafta put those images into my head, y' know.

"Yeah. Fought off. More like viciously attacked," Meowth grumbled.

Lulu said nothing, just snorted at the mention of Ash's name.
Guardian's Song: Shut up, you immature harridan.

"You know, it's funny how your account of what happened is so different from
everything else I've heard," the mayor remarked.

"Mayor Houlihan, with all due respect, you weren't there," said Officer Jenny.

"Yes, but I did hear an eyewitness account from Lulu," she explained.
Jerry: And the eyewitness account of the POLICE OFFICER is dog food?

And, by the way, all evidence so far is that "everything else I've heard" consists of "what Lulu told me".

Maybe Lulu and she ARE dating on the side...
"We know
she'd never lie to protect criminals -- she's the one who ran the vandals out of
town the first time! And she got to know these other so-called crooks before the
fight broke out. She says that they're good people who didn't mean any harm."
Guardian's Song: Right, because psychopaths are CERTAINLY not known for their charm and their stunning abilities to construct almost-plausible tales to deceive the optimistic and charitable! :D

"Are you saying that you believe one citizen's eyewitness account and not the
official police report?!" Officer Jenny gasped.
Jerry: Stop sporking your own fic, Cori!
Tom: Yeah! Just spork th' furry parts! Th' rest is OUR turf!

"No, that's not what I'm saying," the mayor replied. "Because I also have an
account from the perpetrators themselves,
Tom: *ROARING WITH LAUGHTER*
Jerry: Oh, YES! Let's ask the CROOKS what THEY think happened! What a BRILLIANT breakthrough in criminal justice! Of course we should trust the words of known crooks and their patsies over the words of TRAINED POLICE OFFICERS!
Tom: 'Oh, Officer! I only stole all those expensive dresses for resale on the black market... because I've always felt like a woman on the inside.'
Jerry: 'My Furby says it's true!'
Tom: 'All right, then, I'll totally let you go!'
Jerry: 'And I only kidnapped all those Chanseys... because I'm depressed and I never got enough hugs as a child.'
Tom: 'If you don't believe me, ask my accomplice!'
Jerry: 'We'll release you on the spot, and it's a crying shame the taxpayers aren't paying for your Prozac!'
Tom: 'I only beat up that ten-year-old... because he reminded me of my mother.'
Jerry: 'My therapist agrees!'
Tom: 'Little shit had it coming anyway! Have a nice day!'
Jerry: *pause* Okay, now we're getting uncomfortably close to actual fic!logic.
Tom: Th' sad thing is that y' can't make this up. 'Cept it's even less reasonable than 'He reminded me'a Mummy'.
Jerry: 'He didn't value the life of the hardened criminal over an innocent Celebi!'
Tom: 'THAT CHARD MONSTER!!11!!'
Jerry: ...And, come to think of it, How James Got His Mojo Back was essentially the first scenario with "woman" replaced by "Moltres".
Tom: *shudders* Yeah, let's drop this like a hot potato...
and their story sounds exactly like
what Lulu told me.
Jerry: Has she never heard of synchronizing alibis?!
Tom: (Mayor) Cartels don't exist! People would have to agree to secretly do something together for more than five seconds!
I'm just taking the side that's supported by more
evidence...
Jerry: Namely, HE-SAID SHE-SAID?!
and more credible evidence, at that!"
Jerry: (Mayor) I always believe criminals! Those poor Enron executives - they told me their dogs ate their accounting books!

"You mean they came back?!" she cried.
Mayor Houlihan moved aside and revealed us standing behind her. "Yes, they did."

Officer Jenny frowned. "Ms. Mayor, these people are dangerous criminals -- I'm
placing them under arrest for hooliganism, resisting arrest, and larceny! If
you'll detain them for me, I'll come and get them as soon as possible!"
Jessie, James, and Meowth tensed, and I felt a drop of sweat forming on my face.
This wasn't what we'd had in mind when we said we wanted to work things out!
Guardian's Song: Dear fic - stop sporking yourself!

(Also, if she had looked up their criminal records, she could add MANY more charges of larceny. And fraud. And assault and battery with Pokemon. And...)

"You'll do no such thing!" the mayor interjected. "From what I heard, their
hooliganism is precisely what saved our festival! Am I correct?"

"Well...yes."

"And from what they tell me, they only took our food because they were
starving," she continued.

"Theft is still a crime, regardless of why it was committed!" Officer Jenny
argued.

"Yes, but shouldn't the fact that they didn't harm anybody and only stole as a
matter of survival count for something?"
Jerry: You stole ALL THE FOOD as a matter of SURVIVAL? What are you - camels?
the mayor asked. "And shouldn't they
have been entitled to some kind of reward for helping our village?"

"No! Because they committed a crime, and then they committed another!" she
retorted.

"The only crime around here is the way these folks were treated!" Lulu broke in.
"They helped us, and we only repaid them with punishment!"
Guardian's Song: I'll agree the episode layout was apparently stupid, but COME OFF IT. That MITIGATES their crimes, but it doesn't COMPLETELY excuse them!

"Chief Wigguns, surely you understand what a serious offense breaking the
Wobbuffet Festival rule is!" Officer Jenny said. "It's a total insult to our
most time-honored tradition!"
Jerry: (Strawwoman!Jenny) And the sacrament of marriage!

"I'm aware of that, officer," Chief Wigguns replied. "But which is more
important? Upholding tradition, or ensuring the safety of the general public?"
Tom: (Strawwoman!Jenny) TRADITION ALWAYS GOES FIRST DURRR :B
Jerry: So Jenny is a conservative strawcreature, obsessed with tradition and the law over safety, and Lulu is a liberal strawcreature, obsessed with ~kindness~ and ~empathy~ over safety.

Dear Miss Falls - making the other side into a strawman doesn't make your own strawman positions any less ridiculous.

Silence.

"Would you stand idly by, allowing people and pokemon to be hurt and acts of
vandalism to take place, just for the sake of tradition?" he asked.
Guardian's Song: Cut the rhetoric, that's obviously what happened in the episode.

"Well...um...." she stammered.

"Because from everything I've heard from Mayor Houlihan and everything you
yourself told me, that's precisely what you did yesterday," he continued. "You
endangered the citizens and pokemon of our village with your insistence on
upholding tradition. You did nothing to stop the people who would have destroyed
our village, and yet you wish to punish those who helped to save our village.
Law or no law, that's a serious violation of protocol."

Officer Jenny scowled.

"Because they saved our Wobbuffets, our festival, and our village with their
criminal acts, I'm granting Jessie, James, and Meowth an official pardon for
breaking our festival rule...and that pardon extends to the attempted theft of
our food as well," said the mayor.
Jerry: Why didn't you just say that at the start?!
Tom: (Cori Falls) Massive word-padding is MANDATORY in badfic! It makes you REALISTIC!
Jerry: If all dialogue is spoken by idiots.
Tom: (Cori Falls) Well, yes. Watch me take several fics to repeat "ASH SUCKS! TR RULES! ASH SUCKS! TR RULES!" fifteen hundred times! :D
Jerry: *facepalm*
"Stealing food because of hunger isn't a
crime...not as serious a crime as assault, battery, and vandalism, anyway."
Tom: (Mayor) In fact, stealing in general isn't a crime, because it's not as serious as genocide. :B Have fun! Hail Eris!

"And as of now, you're hereby relieved of duty," Chief Wigguns told Officer
Jenny.
Jerry:
Tom: But she did it against Team Rocket, Jerry! That's like flippin' off Baby Jesus!
Jerry: ...Who's Baby Jesus?
*pause*
Tom: Y' know, yer right. I ain't got any idea either. *shrug* Movin' on...
"There's a difference between the letter of the law and the spirit of the
law...a difference which I think you need to learn. Your job as a police officer
was to serve and protect the citizens, not the law.
Jerry: No, it's to ENFORCE THE LAW.
And also to protect the citizens from PEOPLE WHO WOULD STEAL ALL THEIR FOOD!
Perhaps you need to learn
that as well. Dismissed." With that, he disconnected the line that Officer Jenny
was on, and her image vanished from the vid-screen. Then, he looked past the
mayor and addressed us. "I apologize for the way Jenny handled yesterday's
situation."

"Quite alright," James replied.

Chief Wigguns nodded and turned his attention back to the mayor. "And I'll
dispatch a new officer to your district as soon as possible.
Tom: (Wiggums Senior) Her name is Lisa Simpson!
One who can serve
and protect with a greater degree of competence."
Tom: (Lisa Simpson) AS THE LIZARD QUEEEEEEN

Mayor Houlihan nodded. "You've been a great help, Chief Wigguns. Thank you," she
replied.

"No. Thank you for bringing Jenny's actions to my attention," he said. "I don't
need officers like that on my force."
Jerry: (Chief) That's right! I need one of her many identical cousins to fill the role, because -
Wait, how do I even know that's not her showing up to work as her "replacement"? D:

The mayor and the chief of police nodded at each other and smiled as they
disconnected and ended the call.

{they call a town meeting to get the word out}

@->->-

Fortunately for us, the village was small, and it was easy for Lulu and Mayor
Houlihan to get a town meeting organized. Within a couple of hours, everybody
was assembled in the town square, eager to hear the announcement their mayor had
to make.
Tom: (Mayor) I'm becoming a man! A man... with blond hair and a tan!

As we watched the milling crowd from Town Hall, however, I could sense that
Jessie was losing her nerve again.

"A public apology in front of all these people...." she sighed. "God, this is
going to be so embarrassing!"

James draped his arm around Jessie's shoulders and rested his head against her
own. "Don't worry about it, sweetheart," he whispered. "It's not like you're
going to be alone -- Meowth, Wobbuffet, and I will be up there with you."
Jerry: Why doesn't JESSIE ever comfort JAMES like this in these fics?!
Tom: Because James is a manly man and Jessie is his poor weeping maiden.

"I guess," she said as she returned his embrace.

"Look at the bright side," he continued. "Lulu forgave us, and the mayor is our
friend now!"

"We was officially pardoned!" Meowth added.

And Officer Jenny got fired! I chimed in.

"Yeah! You guys are right!" Jessie said as she listened to us. "A lot of good
things came out of this, after all!"
Jerry: Yes, the poor transients who understand how it feels to starve without a consistent paycheck are rejoicing over getting a Jenny FIRED from the police force, when they have absolutely no idea how much she has in her savings account, whether she can get another job, or whether she's even QUALIFIED for another job (since all Jennies are in the police force).

Right. Does Cori Falls actually think through what happens to anyone except for her precious woobies?
Tom: Brain-damaged!Ash would indicate "YEP".
Jerry: *SHUDDERS* HOLY ****, SHE DOES!

"And this won't be so bad either," James promised as he touched his lips to
hers.

Meowth and I exchanged looks and smiled. And as I watched James kissing Jessie,
I knew that he was right -- only good things could come from what we were going
to do.
Jerry: ...
...
...You know, she just showed her hand MUCH more than she intended to.
Tom: (Cori Falls) And do what ye will is the whole of the law - for Team Rocket! Meanwhile, only BAD things ever come from what ASH does. D:<

After a couple of minutes, Lulu returned. "It's time. Are you guys ready?" she
asked.

Jessie and James looked at each other for a moment. Then, they turned to face
her again and smiled.

"As ready as we'll ever be," James replied.

"Then let's go!"

Taking a deep breath, Jessie, James, Meowth, and I joined hands (and paws) and
followed her to the town square.
Guardian's Song: *warbling* We're off to see the Wobbuffet, the wonderful Wobbuffet of TR...
(Wobbuffet) WAAAAA-BUFFET! (XD ){
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*******w*wb

@->->-

"Ladies and gentlemen," Mayor Houlihan began. "It's been brought to my attention
by one of our most upstanding citizens that some very extraordinary things
happened at yesterday's Wobbuffet Festival."

Several villagers began to applaud.

"Our festival was almost ruined by the cruel and selfish acts of three young
vandals...and then saved when the festival rule was broken by three well-meaning
visitors," she continued. "Even though these visitors did some harmful things
yesterday, it wasn't without reason. And today, they've returned to tell us what
those reasons are. All I ask, ladies and gentlemen, is that you hear them out.
They want to make amends for what they've done. The least we can do is give them
the chance."
Jerry: (Mayor) And then lick their boots.
(Villagers) BOOOOO!
(Mayor) Oh, shut up! I bet you're all relatives of Ash Ketchum, anyway!

Jessie began to tremble as the mayor stepped aside and gave us the floor.
James gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze. "You can do it, Jess," he
whispered.
Jerry: (Jessie) That's right! It's... *strikes a pose* SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER! WOOOOOO!
*disco ball lowers from the ceiling as she begins to dance to "Stayin' Alive"*

When the mayor handed her the microphone, Jessie cleared her throat and stepped
forward. "Uh...hi," she said nervously.

Her greeting was met with stony silence...and several of the villagers even
scowled.
Jerry: Gee. I WONDER WHY.

Jessie sweatdropped. "Um...I guess you all remember who we are...not too fondly,
I'd imagine." She shrugged. "Well, I can't blame you for that -- I did some
really terrible things to you and your village yesterday. My friend and I broke
one of your most important traditions and insulted the spirit of your most
beloved pokemon...but we didn't mean any harm. We only did it because we saw
that your village was in danger and wanted to do something to help...."

James then stepped forward and took the microphone from Jessie. "We can't plead
ignorance -- we knew about your tradition...and we chose to break it anyway," he
said. "But we did it because we saw a situation where somebody had to stand up
and fight. We didn't like seeing innocent people and Wobbuffets being hurt and a
wonderful festival being ruined.
Tom: (James) And we weren't even behind it! D:
We have nothing but respect for what your
festival is about, and as Wobbuffet trainers ourselves, we understand the love
you have for these pokemon --
Jerry: You do?
(Wobbuffet) WAAAAAAA-BUFFET!
(James) - and that overpowering urge to strangle them that strikes at random hours of the day.
we just wanted to do whatever we could to protect
that. We're truly sorry if our actions did more harm than good -- that was never
our intent."

With confidence renewed, Jessie took the microphone back from James and
addressed the crowd once more. "That's why we broke your rule...but that still
doesn't explain why we took your food...."

The villagers scowled again and began to mutter amongst themselves when she said
this.

"Well, believe it or not, we didn't mean any harm when we did that, either," she
Jerry: (Ash) I don't mean you any harm, either! I just want you to STOP STEALING MY POKEMON!!!
continued. "We...we hadn't eaten in days when we found the food in your
store-house, and...well...the morality of the situation wasn't exactly the first
thing on my mind.
Jerry: So why didn't you stuff your faces, stuff your balloon with all the supplies THAT YOU COULD EAT BEFORE THEY WENT BAD, and stuff yourself into the balloon and RUN?!
Tom: Bah, Earth Logic!
All I saw was an opportunity to keep myself and my friends
alive, and I wanted to take it.
Jerry: Um, you went above and beyond survival.
Guardian's Song: Shh. Earth Logic.
I know that's not an excuse for what I did. I
didn't come here to make excuses or ask for forgiveness.
Guardian's Song: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You're making THANFICTION look consistent! And what count did I get for him, again?!
     “ALAS! PITY ME!”: 28
...*HEADLAPTOP*
I just came here to
tell you the truth...because I feel I owe it to you."

Jessie paused for a moment and placed a hand on my back, gently nudging me
forward. "This Wobbuffet is a hero," she told them. "He didn't break the rule
when he defeated the trainers who were attacking your village. He just wanted to
defend his fellow Wobbuffets...and he did it in the spirit of what the festival
was all about -- without fighting. I was the one who chose to fight. Please
don't think badly of my Wobbuffet, just because of what I did -- he's a good
pokemon. It's not his fault he has a bad trainer. And...please don't think badly
of my friends, James and Meowth, either. They were every bit as hungry as I was,
but they didn't want to take your food...and they even tried to stop me...."
Guardian's Song: Uh, yeah. So can they get right to BLAMING JESSIE rather than giving her a free lunch for doing bad things but ~being vewy vwey sowwy about it aftewawds~?

I'm not askin' for revenge, I'm askin' for ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE DID WRONG!

I felt a lump forming in my throat as I listened to her. It was touching to hear
Jessie calling me a hero...but at the same time, it hurt to hear her calling
herself a bad trainer. That's not true, and you know it, Jessie! I thought. The
only reason I'm a hero is because I followed your commands -- you and James were
every bit a part of that as I was! And I don't care what anybody else thinks --
you guys ARE heroic!
Jerry: Good grief, you authorial mouthpiece! Just call yourself Coribuffet Falls already!

"....Anyway, that's what I came here to say," Jessie muttered. "I know you're
all probably still mad at me, and I don't expect to be forgiven. I just wanted
you to know that none of this was my friends' fault...and that we're all sorry
for what I did. I...I guess we'll be leaving now -- we've already wasted enough
of your time. Thank you for listening, though."
Guardian's Song: *through teeth* It demeans legitimate sincere apologies when Miss Falls sets the whole thing up to be an automatic asspat. Because people who sincerely apologize for real? Know their apologies may not be accepted. Know they may be setting themselves up for scorn and humiliation. Know they won't have all forgiven.

And they do it anyway, because they're sincerely sorry and they want others to know that, and they feel that they owe those whom they wronged an apology.

Here? Let's face it, it's so that Cori Falls can lob just another group-lovefest at her favorite characters. Cori doesn't feel it was REALLY Wrong - she makes that obvious with all the characters who excuse Team Rocket completely ~because they were hunnngry~. She just wants Team Rocket to get forgiven. And, of course, for Ash to be bashed because he didn't MAGICALLY know that the perpetual crooks, con-artists, and fraudsters for ONCE weren't out for Number One.

I feel strongly about her making a mockery of repentance! I DO!

As Jessie handed the microphone back to the mayor and turned away from the
crowd, her eyes filled with tears.

James smiled and put an arm around her. "Well done, Jessie," he whispered. "That
was beautiful."

"Our work is done," she said softly. "Come on, guys. Let's get out of here."
Guardian's Song: Would that the scene just cut off here!
It's actually decently-written and heartfelt and emotional, but NO, we just HAVE to -

As James, Meowth, and I began to follow her, however, we suddenly heard the
sound of somebody clapping. When we turned to face the crowd again, we saw that
Lulu had gotten to her feet and was now applauding us.

I smiled again. Good ol' Lulu!

Meowth smiled, too. "Yeah. Good ol' Lulu," he echoed.
Jerry: (Villagers) Oh gad, not ANOTHER freak-out by the village stalker!
(Lulu) I'm selling body pillows of them starting tomorrow! :D

And as Lulu continued to clap, the mayor began to clap, too. After a couple of
minutes, some of the villagers started clapping as well. Before long, everybody
in town was giving us a standing ovation!

"I...I don't understand," Jessie stammered. "I thought they were mad at us!"

"Obviously not," James replied.

"Hey! What gives?" Meowth asked.
Tom: It's a CORIFIC! Are y' honestly SURPRISED at this point?
Jerry: -_- No, but she apparently thinks the readers are goldfish, and SHOULD be surprised.
Tom: That's insultin' goldfish!

Once the applause died down, Mayor Houlihan took the microphone and addressed
the crowd again. "Well, our visitors didn't come back to us expecting
forgiveness, but it looks like they've received it anyway," she began.

Everybody started clapping again.

"Jessie, James, and Meowth may have broken our festival rule, but they had a
good reason for doing it," she said.

"Right on!" somebody in the audience shouted. "Perfect plot summary, man!"

"....And I think they've taught us a valuable lesson, too," the mayor continued.
"For as long as we've had our Wobbuffet Festival, we've had the tradition of not
battling during the festival. But yesterday's events showed us that sticking to
tradition no matter what isn't always the best thing to do.
Jerry: (Villagers) Thank you, Captain Obvious!
We must never forget
who we are or abandon our customs...but sometimes traditions have to change when
they become outmoded, and rules have to be broken when it does more harm than
good to follow them.
Tom: (Villagers) Oh, what a shock! That's why we still squat in the bushes rather than using flush toilets! And have a medicine man bless our children when they get sick rather than giving them antibiotics! And light our homes at night with candles rather than lightbulbs! And...
Jessie, James, Meowth...and their Wobbuffet taught us that
when they broke our festival rule to save us. Breaking rules isn't a crime when
it serves the greater good --
Gellert Grindelwald: Ja, ja, I agree whole-heartedly! >:D
that's what they did yesterday...and yet, we
punished them for it. We punished them because we didn't understand...but I
think we understand now, and I think we owe these four a debt of gratitude."

The villagers' applause began anew.
Jerry: I need Dramamine.
Tom: "Oh, Hermione!" Draco sobbed, his grey eyes sparkling in the twilight. "We can never be together, for my father would never permit me to be with a Muggleborn..."

"Oh, Draco!" the bushy-haired girl swooned, her wide, intelligent eyes gleaming with tears of her own. "We shall elope - elope, like Romeo and Juliet, I say! - and live in peace by the shore, troubled by the cruelties of House prejudice nevermore..."
Jerry: DRAMAMINE, I said, not DRAMIONE!

"Mayor Houlihan has granted them an official pardon for the crimes they
committed yesterday," Lulu announced. "But it doesn't seem like enough to me. I
think it was wrong that they didn't even get the chance to enjoy the festival
that they helped save. I think we should hold another festival...to make up for
the one that got interrupted yesterday and to give our new friends the credit
they deserve!"
Jerry: WHAT?!
Tom: They're holdin' an entire FESTIVAL in their honor?!
Jerry: I - what - I - Does she even know how much WORK it is to prepare for these things?! And how much load it would put on the businesspeople who don't have the STOCK for festival sales?! And -
Tom: HOW MUKIN' SYCOPHANTIC CAN YOU GET?!
Jerry: This is like a Communist regime! 'ALL HAIL COMRADES JESSIE, JAMES, MEOWTH, AND WOBBUFFET, COINCIDENTALLY PARTY-CHAIRPEOPLE-FOR-LIFE!'
Tom: Mukin' heck, this is INSANE! I thought she only went REALLY Golbatexcrement-insane after Break from Canon!
Guardian's Song: Evidently not...

Lulu's remark was met with cheers.

"I think that's a great idea, Lulu...especially since I missed out on the
festivities yesterday, too," said the mayor. "Let's have a vote! Those in favor
of holding a second festival?"

All of the villagers raised their hands.

"Those opposed?"

Silence.

"Then it's unanimous -- we're having another party!"

Everybody began to cheer again.

Jessie's blue eyes sparkled as she listened to the crowd. "Wow! Who would've
imagined?!" she whispered. "I had no idea that when I came back...."

"....Things would go so well?" James ventured. His emerald eyes were sparkling,
too.
Guardian's Song: To heck with Jerry, I need Dramamine! D8

She nodded.

"Heh. We're finally gettin' credit for doin' somethin' right!" Meowth remarked.

"I kinda like it!"

"I like it, too," James sighed as he wrapped his arms around Jessie's waist and
rested his chin on her shoulder. "And we owe it all to Jessie and Wobbuffet!"

"M-me?!" Jessie said. "What did I do?"
Guardian's Song: She's a violent late-teenager, not a wide-eyed seven-year-old. Lay off the Innocent Battered Woobie antics!

"Well, it was your idea to come back here and fix things!" he told her.

"Yeah...only because I'm the one who messed things up in the first place!" she
argued.

"True," James admitted. "But in a way...your messing things up was actually for
the best! Jess, you heard them say that they learned something from our battle
-- they've changed, they've grown...all because one heroic Wobbuffet stood up
and did the right thing, for no other reason than because it was the right thing
to do. But he wouldn't have been able to do it without his wonderful trainer!"
Jerry: ...You're right, this is insulting goldfish.
Tom: Told y' so.
Jerry: WHY does she have to repeat this several times over?!
Tom: Mebbe she's hopin' th' readers're gonna believe it on th' fourteenth try...

Jessie's eyes sparkled again. "And I couldn't have done it without you and
Meowth," she replied. "I couldn't ask for better friends than you!"

Meowth smiled. "Thanks, Jess!"
Jerry: Good grief, can we STOP the constant echo chamber of Team Rocket praise?!

"Yeah. Thanks, Jess," James echoed.
Jerry: I didn't mean that literally! D:

Slowly, Jessie turned to face James and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
Then, she leaned closer and pressed her lips to his. "I love you," she muttered
between kisses.

"I love you, too," he muttered back.

My heart fluttered as I watched Jessie and James kissing again. No matter how
tough and "villainous" they try to act, there's no denying how sweet and
affectionate they really are.
Jerry: *facepalm*
Their goodness always shines through in the end.
Jerry: *double facepalm*

"James is right, ya know," Meowth remarked.
Jerry: *HEADDESK*
"Dis all happened cuz of you,
Wobbuffet -- us bein' welcomed here, us gettin' ta help dese people, everythin'
dat's happenin' now -- it never woulda been possible if you wasn't with us."

I smiled at him. Thanks, Meowth.

"Well, it's true!" he said. "I said it last night, and I'm gonna say it again --
Tom: Mebbe they've all got OCD an' they hafta say how wonderful they are constantly. Serious condition, you know.
Jerry: *muffled by hands and desk* EVERYONE in this fic has OCD. Ash just has it with insults and screaming rather than praise and bootlicking.
we're glad ta have ya as part of our family. You rock, Wobbu!"

Well, I'm glad to be here, I replied. I can honestly say that being with you has
given me true happiness.
Guardian's Song: D: Miss Falls, can you please have someone OTHER than Meowth be the recipent of those lines? Otherwise, it really DOES look like you're trying to ship Wobbuffet/Meowth...

And I meant it, too. Becoming part of Team Rocket is the best thing that ever
happened to me...and things could only get better from here!
Tom: (Wobbuffet) Wob-buffet, wob wob wob! Wub wub wub! *drops that bass* [Translation: I'll spend the rest of my life on this show being beaten up by new and interesting people! Wow, what a jet-set life I have now!] :D