(no subject)
harry lay on his bed moodily. he had not come out for the past hour and a half, ignoring the repeated requests of both ron and hermione to come out. harry had sat doing nothing but thinking. he had thought about sirius for quite a while. he found that, much as he missed sirius, he was okay with his death now. over the past year, he had learned to accept death, and the fact that death would follow him. it was his destiny to lose loved ones. he could only hope that he wouldn't lose anyone else in his life. he couldn't bear to think of any of the weasley's being killed, or hermione. even the various members of the order were close to him now.
and then there was dumbledore. harry realized now that he hadn't allowed himself to think about dumbledore all summer, not since then funeral. he had always kept himself busy, always distracted himself. he had never dwelled on the loss of dumbledore. not until now, at least. harry lay in bed, thinking about all that dumbledore had meant. dumbledore was like the father harry never had, since the very beginning of hogwarts. just like sirius. harry thought about the two father-figures in his life, dumbledore and sirius. they were both gone. now he had to take care of himself. sure, mrs. weasley would gladly care for him when he was at the burrow. but, harry realized, mrs. weasley could not always be by harry's side. but then, dumbledore and sirius weren't at harry's side all the time, either. they had always been guiding him in his heart, and, harry realized, they could still do so. harry stared at the ceiling, letting this comforting thought wash over him.
there was a gentle tapping at the door, and hermione's timid voice floated through the cracks towards harry.
"harry? please come out harry. it's been almost two hours now. we want to help you, harry. that's why we're here. to help you. you just have to let us." harry thought about this. hermione was right. the only reason they were here, in this house, was to help him. harry felt a sudden rush of gratitude for ron and hermione. the two of them, unlike dumbledore and sirius, really HAD been by his side throughout everything. sure, there were times when he was alone. and sure, there would definately be more of these times. but for most of his life since he had first come to hogwarts, ron and hermione had stuck by him and supported him, even when no one else had.
harry got up and opened his door to see hermione standing there, with a surprised expression on her face.
"oh, harry!" she said with relief, throwing her arms around him. harry looked over hermione's shoulder and saw ron standing there, a slight grin on his face.
"good to see you, harry," he said wryly. "i was getting kinda worried."
harry grinned at the two of them. "thanks, you guys," he said suddenly.
"your welcome mate," said ron, now grinning. "wait," he paused, looking confused. "for what?"
"i dunno," said harry. "i just realized that i've never really said thanks to you guys before. for, you know. being there, being you guys."
"oh harry," said hermione, looking teary-eyed.
ron however, merely said, "harry. do you realize how mushy you should right now?" but harry noticed that he, too, looked as though what harry had said meant a lot to him.
the three teens stood quietly for a moment. then harry said softly, "hey guys. can i ask you to do something for me?"
"sure harry, anything," said hermione quickly.
"erm, well, i was thinking that, well, i might like to go into sirius' room for a bit." harry paused, not wanting to look at the two of them, for he knew ron would have a slightly alarmed look on his face, and hermione would have a concerned expression pasted over her features. "but, the thing is," he continued. "i- well, i don't think i can trust myself to go in alone quite yet. so would you two mind coming with me? please?" he looked up then, and hermione reached out and grabbed his hand.
"of course we'll come harry," she said simply. harry smiled wanely, and the three of them headed up to sirius' room. slowly, harry pushed open the door and entered.
"so, finally worked up the courage to come in here?" said a voice.
"ron! you're unbelievable! this is obviously really hard on harry! you are so insensitive!" came another voice.
harry looked around in confusion, and then stopped and stared. his eyes had fallen on a portrait of three people, one with dark, unruly hair, green eyes, and glasses, another with bright red hair and freckles, and a third with bushy brown hair. he heard hermione's sharp intake of breath behind him, while ron said, "bloody hell."
it was a portrait of the trio. attached to it was a note. harry picked up the note and read,
dear harry,
yes, i have a portrait of you and your friends in here. i
hope you dont mind. you see, i get very lonely here in
grimmauld place all by myself. i was going to have a portrait
of just you, but that didn't seem right. and besides, i like
your friends a lot. if you'll notice, i have a lot of portraits
in this room, not just you three. i have one of your mum and dad, too.
not to mention one of lupin. i used to even have one of pettigrew long ago,
but i blasted that to pieces. oh, and i also have one of dumbledore.
there's a portrait of me as well, because my stupid mum said i liked
talking to myself, but i hid it in the closet.
-sirius
harrys hands shook as he read the note. his mum and dad? dumbledore? sirius? all in this very room? and sirius had cared so much about him, harry, that he had gotten a portrait of him and his friends. harry couldn't take it. the grief of sirius' death was suddenly overwhelming.
"harry? is that really you? is it really my son, and not his portrait?"
harry almost dropped the note. he turned to look at the portrait behind him, from where the voice had come. suddenly, he could barely breath.
"mum?" he croaked. "dad?"
"oh, it IS you! oh james, look, it's our harry! look how big he is! i can't even believe he's alive! he looks exactly like you, james!"
"you're right lily. except he has your eyes. beautiful and green." harry looked at his parents, trying hard not to cry, as his mother was. he had heard this so many times before that he had started to hate hearing it. coming from his parents, though (or, at least, portraits of his parents), it was the most wonderful thing he had ever heard.
"and look james! it's his friends! oh, dumbledore's told us so much about the two of you. i want to thank you both for taking care of our little boy like that," said lily, the tears making her voice crack. "you've been such good friends to harry. you must have, because you're even in the portrait with harry. oh, i feel like i know you both so well. just listening to your bickering makes me laugh."
hermione squeezed harry's hand, tears welling up in her own eyes.
"what is it with women and crying?" came an annoyed voice from the open closet. harry froze. not daring to breath, he turned towards the closet.
"sirius?" he whispered carefully.
"the one and only," came the happy reply. harry pushed away the coats hanging there to find sirius grinning at him. now, do you mind hanging me up in my room, please? it's rather lonely back here, and i'd like to see everyone. well, their portraits, anyway." harry did so quickly, and soon sirius was grinning at him from the wall. "now stop that moping, harry, you're making me ashamed to be your godfather. you're a potter! and besides, its been over a year since i died. surely you're over it by now? besides, from what i heard, i died fighting for you. what could be better than that?"
harry swallowed. "you're right sirius. i've accepted the fact that you're gone. i mean, i miss you like hell, but i've accepted your death."
"good. but then why the bloody hell are you still so glum? you have your own house, for goodness sake!."
harry paused, looking at the floor. "yea, i do," he said. "and thanks for that, by the way."
"you're welcome," said sirius grinning. "i figured you deserved it more than anyone."
harry swallowed again, the tears now more threatening than ever. "thanks sirius. but the reason i'm still so upset is because - is because."
"because i, like you, have left this realm of existance," came an ancient voice. harry turned yet again to find himself staring at the portrait of dumbledore.
"professor dumbledore! you - you're-"
"yes harry. i'm here as well. you didn't think i would leave you alone to deal with voldemort before i finished teaching you, did you?"
harry looked down guiltily. dumbledore looked down at him carefully. "or perhaps you figured that you were meant to be alone, and that was why i died?" he said knowingly. harry looked up quickly. "know this, mr. potter. i have never truly left until none are loyal to me."
this was too much for harry. hot tears poured down his face. "yes, professor. i won't forget that."
"now, harry, i know what you're thinking. a portrait can never be as good as the real person. and you're right. a portrait contains the essence of a person. it can think and act exactly as they would. but it is not the person. you should never try to replace a person witha portrait. to do so would be to dishonor that person's memory. however, a portrait still thinks and feels. for instance, your mother and father are looking at you, even now, with hearts full to the bursting with love and pride. that is why you can take comfort in the fact that a portrait of a person preserves not only the image of a person, but the memory as well. if there is a portrait there, then the person it portrays will never leave you. and sirius was clever enough to put permanent sticking charms on our portraits, so there is a good chance that we will be here for a long while," said dumbledore with a smile.
"well," said lupin speaking for the first time. "there's no charm on sirius' own portrait. perhaps that can be arranged...?" he said, looking at hermione, who jumped and placed the appropriate charm on the portrait. "that's better," he said, smiling. "now, i take it you three are planning to stay for a while, which means that you will need food. plus, various members of the order will be coming through here soon enough, so you should start trying to fix this place up again. it should be a bit easier this time, since kreacher won't be here to undo all of your work. remember harry, if you ever need to talk, we're right here. now go on."
harry nodded, and the trio left sirius' room quietly. they headed over to the kitchen, wondering what on earth they could possibly find there. however, when they arrived in the kitchen, they were surprised to find it totally clean and well-stocked.
"oh yea. i'd almost forgotten," ron muttered. "my mum was here."
harry laughed, while hermione surpressed a smile. suddenly, she gasped. "oh my goodness. we forgot about malfoy!" she said, looking shocked.
"oh yea. he needs to eat to, doesn't he? i'd forgotten that evil gits have stomachs too," ron said, scowling.
"come on, you two. let's go get him."
"what? why do we have to get up? can't we just yell at him and wait for him to come down?"
"no," said hermione. "he'll probably get lost, remember?"
"that would be the idea," said ron, causing harry to laugh again.
"you two. honestly," said hermione exasperatedly. "well, come on."
"fine, fine," ron grumbled, and the two boy's followed hermione to draco's room. hermione knocked lightly on draco's door.
"draco?" she called. we're eating now. if you want something to eat, i suggest coming out now, or you'll get lost on your way to the kitchen."
"unless you want to starve, because that's fine too," ron said loudly.
"ron!" hermione chided, annoyed.
"what? why should i encourage him to come down? it's not like we enjoy his company or anything," ron said defensively. "admit it, hermione, you hate him just as much as we do." hermione didn't reply.
"draco!" she called again. "last chance. if you don't come now, we're going back down without you."
no reply came from inside. hermione hesitated a moment, and then carefully opened the door. "draco?" she called softly.
"hermione, what are you doing?" hissed ron. "we are supposed to be going downstairs to eat, not barging in om malfoy. he obviously wants to starve, now let's go!"
"ron, he hasn't eaten any more than we have. he must be starved." hermione hissed back. "and malfoy's not stupid. his hatred for us isn't going to stop him from taking care of himself. there's got to be a reason for this." saying this, she turned back to the little room.
"what do you want, granger?" came a voice from the bed. the three teens looked at the bed, and saw malfoy sitting there, glaring at them.
"we're eating now, and you must be hungry. come on," said hermione.
"i heard you mudblood. i thought, however, that you were going to leave when i didn't come out. i figured you would be the kind of person who actually did what they said. but what do i know?" he glared at them.
"malfoy," hermione said angrily. "i put up with you for the past several weeks. i'm not letting you die of starvation. all that anger suppression would have gone to waste, then. now get that slimy ass of your downstairs."
harry, ron, and malfoy all looked at hermione in surprise. hermione only glared at malfoy.
draco curled his lip. "no," he sneered finally. "i think i'd prefer to be alone right now."
"why, so you can cry over those photo's some more?" hermione asked suddenly, pointing at the pictures kreature had put up of various black family members, including draco's mother, narcissa malfoy. draco looked suddenly furious.
"for your information, i was not-"
"save your breath," interrupted hermione. "there's no point in denying it, you know. your eyes are completely red and puffy, and don't tell me it's allergies. i know for a fact that anyone connected in any way to the black family never has allergies. one of the ancient blacks used a potion so that all his heirs would never have them. i saw it in a book i read."
"well, ms. know-it-all, perhaps it never occured to you that something might have flown into my eye."
hermione raised her eyebrows. "both eyes, malfoy? while this may have happened, i highly doubt your eyes would be QUITE the puffy red they currently are. now stop lying malfoy, and get out of this room before i bring you out myself."
draco smirked at this. "you think you can get me out of here? i'd like to see you try. i'm about twice your size, granger."
hermione merely grinned at this. "malfoy, i think you're forgetting that i was the brightest witch in our year. i know this may come as a surprise, but sometimes getting what you want doesn't require brute force." with that, hermione flicked her wand, and suddenly, draco was up in their air, hanging by an ankle. she flicked her wand to the side and draco, upside down, went flying out the door, yelling his head off.
"ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN GRANGER!" ron was rolling on the floor, laughing, but harry wasn't half as amused. he recognized this spell as levicorpus, a handy, rather funny spell he had learned from the half-blood prince. only the prince turned out to be none other than severus snape, the very man who had murdered dumbledore. hermione, seeing the look on harry's face, quickly dropped malfoy.
"what's wrong harry?" she asked worriedly.
"snape," harry muttered angrily. "that was a spell snape thought up. how could you, hermione? how could you use a spell that that traitor, that MURDEROR thought up? you didn't even like the half-blood prince when you didn't know who he was!"
"harry, listen," said hermione gently. "i was thinking about it. and the thing is, i know you well enough to know that you will want to kill snape the way you want to kill voldemort himself. so what better way to do it than to use his own spells against him? and, i must admit, much as i never liked the half-blood prince, his spells are really quite useful. i figure why not use them?"
harry stared at hermione for a moment, and then sighed. "you're right, i suppose. and they ARE quite funny spells. well, most of them, anyways. but the thing is, he knows all the spells. how can i use them against him?"
"well, you dont have to use those spells exactly. you can do what i did."
"which is...?"
"expand on them, harry. you saw what i just did, you saw how i sent malfoy flying into the hallway. the prince didn't teach you how to do THAT, now did he?" hermione sounded rather satisfied with herself. harry stared at her.
"you made your own spells? damn, hermione, that's good! but you know i could never do that. i'm not nearly as good at that kind of thing as you are."
"well, i can help you. you too ron. together we can come up with some spectacualr spells. it's not too hard, really."
harry grinned. "okay, sounds good."
just then malfoy called, "are you lot coming? i don't appreciate being kicked out of my room to eat, only to find myself waiting while you guys idly chit-chat."
"it's my house malfoy. i can do whatever i want, whether or not you appreciate it. however, at this point, i'm hungry, and want to eat, so yes, we're coming."