So I'm at the Panda Express, which isn't as bad a mistake as it used to be because the other options are El Pollo Loco and McDonald's, and when I'm done I check my fortune cookie out, don't eat it, never eat the cookie, I just check the fortune ( Read more... )

Somewhere along the lines, someone gave me the "you have to die to be reborn" line, and because I'm not very smart I figured because it sounded so nice and poetic, it must be true ( Read more... )

Okay, so here's the scene ( Read more... )

HO HO HO! J'SUI L' FRENCHEUAX!

I am going to live in the zoo win we get older and we will all dance-and-prance a lot.

(This message is secretly sinister.)

In a motel in Kansas. Cheap: The escort van parked out front proves its profession. Salina, halfway through Kansas, halfway through America. As much ahead as behind: Somehow growing less foreign with each passing mile ( Read more... )

In the process of tangential research (re: the dry penis dilemma, which continues unabated), I ran across this fun article: Where Is My Foreskin? The Case Against Circumcision by Paul M. Fleiss, MD. Full of laughs, it's got me pretty much convinced that circumcision is the root of all evil. Read it, and if you're not convinced, come over here and I ( Read more... )

Is it November already? Fuck: I thought I had more time.

I bled ( Read more... )

The head of my penis is drying up ( Read more... )

Okay, so here's the deal ( Read more... )