I'm a mess

[guiltyred]

Our oldest kitty, Sami (she's not quite 9 yet), is in the kitty hospital. She's in renal failure; we don't know yet if it's the kind or stage she can come back from.

I...never deal well with these things. I'm a physical, emotional, and mental wreck. Every. Damn. Time. I'm highly empathic and sensitive, and I've long thought that I tend to pick up on

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[bnomiko]

*hugs* I just put my last pet rat down yesterday and a total of four pets last year... I'm down to one dog now. It never gets any easier, does it? And I wonder to myself, why do I put myself through this? But then I see a furry face looking at me, a wet nose pressing against me, and I remember... ah yes, that's why.

I hope Sami's prognosis turns out to be better than expected and that you'll have a lot more time with her. And I hope things turn around for you as well.

[guiltyred]

*hugs back* No, it never does. And I keep saying that this is it, it hurts too much, no more cats after these are gone...yet the cats all have other plans and keep coming into my life anyway. There are moments I tell myself that even the joy isn't worth it - and then one of them does something utterly sweet or doofy or impossible, and I know that's just the pain talking.

We should be getting the final blood test results within the hour now; that will tell us if we're looking at hospice or goodbye. I'm hanging on with Romy and waiting; it's all we can do now.