[school 2013] with just a hint of color
Title: with just a hint of color
Rating: PG
Word count: 1090
Summary: Kangjoo grows up just fine. (slight Hakyung/Kangjoo, Hankyung/Minki.)
with just a hint of color
At the age of eleven, Kangjoo decided that she really had enough with the boys in her class being obnoxious as fuck and stealing hairbrushes and lipgloss from the girls she ate lunch with and never letting her play soccer with them because she was a girl, girls don't need to play soccer or borrow the latest tankoban of Naruto, so she waltzed into school one morning in a boy's uniform, took her seat, and told absolutely everyone to fuck off.
Including the teacher. Who took her to the counseling office who called her mother who left her stall in the middle of the day to treat her to lunch and get her a haircut and say, "you'll wear your other uniform starting tomorrow, okay?" and Kangjoo had tugged at her short hair and said, "okay."
After that, it really was okay. Her mother didn't ask her stupid question like, why or are you sure, just sat in the kitchen and rolled dough between her fingers for the morning's meal. And so Kangjoo decided not to ask, do you understand? because of course her mother couldn't understand. Kangjoo didn't even understand why sometimes she wanted her long hair back and why she wanted a skirt but why she also wanted the strength that boys respect and felt she couldn't have both.
***
Kangjoo gets used to having short hair and the boys get used to her. She's half of them--she eats lunch at their table and won't put up with their jokes about her breasts and training bras--but she also tries on lipstick sometimes before she gets to school, arriving in the classroom with lips that are bright red. Sometimes the color lasts only for ten minutes--Kangjoo running out of the room to wipe it away in the bathroom, overcome with humiliation, wondering if she's trying too hard. Sometimes it lasts an entire period.
"That's not your color," one girl says in the bathroom one day, brushing her long, brown hair away from her face. It's a beautiful face. It's the kind of face Kangjoo wants to have.
"You think?" she asks, poking at her lips. "How can you tell?"
The girl shrugs. Kangjoo leans forward unobtrusively and reads her name off her pin. Song Hakyung. "Because you look better without it."
Oh, Kangjoo thinks. "Oh," she says.
Hakyung smiles. It's a very pretty smile and it lights up her face and sends trembles through Kangjoo's stomach.
Hakyung packs up her makeup and hairbrush and flounces out of the bathroom. "Bitch," someone hisses from a stall, "thinks she's too good for us."
Kangjoo kicks at the door as a warning and wonders why girls and boys are just as bad.
***
Kangjoo gets Hakyung's phone number the way she earns the right to sit next to Hakyung at lunch: brute force and good grades. Hakyung stops bringing makeup to school ("it takes too much time and I need to study") but gives Kangjoo her last tube of nude lipstick and says, "your color."
"Oh," Kangjoo says, thinking her heart couldn't beat faster, thinking that all she wants to do is lean forward and share the color with Hakyung, wear it together, "thank you."
Hakyung passes Kangjoo a pen. "Let's do another page of questions, yeah?"
Kangjoo wants to say no. Kangjoo wants to touch the spot of skin above Hakyung's knee that Hakyung's skirt doesn't cover when she sits down. But the weird-looking Go Namsoon is in the corner watching the both of them, and Kangjoo supposes that there's a time and place for everything, and this is not love's.
It's just their first year of school anyway, Kangjoo thinks, subtly changing her name to Kkangjoo in Song's phone when she isn't looking, they'll have plenty of time.
***
They don't have plenty of time. In sophomore year all that matters is the SAT. In senior year, all that matters is Kim Minki. Kangjoo curls a leg around Hakyung and listens to her talk about how absurd it is that Minki wants to take a few hours to do something other than cram. "We've just got three weeks," she whispers, red creeping in her cheeks. "I can't believe him."
Kangjoo can't believe that three days earlier Minki had come to her waving the white flag, asking for her help. "What does she like, what should we do?"
"It's Hakyung," Kangjoo had said.
And Minki had pouted sadly, brushing hair out of his eyes. "That's the problem, isn't it?"
Hakyung had been sitting at her desk, earphones in, hair draped over the side of her desk. Kangjoo almost couldn't breathe and wondered whether she could get away with kicking Minki in the shins. "Yeah," she'd agreed instead. "So use your brain. Like Hakyung would."
Minki had scratched at his head and then smiled and said, "you know. Heungsoo watches you. A lot."
Kangjoo really had kicked him that time. "He watches Namsoon more."
***
The first date goes well. The second date goes better, because this time Minki doesn't spill anything on himself. Hakyung promises to tell Kangjoo about the third date over hotdogs, so Kangjoo shows up in a dress she's borrowed and the lipstick Hakyung gave her two years previously.
Hakyung doesn't bat an eye. "You look pretty," she says.
"I love you," Kangjoo finds herself saying, incandescent lights burning shame into her hands. "You're not a bitch. You're my favorite."
And Hakyung leans forward sadly. "I know. And I'm so, so sorry."
***
Kangjoo grows her hair out after that. She wears what she wants at university (forty minutes away from Hakyung and Minki in Seoul) and mixes dresses with low-slung baggy jeans and feels strong in both of them. I know, Hakyung had said, stroking at her hand and touching her lips to Kangjoo's cheek. I'm sorry.
Not you're wrong. Not I hate you. Just I'm sorry.
Kangjoo stops kicking boys in the shins. They still listen to her, she finds. And no one says anything when she kisses her very first girl on the steps of the school. Not because Kangjoo might beat the crap out of them (though that's a possibility she hasn't ruled out), but because Kangjoo does it with a confidence that people admire, that people fall in love with, that people respect. "You're the strongest person I know," Hwayoung says, curling fingers in Kangjoo's hair.
And Kangjoo laughs and says, "the things you learn in school, huh?"
Author's Note: idek i should proofread this shit or smtg i suppose
too many hobbit feels
Rating: PG
Word count: 1090
Summary: Kangjoo grows up just fine. (slight Hakyung/Kangjoo, Hankyung/Minki.)
with just a hint of color
At the age of eleven, Kangjoo decided that she really had enough with the boys in her class being obnoxious as fuck and stealing hairbrushes and lipgloss from the girls she ate lunch with and never letting her play soccer with them because she was a girl, girls don't need to play soccer or borrow the latest tankoban of Naruto, so she waltzed into school one morning in a boy's uniform, took her seat, and told absolutely everyone to fuck off.
Including the teacher. Who took her to the counseling office who called her mother who left her stall in the middle of the day to treat her to lunch and get her a haircut and say, "you'll wear your other uniform starting tomorrow, okay?" and Kangjoo had tugged at her short hair and said, "okay."
After that, it really was okay. Her mother didn't ask her stupid question like, why or are you sure, just sat in the kitchen and rolled dough between her fingers for the morning's meal. And so Kangjoo decided not to ask, do you understand? because of course her mother couldn't understand. Kangjoo didn't even understand why sometimes she wanted her long hair back and why she wanted a skirt but why she also wanted the strength that boys respect and felt she couldn't have both.
***
Kangjoo gets used to having short hair and the boys get used to her. She's half of them--she eats lunch at their table and won't put up with their jokes about her breasts and training bras--but she also tries on lipstick sometimes before she gets to school, arriving in the classroom with lips that are bright red. Sometimes the color lasts only for ten minutes--Kangjoo running out of the room to wipe it away in the bathroom, overcome with humiliation, wondering if she's trying too hard. Sometimes it lasts an entire period.
"That's not your color," one girl says in the bathroom one day, brushing her long, brown hair away from her face. It's a beautiful face. It's the kind of face Kangjoo wants to have.
"You think?" she asks, poking at her lips. "How can you tell?"
The girl shrugs. Kangjoo leans forward unobtrusively and reads her name off her pin. Song Hakyung. "Because you look better without it."
Oh, Kangjoo thinks. "Oh," she says.
Hakyung smiles. It's a very pretty smile and it lights up her face and sends trembles through Kangjoo's stomach.
Hakyung packs up her makeup and hairbrush and flounces out of the bathroom. "Bitch," someone hisses from a stall, "thinks she's too good for us."
Kangjoo kicks at the door as a warning and wonders why girls and boys are just as bad.
***
Kangjoo gets Hakyung's phone number the way she earns the right to sit next to Hakyung at lunch: brute force and good grades. Hakyung stops bringing makeup to school ("it takes too much time and I need to study") but gives Kangjoo her last tube of nude lipstick and says, "your color."
"Oh," Kangjoo says, thinking her heart couldn't beat faster, thinking that all she wants to do is lean forward and share the color with Hakyung, wear it together, "thank you."
Hakyung passes Kangjoo a pen. "Let's do another page of questions, yeah?"
Kangjoo wants to say no. Kangjoo wants to touch the spot of skin above Hakyung's knee that Hakyung's skirt doesn't cover when she sits down. But the weird-looking Go Namsoon is in the corner watching the both of them, and Kangjoo supposes that there's a time and place for everything, and this is not love's.
It's just their first year of school anyway, Kangjoo thinks, subtly changing her name to Kkangjoo in Song's phone when she isn't looking, they'll have plenty of time.
***
They don't have plenty of time. In sophomore year all that matters is the SAT. In senior year, all that matters is Kim Minki. Kangjoo curls a leg around Hakyung and listens to her talk about how absurd it is that Minki wants to take a few hours to do something other than cram. "We've just got three weeks," she whispers, red creeping in her cheeks. "I can't believe him."
Kangjoo can't believe that three days earlier Minki had come to her waving the white flag, asking for her help. "What does she like, what should we do?"
"It's Hakyung," Kangjoo had said.
And Minki had pouted sadly, brushing hair out of his eyes. "That's the problem, isn't it?"
Hakyung had been sitting at her desk, earphones in, hair draped over the side of her desk. Kangjoo almost couldn't breathe and wondered whether she could get away with kicking Minki in the shins. "Yeah," she'd agreed instead. "So use your brain. Like Hakyung would."
Minki had scratched at his head and then smiled and said, "you know. Heungsoo watches you. A lot."
Kangjoo really had kicked him that time. "He watches Namsoon more."
***
The first date goes well. The second date goes better, because this time Minki doesn't spill anything on himself. Hakyung promises to tell Kangjoo about the third date over hotdogs, so Kangjoo shows up in a dress she's borrowed and the lipstick Hakyung gave her two years previously.
Hakyung doesn't bat an eye. "You look pretty," she says.
"I love you," Kangjoo finds herself saying, incandescent lights burning shame into her hands. "You're not a bitch. You're my favorite."
And Hakyung leans forward sadly. "I know. And I'm so, so sorry."
***
Kangjoo grows her hair out after that. She wears what she wants at university (forty minutes away from Hakyung and Minki in Seoul) and mixes dresses with low-slung baggy jeans and feels strong in both of them. I know, Hakyung had said, stroking at her hand and touching her lips to Kangjoo's cheek. I'm sorry.
Not you're wrong. Not I hate you. Just I'm sorry.
Kangjoo stops kicking boys in the shins. They still listen to her, she finds. And no one says anything when she kisses her very first girl on the steps of the school. Not because Kangjoo might beat the crap out of them (though that's a possibility she hasn't ruled out), but because Kangjoo does it with a confidence that people admire, that people fall in love with, that people respect. "You're the strongest person I know," Hwayoung says, curling fingers in Kangjoo's hair.
And Kangjoo laughs and says, "the things you learn in school, huh?"
Author's Note: idek i should proofread this shit or smtg i suppose
too many hobbit feels