I have WAY too much free time
Well you see me and this "great" guy... lets call him Jim... had been going out for about 10 months.
We were so happy.
But then we found out I got pregnant.
And that ass had the nerve to leave me.
So I had the kid.
And then Jim started stalking me.
I just didn't know what to do anymore so I called the cops.
They sent me to a secret location and changed my name to Franny McDoogal.
But then Jim found me!
Which leads me to present day. I now live with 234238472098374 cats in Rhode Island and things have never been better!
THE END